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Conference rocks::weight_control

Title: Weight Loss and Maintenance
Notice:**PLEASE** enter notes in mixed case (CAPS ARE SHOUTING)!
Moderator:ASICS::LESLIE
Created:Mon Jul 09 1990
Last Modified:Tue Jun 03 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:933
Total number of notes:9931

403.0. ""Dieter's Anger"?" by CURIE::ASBURY () Thu Feb 16 1989 16:24

    
    Hi all,
    
    I was just talking to someone and, as so often happens these days,
    in so doing, I figured out what I am feeling. I am angry. I wonder
    if anyone can empathize or (better yet) offer some wise words...
    Here's the situation...
    
    I have what seems to be an inordinately tough time losing weight.
    Over the past few years, I have gotten to know my body and how it
    works well enough to be able to maintain. I can pretty much stay
    within a pound or two of my weight (whatever it happens to be )
    (+/-) without much trouble. But losing is a constant battle. And 
    I put in so much effort and work so hard and the reward is either 
    small or nil. (clarification - I weighed one thing in high school.
    No problem maintaining. Gained at the beginning of college. Stopped
    gaining. Have been losing small amounts in fits and starts ever
    since then, generally not gaining any back) 
    
    But I can usually deal with this non-immmediate gratification stuff. 
    I am trying to teach myself to be patient, etc. What makes me angry 
    (sometimes) is seeing others who can eat so much (and of the stuff 
    I have to generally avoid) and they have no problem. When I eat so 
    little relative to them and have such a hard time losing. I suppose
    besides anger there is a fair amount of jealousy in there. It just
    doesn't seem fair.
    
    Well, thanks for listening.
    
     -Amy.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
403.1Cultivate a different qualityCOOKIE::WILCOXDatabase Systems/WestThu Feb 16 1989 16:5327
Amy, by any possibility when you are in "losing" mode are you really
maybe depriving yourself of what your body needs so it goes into
"conserve" mode?  You didn't mention your weightloss method and I 
know this type of thing can happen.  But then, don't all of us
WEIGHTLOSS participants follow sensible plans :-). ?

Yeah, it really pi**es me off, too, when I see people gorge themselves
constantly and not gain an ounce.  And of course, they also DON'T 
exercise!  Me, I look at a doughnut and it gravitates to my thigh!
Chocolate doesn't stand a chance around me.

Cultivate a different quality in yourself that sets you apart from
others.  Be that to develop and maintain the most beautiful nails, hair,
skin, sense of humor, warmth of personality, generous nature, or anything
else.  Body size and our struggle for it is but a tiny (though highly
visible) part of what makes us a whole person.

Also, don't deny the anger.  It's ok and doesn't make you any less a 
person.  It's kind of like me telling a friend the other day that I was
so happy her week old baby was sleeping well 5-6 hours at a time.  I
was happy, but why the he** did her kid do that when mine was a total
nightmare at that age!?

I hope this helps.

Liz
403.2you can eat a lot, if you eat the right stuffANT::ZARLENGAYo love, you MUST be kidding!Fri Feb 17 1989 07:3915
	When some people see how much food I eat for lunch, they can't
    believe I'm not overweight.
    
    	But what they fail to realize is that even though I eat a lot
    of food, I eat nothing that isn't allowed on the Weight Watchers
    eating plan.  Tuna on a bulkie roll, salad, lots of vegetables,
    and a couple of fruits.
    
    	If you're eating right and exercising regularly, you should
    be able to lose weight.  If it doesn't happen, it might be time
    to consult a dietician.
    
    -mike z
403.3updateCURIE::ASBURYFri Feb 17 1989 08:4237
    re: .1
    
    Liz,
    
    Thank you. I think that may have been just what I needed to hear.
    I rejoined WW 5 weeks ago. So, I am doing this sensibly. My group
    had a goodbye lunch for someone who is leaving yesterday. I was
    very proud of myself, because, although everything else looked and
    smelled great, I had a salad and 1/2 sandwhich. But, I really wanted
    all of those other things. Or I thought I did. But I ended up sitting
    across the table from someone who ate an appetizer, a meal, AND
    some yummy looking apple crisp w/ vanilla ice-cream for dessert.
    I don't think she eats that way all the time, but still! I guess
    what I am working on is having "special occasions" not necessarily
    mean "you have the right to eat whatever you want with no effects
    on your weight".  Maybe it's only the VERY special occasions when
    I can decide something like that. Also, two days before, I had a 
    lunch date. And the night before I went out to dinner with some 
    family members. I made all the right choices all three times. I 
    guess I was just tired of being "good". 
    
    I don't know. 
    
    re: .2 - Mike - Thanks. I am not "going hungry" these days. I, too,
    am learning to fill myself up with all sorts of GOOD things. (veggies,
    etc.) 
    
    
    Just a side note - despite my feelings of doom (and everything else)
    yesterday, when I went to WW last night, I had lost 2 pounds for
    the week. So, it's working. It just doesn't always *feel* like it.
    
    Thanks for all the support!
    
    -Amy.
403.4I've felt that anger, tooATSE::BLOCKBeverly (was Kasper for a while) BlockFri Feb 17 1989 10:5919
    I can definitely empathize with this one.  I sometimes get into a state
    of helpless fury against the fates who've decreed that I shall have these 
    problems with food for the rest of my life.  It's closely related to the
    depression I get into when I feel control slipping away; I really don't
    want to be eating all this stuff, but I feel that I can't help it.  Every
    little excuse gets grabbed; special occasions don't *need* feasts (does
    the person who's leaving the group really care what you ate?), but we
    feel deprived if we can't have them.

    The frustration can be overwhelming, and I wish I knew a way to turn it
    off.  You're a step ahead of me if you're losing instead of gaining; all
    I can see to do is wait for it to turn around (I've been avoiding a
    return to WW because I don't think I'll stick with it right now).

    Good luck (to both of us!),
    Beverly