Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    Best is to contact an attorney in FLordia and find out what the 
    local laws are. They will vary from state to state. Also, there
    is a refernce libary at your local superior court house, if your with
    in local driving distance to look it up.
    
    Usually, it is upon the 18th birthday or until the child finishs high
    school. Then after that. He/she is on their own. Unless there is
    in the final decree some place a clause that spells out the 'Therfor's'
    to carry on with an extended program.
    
    

    Thanks for replying. Let me rephrase one aspect of this. Let's
    say I was legally obligated to make payments until high school
    graduation. Once my son has reached the legal age of majority,
    why would I write the check out to his mother instead of to him?
    He would be a legal adult. 
    

    You can write a check to him, unless the laws of the land in Florida 
    state otherwise. And/or if his primary residence states that he is
    living with his mom during school breaks, vacations, or etc. Then its a
    gray area. But,(!!!!) If he gets a Post office box, or changes 
    residency to rezide (sp) with you, then it makes it more of a clear 
    cut deal. He would have to establish, clearly, beyond reason of doubt, 
    his own residency. When dealing with a state other than New Hampshire,
    its a tuff one to generalize or guess-ta-mate with. 
    
    Laws like this are changing daily, it becomse a quagmire very easily, 

    
    Depends on what the court orders say and where the jurisdiction of the
    divorce/support is.  You may be obligated to pay through college if
    the support orders are several years old.  Many states have changed
    this in the last few years.  Also if the support orders say that you 
    must pay to her, then you must pay to her until the orders are changed.
    
    However, if there is something in the court orders that say that the 
    support automatically ends at a certain time (18th birthday, graduation, 
    etc) then the *official* support has ended.  You can continue sending 
    him money directly to him if you want since it is no longer "child
    support" but just a gift from you to him.  Also Child support is not tax
    deductible (in most cases), but gifts to your children  up to a certain 
    amount are.

    fred();

    In New Hampshire, there now will exist very shortly, a law that you,
    the NCP, will pay for college tuition. Visitational rights are still at
    the bottom of the stack. You, like many other NCP men, may pay child
    support and alimoney for many years, but never see nor hold the
    children that you to helped bring into this world. 

    I am in the same situation as the basenoter;  My 19yr old son has 
    just completed high school and my CS will be over fairly soon.
    He lives in another state because of a  Custodial parent move.
    As far as I know there are no laws other than the Divorce document
    obligating me to continue CS payments. In my case I am not obligated 
    to continue CS.  I will volunteer to pay his Medical Ins for awhile
    till he has coverage but no CS.  If I do agree to pay anything to
    my 19yr old it will go directly to him and not through his mother.
    If I still have a job I plan to help him thru college. 
        For what it's worth!!
                                                 Bill 
    

    For some of us, college, was something that if you wanted, you go help
    yourself. There was no programs like this. I want to send my daughter
    to college too. But for the NCP's who barely make ends meet. Even a
    state college or a comunity college seems like a priced out of the
    market.
    
    In lew of the fact that visitational rights are the low on the priorty,
    it seems like this new State law is another burden on the backs of many
    that barely can afford a roof over thier own heads.

    
In my divorce agreement, there is no wording at all that discusses
when child support should end. My son is referred to as "the minor child"
throughout the document (this was in Massachusetts). In Florida, where
they currently reside, child support ends at age of majority.

There is no mention of college costs, and though I put myself through college,
it is something I personally want to help my son with (it is something I can
afford).

The reason I am trying to emphasize the point, "who to write the check to",
is that if it is to the -ex, my son will be lucky to see a dime of it.

Why should an 18 year old adult be deprived of money he/she could spend
on college, and instead have this money go to another adult who uses it
for his/her own expenses (because that person will not work, for example).
It seems that the 18 year old adult is wronged here.

    
    I hate being the barer of bad tidings, but...

>In my divorce agreement, there is no wording at all that discusses
>when child support should end. My son is referred to as "the minor child"
>throughout the document (this was in Massachusetts). In Florida, where
>they currently reside, child support ends at age of majority.

    If the divorce/custody order is in Mass., then it is covered by the
    laws of Mass.  Not Florida.  You will have to find out if there is
    any laws covering automatic cutoff in Mass.  Otherwise, you will have
    to go into court and get the support ended.  Don't be surprised if
    they say, "Oh by the way, what about college"?

    If you have to continue the "child support", try to get it modified 
    to go directly to your son.  

