Conference rocks::weight_control

    It'll go bad if SOMEONE doesn't eat it.
    		(a large freezer and collection of freezer bags usually
    		solves this one)
    So and so made it especially for me.
    		(he/she will understand, and is not as good a friend
    		as he/she thinks if he/she refuses to understand)
    I *want* it!
    		(remember "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow", when
    		it'll be hanging around on your waistline...)
    ONE couldn't possibly hurt me, and I'll make up for it tomorrow
    		(and tomorrow you'll have to eat a *negative* number
    		of calories if you keep this up!)
    So and so is eating some, and he/she is so SKINNY
    		(and will he/she remain skinny?  and is he/she YOU?)
    I've been so good (read, deprived), I deserve this
    		(find a diet where you aren't so deprived!)
    
    But, remember, it's OK to go off your weightloss program sometimes.
    Do it without guilt, and without FREQUENCY, and you'll be just fine!
    
    --Louise
    
    
    

Someone originally posted this to a Unix newsgroup;  the excuses are
at the end.

Subject: STRESS DIET :-)

The following diet has been circulated at one of the local
clinics. Some may find it stimulating.

BREAKFAST:
---------
1/2	grapefruit
1	slice whole wheat toast
8 oz	skim milk


LUNCH:
------
4 oz 	lean Broiled chicken breast
1 cup	steamed zucchini
1	Oreo Cookie
	Herb tea

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
___________________
Rest of package of Oreos
1	qt. rocky road ice cream
1	jar hot fudge

DINNER:
-------
2	loaves garlic bread
	large pepperoni & mushroom pizza
	large pitcher beer (any brand - it all comes from
        the same horse, anyway)
3	Milkey Way bars
	Entire Sarah Lee cheesecake - direct from freezer.


				DIET TIPS
				---------
1. If no one sees you eat it --- it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel
   each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if
   you both eat the same amount.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts such as:
   Hot Chocolate, Brandy, Toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
5. If YOU fatten up EVERYONE ELSE around you. -- Then YOU
   look thinner.
6. Movie related foods don't count because they are simply
   part of the entire entertainment experience and not part of
   one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Popcorn with extra
   butter, and Junior Mints.

    re .2:
    
    I'm RRRRROOOOLLLLLLLLLIIIINNNNNGGGG !!  Love it!  Love it!
    Thanks for sharing that with us!
    
    
    Paul (who's had ice cream "to make my sore throat feel better" on
    more than one occasion...)

    
    
    
    *   The candy machine is just too close to my office.
    
    *   I can eat this banana split if I'm working out later.
    
    *   Or, I just worked out so I'll eat the banana split.
    
    *   Prune Juice, will relieve all excess.
    
    *   Its Sat., and I only eat 2 meals;  Its Sun and I only eat two
        meals on Sunday too.
    
    *   Can't turn down Moms cooking, how often do I get to see her?
    
    *   Well I drank 3 tons of water today, it'll float first.
    
    *   I feel like I'm wasting food if I don't eat everything on the
        plate and on the guests plate.
                                     
    *   Well if your gonna put it under my nose whaddya expect me to
        do.
         
    *   Sneaking into the frigerator, just one little piece won't 
        hurt.... 5 mins later, another little piece thats all,
        1hr later, well its finished now... I won't have this problem
        tomorrow.

re .0 (PY)

Gee, Paul, with all those days off, how did you ever reach goal? :-)

A few I didn't see listed:

We were babysitting for a friend's kids (Fri. night/Sat. morning)

We went rollerskating with a friend and her kids  (Sat. afternoon)

Canobie Lake (nope, just kidding, I was very good this time :-))

I just had to finish it so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it...

Jill

    re .5:
    
    >	Gee, Paul, with all those days off, how did you ever reach goal? :-)

      
    None of my wife's third cousins had birthdays between June and 
    October...   :-)
    
    One more excuse for the road -- you've just *gotta* have some beer
    and munchies while watching the World Series...
    
    
    PY

    Everyone knows that what one eats the rest of the day after one
    has weighed in doesn't count... :-).
    
    
    PY

            
    
    
    excuse:  But I thought that eating a grapefruit and a diet pepsi
            after the cake and pie would just counterract everything!!!
    
    
    chris...
    

