| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 34.1 | Do you have to ask?? | CSC32::HADDOCK | All Irk and No Pay | Fri Mar 23 1990 11:37 | 6 |
| re -1
You are. Your ex is being a b!!ch and engaging in some wishfull
thinking.
fred();
|
| 34.2 | *EGADS* | MTADMS::RENDA | HAPPINESS IS A WAGGING TAIL | Fri Mar 23 1990 12:27 | 20 |
|
Cal,
I've read in other notesfiles that you have a vendictive ex....
But, I've never heard of such nonsense.... I don't even get
along with my father and I used the following on my invite's...
Together with their parents.....
etc....
Includes all and leaves out none....
You don't even need to ask who's doing the dirty deed here!!!
My best wishes,
Kim
|
| 34.3 | | SLUGER::KERSCH | | Fri Mar 23 1990 14:14 | 9 |
|
My daughter is 13 now and I dread the day that you are facing
now. I really hope that when the time comes that she will ask me
to give her away. I would be so hurt if she didn't. Well I guess
I have plenty of time to prepare for it anyway. Good luck with your
situtation.
|
| 34.4 | fear it may happen to us | GIAMEM::MACKINNON | ProChoice is a form of democracy | Mon Mar 26 1990 10:47 | 12 |
|
This is also an issue I dread when it comes up. My boyfriend and
I are planning on marrying within the next couple of years.
He wants his daughter (now 3.5) to participate in the wedding.
I feel he is going to have a hell of a time getting this to happen.
He had to pull teeth just to get her to agree to let the child
be in his brothers wedding. Why can't some people just put
away their anger towards each other?
Michele
|
| 34.5 | She needs help! | HBO::CALCAGNI | A.F.F.A | Mon Mar 26 1990 11:28 | 27 |
|
Well Theresa, my present wife, and my daughter had a long talk this
weekend. They are pretty close.
It seems that in addition to the invitations my ex wants her present
husband to give my daughter away! My daughter is extreemly upset not
to mention others.
My ex is still living in the past, and can't get over the fact that I
could possibly leave her. It has come to the point where she is
totally consumed over the fact and dwells on it constantly.. We're
talking twelve years here.
She still cant see what she did or is..
Worse she is trying to brainwash my daughter, tried on my son but he
has no brain.. ha ha! Actually I have fine kids, just a sicko ex.
As for the invitations. I told my daughter.. some times you just got
to say..what the.. I told her I would pick up the cost and whatever
she decided I would not bicker over.. Giving her away is another
issue.
I'll know in a few days what is happening there.
Cal.
|
| 34.6 | Not the parents' day, no way! | FENNEL::GODIN | Hangin' loose while the tan lasts | Mon Mar 26 1990 12:30 | 25 |
| Re. HBO::CALCAGNI - the following is not criticism of you or the stance
you've taken, but rather a strong criticism of your ex-wife and other
parents who let past hurts, real or imagined, stand in the way of their
children's lives:
I've said it before (in another notes file), and I'll say it again.
I'm not on particularly good terms with my ex. As a matter of fact,
I'm practically counting the days when the kids are grown and I no
longer have to deal with him.
BUT, when my kids get married, I'll do whatever I can to make that day
a joyous one for them. If they want me to dance with their father, I
will. If they want me to take a back seat and pretend I'm not there, I
will (though I might be a little less forthcoming with any financial
assistance for the festivities). It's their day, not mine, not their
father's.
There are always enough tensions involved in a wedding without two
supposed adults who just happen to be the parents of the bride or groom
letting their hurts get in the way.
Good luck to your daughter. Sounds like she's going to need it! Hope
she's strong enough to stand up for herself.
Karen
|
| 34.7 | My thoughts exactly! | HBO::CALCAGNI | A.F.F.A | Mon Mar 26 1990 13:04 | 8 |
|
-1,
Couldn't agree more!! Now if only the ex would realize it is my
daughter's day!
