Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    
    It seems to me that the home the two of you shared is the marital home
    and, therefore, the home of your daughter.  If so and a New Hampshire
    court will agree to that, I would hire a lawyer and investigate getting
    a temporary decree that says the two of you are separated and that you
    have custody of the daughter. Since your wife is in Maine, you might be
    able to do this without her knowing about it and gain the element of
    surprise.  I would then investigate having a Main sheriff appear with
    you at your next meeting at the Burger King, present her with the
    decree, and boogie right back to Nashua with your daughter.  Maybe this
    is wishful thinking but I'd certainly find out that this or some
    variation of it isn't possible before I'd assume that it is.
    
    fwiw,
    Steve
    

    
    
    George,
    
    It's kind of hard to follow what you're writing, but I'd say get
    another lawyer who will give you some guidance and who fill fight for
    what you want.  It sounds to me like you're getting screwed while
    trying to cooperate so you may as well put up a fight.
    
    Steve
    

    George,
    
    This is a tough one.  I don't have any quick answers.  This is not
    intended to be criticism of you personally.  I have been a father's/
    children's rights activist for several years, and it's funny how often
    I've heard this story in on form or another.  It's amazing how
    vulnerable men in our society are to this type of &^%$.  In America
    today a man's chances of being around when his children graduate
    are only a little better than 50/50 and dropping. 
    
    Most married men don't even want to *think* of this happening to them,
    and they wouldn't *dare* try to do anyghing about it.  Most divorced
    men are so broke, discouraged, and burnt out to keep trying.  Most
    lawyers know that they don't stand much of a chance of winning in
    court and will not put a lot of effort into the case. Until men, ncp's, 
    non-custodial grandparents, etc band into a significant political force, 
    the change is going to be very slow. I hate to say it, but the lawyer 
    was probably correct in that you have a better chance (even with all 
    the *&^%) of working out something with your ex than you have in winning 
    someting in court.
    
    I'm not saying don't try.  I'm saying be realistic at this point about
    your chances of accomplishing something in court.  You have an uphill 
    battle.  Julie is Eva's *mother* and Eva is pre-school age.  I do have 
    a few suggestions that might help though:
    
    1) Document eveything as it happend (write down what happens, when
       it happens, what is said, and who said it).  Especially the parts
       about her threatening to go underground.  In Colorado anyway,
       one of the major concerns in awarding custody is *supposed* to
       be which parent will most likely help maintain the child's 
       relationship with the ncp parent.  If you can get witness 
       confirmation to these threats, even better.
    
    2) Try and present the case as a Children's Rights (Eva's) issue.
       Eva has a right to live in a safe and stable situation.  Don't
       give up trying to be a part of Eva's life.
    
    3) Check for Father's Rights groups and see if they can recomment a
       lawyer in your area.
    
    fred();

    re .7
    
    >In the last 8 years
    >Julie has held 8/9 different jobs with different companies. I am
    >celebrating, very quitely, 10 years with DEC. Before that 6 years with
    >Sanders Assoc in Nashua. 
    
    Not trying to harsh here George, just honest.  I too think it's b.s.
    but this won't buy you much with the courts.  What the court will look
    at is that Julie *has* been working and you're a good candidate for 
    hefty child support payments.  What will be effective is Eva's *current* 
    living conditions, the instability of the *current* home, the fact
    (if it is ture) that Eva already spends most of her day in day-care,
    etc, and Julie's compliance or non compliance with allowing you to
    maintain a relationship with Eva. Especially Julie's threats to
    go underground. 
    
    You have to think of it is terms of what is best for *Eva* and Eva's
    current situation.  Suggestion:  Is there a Guardian Ad Litem in this
    case.  If so, try to pick his/her brains about other cases they have
    been in and what has been effective and what *you* can do to *help*
    Eva.
    
    fred();

    
    
    George,
    
    Where is the babysitter located?  In what state?  Whether MA or NH
    there are state regulations about doing daycare.  If you have a
    concern about babysitter perhaps you might find out what the
    regulations are and whether she complies with them.  If not this might
    be a way to kill two birds with one stone 1) there's your case for
    getting her out of that particular daycare situation and 2) you might
    use this as evidence that your ex doesn't have very good judgement.
    
