Conference quark::mennotes

    My favorite unwritten rule is:

    There are two rules for success in life:
    
    1. Don't tell people everything you know.
    
    

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world
into two kinds of people, and those who don't...

Actually, there are three kinds of people in the world,
those who can count,
and those who can't.

-s

    ....never pee on an electric fence..
    
    ....never speak badly of your boss... words get around.;)
    
    ....never play your electric gutar in the bath tub, in lightning
    storms,..:)
    

Regarding the base note.  I hate to tell you this, but your unwritten rule
is written in the Bible - almost word for word, and was spoken by Jesus
himself. ;^)
- Ed Cox

    RE .6
    
    Oh oh. I can't accuse Jesus of plagarism can I? ;)
    
    			-Jim-

I think he said the first two in .5 too....;-) ;-)

tim

    
    Never put the bats in the bag before the game is over......

    
    never touch another mans rhubarb
    
    
    

UWR# 400 - He who dies with the most toys wins

UWR# 400 - He who dies with the most toys wins

UWR# 401 - He who dies with the most toys is dead.

    

unwritten and unwritable.

    ...always say sir to the cop who is giving you a ticket for speeding.
    Never say,"Hey dude your momma eats cat litter", and expect to get a
    break.
    
    ...when farting in public, never shake your pant leg.;) And always say
    that there is a passing duck and point to something in the sky. Even
    inside buildings.

    
    Girls are made of sugar and spice and everyting nice.
    Boys are made of snakes and snails and puppy-dog tails.
    
    
    
    
    
    Naaaaaahhhhhhhttt!!!
    
    fred();

    Passed on to me by a friend:
    
    "Never call an MDC cop an 'asshole'"
    
    - M

    ....never stick your toung on cold metal. Like rot iron fences, or well
    pumps, or flag poles.;;;)
    
    ....never throw gum on the same floor your walking on. Esp barefooted.
    
    ....never fart and expect your wife to take the blame for it.

Some unwritten (until now) rules I can think of:

1)	Speed limit is really 70, even though the signs say 55.

2)	If you want to be friendly, do not start with "hello".  Always start
	with something about the weather, for example:  "Can you believe this
	cold weather ?".

3)	When in an elevator, do not smile at anyone, and do not say hello.
	Stare up at the changing numbers above the door.

4)	If someone asks you "how you doing" or "how are you", always say
	"fine" or "can't complain".  Don't really tell them how you are.

/Eric

    
    
    Hot iron looks like cold iron (so be carfule where you put your
    bare hands or feet).
    
    fred();

    re: .18
>4)	If someone asks you "how you doing" or "how are you", always say
>	"fine" or "can't complain".  Don't really tell them how you are.
    
    	This is obviously a cultural thing. A Frenchman will immediately
    launch into details of his most recent operation or "crise de foie",
    even if not very recent.
    
    5) Never ask a Frenchman "how are you?".

    Don't eat yellow snow.
    
    b
    

    Dont eat snow that glows...;)

    
    If you must pick your nose, do not stick boogers on flush levers.
    
    Remember, those pink unrinal cakes are *not* breath mints.
    
    Detach moon-floss prior to leaving the stall.
    
    Never pick up anything dropped on the floor

    Ok, if we are going to be gross here then try this one:
    
    Please don't put your butts in the urinal, it makes them hard to light.

    Walls have ears ...

We need to acknowledge that these unwritten rules fall into two parts, the
serious ones and the unserious ones.

Even within ones that are "true", some are not serious.

For example:


	Teenagers are not allowed to wear hats or gloves.  It's not "in".
	Instead, put hands in pockets, scrunch up the shoulders, and complain
	about how cold it is.  For example:   "Sh*t it's f*ckin cold out here!"


This unwritten law, of course, is a corollary to a more general law:

	Teenagers are not allowed to do that which their parents suggest,
	especially if it makes sense.

/Eric

    Another in the line:
    
    	Kids only wear hats *inside* buildings.
    
    	Kids wear size 3x shirts so they can keep their hands up the sleeves,
    	and of course, the cuffs won't accomodate wearing gloves.
    
    /Bob

    Rule for teenagers: NEVER appear impressed by anything involving the 
    'older generation' (anyone over 18).
    
    Jeff

    Those who can't do, teach.
    Those wo can't teach, teach gym.
    
    You can't have everything, where would you put it.

I always heard it...

Those who cannot teach, teach teachers!

    and the corrolary:
    
    Those who can do; those who can't, manage;
    those who can't manage, manage managers.
    
    ed

    >Those who can do; those who can't, manage;
    >those who can't manage, manage managers.
    
    And those who can't manage managers get promoted to VP.

    Never pass up free food.
    
    Never pass up a chance to use the bathroom.
    
    			Alfred

    
    or a chance to fill the gas tank or get the evening paper.

    ...and the natural corollary to .34: there's no such thing as a free
    lunch.
    
    tim
    

    
    ... don't eat too many Jelly Beans on 1 day ....
    
    Birgit