Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

  Hi Michelle,

   I would think that if this matter has been discussed in detail with
the courts and all parties have agreed then she is in direct violation of
the court agreement (notice I said agreement rather than order).

HOWEVER, an agreement is, as stated, a statement that the court agrees 
with what the parties have "agreed" to.  An order is an "order" that the 
court imposes upon both parties.  I really haven't had to have the court
to force an arangement that was based on an agreement, but I have asked
the court to enforce it's own order.

She can petition the court to have the name changed but it has to be 
made public and I believe he would get a copy of the petition.  The 
petition request would also be published in the local newspaper.  If she
files the petition with the belief that there was "abandment" then
he probably doesn't  have a chance in hell but if she just wants to change
it, then he should have a good chance on fighting it.

Just out of curiosity, how long has she been using only her last name?
If she has signed any other legal papers like passport papers, social
security requests, etc. over any length of time until recently, then she
will have a hard time proving duress.

Keep us posted and let us know what happens.

Kenn

    
    
    Kenn,
    
    She moved out of state last October.  Up until that point all of the
    documentation had the proper legal name.  And in fact if you asked
    Erin what her name was she would say Erin Suleski-Murray.  So even
    the child knew her real name.    
    
    Not sure what you mean by abandonment.  She was the one who suddenly
    and without notice left the "family" residence taking the child with
    her.  She moved in with a friend and eventually into her own apartment.
    That lasted for about a year and a half.  Then she suddenly "could
    not afford to live here anymore".  So the court agreed to let her
    leave mass and live with her parents in New York.  Of course she took
    her daughter with her.  So if abandonment was to be used, wouldn't it
    be her that abandoned the situation and not him?
    
    Also, how can she legally change the child's name even though it has
    been on the birth certificate since the child was born almost 4 
    years ago?  It wasn't until she moved out of state that she started
    using only her last name and not his.  Can she still claim duress
    even though she has allowed the name to remain on the birth certificate
    unchanged to date?  Is there some type of time frame that would affect
    her decision?  
    
    Also, if she can legally change Erin's name, what implication does that
    have on John.  Does he no longer become the child's father in the eyes
    of the court ( ie no longer required to pay support, lose any
    visitation he now has?).
    
    Again any help will be appreciated,
    Michele

    You need a lawyer to answer this for sure but in my experience with 
    other Custodial parents trying to change names:
    
    *She cannot *legally* change the name without the NC parents consent
     unless the NC parent has abandoned the child (not paid support and
     not made any attempt to communicate with the child).
    *She can *use* about any name she wants so long as she is not using
     that name to represent the child as someone else (criminal
     impersonation).
    *The *duress* is bs smoke screen unless she can *prove* that the 
     "duress" involved threat of physical harm.  She made the agreement
     she has to stick to it.
    
    fred();

  Thanks Fred, you beat me to it.  Basically abandonment is when the 
father of the child does not make any attempt to visit the child, support
the child or even contact them.

Kenn

In Texas you can use any name for a child (in schools) until junior high.
At that point they are REQUIRED to use their legal last name, as stated on
the birth cirtificate.

To change the name on the birth certificate would require going to court,
in which case your husband would be involved and have a chance (sounds like
a good chance) to fight it.

Sounds to me like the ex is just using her own name, but has not changed
anything legally.  Eventually the child will HAVE to use her legal name for
something, and if the school laws are the same in New York, it would be better
for her to start using it now rather than have a "new" name at Jr. High.....

I don't think there is much he can do about the name his ex uses, though, as
long as she is doing it within the limits of the law.  For that matter, when
the child is with you, you could use YOUR last name (of course I'm not sure
that any of this pettiness is good for the child)!

Best of Luck,
Kristen