    Steve
    

    George,
    
    Again not trying to be crass about your feelings, but things like
    lack of playgroung equipment at the babysitters is probably not
    going to get you much in court.  The court will most likely not
    consider whether the conditions are "ideal", but will consider
    whether or not the conditions are "safe".
    
    What you're going to need in court is things that "endanger the
    physical well being or impair the emotional development" of the 
    child.  I agree with -1 in checking out regulations of daycare 
    for the state.  I'd also raise some questions in court about the
    babysitter not being on the up and up and wanting to be paid under
    the table.   Background checks into the "boyfriends" would not hurt.
    
    fred();

            I $pent 19 month$ and over $10,000 dollars trying to get
       custody of my son during the divorce.  I didn't get it.  In that
       time I experienced some of the frustrations that you are going
       through now.  I also changed lawyers (I live in Nashua NH) and
       worked with a GAL.  (If you want their names, send me mail.)

            One of the things I noticed, that I would like to caution
       you on, is that it is VERY counter productive to have the lawyers
       sending each other poison pen letters and other non-productive
       activities.  During my divorce, when my lawyer got angry that the
       other lawyer had lied in court or in verbal communications
       between them, I felt that it proved I was not crazy in the way I
       thought or what I wanted.  In truth, it did not further my case.
       It just cost me $100/hour to watch to adults argue and then go to
       the NH Bar Association Annual Picnic afterwards.

            It's real hard to do, especially where your child is
       concerned, but I would suggest that each time you want to do
       something ask yourself;
       
        - Will THE JUDGE view this as beneficial to my daughter?
        - What beneficial effect will this ACTUALLY have on my case?
        - How much direct stress will this put my daughter under,
          short term, long term?
        - Is there a better way to get what I want done?

       And in my opinion, when your lawyer wants to do or has done
       something, ask him the same questions!


       Hold on to your sanity,
       Richard


       PS  When you need to vent, this is the place.  Most of us have
           been there.  You are not alone.

    Thank you Richard!  I couldn't have said it better.  Manage your lawyer
    and manage your expectations.  And at all times keep asking yourself
    that same question -- "Is this really what's best for my child?" Too
    often the parents and the attorneys in a custody fight get so caught
    up in the heat of the battle that the child's best interests get lost.
    

    
    
    This may be after the fact, and may not be of any help now.  My
    boyfriend's ex up and left him one day and took the baby with her.
    He immediately went into court and got a restraining order barring
    her from leaving the state (MA).  He also was awarded full custody
    right there on the spot.  She had deserted.  In Mass, if a parent
    wants to take a child out of the state, it has to be with the other
    parent's permission or with the court's permission.  
    
    I am not sure if the laws are similar in NH, but I would definitely
    look into that.  It may help.
    
    Best of luck,
    Michele

    Your facts are correct for New Hampshire.  Have your Lawyer Act Quick
    and you might put a stop to some apparent mistreatment of you and your
    child.

    
    George,
    
    Your notes are kind of confusing.  Are you still married to your
    wife or are you divorced?  If you are not divorced, then I would
    advise filing for divorce and at the same time filing for full
    physical and legal custody of Eva.  
    
    It probably makes you feel better to let off steam in your notes.
    And this is the place to do it.  But you also must take legal action
    NOW.  You mentioned that you have a lawyer.  What is she doing?
    Is she actively working to seek full custody of your daughter? 
    
    Is your wife currently living with you?  Are you legally separated?
    Is she still living in Mass?  Is she working full or parttime?
    
    Re Eva's daycare.  If you are not happy with it, then change it.
    I realize this may be hard for you to do, but if you honestly
    feel it is not benifitting Eva then enforce a change.  
    
    The most important thing for you to do right now is to get
    full physical custody of your daughter.  She should not have
    to live like this.
    
    Best of luck,
    Michele

    
    
    George,
    
    So you were awarded custody, but the judge awarded temporary custody
    to Mom until the divorce is finalized?  Is that correct?
    
    Not sure how the laws differ in New Hampshire, but in Mass a stable
    environment is a requirement.  All I can tell you is to document all
    of your ex's actions.   Keep a record of where she is living and when
    and for how long and with who.  It may help you in the end.
    
    You are in a safe conference here.  Most, if not all, of the noters
    have been through very similar, but unique, situations as your are
    currently going through.  You do not need to justify why you are
    doing this.  Please remember that most of us are looking at this from
    the same angle you are.  
    
