| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 67.1 | Ditto | SAGE::MACDONALD_K | | Wed Jun 13 1990 12:38 | 5 |
| You're so right, Susan. And I also wish you all a very happy
Father's Day.
- Kathryn
|
| 67.2 | We mattter | CSC32::HADDOCK | All Irk and No Pay | Fri Jun 15 1990 10:01 | 32 |
| All too often we tend to forget that fathers DO matter to those who
matter. The following "customer letter" from the secretary of the private
school that my daughter attends brought that back to me loud and
clear.
I have been somewhat hesitant to enter this since I didn't want to
appear that I was "bragging" (well-just a little). I have decided
to enter it for those fathers and NCP's who may have, like I did,
overlooked the fact that you Do matter to those who matter.
fred();
Park Hill Christian Academy
Dear Mr. Haddock:
I just wanted to share a special blessing with you that happened last
week in school. I know things like this really give me a "lift".
I was helping out in one of the classes of 9th and 10th grade girls
and asked the question "What is the one special blessing that God
has given you?" When Terri's turn came and I asked her that
question, her immediate reply was "I am thankful for my daddy".
This really touched my heart. I know this means a lot to a
parent , and I just wanted to share this with you.
Sincerely,
Sarafaye
School Secretary
|
| 67.3 | thanks for sharing that! | FSTTOO::BEAN | Attila the Hun was a LIBERAL! | Fri Jun 15 1990 12:37 | 1 |
|
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| 67.4 | | SIVA::MACDONALD | | Tue Jun 19 1990 15:09 | 6 |
|
Thanks, Fred. I didn't even get a phone call so I'm glad
someone else had a nice thing to share.
Steve
|
| 67.5 | | FSTTOO::BEAN | Attila the Hun was a LIBERAL! | Wed Jun 20 1990 07:47 | 15 |
| My two oldest sons called me on Father's day...we had a nice visit on
the telephone. I am very glad for that!
My 11 and 14 year old did not call. They still live with mom. I
called last night, and neither one would talk to me. I guess they are
upset (still) over my inability to send extra money a few weeks ago for
summer activities.
It constantly amazes me how their feelings towards me are so completely
synchronized with how pi**ed off their mom is with me. ;^)
I hope all dads, everywhere, had a nice day. ANd I hope EVERY day will
someday be Father's day for them!
tony
|
| 67.6 | | SIVA::MACDONALD | | Wed Jun 20 1990 14:26 | 15 |
|
Re: .5
> It constantly amazes me how their feelings towards me are so
> completely synchronized with how pi**ed off their mom is
> with me. ;^)
It makes sense when you think about it. They either simply assume
that they have to have the same feelings that she does or she tells
them so directly. In either case, it's just a survival issues for
them. You can hang up the phone; they have to live with her.
Steve
|
| 67.7 | yup | POCUS::NORDELL | | Thu Jun 21 1990 07:19 | 9 |
| Steve, you couldn't be more closer to the truth. When I was a child,
my mother constantly bad-mouthed my father. It wasn't until I was
an adult and could think for myself that I realized there were two
sides to every story. Also, as I have stated in other notes, my
mother was a physical abuser and if I dared to defend him, watch
out! As you said, they have to live with her.
Susan
|
| 67.8 | what goes around..... | FSTTOO::BEAN | Attila the Hun was a LIBERAL! | Thu Jun 21 1990 08:25 | 13 |
| i guess what i am *really* amazed at is not how her attitude or
feelings translate into *their* attitude and feelings...as much as i am
amazed that she *knows* all that and is intentionally doing it. it's
all a game to her...to be in CONTROL. she knows it hurts me..and is
willing to hurt the kids this way to "get" to me.
paranoid? no...just true. i lived with her for more than 20 years,
and saw it all that time... but, it still amazes me.
i GUARANTEE (no, not a money back!) that it will back-fire on her one
day, and she may well find herself deserted by her own children.
tony
|
| 67.9 | sad--sort of but true | CSC32::HADDOCK | All Irk and No Pay | Thu Jun 21 1990 10:04 | 8 |
| re .8 tony
That is what happened to my daughter and her mother. My ex constantly
bombarded her with so much hate and *&^% that when my daughter got old
enough to find out for herself, my ex looked like a real oger. My
daughter of her own decision now wants nothing to do with her mother.
fred();
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| 67.10 | | SIVA::MACDONALD | | Fri Jun 22 1990 08:33 | 16 |
|
Tony,
Her feelings don't really become their feelings. It's a role
that they adopt to survive. They are just parroting what she
spews so that she will stay off their backs. All this stuff
is well know and understood by persons who understand
dysfunctional families. Your children probably have a very difficult
time knowing what their own feelings are because they are constantly
being controlled by their mother who wants to decide what they
think and feel. To better understand all this, you might want to
look into the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. It
might ring quite familiar.
Steve
|