| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 137.1 | A 100 lb. heart! | SSDEVO::HILLIGRASS | | Tue Oct 20 1987 14:12 | 16 |
| Ann,
I hear what you are saying.....
I am not sure if I felt less important but I do feel a lot more
confident about my self and my looks now that I have lost weight.
Sometimes you feel like you just don't fit in.
You are very important Ann, and your input to this notes file is
inspiring. I have no idea what you look like but I know that your
heart is bigger than many others!
Keep the faith!
- Sue
|
| 137.2 | Thanks Sue! | NHL::ARNO | | Wed Oct 21 1987 06:36 | 15 |
|
Thank you Sue for your nice reply. I was wondering how much you
lost? How long did it take you? What program are or were you
on? Maybe you could tell us some helpful hints to know that
there is hope for those who feel there is no hope!
I can tell by your reply that your heart is pretty big too..
Thanks again,
Ann
|
| 137.3 | | STAR::YANKOWSKAS | Hi Mom! | Wed Oct 21 1987 07:25 | 37 |
| First of all, as one who received a good amount of support from
Ann during my weightloss program, I'll echo Sue's comments in .1.
It's unfortunate but true, there are people out there who make
overweight people feel less important and/or discriminate against
them. Somebody, in another note, stated that overweight people
were "the last minority". They hit the nail on the head. Although
I've personally never been the victim of such discrimination, I
know of at least the following two cases:
Several years ago, my mother-in-law was looking for a job.
She saw an ad in a local paper advertising a receptionist position
for a local doctor. She called the number listed, and had a
brief interview with a member of the doctor's staff over the
phone. The question then came up, "How much do you weigh?".
My mother-in-law figured that this question was out of line,
and although she was not that overweight at the time, replied
"250 pounds". The phone interview abruptly ended at that point;
needless to say, she didn't get the job...
A school system that my wife was working for a few years ago
decided to add another music teacher to their staff. Of the
candidates that applied, two were head and shoulders above the
others: a man of normal weight and build, and a woman who was
about 70-80 pounds overweight. Both were equal as far as education
and experience went. The director of music involved went with
the person of normal weight, rationalizing his decision with
"I can't take a chance on someone that heavy having health
problems.", although the woman was otherwise in good health.
Anyone else know of (or been the victim of) similar cases?
Paul
|
| 137.4 | Noone loves a fat girl! | NHL::ARNO | | Wed Oct 21 1987 07:59 | 31 |
|
Yes I sure have been in Cases like the one's you talked about.
I have applied for jobs and they were very interested in me
over the phone and the minute they saw me they almost choked
and couldn't get me out quick enough,
Not just jobs but people outside as well I had a lady look
at me in a Mall like I was a freak, I just looked right back
at her..
Some young guys hurried up to see what I looked like and when
they saw me they said ohhhh she's too fat keep going!
Why would they think I would be interested in them , The looked
dirty to me.. greesy hair and they made fun of me..
I tell you when ever a friend needed me I was there and if I see
an animal that needed help I am there.. I feel that I am a caring
person but people don't see your heart they see your body!!
Also when I was younger one of my sister's and I went to the beach
and instead of saying this is fun,, she said I like coming with
you because you are fat the the guys look at me and not you..
So I have had my share.. but I don't have enough time to write
it all...................
Ann
|
| 137.5 | My head needs fixing, not only my waistline! | SHIRE::BIZE | | Wed Oct 21 1987 09:47 | 19 |
| To come back to 0., I feel that being fat hurts me much more in
my own eyes than in anybody else's eyes:
- "I" feel bad about myself;
- "I" feel insecure;
- "I" feel that others will not appreciate me;
... etc ... etc ... and as I have those negative feelings about
myself, than I project them unto others and they, who may never
have had any thoughts on the subject had I not been irradiating
these feelings of awfullness, begin to see me as I see myself,
inadequate, fat, a slob, and so on.
If I could be both fat and self-confident, would I bother to be
thin ????
