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Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

Title:Welcome to the Non-Custodial Parents Conference
Notice:Please read 1.* before writing anything
Moderator:MIASYS::HETRICK
Created:Sun Feb 25 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:420
Total number of notes:4370

98.0. "SOUND OFF!!!!!" by CONURE::MARTIN (White Camaro?--AHAHAHAHAHAH) Thu Nov 01 1990 11:38

    OK Folks.  This is it.  This is the official NCP SOUND OFF NOTE!
    
    Guidelines are as follows;
    
    All persons, NCP'S as well as CP's, are welcome to come to this note and
    scream their heads off at what has made them angry.  Of course, there
    ARE a couple of rules that one must follow....
    
    A note entered here is not to be challenged by any of the other noters.
    IF someone has a problem with something that was said, we recommend
    that you take it up with the author first, and then the MODS if you are
    not satisfied with the outcome.  Of course, if notes are written like
    below, the need for anyone to contact anyone else shall be a moot
    point.
    
    Also, if you wish to show support or just say, "hey, I know what you
    mean pal" you can do that too!  The following note, "SOUND OFF SUPPORT 
    NOTE" has been created just for that purpose.
    
    A note written here must not break the standard rules for noting.
    
    a note like "that god (*^&&^ &(*&( &(**& &(*& & did the same god
    (*^^&^*^(&* to me again!~  I am gonna kill that god ^*&%*(^%*^(!"
    shall be deleted without notice, so be forewarned.
    
    We would recommend a note like,
    "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  WHY DOES HE/SHE DO
    THIS TO ME!!!!"  I HATE IT WHEN SHE/HE DOES THIS TO ME! 
    
    
    I am sure that many of you have seen the likes of this in other
    conferences.  The "I hate it when..." style of notes is nothing new, so
    I wont take credit for it... unless you ask me to.. :-)
    
    So have at it folks
    
    The Mods
    
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98.1SQM::MACDONALDWed Oct 31 1990 06:4829
    
    OK, here goes.
    
    BIG G******** FLAME!!!!
    
    It really p***** me off to pay $237 a week support to my ex,
    provide all the need insurance for her and the kiddos, pay her
    $100 a month alimony, pay %75 of the cost of my son's braces,
    see her buy a brandy-spanking-new VW Golf last week when I'm
    driving a '78 Ford, AND have my daughter call me two nights back
    asking about taking lessons on the saxophone rooting around for
    some money to pay for it!  It isn't my daughter that I'm angry
    with. She's only ten and being placed in the middle, and I think
    taking up an instrument is a good thing for her to do.
    
    WHEN IS THIS WOMAN GOING TO START TAKING SOME RESPONSIBILITY!!! SHE
    THINKS THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS MARRIED TO ME THAT I SOMEHOW OWE HER
    FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!  WHEN I MET HER SHE WAS A BANK TELLER
    LIVING WITH MOM AND DAD, HAD NOTHING TO HER NAME BUT A FIVE YEAR OLD
    FORD PINTO AND NOW SHE OWNS THE HOUSE VALUED AT $115K WITH ONLY A $42K
    MORTGAGE, ONLY OWES ME $2OK FROM THAT, AND HAS PART OF MY SAVE
    PLAN AS WELL AS THE MONTHLY TAX-FREE SUPPORT AND ALIMONY FROM ME!!!
    
    FLAME off....
    
    When does it end?
    
    Steve
    
98.2emotional roller-coastersFSTVAX::BEANAttila the Hun was a LIBERAL!Wed Oct 31 1990 14:5448
    I know a lot of you have horror stories much more severe than my own..
    and i hope this topic doesn't turn into a "can you top this" string.  
    
    I think there is a lot of theraputic value in stating (or as -.1 did,
    in YELLING) our gripe out loud... and I appriciate the chance, so here
    goes:
    
    Just last night my ex (in Texas) called and told me that my son,
    Nicholas, who will be 12 in December, was having a real tough time. 
    Seems he is "failing" several classes (he's always been A/B student)
    and the day before yesterday threw a fit (fit=tantrum) and started
    yelling "I want my daddy!" over and over again.  Then she told me she
    felt the problem that kicked the tantrum off was a letter he'd received
    from me the same day, wherein I mentioned that my wife and I had spent
    the summer building on our home and building a cabin in Vt.  She
    further stated that in his eyes, this meant that I had lots of money
    and why couldn't I visit more often, and why couldn't I send more down
    to help when they needed it...  (why does everything have to revolve
    around money?)
    
    Then, I talked to Nicky and he sobbed and sniffled and finally started
    venting it all.  
    
    I *know* he needs a dad.  I *know* he misses me and doesn't really
    understand (in spite of all my efforts to explain) why I left.  I
    *know* that.  But, what I *don't* know is why his mom undermines all
    that and doesn't seem to try at all to help Nicky throug this time by
    seeing to it he gets counselling (which I am once again trying to
    arrange for him, now) and why she continually *uses* her influence on
    the children to get to me.  
    
    I know it sounds paranoid... and perhaps by now there is some of that
    in me... but, dammit, she *does* do it, and the real victims of it are
    the kids... not me!  
    
    She is, without a doubt, one of the worlds best manipulators... and
    whether she is consciously doing it or not doesn't matter... she
    continues to do it.
    
    Right now, because it suits her, we have a "somewhat" amicable
    relationship.  That means we can talk without resorting to swear words
    and shouting... but, historically, that's been like a yo-yo...
    constantly swinging back and forth, up and down... I never know from
    one call to the next what her mood will be.  
    
    IT'S DRIVING ME BONKERS!!!
    
    tony