    
    Continue to be strong for Eva.  She needs you in her life, and you
    need her in yours!!
    
    Michele

    
    
    re .24
    
    >What a diffence a year makes......
    
    X-IV.
    
    fred();

    George, you notes seem to get angrier with each entry.....It is my
    opinion that you should take it easy on yourself and your child.
    Getting angry at your ex isnt going to slve anything....
    
    Also, words like "the oposing side", the "enemy" and the like is what
    has lead me to this conclusion.  Try to keep cool old boy, OK?
    
    as for changing your note #, as co-mod I can honestly say that it can
    be done, but without ease.. it would be a pain.  Speaking as an ex
    Squid meself, I do see what you mean about the 86...:-)

    I stand corrected George.
    
    Al

    .31 > But if I can use all the tools, like this note/memo writing, like
    .31 > in a game of chess . . .
    
    Well, maybe you could include a spelling error detector.  You write at
    considerable length, and leave an awful lot of orthographic and
    grammatical puzzles to be decoded by the reader.
    
    		- Bruce
    

    Well folks, after much pain and heart burn. Many sleepless nights, and
    etc. The soon_to_be_ex is to give me custody of my 3 year old daughter.
    It has been a experience I will never forget. I want to thank you all 
    for your support, for your encuragement. For many things that when you
    tell us of your personal stories gives me the courage to carry on.
    
    God Bless All of You
    George

    re.34 George,
    Congrats, and thanks for hanging in there to become another example
    that IT CAN BE DONE.
    fred();

    Fred,
    
    	It is never over! But at least I may have won round #1!! It will
    be all documented in the file what went on in another month. I am
    now in some sort of negoation of property settlement. But the mear
    fact that she decided to call it a day and let my daughter sleep in
    a bed vs sleep on a couch. Or be dragged around New England is a plus
    for my daughter. I do plan on giving the ex a liberal visitation,
    barring a certain boyfriend is not present. Details later on what
    happened. It could still go sour in this part of the game. So hopes
    are still high and paitents are still cooled. 
    
    	As Fred says it "CAN" be done! Divorce doesn't have to be a process
    of alienation of children, personal property, and money. I know
    sometimes for many of you out there that the emotions can be your
    leading factor. But to lead with the mind vs the loins or some hatered
    agianst the ex. For it is not her/his fault, it is the system that allows
    the opposing camps to do these barbaric things. 
    
    	Divorce is a war of money, nerve, and truth. Thruth is the most
    fleeting of the three points. Be truthful with yourself. Be truthful
    with your children and be VERY truthful with the laws of the land and
    you can win. Remember that we live and die on our reputation. If your
    known as untruthful you will always have to over come that obstical
    when you have to prove yourself of truth. Etc
    
    George

    Another father I know has ALSO gained custody of his 10 year old
    daughter! This took place a day or two after Christmas this year!!!
    A BIG CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR HIM! 

    Well it has been hot then cold then hot and cold. I was to pick up
    daughter last weekend. According to agreed plan by both parties. Well
    lawyers being lawyers wanted to stall it. And so I started to continue
    the court hearing as though nothing happened. Welp, I am getting
    daughter tonight with all the etc's. Gee, I am woundering what will
    happen next?

    Well its a dun-deal! Eva is safe with her dad in the marital home,
    where she has her own bed, chest of cloths, closet, toychest, bedroom.
    No more sleeping on a couch! No more woundering if mom is going to move
    back to Maine or Miami or Cal! No more 400 + mile weekends to Check
    Point Charlie Kenniebunk Port Maine! Here is the money honie, give 
    me my daughter! Hostage swapping. Or rent a kid for a weekend. 
    	Wow! I am still in big shock! I don't believe that this has happened 
    at all. I still cannot phatom that it has taken place? I guess I went 
    into the work mode to get my daughter home and now things are starting 
    to flood in like never before. 
    	It can be done! It can be done! You have to work like you have another 
    full time job! But IT CAN BE DONE!
    
    George
    
    Wounder if someone is gonna set me to unseen for I said something that
    may hurt someones feelings.....

   Wow, congratulations George, for sticking to your convictions and for
   taking care of your daughter!