Cal.
|
| 34.8 | | GIAMEM::MACKINNON | ProChoice is a form of democracy | Mon Mar 26 1990 13:12 | 15 |
|
re -1
Does your ex listen to her daughter? Does she realize that she
is a mature adult who is more than capable of making her own
decisions? Is the ex footing the bill for the wedding? The
only reason I ask the last one is because some parents feel
that since they are paying for the wedding then the wedding
will be the way they want it.
It should be your daughter's decision as to who gives her away.
What would happen if she decides on you? Is your ex that
vindictive that she would ruin her own daughter's wedding?
|
| 34.9 | Good luck Cal. | CONURE::AMARTIN | My rights end... Where yours begin! | Mon Mar 26 1990 17:01 | 3 |
| Bravo Karen!
I couldn't have said it any better...
|
| 34.10 | Thanks.. I needed that! | HBO::CALCAGNI | A.F.F.A | Mon Mar 26 1990 19:44 | 36 |
|
..
My ex only listens to money.
She is not footing the bill.
She loves to flaunt it as if she was paying for it.
She cares for no one except her..
Vindictive.. that word was invented for her.
She has absolutly no sane reason to be vindictive. I gave her
everything and took nothing! Hell I left court with just a barrel to
live in.. All I had was my clothes, all the bills and my sleeping bag.
I gave her the house, with all the custom Hand made furniture and money
every week, plus I baby sat during the week so she could go out, and
took the kids on weekends, when she let me.
I have never said a bad word about her to the kids, or in front of the
kids.
I could go on and on.. but why get worked up.. No matter what she will
always be in the picture due to the kids. Sooo I do my best and hope
someday they will see what has happened.. and they are beginning to.
Whatever happens, happens. I love my daughter too much to cause a
ruckus. It is her day, and I hope her only wedding. Now if the ex
would get her head out of her..
If I haven't solved anything at least I vented a little frustration..
Cal.
|
| 34.11 | not sugar and spice | CSC32::HADDOCK | All Irk and No Pay | Tue Mar 27 1990 09:45 | 15 |
| Cal,
One of the hardest things, for some reason, that I had to learn
from my divorce was that I was not dealing with a sane and rational
person. It's difficult to accept that this person who used to be
so sweet and considerate is now a faming b!!ch (or sob whichever the
case may be). Once I figured that out, it enabled me to deal with the
situation with a certain amount of detachment that allowed me to
retain at least some of my sanity.
No I am not a psycologist, and the only thing I have to go on
is what is here in this note, so I can't make that determination
for you, but it's something to consider.
fred();
|
| 34.12 | What goes around comes around. | SIVA::MACDONALD | | Tue Apr 17 1990 11:25 | 10 |
|
Hi Cal,
Hang in there. As a good friend is fond of saying: "If you throw
a red ball against a wall, you get a red ball back." Your ex's
"red ball" will be coming back someday with interest. You can bet
on that.
Steve
|
| 34.13 | A little longer.. | HBO::CALCAGNI | A.F.F.A | Wed Apr 18 1990 10:59 | 7 |
|
Steve,
I just keep on saying.. Two years, two years!!
Cal.
|
| 34.14 | Living well, the BEST revenge | BENONI::JIMC | illegitimi non insectus | Fri Dec 28 1990 09:56 | 12 |
| First of let me acknowledge that this is well after the fact, but I
just got here 8-). I would like to know how it all came out.
Second: Wedding, how about graduation. My eldest will soon graduate
from High School. We have already heard that her mother does not want
anyone from my side of the family and especially ME there. Mel, on the
other hand just asked me to let her know how many tickets to get for
this side of the family (I do have good kids). My ex sounds much like
Cal's, but, I can say that the bouncing red ball is already headed back
her way and I have not had to demean myself or use my children for that
to happen. It is really hard sometimes, but patience will out. I
still believe that living well is the best revenge.
|