| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 359.1 | Share the experience with your child | QUOKKA::40206::MACMILLAN | My future's so bright I gotta wear shades! | Mon Sep 18 1995 08:15 | 23 |
| I believe that it is best if you help the children with gifts for the
ex. The reason is because you may no longer have any feelings or
relationship with your ex your child does! The gift is a way of the
child expressing themselves and letting the recipient know that they
were thought of on a particular occasion. I'm not saying you should
spend large sums of money but; it still is the thought that counts. How
would you feel if you were neglected the opportunity to receive a gift
from your child on your birthday? My children are older so I plan a time
when I can take them shopping and let them pick the gift they want to
give to their mother. I let them know up front how much I'll give them
to spend. It really is a way to share something important with your kids
not your ex. And they won't feel empty when they have nothing to give.
As far as gifts for the grandparents, you should speak with your ex to
work out an arrangement so you both have this opportunity to share with
your child. I shop with my kids for my parents and my ex shops with the
kids for hers. It works very good for us.
Hope this helps.
Phil
|
| 359.2 | Not much sharing here now. | QUOKKA::15838::JACQUES_CA | Crazy ways are evident | Mon Sep 18 1995 09:06 | 17 |
| My daughter is just a year old. Last November was her father's
b-day, he got a card and gift from her. Christmas, he got a
card and gift from her. Valentine's day, he got a card from her.
Mommy has got nothing but grief. He did not get a father's day
card from her, and go fry an egg for Christmas. It is not just
because I've been neglected, it's because I no longer feel he
deserves any special attention until she has an idea of what is
going on.
At that point in time I will have "buck up" and help her participate
in getting things for DAddy. I'm thinking on just helping her make
cards though until she specifically asks to buy something.
Toward his family....I feel it's his responsibility to represent her.
I don't expect him to acknowledge mine, and he doesn't.
cj *->
|
| 359.3 | We always give gifts to the X from the kids!!! | MROA::DUPUIS | | Mon Sep 18 1995 11:29 | 23 |
| My x has always received something from the girls for Father's Day,
Birthday and Christmas. Usually a shirt, sweater, gift certificate to
an automotive store I know he goes to (he's a motor head) etc. I have
also done framed pictures of the girls (that was for Father's Day) in a
frame that the girls recorded a message.
As far as gifts for his side of the family -- that's up to him. Once I
bought something I KNEW his stepmother would like, he called and gave
me a lot of grief, so I no longer do that.
I occasionaly get a gift from the girls (that they have picked out with
him) usually something inappropriate -- a BIG bow barrette (my hair was
really short), but I tell the girls I love it anyway. Since we have
been living with my boyfriend, he always takes the girls shopping
before any occasion and I get some really great gifts now.
I do the same for my boyfriend, every occasion is marked with a gift
and card from me, and something from the girls and his son.
His x is always remembered too, although there are occasions she
doesn't bother to remember him.
Roberta
|
| 359.4 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Saddle Rozinante | Mon Sep 18 1995 13:56 | 17 |
|
I did get a letter from each of the kids for my birthday one year while
they were living with their mother. I found out the hard way not to
send money and a card. Even though money does travel well and kids
seem to enjoy the spending as much as anything. Then I got ripped by
my kids one visit as to why all I sent was a card and no present for
their occasions.
Now that the kids are living with me the kids _may_ get a phone call
for their birthday. Come Christmas time they usually get a phone call
explaining how pitiful and pour she is again this year. Even so,
the kids will usually pool their resources and send her something.
Sorry to be so negative on this one, but this is a subject that really
does hit an emotional hot-button.
fred();
|
| 359.5 | children need encouragement to remember. | QUOKKA::17576::PERRY_W | | Sun Sep 24 1995 09:24 | 13 |
| I have almost always helped the children buy a card/present for the
former wife. I think children need to be encouraged to remember
holidays, birthdays etc. I get along with my ex-laws very well
so I try to remember them too and encourage the children to remember.
They are very good people.
I think my ex is the same way because I receive cards most of the time.
How well you get along with the ex-laws determines whether you
send cards. As time goes by the animosity of a divorce diminishes
(for most) so remembering those important times is easier.
Bill
|