   							Terza

    ditto .40 and a big congradulations for hanging in there and seeing 
    it through.  You can't win if you don't try.  
    fred();

    Thanks Fred! It has not totally sunk into my head that I have custody.
    But I am starting to! I love it! My daughter gets to sleep in a REAL
    BED! Not on a couch, as she did while in custody of her mom. 
    
    Three year olds sometimes say the most interesting things! Sunday
    morning Eva told me that her mom and her moms boyfriend had a terrible
    fight. With clothes flying around the room and etc. Sounds like there
    is more to this that first imagined. The boyfriend  has/had a
    restraining order agianst him at the time!

    re .43
    
    It's funny that you mention that it really hasn't sunk in yet that 
    you've won.  I went through the same feelings.  I just couldn't
    believe that after 9 1/2 years it was *finally* OVER, and what's
    more I'd WON.  I think my wife still has a hard time believing it
    even though the kids are now living with us and she is now a full
    time mother.  A couple weeks ago I finally got round to filing
    for child support from my ex.  Both my wife and I had some strange
    feelings about disclosing financial information for the request
    until we sat down and discussed that the ex really *can't* do
    anything to us either financially or in court anymore.
    
    I guess that's the reason that I still try to give a as much input
    to this notes file as I can.  I still remember quite well what it
    was like.  I know some of my notes probably sound like someone who
    is about two steps away from wrecking mass physical distruction 
    on someone.  I worry that other noters here will think I'm comming
    on a bit too strong or that I'm just gloating over what I have
    accomplished ( well maybe just a little ;^) ).  But mainly it's a
    sort of therapy for me to be able to share what I have learned
    and my experiences and be able to feel like I'm doing *something*
    about what I still feel like is one of the biggest injustices still
    so blatantly being perpatrated in America.
    
    congrats again and good luck to both you and you daughter.
    fred();
    

    Well it has been three weeks. Daughter is in a GREAT day care center!
    There are other little girls of her age! Mom is living with her boe who
    has a questionalbe back ground. Interesting...... Mom gets daughter
    every wednesday night and alt weekends. First time in years that I had
    a weekend off. Worked on house. Thats all! 

    OK. Guys! Got some small potatos crappie. Need some help with this too!
    When the ex left, she left me with the house cats. I have not been too
    keen on them. But kept them for they were the marrital pets. The have
    kept me company and even though I offered to the ex that I would bring
    them by for her, to which she replied that she and her new beu have a
    dog, I still kept them vs take them (The cats) to the shelter. Well
    in one of the many movings of the ex, she aquired another cat. Fine.
    Execpt she tells this three year old daughter that its her cat and that
    I must take this cat for the sake of the daughter. Gee, put you on the
    spot. She is getting the cat fixed, claims that she will help pay for
    the feeding of this cat. Still I don't want the cat, and the ex has
    been working on Eva about the cat. Eva doesn't talk about the cat until
    she gets back from moms. Dear Abby, whats a single father to do? :)
    Tell her to shove the cat, take the cat, take the cat to the shelter
    after daughter gets over mom working on her head?
    Signed of course
    George

    George -
    
    Don't take the cat.  Tell the daughter that the cat is her pet, for her
    to play with when she is visiting at Mom's.  She has other cats for her
    pets when she is living with you.
    
    Alison

    Thank you Alison!

    June 6, 1991!!! CS Day! Yes! I finally go child suport! Imagine that!
    Me! The guy! Not only did I get custody! I got child suport! Imagine
    me, a noble fair, long hair, the star of a Hollywood movie? :)

    Aw, come on, George.  How do you REALLY feel about it?  8-)
    
    While you're deciding, congratulations to you and your daughter.  It's
    been a long and hard fight, but I hope it's all behind you now and the
    two of you can start building a wonderful life.  
    
    Does this mean you'll have to bow out of the non-custodial parents 
    conference now?
    
    8-)
    Karen
         

    Karen,
    
    	I feel like I just won Megga Bucks! But I didn't!! What a wierd
    feeling!� :} Sorry, I am gonna be here for sometime. I hope to be able
    to help some others who have been sacked by their lawyers and the
    system. Like Fred might point out, you cannot save the world, but once
    in a while you can give some help. 
    