Joana
Joana
|
| 137.6 | Is a diet a job plan in disguise???? | OVDVAX::WIEGMANN | | Wed Oct 21 1987 11:23 | 17 |
| I've been doing a lot of reading about management development, and,
along with that, "image management". I know I need to work on the
area of appearance, manipulating others' perceptions of me, but
I am wondering if there is any (or how much) validity there is in
the line of thinking that if I can't manage myself, how effective
will I be at managing other people? When it is so obvious that
I have a problem in the areas of discipline, goals, perseverance!
I'll be starting a management development course soon, and I'm
wondering if this will be discussed. Maybe I should bring it up
myself! Although it seems that female managers who are overweight
may actually have more credibility than slender ones, because no
one is going to say she got the job for some of the other
all-too-common reasons. But then, I work in a pretty small facility,
too - what do some of you think???
Terry
|
| 137.7 | We are special | 17870::ARNO | | Wed Oct 21 1987 15:19 | 26 |
|
I notice in Digital Managers are all sizes.. so this is a good
company..for that. I feel that even though heavy people are
smart too I still feel people don't give them the credit they
need..
I feel that we are all special people and noone will ever be like
us again. So we need to look in the mirror and say Yes I am
special and I am needed in this world ,, We may not notice
but all the jobs we have big or small we are doing our part.
If we also don't feel like we are doing what we were meant
to do then go ahead and do it....
I know we all want to lose weight but until then
we have to hang in there .
The best to all of you
Ann
|
| 137.8 | People looking :-} | 17870::ARNO | | Wed Oct 21 1987 15:22 | 12 |
|
One more thing I notice when people talk to a fat person
they always look you all over as to see if you are losing
or who knows why... They can't seem to just talk without
trying to see what you look like in cloths.................
Ann]
|
| 137.9 | Welcome to our future manager! | SHIRE::BIZE | | Thu Oct 22 1987 02:58 | 13 |
| RE: Can I manage others if I can't manage myself (roughly transcribed)
I certainly think so. Some people smoke, some drink, some eat, some...
I have never heard anybody doubt about his ability to manage just
because he/she smokes too much and can't stop. Having human frailties
makes you a better manager, because it makes you more aware of other
people's limitations and capabilities, just as you are aware of
your own.
I am sure you'll make a great manager.
Joana
|
| 137.10 | | CIPHER::VERGE | | Thu Oct 22 1987 08:42 | 19 |
| Being "overweight" (Read:: Fat) was frustrating to me, and I
felt terrible about myself all the time. I felt others looked at
me differently - especially those who knew mw when I was thin -
and I had no confidence, no self esteem. I don't know exactly what
is making it work this time, but I decided to do this for myself,
because of how I wanted to look and feel, and for no other reason.
I can't believe how my resolve has held.
Ann, believe that YOU are the most important person to you, and
that it doesn't matter so much what others think. You know you
are a good, important person, so don't let anyone give you the
impression that you are not. You will lose the weight; it just
takes a long time to do it in a healthy way. Don't give up on
yourself. Accept yourself for what you are; warm, kind, good,
important.
Val
|
| 137.11 | Thanks Val | NHL::ARNO | | Thu Oct 22 1987 11:20 | 23 |
|
Val,
I liked your advice and it sounds good to me. I guess the
best thing to do is forget about those people and lose for
number 1..
A lady at work had a friend that had a son that was drunk and
was in a accident, he died two days after.. A young good looking
man and now he's gone so that is prove each day is important.
How much weight did you lose Val and how long did it take you?
I have been thin before.. I was cubby around 9.. and then in High
school I lost alot of weight.. and then gained it after High school.
I have beeen up and down since.. More up then down..
Ann
|
| 137.12 | 20 down 25 to go | CIPHER::VERGE | | Thu Oct 22 1987 13:49 | 22 |
| Ann, I have been up and down for the last six years. Up until then,
I was one of those thin people who could eat anything - Oh, well.
