Conference rocks::weight_control

    
    Felicitations and congratulations - it's not easy to change ones life,
    but you're doing a grand job.
    
    
    
    	- Andy

       I second Andy's comments.
       
       Holly, if you don't mind my asking, I'm curious about how you
       handle meals that you don't prepare yourself. At restaurants or
       someone else's home, it must be terribly difficult to be sure that
       you're not eating something that will cause an unwanted reaction.
       Even if the people serving the meal assure you that it contains no
       sugar, so many prepared foods have sugar added that they may
       unknowingly sabotage you.
       
       Have you found a workable way to avoid eating hidden sugars when
       eating away from home?

    Hi Holly,
    Do you know of an OA meeting in the Leominster/Fitchburg area?
    Thanks for any input.
    Donna

Holly, thank you for entering your note.  I'm touched by it.  You've
revealed a part of yourself that some would have a difficult time
revealing, yet I'm sure it will help many of us in the various
struggles against our personal addictions.  

Hugs,

Liz

    Don has a point: I'm VIOLENTLY allergic to MSG but love chinese food.
    
    I've almost given up eating chinese outside my home.
    
    I'd speculate that there are no good answers, Don, but let's hear from
    Holly...
    
    	- Andy

    Holly,
    May I add my applause to your noble efforts!
    Donna

    Thanks, everybody, I needed to share that.
    
    About sugar and msg - first of all there are restaurants I have come to
    know and trust.  If the Chinese waiter in a new restaurant seems challenged
    by the English, I ask politely to speak with someone else.  If I say
    'medical needs' they seem to get it.  If I can't taste the sweetnes,
    the sugar is usually below a threshold that is going to affect me.  And
    if you learn the dishes of a cuisine (I cook Chinese and Indian food
    pretty well), you get to know many that would just not be prepared with
    sugar in a respectable restaurant!
    
    I eat commercial salad dressing.  I have learned to go for the kind
    that most resembles vinegar and oil, or bleu cheese.  Next in order of
    preference is creamy Italian, and last of all Russian or French.  If I
    get those, I only do it on the side and cut them with vinegar or oil.
    I probably do get a bit of sugar now and then, but I know what my own
    threshold is and honor it.  I've tasted other peoples' chinese dishes
    and occasionally hit a sweet one, and just stopped after the first
    taste.  I guess I'm learning a lot about rigidity - I don't need to
    fall apart if I inadvertently ingest something sweet.  I taste things,
    and that way never get very much of something I don't want to have.
    
    On the road, I gravitate towards Indian food - this worked real well in
    the UK.  It never seemed to be sweetened.  If all else fails, and I
    don't see anything I can eat, I order grilled steak or fish.  I always
    ask for condiments on the side.  I would rather eat a little extra fat
    when eating out then start fooling around with sugar or starches.
    
    I am gentle with myself - I think much more about what I can eat than
    what I cannot, and this is good psychology for me.  If I make an honest
    mistake, I let it go.  A tiny bit of sugar here and there in a
    non-sweet tasting dish does not seem to trigger my sugar addiction.  If
    it did, it would be much harder and I'd have to carry more stuff and
    ask more questions.  
    
    Holly

    Can someone in OA with a current Mass. meeting list answer Donna's
    question about meetings in central Mass?  I live in NH and haven't
    picked up a Mass. meeting list in a while.
    
    Holly

    I know of two meetings in the Leominster/Fitchburg area.  One is a
    10:00 a.m. step meeting in Leominster Hospital.  The meeting is held in
    a conference room immediately adjacent to the Cafeteria.
    
    The other meeting is a speaker meeting at the Burbank Hospital in
    Fitchburg.  That meeting is on Sunday evenings at 6:00 p.m. and it is
    held in a room that is also adjacent to the Cafeteria.
    
    Both of these are good meetings, but my personal preference is the
    Burbank Hospital meeting.  Also, there is OA literature available at
    this meeting but none is available at the Leominster meeting.
    
    Linda
     

    Keep up the good work and a standing ovation for you,to be able
    to lose that much weight is something to be very proud of and again
    I take my hat off to you.You are an insiration to all of thoes that
    are having a hard time to try to loose some weight,and to keep it off.
    Best of luck in the comming year. D.A.

    Just wanted to add my CONGRATS to you!  THANKS so much for SHARING,
    your note was a great inspiration to me.  I am just starting out on
    a 12 step program and your real lived experience gives much
    encouragement.  One Day At A Time seemed like such a crazy concept to
    apply to one's addicitions: Foodism, Alcoholism, Credit-Cardism,
    Drugism, etc.; but it WORKS, so as they say "KEEP COMING BACK", this
    type of group support is truely a GIFT.
    
    Thanks Again!

	Re .12:

	Your participation here says that you recognize a part of the 
	problem, and want to work on it.  That's a big step -- but don't 
	expect everything to magically fall into place.  Going to OA was
	also a positive step, but perhaps too big of one at the time.  I'd
	suggest that you try going back, without making any commitments to
	yourself or anyone else about future meetings or taking a sponsor.
	Get more comfortable with the group first, and take the time to 
	find a sponsor who *won't* feel like a stranger.  Your sponsor 
	should be someone you can feel close to.

	Good luck!
	Beverly

    > First - Congratulations from me too.  You've got what I want.  Not a
    > day goes by when I don't hate myself for the way I look.  I went to OA
    
    Thank you.  I've been where you are, and I know what that feels like.
    I don't have anything magical that you don't have, really.  I'm a
    food-chocolate-ice cream-pasta-sugar-alcohol addict who spent most of
    her life putting that stuff first.
    