    	Yes, we are going to have the times of our lives! When she was
    born, I got alittle bit of a chance to know her, then it became less
    and less as I started to take on more and more of the income earning
    for both the ex and self. Then when the ex bolted to Maine, it became
    even less. It is like getting a second chance to really having a child.
    I will get to watch her grow-up. I have been listening to her learn to
    sing. What a neet thing that is! And watch her mature from an infant to
    a toddler was kind of lost. But now! Its real heaven! 
    
    	Want to really understand what is lost when this happens? The 
    other day I put out a lawn sprinkler. We watched it for a good half hour
    going round and round watering the lawn. Imagine what a simple thing
    that is? To her that was very interesting to her. She hasn't quite
    figured out that going out there and getting wet wont hurt you. But
    imagine that you did not have a little one like this to help you enjoy
    such little things? It would be just another day.

    sometimes one gets alittle carried away. But I am allowed once in a
    while. 
    
    A chineese philosopher once made a statement that man/women live on through
    their children. As in generation to generation. And how we treat them
    now will affect the out come of the next generation. 

    Well some good news in the mist of the sad side of life. Eva and her
    dad are doing well. Eva's dad has learned the manly art of pressing a
    little girls dress! Boy am I proud of myself! Mr. Mom here!:) And we
    had a discussion about where her Winnie the Poo came from. Well I had
    told her a factory. Nope.... Over the head. Picked up the bear and saw
    a Sears and Robuck tag on it. Then I told her that a couple of large
    elfs made her bear. One named Sears the other named Robuck......
    
    We are going out shopping for a new doll house tonight. Imagine that!
    I thought I would never see a day like that. 
    
    George

    Guess this is could be a good place to post this. Unless the Mod's can
    find another place. 
    
    This is a reminder that there is a fathers suport group meeting that
    meets every Tuesday night in the ledgeslative building behind the
    Capitol building in Concord N.H. Meeting time 7-9pm. This is a non
    profit org. Its primary issues are helping the NCP, grandparnts, second
    wifes, etc etc. All are welcome, and invited to attend. 
    
    For those of you who cannot justify it at the moment. Look at these
    meeting like this:
    
    1. If you spend $100 per hour on a srink for two hours, its $200
    2. If you spend $100 per hour in your attorneys office, its $200
    
    total cost per week =$400, or times 4.3 = $1,720 per month. Lotta
    free help. Many of us could spend this on maintence and child suport
    and still not get any satisfation. Unless sleeping on a park bench
    gives you a rush. 
    
    3. The real cost? Toll money(s), gas, and a coffie for the after
    meeting-meeting at Friendlies. Everyone gets friendly there.:)
    
    So, if your in commuting distance. Do-Drop-in. Or call 603-889-3922

    Alittle update for some of you. I am working on the final decree with
    the oposing camp. Looks like its gonna be a done deal in another couple
    of months. I have been holding back on allot of info because of much
    behind the sceans. When its done there will be a celebration and an
    over view of whats going on. I plan on writing a book on it. In fact
    I have started. 
    
    This is a message to many of you who are at the moment sitting in you
    cube behind your keyboard. And things are not going well in your
    divorce. Best said its to not roll over, and if your attorney is
    starting to sell you a bad bill of goods, dump'em and find a good
    fathers suport group. I did, things are going fine, and I would be
    living in or under a car if I had not done so.
    
    George

    Monday night, Oct. 14, 1991. The opposing camp signed the final
    stipulation. Now making it an uncontested divorce! Horay! I will have
    custody, have both apartment buildings, my pensions, etc etc. AND will
    recieve child suport! :-) Not toooo shabby! Not at all! I will split 
    1989 tax return of $2700 and its a done deal. Now being processed as we
    read these lines. Mom will get very very liberal visitations, the money
    mentioned, and peace of mind that her daughter is in good hands, no
    longer sleeping on a couch, as while in her care. And knowing that
    I am not going to be moving out of state in the next couple of decades. 
    
    Oposing camp lost her attorney for monatary reasons. Or at least that
    is what I am being told. I believe other wise. I will tell later after
    its a done deal.
    
    I guess a lesson learned, is if you have an attorney, and you are,
    unfortantly, in a divorce. Look at them as the queen in your chest
    game. As in do allot of the foot work for info for them, but try
    not to use them for you will loose them over the cost. 
    