I have tried dieting myself, Cambridge Diet, Atkins Diet, and several
others. Weight Watchers was last year, but I lost momentum 7 punds
from my goal weight, no one encouraged me, and I just ended up dropping
out, and then gained it all back!
I began the Weight Loss Clinic 5 weeks ago and have lost 20 pounds,
with 25 pounds more to go. Since the average is 3 lbs per week,
the remainder of the weight should be off around Christmas time
- when i start 6 weeks of stabilization, followed by six months
of maintenance. I am learning new techniques - like behavior
modification, and recognizing when I am full, etc. I am on 800
calories a day, and take vitamins, but other than that eat regular
food - only just eat the items on program (well, at least most of
the time). Just hang in there - You can do it!
Send me mail if you want - We all need the support we can give one
another.
Val
|
| 137.13 | Eat too much | NHL::ARNO | | Mon Nov 09 1987 10:03 | 17 |
|
I seem to be at a point that I lose 3 gain 4 lose 4 gain 5......
I just can't seem to get back into losing on a steady basis.
Is it that I am not taking my weight problem serious enough
or does it seem I like to eat more then lose?
I feel like I am at a dead end street and can't seem to turn
around to get out of it...
What do you think?
Ann
|
| 137.14 | some of my thoughts | CIPHER::VERGE | | Tue Nov 10 1987 07:45 | 36 |
| Ann; maybe you should stop worrying so much about it, and relax,
and just follow your program as though it were the normal thing
to do - which it should be. You are very concerned about yourself,
and that is very good, but maybe if you relax and take the attitude
that staying with your program is the normal, good thing to do,
it might be a little easier - and DON'T forget the water. I have
discovered that if I don;t drink the water, I retain the calories,
no matter how few I ate that day or that week.
I'm just commenting on this because I have have (finally) noticed
that when my diet and eating habits become the most important thing,
I start going off program and start losing. When it just becomes
part of my day-tday routine, and I can see it as normal, then I
have much less problem staying on.
The weightloss clinic has me on 800 calories a day, with NO sugars.
This may sound difficult, but after the first few days, you don;t
crave it. I have been told that it is because I have eliminated
the extra sugar and if I don't add more and keep things going, I
will not crave it. It does makes things easier, even though at
first I was very skeptical.
If being on WW works for you, stick to it, but maybe try to eliminate
some of the sugar and extra calories in sweet things, at least for
a while. It might get you back on track. I tried WW, and it seemed
to work for a while, but when I am allowed even a little of something,
I find myself taking a little more, then a little more, then a little
more . . . . . . because I can have some. So, try backing off from
red light foods - I know you can do it.
Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
Good Luck, Ann! We know you can succeed.
Val
|
| 137.15 | I want to be thin! | NHL::ARNO | | Fri Nov 13 1987 05:34 | 24 |
|
Val,
What is that Weightloss Clinic you go to? I was going to join
the Pyhs weight loss program and they stick with you through
thick and thin.. I didn't do it because of the money..
I am thinking after the Holidays I might join it so I can
get this fat off once and for all I have tryed all kinds of
weight programs, groups and even Dr's...
I have talked about my past to many people to see if
that was it.. I think I have talked enough about my
past and there is nothing anyone can do about their past
but they can pick them selves up know and live from
day to day and live for this day now!
Thanks Val for your advise.
Ann
|
| 137.16 | 20 more to go | RSTS32::VERGE | | Fri Nov 20 1987 08:06 | 24 |
| Sorry I haven't answered sooner I have been out of the office.
Yes, it is Physicians' Weight Loss Clinic, and YES, it is expensive,
but for me, IT WORKS! and that's important to me. I go everyday,
and you get weighed in, and they (There are several nurses) talk
to you and give you lots of support, and answer all my (sometimes
silly) questions. And they do have a cookbook which is a help because
some of the restrictions make life a little boring - which actually
helps, because with no sugars you get no sugar cravings, and with
a limited number of things to eat, if you get bored with the foods,
you have less of a tendency to eat instead of doing something.