    In terms of not being able to get yourself going on 'the plan'...there
    is no sacred plan.  Some people won't sponsor unless you do exactly
    what they do.  I found a sponsor who was willing to believe in me, and
    work with me, and help me create a food plan tailored for my life!  I
    travel a lot on business and she is home with small daycare children. 
    Our food needs and responses have to be different.  If I were home all
    day, I would probably have to write out my food and weigh and measure. 
    I don't do well in situations where unlimited food is present.
    
    OA and AA say take what you want and leave the rest.  Some people in
    those programs say, "There is one way, my way."  What I did with my
    sponsor was to create a food plan I could live with.  At the very
    beginning I went on a high protein diet (ok'd by doctor).  After 90
    days I switched over to a food plan that included more fruit, some
    grain, and more vegetables.  I need to be able to eat in restaurants,
    and I created some options there, for example go to a Chinese
    restaurant and order a chicken and veggie dish not prepared with sugar
    or much starch.  I agreed to take a portion and no more and to eat it
    with chopsticks, avoiding the sauce, and skip the rice.  
    
    Lots of people wouldn't want that option in their food plan, but my
    sponsor was ok with it if I promised to be honest about it, and if I
    got results.  I did get results, losing the first 50 pounds in the
    first 4 months!
    
    I called in my food for the first 6 months, and she was very helpful. 
    I quickly established some things that worked, and did them
    consistently.
    
    > But I don't want to have to be different!  All I
    > can think of is that "normal" people don't have to plan out each meal,
    > "normal" people don't think about food 24 hours a day.  How can I
    > accept that fact that I am different when I don't want to?  I know
    
    
    I don't think of myself as all that different.  I don't make a big deal
    about my food plan in public.  I don't eat sugar, no matter what, and I
    don't eat pasta no matter what.  I have eaten bread on very limited
    occasions, but I always said to someone "I am having 1 piece of bread
    with this meal because..." and done exactly that and no more.  Starches
    still scare me a little, although I never binged on bread in my life. 
    They are not a part of my daily routine and I don't use them unless
    they are measured.
    
    I can always eat salad, fish and chicken in a restaurant.  I have meals
    I am comfortable eating in Indian, Chinese, and Mexican restaurants.  I
    got through a 3 week business trip in Europe by committing what I was
    going to have at each meal to my travel partner who had agreed to help
    me in that way before we went.
    
    For me the most important part of this was getting off the sugar, my
    pet drug.  I had to have help the first 3 months changing ancient
    binging habits.  I had to write it down, and it helped to call it in. 
    I also had a support person in AA who knew a lot about nutrition and
    who made suggestions.  For the first 90 days it is going to be
    stressful to make these changes.  The good news is that after a while
    you get the drug out of your body, and you don't have the physiological
    cravings in quite the same way, although your head can still sabotage
    you.
    
    I would start by writing down a food plan that might work for you. 
    What happens in your life on a regular basis that you need to be able
    to respond to constructively?  What foods do you love that you don't
    binge on?  For example I love spicy foods, but binged on the sweet
    ones.  Spicy ones are a very rewarding part of my life these days.
    What would life be like without the sugar?  I think that's the bottom
    line, most food addicts are out of control with sugar above all else.
    
    AA people have helped me tremendously.  Their  program is "don't drink
    and go to meetings".  From them I learned a lot about identifying what
    my drug is (sugar) and avoiding that.  With other foods I *can* have a
    lot more choices and flexibility, and I know I'm doing the right thing
    as long as I get good results.
    
    I hope this helps some.  I think it's important to keep in mind that a
    successful program is a very individual thing.  It's ideal to find a
    food sponsor who understands you and your needs and supports you in
    'taking what you want and leaving the rest'.  If something doesn't feel
    right to you, maybe it's not right.  Ask questions, be assertive, take
    a risk.  You can always change sponsors later, or try something
    different.
    
    Sometimes the people who say the most in OA are the ones who've
    developed a joint party line among themselves - I respect that what
    they are doing works well for them.  I have different needs and what I
    do works well for me.  You've identified that you like something about
    what I do, and the results I've gotten, and so you've taken a key first
    step of asking for more info as well as owning your own powerlessness
    over the role food is playing in your life!
    
    Holly

                      <<< Note 569.12 by HITPS::WERBER >>>
                     -< How can I get what you've got???? >-

>>  But I hate being addicted and I want to
>>  be free. Are you ever free of it or do you forever battle it?  Thanks
>>  for any thoughts anyone has on this.  

I can speak only of tobacco and alcohol and only my own experience.
I have been free of tobacco for about 14 years.  It took about 4-5
years for the desire to completely leave me.  By "completely" I mean
that I would every once in a while get a craving.  No longer.  I have
been free of alcohol for about 2.5 years.  I have never craved it
since leaving it.

    HOLLY:
    Congratulations!!!!  I myself have been on more diets than I can
    count.  I am about 30 lbs. overweight, however, at 5'4" my all time
    high was 199 lbs.!  Sure I can loose the weight on any diet plan
    I follow, only to gain it back again and start the process all over
    again.  Your tip about OA has inspired me to call them this morning
    and see if I can get off this roller coaster ONCE AND FOR ALL!  I
    did not realize, like so many others, that OA was not only for very
    large people, but for anyone.  I get so depressed sometimes.  We
    live in a world where slim is in and anything else is considered
    gross.  Too bad we are so short sighted!  You have a lot to be proud
    of and HAVE COME A LONG WAY.  I'll pray for your continued success!
    Regards,
    Struggling, struggling, struggling.