    I guess the best and probably the most important lesson in the game. Is 
    reguardless, never lie about anything. Even if it means your gonna get
    your pee-pee whacked. For, if you do lie, and you get cought on the
    lie, its gonna be far more costly than one can imagine. Loosing an 
    attorney for your lie-ing to them is probably the worst thing you can
    ever ever do. For there is, for better or worse, a good ol boy/girl
    network with them and word spreads fast. Esp when you walk into an
    office and it has 'Bla-Bla attorney at law' printed all over the case
    and they call Bla-Bla, the word will pass fast. 
    
    Well I guess when its a done deal I am going to get a few folks
    together, and go out for a beer. I have also been thinking about
    blowing up a pick of the soon-to-be-ex on a poster. Cut out the 
    pic and paist it on some card board. And setting it on fire for a
    good Viking Funeral. As in she has gone to see the Gods Valaha!
    Saw this on China Beach once. 
    
    Peace
    George

    Congratulations George.  :-)
    
    Karen

    Thanks Karen!! 
    
    Some more gooood news! Geeze! I can't stand it anymore! Being the
    bearer of good news!:) But!!!! Friday the 25 of this month, I am going
    to court for the FINAL! That means!!! Yep! That means, 60 days after
    that!!!! I AM A FREE MAN!! Excuse me, for I am going to do a rebel yell
    right here. YHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Boy, did
    I need to get that off my chest!:) This will be about two and one half
    years in the making. Costing lots of $$$$$, and lost sleep, and other
    bad things, execpt loosing weight. Loosing weight for fat ol me is
    always a welcome releife....:)
    
    I am still pondering a walking drunk through Nashua or having a Viking
    funeral for the ex as done in China Beach. Perhaps it might be too
    cold and ice on the ponds and lakes to lanch a funeral barge. We'll
    have to see. Mean time.... The tension is building to be a free man
    agian. 
    
    Live Free or Die!
    
    George

Congratulations George,

It's nice to hear the success stories, I am glad you got everything you wanted
and soon, your freedom. It's a tough road, but the rewards are sweet.

All the best,

John

    And another congradulations!!!
    fred();

    Thanks Fred! Looks like its over, she agreed with everything on the
    final. Gee, it was real funny, she still lied to the courts to the
    last possible min. And I guess truth and justice still previaled. 
    They were nit-picky stuff, like she gave the address of her folks home
    as her residence vs where she is really living. And she started in
    making faulse statements about her wadge. And I piped up saying that
    we could of asked for more, but the issue is not to inpoverish the ex.
    Wow! What a long trip! Glad its over, and I am going to celebrate
    when its a real done deal!!! 
    
    George

    Congratulations, George!  It's nice to read of SOMETHING going right
    for someone who cares.  The kids are worth it!
    
    Steve

    Thanks Steve! It was a long road to walk and its all over. I hope that
    I never have to do that agian. And, yes, kids are worth it! God Bless!

    Well I got the paperwork in the mail last night. I became offical Oct.
    28, 1991. Freedom. Now to have a party over it all! 

    Saturday night we had a party over my new found freedom. We have
    celebrations for marriage, the joining of two. Why not celebrate the
    passage of two breaking away? Well, it wasn't gonna be your typical
    drunk on the town. Nor was it going to be a moment of mourning.
    Well....
     
    It was going to be a good ol Viking funeral, but we could get
    permission to have it on a lake or pond for the polution laws that have
    been reciently passed in the last couple of years. So, it became you
    typical Eastern Indian funeral pile. 
    
    I kinda figured that it would be best to do it on top of a local knowl.
    But the gods decreed it to be placed at the bottom of a sand pit. The
    gods kept blowing the wood off the top of the knowle. Flaming logs and
    etc. Guess the hidden message was that the ex isn't gonna go visit the
    gods upstairs...:) Kinda think that things are gonna get real warm for
    her, in another part......:) 
    
    One of the party'ers brought some great boom-booms to celebrate with.
    Imagine standing on top of this knowl and shooting roman candles into
    the sky only to watch them blow off at a right angle to the candle
    stick... Windy??? Not much! Beer cans were recycled into the fire..:)
    
    We sat the eff-a-gee (sp) up in a corner of the camp fire and put a 
    beer in her hand. Good Irish wake. I can say this cause I am Irish! 
    She had a terrible car accident. She was brain dead and we commited
    youth-in-asia. :) Pulled the plug. Her scull was missing some gray
    matter so we filled it with leaves, sawdust, and cotton. Great job. 
    Just about looked like original stock. Acted like origian too...:)
    