    My husband and young daughter both had a bad cold with high fever
    last week and I was so worried I ate all the ice-cream and all the
    bread and cheese in the house. Then next day I caught their flu
    and just had to eat my way through everything I had bought to stock
    up the fridge again, because I was feeling so sorry for myself....
    
    To err is human ....
    
    Joana

    I'm not "pigging out" on spaghetti, I'm "carbo loading" for the
    long run I have planned for tomorrow afternoon...  :-)
    
    
    Paul_who's_glad_men_get_4-5_WW_bread_exchanges

    "The medication my doctor perscribed made me nauseous and the only
    thing that I could keep down was crackers."
    
    ...or ice cream.
    
    ...or chicken noodle soup.
    
    ...or anything else not "on plan".
    
    Lynn

    ...and of course, every football fan out there knows that a "Super
    Bowl party" is a perfectly legitimate reason to go off one's weightloss
    program... :-) :-)
       
    
    py

    RE .12
    
    The SUPERBOWL EXCUSE; ah yes!
    
    I've used this excuse many times in the past.  The 1986 varient
    was special, I was at the Superbowl, and at my highest weight.
    A Chicago radio station interviewed me to get the 'New England'
    perspective.  When asked about William 'THE REFRIDGERATOR' Perry,
    I commented that I was from New England where even the fans were
    bigger than the Refridgerator.
                          
    The truth was that I did.  At about 400 pounds I had a good amount
    on him.  Knowing full well that these calories didn't  count I went
    and had another sandwich.  
    
    A mounth and a half later I finally started my diet.
    
    -Joe

    Superbowl Sunday is good, but Valentine's Day is better!
    
    Lynn

    ...and then there's St. Patrick's Day which wouldn't be complete
    without corned beef and cabbage and boiled potatoes and colcannon
    and soda bread and, of course, BEER (green or otherwise).
    
    Lynn

    Stop me if you've heard these:
    
    It's only one day a year.
    
    I'll probably never come to this (fancy) restaurant again.
    
    I'll only take one piece (of candy).
    
    I thought champagne was low in calories.
    
    It's a special occasion.
    
    I've been good all week [day...year], I deserve it.
    
    Lynn

    Since I'm giving blood tonight, I have every reason in the world
    to pig out all day today... :-)
    
    
    Paul

    But, I'm drinking a DIET coke with my candy bar!!
    
    New Years, Valentines, Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor
    Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas ONLY come once a year (plus all
    the birthday's, Mothers day, Fathers Day, etc in between)!!
    
    

    I'm baking my father-in-law's favorite cake for Father's Day.
    
    (And it just happens to be my favorite, too!)
    
    Lynn
    :-)

    I came up with this regarding the box of Godiva chocolates we received
    as a Christmas present:
    
    "Stephen, this stuff is *bad* for us.  The sooner it's gone, the
    better off we'll be!!!!"
    
    							Pat
    
    							(^;

    You just *have* to have pizza and beer with a football game...right?
    
    Lynn T.
    

re .20

How about "But, Godiva is owned by Campbell Soup, so that takes the romance
out of this chocolate!!"

    My husband just told me that we need to talk about my weight when
    I get home tonite... He explained he is not angry but is worried about
    my getting pregnant...I am stubborn... I like to do things on my
    own...no pressure... Am I being childish ?  
    
    Carol

    Certainly sounds like an immature approach.
    
    Also sounds like you're trying to ignore the problem and hoping it'll
    go away.
    
    Good luck.
    
    - ���

    
    Carol
    
    I have a friend who is very overweight (80lbs easy). She is only
    28 yrs old and she and her husband are wanting to have a child.
    Her husband went to the local hospital and got on the info on a
    class they have on weightloss. She got very upset with him and
    would not consider the idea. My point is: She too says she doesn't
    like the idea of being in a group. I tried to get her to attend
    OA meetings with me and to go to weight watchers. She said no to
    both, she wanted to do it on her own. That was over two years ago
    and she has not dropped one pound and has probably put a few on.
    The sad fact is: Her husband loves her so much that he never brings
    the subject up for fear of hurting her feelings.
    Some people can do it on their own but I think most of us need the
    help and support of friends, families and specialized people.
    
    Good luck