Conference quark::mennotes

261.0. "Ann Landers on justice" by JAMIN::GOBLE () Fri Mar 21 1997 16:42

The Boston Globe

Friday, March 21, 1997

WIFE WRECKS FAMILY, NOW WANTS CUSTODY

Dear Ann Landers:

    After seven years of marriage
(we have a beautiful 6-year-old son),
my wife has decided that she cannot
"be her own person" with me. She
claims she feels boxed in and has no
time for friends, and it's my fault. I
have been a faithful, hard-working
husband and a good father who did
most of the cooking, cleaning, and
food shopping and paid all the bills.

    We went for counseling, but she
blamed me for all our troubles, in-
cluding the affair she had with Mr.
X, our next-door neighbor. She told
the counselor I drove her to it and
admitted taking our son to play with
Mr. X's son five or six days a week
so she could see Mr. X as much as
possible. She also instructed our son
not to tell Daddy because he might
get mad.

    Now that she has broken my
heart and torn our family apart, she
wants custody of our son. I have
spoken to several attorneys who all
say I have no chance to win in court.
I understand this happens to men all
the time. Is there no justice? Will
this ever change? Or am I looking in
the wrong places for help?

			MARGATE, FLA.

    Some women are going to call me
a traitor, but my readers tell me men
often get treated unfairly when it
comes to custody battles.

    The notion that children are al-
ways better off with their mother is
not true. Some fathers are much
more responsible and caring (you
sound like one), and the children
would fare batter with their dad.

    Many fathers have written to say
the child support money is not being
spent on the child -- witness torn
shoes and worn-out jackets and
jeans. To the men out there who are
not being treated fairly, I say don't
give up, for the sake of your chil-
dren. And get a lawyer who has a re-
cord of success in such cases.