During stabilization and maintenance, you do get to add the other
foods back into your diet, so they don't expect you to live forever
on alimited plan, which makes it more acceptable to me. I hope
to get to gaol sometime around Christmas, so in February should
get to Maintenance. I love the support, and weighing in every day
is enough to prevent me from eating something I shouldn't.
It's working for me - and I average 3 pounds a week loss, and when
you see it come off every day (for the most part - the scale measures
in 10ths of pounds) it sure is an incentive. Let me know what you
decide, and if you want to send mail, or whatever,feel free!
Val
|
| 137.17 | Just for the asking | NHL::ARNO | Smile for Giggles | Wed Mar 02 1988 05:57 | 24 |
|
I was wondering how you felt.. Like when a person loses 1/2 of a
pound or a pound.. Some people say ghee that's great and others
say is that all well you'll do better...
How do you feel when you lost a little do you feel like I'll
do better next time or do you feel good?
I want to feel good about it sometimes but sometimes I feel about
the same if I stay the same or gained alittle..
Like no big deal...
But then if you are going in the right direction then it is good
right?
Ann
|
| 137.18 | Slow week this week = Big week next week | STAR::YANKOWSKAS | Who's bad? | Wed Mar 02 1988 06:37 | 22 |
| re .17:
> How do you feel when you lost a little do you feel like I'll
> do better next time or do you feel good?
> I want to feel good about it sometimes but sometimes I feel about
> the same if I stay the same or gained alittle..
> Like no big deal...
For what it's worth: during my weightloss program, I found that
just about all the weeks where I stayed the same or had a slight
gain were followed by weeks where I had a greater than usual loss.
Several other people I know experienced the same thing. The last
thing one wants to hear after such a week is "hang in there and
keep plugging away", but if one does just that, he/she may be in for
a pleasant surprise the following week... :-)
Paul
|
| 137.19 | RE: Feeling Good | SRFSUP::TERASHITA | California Native | Wed Mar 02 1988 12:33 | 9 |
| re .17
I feel that any week I do not gain...whether I show a loss or merely
maintain...is good.
I have to take my victories where I find them.
Lynn
|
| 137.20 | add your .02 worth | NHL::ARNO | Smile for Giggles | Tue Mar 15 1988 05:17 | 17 |
|
I was wondering how some of you felt .. Like they tell us in
Weight Watchers to lose the weight only for ourselves..
Or change your words from I can't to I can..
Do any of you find this change hard ? Did all those who lost
all there weight is this what you did ?
Just asking
Ann
|
| 137.21 | I can and I did :-) | ARGUS::CORWIN | I don't care if I AM a lemming | Tue Mar 15 1988 07:10 | 20 |
| Hi Ann,
Once I started losing weight I had to change my attitude from "I can't" to
"I can" because I could or I wouldn't be able to say now that I did! :-)
The sooner a dieter gets a positive attitude, the better they will feel, and the
faster they'll see results.
When I decided to start losing weight (that time), it took a while before I
stopped monkeying around a really started losing. I think that was the attitude
change. The monkeying around wasn't serious; I'd say I was on a diet but
then eat the wrong kinds of things and say I couldn't do it, why bother trying,
etc, etc. But then I got the right attitude, said to myself I CAN DO IT, and
I DID IT! Yes, you can lose weight. You know how to do it, and you know it
will work. It just takes some time to undo the years of damage, and a lot of
willpower to remember what you're working for and to say no to most of the
myriad temptations that come our way every day.
Jill
|
| 137.22 | | GIAMEM::JLAMOTTE | twenty-eight and counting down | Tue Jan 07 1992 12:34 | 5 |
| When I am eating properly I feel wonderful. I am not tired, I am
energetic, I am happy. I wish I could can the feeling...
I often wonder what devil possesses me to overeat and why I cannot
remember the feelings I am experiencing now.
|