Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    Going outside the HMO health plan. She is poopie outta luck! Less she
    has a referal. And the bandaids and aspern. If she is charging you for
    a full bottle, then have fun with taking out a percentage of it for
    the child. Case in point, If the ex has a beau, the child, and other
    children and herself. Or lets say out of a house hold of 4, your
    responsible for 1 then pay the witch 1/4 of what she has asked for vs
    1/2.:) And yes, its over done, but, prepairing yourself for the worse
    is always the best case. I would fight it toooth and nail but, hells
    bells... go into the court room and shoot craps with the judge/marrital
    master to get a fair and just divorce or settlement.:(
    
    

    	Those are considered uninsured medical expenses, and if the decree
    says they'll split the cost of those, he's probably obliged to pay.
    Most people, I think, are more relaxed as you are about this. My ex
    usually just picks up the tab, figuring that's what child support is
    for, but if I happen to have the kids when they're sick, then I pick up
    the tab (which is far less often). She's never complained or said a
    word about it...but it wouldn't surprise me that much if she suddenly
    did the same thing with the receipts a few years from now. That would
    be a bummer!

    WOW!  There's something I never thought of!  And I'm so glad I
    didn't!  I don't think I'd have a lot of respect for myself if
    I did.  I would consider all of that part of the support.  Just
    like her medical coverage is paid for by me.  That's part of the
    support.  
    
    Initially, I did ask that he split the cost of big ticket items,
    like we needed a car seat.  He did split that with me.  Since then,
    I haven't asked for anything beyond the support.  All her yard
    things, slides, sandbox, etc...that have cost me a fortune, I never
    even mention.  I figure it's my choice to get them for her.  
    
    He (the NCP) on the other hand, balked when I told him he had to
    buy diapers to keep at his house for her.  He wanted to take it out
    of her support.  Six dollars he didn't even want to shell out.  He
    did back off though, and keeps his own stock now.
    
    I think I would expect help though if we had to do something major
    that insurance wouldn't entirely cover.  I do have all my receipts
    though for every thing I have ever bought her.  Mainly because he
    keeps insisting he's paying my car payment and rent, etc..  I guess
    he thinks it doesn't cost anything to raise a child.   But I had a
    great accounting when his lawyer asked for an idea of my expenses.
    
    							cj *->
    
    

    Medical expenses are those incurred as a result of visiting a
    doctor/dentist or whatever (their fees and what they prescribe).
    
    Mostly you can expect something to the effect that the CP will cover the 
    first $100 of uninsured costs each year and after that it's shared.
    
    For treatment that is considered non-essential, e.g. orthodontic work, then
    the CP and NCP have to work it out BEFORE the cost is incurred. If 
    treatment outside the medical plan is anticipated then the CP and NCP 
    have to work it out BEFORE the cost is incurred. I hope this is in the 
    agreement otherwise you have written a blank check.
    
    Stuff off the shelf at the supermarket or drug store is a try on and 
    won't get far in a court room (at lawyers fees of $100+ per hour who can 
    afford to argue over this anyway).
    
    Digging up receipts from 3 years back is unreasonable and the judge
    won't want to hear about the children's scrapped knee in 1993. 
    
    Now back to earth - right or wrong the money was spent. Your biggest
    problem seems that you don't have anything in the current agreement to
    address this. I suggest that you set up very clear rules of engagement 
    for the future to avoid more disputes. Then negotiate your best deal.
    
    Martin