Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    Hi,
    
    I have been read only for a long time and have been waiting for a note
    like this. I am a custodial parent married to a non_custodial parent.
    For two years my new husband has support not only his own child, but
    has helped support my two children. I have recieved next to nothing in
    the way of child support and have had a very hard time raising to
    teenage girls on my own. Recently, my husband was hurt and was out of
    work for almost four months, being self employed there was only one
    salary and not enough left to pay child support. We have tried to get
    caught up, but in the mean time his ex has filed for arrearages and as
    he was unable to attend the hearing there is now a bench warrant for
    his arrest with a minimum of 10 days in jail and full payment on
    arrearages. In the meantime my ex is remarried and has two new children
    of his own and pays NO CHILD SUPPORT and there is nothing I can do
    because I'm in Georgia and he is in Vermont. YES I"M READY, ready to
    help put and end to the unfair treatment of child support. I have been
    told that if we move to a different state my husband will not have to
    face the harsh penalties of living in the state of his divorce. There
    is something really wrong with this system. My husband has not seen his
    own child in 3 years, doesn't even know where he is and ends up with
    the financial burden of my children who haven't seen thier Dad in three
    years not because they haven't wanted to just simply because he says
    it's to painful for him so he ignores them. Sorry if I have run on, but
    this subject hits me from both sides!. Yes if there is anything I can
    do let me know. Right now I am counting the days until July 21st, that
    is when we go to court with a new lawyer, and hope to get my husband
    out of this mess and find out where his son is so we can have
    visitation.
    
    ...Pat

Pat,
	thanks for your note.  First let me state that I am a receiver of support
and my hubby gives out support so we deal with both sides of the issues.

Our first agenda is to try to change the laws back to pre-1984 when child-
support was a tax deduction for the non-custodial parent.  The custodial parent
had to claim the income but was also entitled to take the children as deductions.
Hubby and I both feel very strongly that more non-custodial parents would pay
their support.
Second is to deal with the amount.  Here in Mass it is the current guideline for
the non-cust to pay 30% of gross, which to us is outrageous.  Secondly, when
there is more than one child involved and one turns 18 or finishes college the
payments are reduced only by 3%.  Also outrageous in our opinion.
Third agenda we have is the fact that the non-cust is at times 'forced' to pay
 for college.  In a case in Worcester the non-cust had to liquidate their
IRA's to pay for this.  We find this just unacceptable. 
Lastly is something that might be just an issue for my family.  At any point in
time the custodial parent can take the non-cust to court for more money.  This 
has prevented my hubby from starting his own business since the ex could (and
would) take him back to court if he was successful.  We dont agree with this
either. He has a new life with me and if a result of that is to better himself
financially there should be no threat of being taken back to court.  
But there is!!.....
I hope we can find a group that is dealing with the issues above.

I will post any information that I receive.

Regards, Judy

	There is a listing of Parent's Groups in NOTE 157.24, which lists
	the Mass area groups.

	There is another national group call FREE, they have coordinator
	in every State, and they are starting to gain momentum.

	Th	  The gentleman who was on t.v. for the National Organization 
	of MEN, I have written to the station asking for both a 
	transcript and an address, since there was non posted.

	

    I know of a couple who are filing bankruptcy. To keep things streight,
    Lets call them John and Jane. John was married before, has an ex, two
    lovely children. Jane also was married prior. Jane owns a beuty parlor,
    John is a sales rep. 
    
    John pays alimony/maintence and child suport to an able body ex who
    is very capable. John, at present works for free. All of Johns pay
    goes to suporting the ex, his former marrital home, and child suport.
    The combined income, Not the individual income of John, was calculated
    into the payment. This is certainly wrong. JANE will loose her
    business. The able body ex has the Court system in her corner and
    there is no solution for Jane and John who are in deep financial
    troubles. John is trying now to catch up, he too has a bench warnt
    in motion. John has to suport his step children from Janes former
    Marraiage. What is the fair and just solution here? Force John to
    run? And be hunted down as a deadbeat dad? Throw that rastus John
    in Jail cause the court is taking BOTH incomes? No way can we
    ask Johns ex to take a job? No way can the courts to put their egos
    in check and say that they made a mistake? 

    I've been reading through all the notes about these issues for months
    now and there are many folks pissed off, frustrated, angry and just
    basically being miserable about this whole buisness, especially me.
    DAMAGE CONTROL! That's all that's left for anyone to do, for the
    moment anyway. I'm floundering around trying to figure out what I can
    do short of beating my head against the wall. 
    
    A few thoughts and possible directions.
    
    There seems to be a focused effort on the political front to go after
    fathers to pay for AFDC. BAD NEWS! the Weld administration is eyeing
    this "revenue enhancement" and any non-custodial parent should batton
    down the hatches cause it can potentially make things worse, if thats
    possible.
    The history of the child support laws, as i see it, is to make sure
    "persons" with kids don't line up at the welfare office but plug into
    someone elses income. And it seems the 1/3 more men make in society is
    being shifted through probate to custodial moms. i guess the point I'm
    trying to make is a certain special interest group has their hands
    around the state legislatures "comnnolas" and has squeezed pretty hard
    at the right times to get the system so far out of balance.
    The only solution is a political one. there has to be a focused effort.
    There are numerous fathers rights groups but no single group has the
    resources or numbers to get the laymakers attention. Step number one is
    to get organizers of these splinter groups together and form a
    consortium. each group has a charter and i feel there is enough
    commonality amoungst them to easily form consensus. after that the sky
    is the limit. time is short and if something meaningful doesn't get
    moving it's gonna get a lot worse and more difficult to fix. The
    million dollar question is "how to get together". I'LL HELP!!!
    
    				dan d
     

    There are many fathers of children of AFDC, vs the rest of us, the
    working class. I think that we should have THESE men on the hunted
    list. And tell the women who refuse to tell who the father is that
    there is no support unless you give us the name. I have had several
    tenants of such nature, and/or the laws governing would not go after
    these men because it would be too much work. Vs going after men and
    women who are working at the Digitals, Wangs, Lockheed, etc.

    
    
    A more recent horror story to tell:

    A local man who is a disabled vet, receives $1800 per month. Has
    CUSTODY of his daughter. And the local courts in Keene N.H. have
    awarded MAINTENCE/ALIMONY to his ex................ I simply don't
    understand this at all.