>Why should an 18 year old adult be deprived of money he/she could spend
>on college, and instead have this money go to another adult who uses it
>for his/her own expenses (because that person will not work, for example).
>It seems that the 18 year old adult is wronged here.

    Because she is his dear, sweet, loving, mother who could not possibly
    do anything to short change or harm her son in any way. 8^{.

fred();

    Being sweet mom, I know a guy who set his daughter up with an
    inheratance of $60K. And when the divorce hit the floor boards the ex
    became the trustee of the loot. Welp.... deear momma squandered it, and
    now his daughter is, like many of us, pumping gas, and flipping burgers
    going to a state college, like many of us. 

You might try this: I created a checking account in my daughter's name and will
have an agreed sum direct deposited to it each week.

My daughter is graduating HS this week and will start college in the fall.
My ex and I agreed to split her tuition and expenses 50/50. So we worked out an
amount and that's what will go in each week. My daughter will have full access
and I will get a copy of the balance statement each month. Of course my daughter
is very responsible and somewhat frugal, so I feel I can trust her with the
check book. That might not work for some kids!

I feel better because I'm not writing my ex's name on a check each week and she
feels good about it because I agreed to a reasonable amount and will have it
direct deposited. 

I do feel it should be between the non-custodial parent and the Child after 18,
but the way the lawyers write it up, they keep you connected to your ex until
the child is 23. I found it's better to accept it and negotiate in good faith
for the child's welfare than to keep stewing about the raw deal divorce usually
deals the NC parent.

Good luck,
Skip

    Does your seperation agreement stipulate child support timing?  I was
    ordered to pay child support until the children are 18 *and* out of
    highschool, not *or*.  My oldest daughter graduated last friday and her
    child support ended (she is 18).  She moved to Florida (lives with her
    mother), but I am acting on the South Carolina court ordered agreement.
    
    I'm not sure about Florida laws, but my S.C. lawyer did tell me that
    once she is a Fla state resident, she could petition the Fla courts for
    changes in child support.....
    
    steve

I made some phone calls to the Florida child support office, and they
insist that in Florida, that unless it is otherwise stated in the
divorce agreement, that child support ends at 18, regardless of
whether high school has been completed or not.

My divorce agreement has no such wording on this subject, but I assume
the -ex could go back to court on this, since my son will still be
in high school when he turns 18. (Again let me state that I don't object
to continuing child support, I object to putting the cash into my ex-wife's
hands). 

Thanks for all the feed back in the replies here, the sharing of information
is very helpful. Sounds like I should get some legal advice since this
issue is only a year away for me. As someone mentioned, there may be
implications of support through high school since the agreement was in
Massachusetts.

    RE: last few....
    
    I forgot to mention.  My oldest daughter moved to Florida to live with
    relatives and finish high school.  She was getting trouble with a bad
    peer group and not getting along with her mother and moving to live
    with me didn't happen (long painful story).  Anyway, I sent all of her
    child support to the household where she was living, NOT to her mother. 
    Her mother (aka plaintiff) insisted that I send the $ to her, but I
    refused under may lawyer's advice.  Nothing ever came of it......
    
    My ex and youngest daughter have sinced moved to Fla and they all three
    live together agian, nut the oldest is graduated and child support has
    ended as stated earlier...
    
    good luck!
    
    steve

    
    re .14
    
    In Colorado, I know, and in most states under URESA, I believe, there
    is a clause in the Child Support laws that say the child must be 
    living with parent in order for the parent to collect support.  If
    the child moves out of the home for whatever reason, then the CS
    goes with them. 
    
    fred();

    This must not apply in Mass.  In cases where the child or children
    actually change residences from the mother to the father on a permanent
    basis, the Child Support is supposed to continue to go to the mother
    until such time as it is brought to court and the judge decides to
    change the support.  If the judge decides he wants the mother to still
    get the support even though one of more or even all of the kids reside
    with dad, then the father is still responsible to pay her the CS......
    Getting these things into court in Mass can take upwards of a year with
    the present backlog and bs the court system pulls, and the CS continues
    to accumulate and must be paid in the mean time.  
    
    In cases of split custody of the children the judges very seldom seem
    to split the child support and give the father back any, they leave the
    mother with the original amount, no matter how ridiculously high it was
    set to begin with, at best they will give back $40. per week of a $300
    per week amount and call it good!
    
    There are also strange rules in Mass about children moving away from
    home to attend college etc., even though they are living away from
    home, the mother is still supposed to get CS in most cases.
    
    The peoples republic.
    
    FWIW

re: .-1

That's incredible.

tim