| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 39.1 | Call Social Services | CSC32::HADDOCK | All Irk and No Pay | Thu Mar 29 1990 09:41 | 17 |
| I don't know what state you're in, so I have no idea what the laws
there are. Generally if the chilren are in K-6 they should not be
left alone.
The people to contact would be social services. They're the ones
who would be able to something about this. Call them, then call
them again any time there is a reoccurance of the situation. Sooner
or later she'll have to get her act to gether or S.S. will take some
action that I quarantee she won't like.
I had sort of the same situation with my ex, and could never really
get anything done. My 9 year old son was left to watch over his
three other sibilings. Once one of them even caught the trash can
on fire. My son was able to trow a pither of water on it and put
it out. Then HE got in trouble when his mother got home.
fred();
|
| 39.2 | Prosecute | USEM::MCQUEENEY | Vast skill, half vast job. | Thu Mar 29 1990 11:10 | 15 |
|
What I would do, if DSS and the Family Services Dept. of Probate
wouldn't help you, is file a complaint for criminal neglect, get
it scheduled, and present your case before the judge. Even if the
Family Services Officer sides with yoiur ex-, at least you have
a chance to present your impassioned pleas to the magistrate. Perhaps
he will at least give your ex- a scolding, and who knows? If you
present the case well enough, he may even impose sanctions. If
you feel the children are being neglected, collect evidence and
go for it!
My 2� worth
McQ
|
| 39.3 | something should be done... | WHATIF::CROTEAU | Anything you say, deah... | Thu Mar 29 1990 11:41 | 13 |
| If you have EVER had to deal with DSS, you'll know that they are
just about useless... unless of course, you're a government official.
I'd call the cops next time you know they are alone. Plan on being
their when they arrive, to take the kids. THEN, you'll have a police
report saying that the kids were left alone. DSS seldomly does anything
unless they have proof. I know, i tried to report a child abuse
case to them, and they did NOTHING! (sheesh, they tell ya to reort
it, and they sit on their buts)
That shouldnt be happening...
Mar
|
| 39.4 | can she call you? | POCUS::NORDELL | | Thu Mar 29 1990 12:29 | 7 |
| Before putting the children thru any of this, I would appeal to
her to call you when they are ill and give you the option of taking
off from work to be with them. Either take them to your house or
stay with them at hers. As for the evening hours, can you take
them for pre-designated nights so that she can plan her outings
for those nights?
|
| 39.5 | document document | CSC32::HADDOCK | All Irk and No Pay | Thu Mar 29 1990 16:20 | 13 |
| One other thing to do is to DOCUMENT each and every occurance of
this happening, and what you did about it (ie. contacted police,
contacted social services, offered to take children, etc). If it
ever comes up to court you *can* in most states use this documentation
to support your claim. However, one of the first things that her
lawhere is going to as you is, "What did YOU do about this situation
when you saw it happening." The implication being that if you saw
the situation happening and did nothing about it, then you're just
as guilty as she is.
Get you a spiral notebook or something and start keeping records.
fred();
|
| 39.6 | Another sad case . . . | WILLEE::SKOWRONEK | | Wed Apr 25 1990 07:59 | 40 |
| Hi,
Don't quote me on this, but some of the things DSS looks at are:
1) Does your ex provide a home for these children? 2) Are these
children well clothed?? 3) Are these children well fed??
I know that if you answer yes to all three, then your wife is not
considered being neglectful. I do think it is a disgrace though.
A friend of mine had a job once where she was a sort of "nanny".
She lived in a nice house with 3 children, and her job was to get
the kids dress, fed and off to school in the morning, then she would
go to work, after work she would come home and feed them, play with
them and put them to bed. The mother of these three children had
died a year or so before my friend started working for this "family".
The (so-called) father lived next door (believe it or not) with
his new wife and her child from a previous marriage. The father
would come over in the morning and eat breakfast before school,
and he would come back around dinner-time/before bed. My friend
ended up quiting this job because the children had alot of problems
(I wonder why), they were uncontrollable at times, and their father
seemed to not care. My friend was about 18 at the time, too soon
to be a "mother" of three children.
When I was in college, I asked my Child Psychology teacher about
this scenario, and she said that the father was providing a roof
over their heads, they were well fed, well clothed, and they did
have someone taking care of them, then unfortunately (her word)
the authorities would probably not do anything at all. It's a sad
case.
If it were me, yes, I would agree with Mary --- Call the Police
and meet them at the house, so that you can take the kids. If you
aren't there, who knows where they will bring your kids. It is
against the law for a child to be left home alone under the age
of 11.
Good Luck
Debby
|
| 39.7 | Is 11 the age? | LAPUZZ::GORMAN | Make a good day... | Mon Jul 02 1990 07:50 | 3 |
| Is 11 the legal cutoff in Massachusetts? Who has more info on
just what is and isn't legal?
Thanks, Bob
|
| 39.8 | | SRATGA::SCARBERRY_CI | | Fri Jul 12 1991 16:18 | 20 |
| I wouldn't do anything so hastily. I really like the reply that
suggested she be able to call you when the children are ill.
If you call Social Services, those kids don't automaticilly go to
you. They're placed in foster care 'till it's decided where they
go. I know 'cause I went through this with my ex. Neglect was
proven over a years time. His visitation went from supervised to
termination of visitation. At the time, I really hated proceeding
with the case, but I felt my kids were in jeoparday while with him
on the weekends and some school days. They were 4&6+/-. I always
wanted that the kids could see him again when he was under better
circumstances. Anyway, he has cleaned up his act and he really
is a great dad. He can see them anytime, matter of fact, should
we seperate for good again, he'll probably take them full time.
Try not to be too harsh with your ex. As guilty as I may be, I've
left my 2 alone also, so that I could work. It's a tough issue
with no easy answers. I think for your children's sake, try to
discuss this with your ex. Believe me, even if it takes a while,
this discussion will greatly improve your, hers and their lives
forever!!
|