Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

253.0. "potential new NCP seeks advice" by JUPITR::BROWER () Mon Mar 01 1993 20:08

         Well I'm in the beginning stages of a divorce I hope won't happen.
    I talked to a lawyer at great length today and he did a good job of
    answering my questions. I'm also open to more suggestions here. I live
    in Mass. and as a man he felt I had a 35% chance of getting custody.
    This being due to health problems my wife has. My wife had papers
    drawn up for a no-fault divorce with me shelling out $475/week for
    our 3 kids. I hadn't signed any of my wifes papers so I'm not in
    any way obligated for that amount. My lawyer said that the most she
    could get for our 3 kids is $344/week. I plan on attending a DAD's
    meeting this thursday and would welcome any suggestions from NCP's
    out there. Like best custodial options Joint Physical or Legal.
    How others divied up assets etc. I'm hoping I'll not have to go through
    this but am getting prepared. FWIW I work a goofy shift sat-mon 7PM-7AM
    and my lawyer had a real problem with this. The wife works PT 2nd shift
    on weekdays which I feel would allow me access to my children during
    the week as well as saturdays. He felt getting a job with normal hours
    would be a good option?? I countered that during summer months I could
    do things with the kids every day of the week almost. Also if something
    comes up at school I'll be close by. comments and suggestion are
    welcome.
    
            Bob

    Looks like you are on the right track.  Strongly suggest contacting
    a father's rights group.  As bad as I hate politics, I don't think
    men are going to make much of a dent in the bull***t until they
    ban together in a force that has some political clout.  A support
    group at this time will also let you know what your rights are and
    that you are not alone as you go through the trials to come.

    Browse through some of the notes in this conference.  Many of them
    aren't pretty, but it will give you an idea what you are up against.

    On thing to remember always.  The court is not interested in what
    you think.  The court is not interested in what you know.  The
    court is interested in what you can _prove_ with cold, hard evidence
    and testimony.  So as I've said before document, document, document.  
    Especially things that will show the court the stuff you do with/for 
    the kids to show the court that your are being and are capable of 
    being a parent to the children, even if your wife is no longer around.
    It may be the best evidence you have in court.  

    fred();

    Based upon info you have talked about, mental cruelty, and adultry are
    the grounds you should be filing. No fault is going to give you the
    worst case of poverty, heart burn, and down right depression. It is a
    test of will, economics, and truths. Truth being the most fleeting
    element of them all.