| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 85.1 | My take on this Kim | NRUG::MARTIN | Lets turn this MUTHA OUT! | Thu Sep 13 1990 06:59 | 37 |
| Kim, sorry to hear about your problem.
A couple of answers from my prospective.
IF the court did not order child support payments, then legally you ex
does not have to pay (I know that this stinks but legally that is the
way it is).
Your delema is all too common Kim. A lot of men "run" out on their
spouce and child(ren) and "disappear from the face of the earth".
As far as him walking back into your life, if the courts have granted
you total custody, with no visitations on his side, he cannot legally
"walk back in".
As for what you can do, here is my opinion;
First off, keep us posted, whenever you feel the preasures or just need
a sholder to lean on and an ear to listen, remember us. We will always
be here for ya.
Secondly, maybe you could find someone (your mother or father, a sister
or brother, or even a very close friend) and discuss your feelings, get
your anger, questions, frustrations, and fear off of your chest. A
councelor (sp) is a good place to start, or even a custodial parent or
womens support group is another.
Mainly, don't let it get you down, there is always someone that will
give you the support network that you need, its just a matter of
finding the right person(s) that make you feel comfortable.
This is all my opinion Kim, I am a happily married (with children) man.
I do not, first hand, know what it feels like, but I have delt with
custodial and non custodial parents before and this is what I think
would help.
Al
|
| 85.2 | | JETSAM::WHEELER | Chickens have no bums | Thu Sep 13 1990 12:49 | 26 |
|
Try calling (if your in Mass) the Massachusetts Department of
Revene Child Support Enforcement Division at
1-800-332-2733
They will send you and application for their services (all
free except for filing costs)
Services they offer:
o Locate the absent parent
o Establish paternity (if needed)
o Establish child support order (if needed)
o Enforce child support order
o Collect child support payments and send them
to you
o Review cases for modication of child support
order, depending on outcome see modications.
They offer all, some, or 1 of these services.
|
| 85.3 | A few things to add | FSOA::KCASBEER | | Thu Sep 13 1990 14:33 | 25 |
| Just some quick additions:
1. I currently live with my parents who are a wonderful
support to me, and listen very attentively. (of course
they never liked my ex, especially now)
2. I did call Child Support revenue, they have been involved
since my restraining order and temporary custody. They
have a few problems:
a. He has not filed taxes for over three years
b. He seems to working under the table or not all
c. The last residence address we have is at his job in
Franklin
d. There is a good chance he is in Texas at his parents,
Texas does not help much.
They did however tell me there is a warrant out for his
arrest and I would be contacted as soon as anything happened.
Thanks for all your suggestions they mean alot at this time.
Kim
|
| 85.4 | Magnum P.I. | WILLEE::SKOWRONEK | | Fri Sep 14 1990 08:52 | 20 |
|
I know it may cost some money, but have you thought of hiring a
Private Detective to find him. I would check with the DOR Child
Support Enforcement Div., and find out if you would be owed any
back child support if & when your ex is found. If you are, then
I would find a P.D. who would accept most of his fee after he/she
finds your ex. All you need to find out is where he is living and
if he has a job. Then once you have evidence, you can call the
local police/sherrifs department, and they should arrest him and
send him back to Mass for trial.
There is still the chance that he will skip out again, but maybe
he won't. Part of me wants to tell you to just forget it - its
not worth the aggravation, but the other part of me (who raised
my daughter without support for 4 years, but finally got it) wants
you to get this jerk.
Good luck with everything,
Debby
|
| 85.5 | Leave him in hiding | SCAACT::COX | Kristen Cox - Dallas ACT Sys Mgr | Mon Sep 17 1990 16:16 | 13 |
|
Why do you want to find him? He is no model for your child. If there is any
possible way on this earth that you could make it without the help of his
child support. then why try to find him? Chances are he would not enforce it,
but if he is slapped with child support he is also entitled to visitation. I
would not want my child around him (sorry if this sounds cold, but whose sperm
contributed to the child is of little meaning compared to other factors of
being a parent). He has already proven that he can easily disappear, and is
willing to disappear. Try your damdest to make it on your own, and don't
subject your little one to this person!
My (harsh) opinions, of course.
Kristen
|
| 85.6 | not related | BPOV04::MACKINNON | ProChoice is a form of democracy | Tue Sep 18 1990 07:51 | 8 |
|
re -1
In Mass, support and visitation are not related. One does not
necessarily have to be granted visitation if they are paying support.
Michele
|
| 85.7 | take care of yourself and child | TROA09::BLOM | NOW is all there is | Tue Oct 09 1990 19:55 | 15 |
| just my few cents worth.
Get a good agreement, so when he shows up (he just may one day)
you are well protected, and have no obligation to allow anything
you do not want.(like visitation)
Maybe you will allow it eventually for the sake of your child,
but save it for when necessary.
If you are treated like this, the only thing you can do is protect
yourself and your child.
Without him present you may be very cheaply arrange this, when
he shows up it may (will cost you a bundel in fees).
Good luck, Bart
ie sr
|
| 85.8 | Dump him..he's a loser | CSC32::N_WALLACE | Choices Happen | Tue Oct 23 1990 09:05 | 12 |
|
I agree with Kristen. This guy is a schmuck. Why in the world would
you want him involved in any way in your life? If you persue this,
the emotional cost will be enormous for you and your son. I say take
your lumps and get on with your life. You Don't need him. You need to
believe in yourself. It sounds like you have supportive and loving
parents to help you through the the storms. Your a lucky gal.
-Neil
CP-who-is-making-it-with-zero-support-from-ex
|
| 85.9 | kickem in the ... | BENONI::JIMC | illegitimi non insectus | Wed Jan 02 1991 15:00 | 9 |
| MY $0.02! Yeah he's a schmuck. Odds are, the schmuck will show up
some day for whatever reason. The really important thing is to try to
establish the whereabouts etc. One of these days, many years from now,
your son will want to know his father. If you say bad things about him
it will dimish you, if good, you still lose. Support is his obligation
and any parent who does not contribute oughta be...(gee I can think of
so many nasty things).
I wish you well. Hang in there.
|