| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 260.1 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Mon Apr 19 1993 10:13 | 11 |
|
Probably the worst thing that you can do to Stacy right now is to make
a big deal out of it. What's that old saying about a rose by any other
name...? If Stacy asks you about it, then explain the situation to
her as simply and straight forward as you can, but telling her she
is 'special' because of certain circumstance may likely damage your
credibility in the long run. Soon enough Stacy is going to grow
up and find out the truth of the matter. Just make sure that
you are not the one that she decides has been telling tales.
fred();
|
| 260.2 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Apr 19 1993 13:13 | 3 |
| Legally, there is nothing you can say to Lynn. Execpt plead your case
for the benifit of the child.
|
| 260.3 | Be a parent | CSC32::K_HYDE | Yes, we do windows -- CX03-2/J4 592-4181 | Wed Apr 28 1993 22:24 | 24 |
| This sounds like a very insecure kid. The cause is likely in the
instability. What this kid needs is love. When I first got custody,
my daughter had a milder case of this. In her case, spending lots of
time doing things with her (playing board games, reading, talking,
playing the guitar & singing family songs, reviewing the happiest
experiences of the day before I helped her say her prayers) and she
improved greatly in about a year to 2 years. They never get over it
completely. The adversarial nature of the court and the loss of a
parent leave permanent scars.
I'd stay away from counselors, unless they're inexpensive. I was told
once by a religious counselor that, in her opiinion, the more expensive
the counselor -- the worst they are. I believe her.
Contact Focus On The Family in Colorado Springs, CO. They're a
non-profit group that has a great selection of materials for all family
situations.
I don't think this kid is calling anyone "Mommy" or "Daddy". It looks
like this kid is searching for a definition and an example of each.
I'd get down on the living room floor and be a parent.
Kurt
|
| 260.4 | this stuff tugs at the heart strings.... | FSLLC::FSLLC::HAMEL | | Thu May 27 1993 14:48 | 22 |
| I'm recently divorced(one month, yea!!) and have joint legal custody with a
fairly liberal visitation schedule. I have a son(7) and a daugther(4) that spend
a lot of time with me and my fiance(sp) that has two daugthers(4 and 7). My kids
see and hear her daugthers calling me dad and being a family. I can see it
affecting them as it happens and make ever attempt to make them feel like they
still belong. They recently asked their mother if she would mind if they refered
my fiance as "mom" since her kids called my daddy. I believe that the kids should
be left alone to make up their own minds what to call these "new" people in
their lives. It's kind of ironic though, because when I think of my son, who
happens to be my best friend in the world, calling my exwifes boyfreind "dad" it
makes my blood boil. I guess it something that we will all have to learn to
deal with over time, but the most important thing to remember is that the kids
have to come first. We as parents must make ever attempt to isolate them from
the fighting and make them know that they are loved for who they are, not who
they belong to or live with.
As for you husbands ex(whatever) sounds like a mean spirited little SOB, in a
situation like yours I'd continue to be a loving parent, an know that "someday"
will come when they realize what's be going on then she will have to deal with
the results, not you!
Best wishes and keep loving those kids, Bob
|