    Then came the moment of truth. The fire was hot, the beer was cold, the
    moon was full. And I said my final farewells to the past. To the
    memories of what once were. To forget the pains and hurts and to move on
    with a healthy attitude that marriage can work and will. Sometimes it
    breaks and you gotta fix it or rid it if it doesnt. Onto the hot
    flames, up into the cloudless night, up to the heavens of memories. And
    when the flames cooled down. There were more fire work celebrations. I
    don't believe that the guys got this stuff! What a hellofaway to start
    a new beginning! Night became day with the fireworks!:) God Bless them!
    
    And a toast to all of us,""May we all solve our marrital and life
    problems in a half hour as they do on with "Leave it to Beaver" and the
    "Nelson family", or any other family show you wanna pick.""
    
    
    Peace
    
    George

    Imagine this... Some says the fire would be better off down in the sand
    pit below. And we picked up hot burning logs and etc with our leather
    gloves and etc and moved the fire!:) I don't believe it!:^)

Great stuff George!

    George,
    
    Thank God for people like you who care enough to help children like
    these.  This should never happen to children, never.  Maybe people like
    you WILL make a difference in these kids lives.  
    
    Karen

    Well guys and gals its been sometime since I have written in here. I
    have been persuent of a suit against a GAL, gardain-at-lidem. For
    malpractice and malfeason. Reason being that he openly allowed my
    daughter to live in danger even though I have told him of it. And that
    danger was/is that the ex lived/still-lives with a self admitted child
    molester. So, without doubt I proved it, got custody and now have been
    turned down at the First circuit federal court which resides in Concord
    N.H.... 
    Its painful as hell to even discuss this. I am writing to you all
    because I am doing this for us all. If a woman says to the attorney/gal
    that the ex is a sex offender or masterbates on dirty books the man is,
    without question, removed from the nurturing of the children. IF a man
    says the same thing, your some sort of nut case. Hence the second side
    of the two sided swoard that only cuts one way.
    
    And if you want justice, one must persue it to the max. 
    
    Back to work....

    re .73

    If the courts won't listen to you, you can file a complaint with
    the disciplinary commission (whatever it's called in your state).
    The Bar Association should be able to give you information on who
    to contact and how to file the complaint.  

    If the disciplinary commission nails him, then you could file suit
    in state court for damages.

    It's not a total loss.  Even if you don't get him, you will have 
    served notice that he will not get away with such b.s. easily.
    He will think twice next time.

    f();

    I am apealing my way to Washington D.C. to get a decision. That is the
    bottom line. Bankruptcy or not I am going to do it. Between the divorce
    and the soft market I am trying to enter a chap 13. If not its 7-Up. 
    

    What were the grounds of the suit against the GAL?
    
    Did you try Denial of Due Process?
      If the court appointed him, they had a responsibility to appoint
      someone unbiased & competent.
    
    Did you try conspiracy to commit the act?
      
                                       Kurt

    Kurt,
    
    The grounds were malpractice and mal-feason.

    Welp... We have all read and heard the horra's of divorce. The pain,
    the bankruptcy, the alienation. But, sometimes there is some goodness.
    Sometime, there is a truce in the war. And last night was one of those.
    
    Normally, week nights are nights for dad, being the custodial one. And
    mom gets alt weekends. Last night, mom, my ex, Eva's mom, came over and
    took Eva out for a trix and treat round. I kept the homefire burning
    handing out candy. This is a first. She came over, changed cloths, and
    went out. Normally, this does not happen in the 'War of the Roses'. 
    
    Just the same, feeling about each other have changed, some, but for the
    most part, its still business as usual. And this is just a brief moment
    of peace in the for ever war.
    

    For anyone who cares. There was another mile stone passed yesterday. I
    have officially have had custody for the past 4 years of my daugther of
    now 7 years old. Its been fun. It can be done. Just gotta work like
    hell for it.
    
    Peace

    
    I passed a stone last night too :^).  My oldest daughter (20) came home
    engaged 8^}.
    
    fred();

    Congrads Dads!!!:)

    Anyone read the latest in Playboy on Deadbeat dads! Looks like there is
    a mag that is siding with many ncps and their views. I will try to copy
    this into the notes this week or next. Its funny!:)