| Title: | Welcome to the Non-Custodial Parents Conference |
| Notice: | Please read 1.* before writing anything |
| Moderator: | MIASYS::HETRICK |
| Created: | Sun Feb 25 1990 |
| Last Modified: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 420 |
| Total number of notes: | 4370 |
I will attempt to make this as brief as possible. My ex has stood up my children for visitation four times in the last four months. They received a call at 6:35 a.m. Friday morning to tell them they would not be picked up. As the reason was to visit an aunt in New Jersey who hasn't been seen in ten years. The last two times it was 5 p.m. before the 6:00 p.m. scheduled visitation. The legal agreement states that there must be a one week notification of any changes in visitation, which must be documented. This has never been done. The children are extremely happy when they are snubbed on visitation. They have become accustomed to this type of treatment. I have documented these violations in letters, but get the letters returned with "return to sender" scratched across the letter front. Speaking with the individual is like talking to a telephone answering machine message, a continual message of why there is no response needed. The one which always fries me is "this is masschusetts, they won't do anything to me." The lawyer I used doesn't return phone calls. His subtle message when I informed him my daughter ended up in the local police station becuase of the abuse during visitation was to send me a copy of the money due me. I am starting to work with a member of this conference to start litigiation again. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Ken
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 261.1 | keep on keepin' on | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Tue Apr 27 1993 09:27 | 36 |
The most important thing to remember is that just because it didn't
work out one time, don't quit trying. This is the part I hate most
about divorce. A _lot_ of people think that divorce will end the
b.s. and life will be so much happier after the s.o.b or b**ch is
outa'here. SURPRISE! (The last part is not intended to be pointed
at you, but as a general observation). The b.s. is not likely to
end any time soon. You just have to keep plugging along.
Re: the abuse:
I think that this is the most important part here. Just because
they didn't bring charges once don't stop. If you notice any
abuse again, report it again. Sooner or later she'll get tired
of being hastled by the cops, or the cops will start to see a
pattern and do something about it.
re: documentation:
Don't stop trying. If it goes into court and you have all those
letters where you _tried_ to work things out, and the letters
were marked "return to sender" after they were sent to what is
indeed her address, it won't look good on her part. Document any
and all conversations and what happens.
Re: visitation:
I don't think that there is any law that says that the NCP _has_ to
take visitation, but document what happens so that there won't be
any chance that she can come back and claim that _you_ are denying
_her_ access. If she is as abusive as you say, I'd be _glad_ she
isn't taking visitation. The disruption of your plans is the worst
part. If she is refusing to see the children and refusing to cooperate
in making plans, the most that you can probably hope for is to cut
back the visitation times so that your plans don't get disrupted as
often. The real losers here are the kids, but then again, if she
_is_ abusive, maybe not.
Good luck in court.
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| 261.2 | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Tue Apr 27 1993 12:07 | 9 | |
There is another read-only person out there who is a male CP. He has an
18 month old. The ex refuses to see the child, and has since 6 months
old and the divorce. There is this unwritten law that ncp's are to see
the children on their visitation time. And this isn't so. NCP's do not
have to see their children if they dont want to. What will happen to
these ncp folks is that they will live a very lonely life for these
children do grow up to adults and will always remember their parents
and may refuse to talk to them (ncp). If this ncp person likes the
holidays alone, and other times, thats fine. Good luck.
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| 261.3 | Q's | PCCAD::DINGELDEIN | PHOENIX | Wed Apr 28 1993 09:33 | 5 |
HI KEN,
What would you like to accomplish? Do you want her to relinquish her
parental rights, remove her visitation or have it minimized?
Dan D
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| 261.4 | Are you considering Legal Malpractice? | CSC32::K_HYDE | Yes, we do windows -- CX03-2/J4 592-4181 | Wed Apr 28 1993 22:31 | 12 |
Re: .0
The lawyer I used doesn't return phone calls. His subtle message
when I informed him my daughter ended up in the local police
station becuase of the abuse during visitation was to send me a
copy of the money due me.
>> Did the lawyer's bill specifically tie his fees to this event? Is
>> the abuse documented and has he done nothing?
Kurt
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