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Conference quark::mennotes

Title:Discussions of topics pertaining to men
Notice:Please read all replies to note 1
Moderator:QUARK::LIONELE
Created:Thu Jan 21 1993
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:268
Total number of notes:12755

62.0. "The UNmanly adventure" by CALS::DESELMS (Opera r�lz) Mon May 03 1993 14:38

    Let's talk about the more scary adventures of being a man:

    - Places where men go with doe-eyed caution and leave as quickly as
      possible, wiping the sweat from their brow.

    - Things that men are genetically not capable of doing without the help
      of a woman.
 
    For me:
	Clothes shopping.
	Ironing. (I tried to iron a shirt the other day. It took me fifteen
	    minutes and it still had wrinkles when I gave up.)

    - Jim
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62.1I've been *there*!MORO::BEELER_JEImpeach Clinton !Mon May 03 1993 15:176
.0> - Places where men go with doe-eyed caution and leave as quickly as
.0> possible, wiping the sweat from their brow.

WOMANNOTES?

Bubba
62.2QUARK::LIONELFree advice is worth every centMon May 03 1993 15:183
The only thing I can think of in the second category is "having a baby".

			Steve
62.3BUSY::DKATZI unpacked my adjectives...Mon May 03 1993 15:404
    I dunno, Steve -- from my own observations, "flushing" is a pretty
    strong contender for number 2...
    
    Daniel
62.4HANNAH::OSMANsee HANNAH::IGLOO$:[OSMAN]ERIC.VT240Mon May 03 1993 16:1616
>    I dunno, Steve -- from my own observations, "flushing" is a pretty
>    strong contender for number 2...
>    
>    Daniel

	2 indeed !  We have a little poem about it so we all remember to
	not overload the small septic system at my parent's summer house:

		If it's yellow, let it mellow
		If it's brown, flush it down


	/Eric


62.58-)BUSY::DKATZI unpacked my adjectives...Mon May 03 1993 16:413
    oh, gad...didn't even notice the pun!
    
    Daniel
62.6Not doe eyed mor like goggle eyed :-)ESSB::PHAYDENIt's not how long it takes but how well you do it ...Tue May 04 1993 06:2313
    
   > - Places where men go with doe-eyed caution and leave as quickly as
   >   possible, wiping the sweat from their brow.
    
    Did you ever join an all female arerobics class by mistake ?
    
    It was my first day to head down to the college gym and I was supposed
    to meet the guys for a work out. All I did was to go into the wrong
    room at the wrong time and the rest is history.  OH YEAH !!!
    
    I made some great friends that year :-)
    
    
62.7More fun then rabiesGLDOA::KATZFollow your conscienceTue May 04 1993 09:283
    re: Places where men go with doe-eyed caution and leave
    
    Victoria's Secret. 
62.8AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaTue May 04 1993 09:401
    Getting divorced!:) Cannot do that with outa woman!:) 
62.9Victoria's Secret - that's heaven isn't it ?GYMAC::PNEALTue May 04 1993 09:486
What ? You mean you don't like Victoria's Secret ? That's a man's paradise !!. 
I love choosing undies for the wife. I've found silk to be the best - they don't
tear so easily as cotton...you see I like pulling them down with my teeth.

- Paul (but you can call me Perv)
62.10GYMAC::PNEALTue May 04 1993 09:5825
How about ....

	..... the Gynaecologists.












P.S. Ever heard this one ..

	Q: How does a Gynaecologist decorate his hallway ?

	A: Through the letter box.


P.P.S. There's probably a cultural problem there as you don't have letter boxes
in America. Do you have hallways ?

62.11Omit me from these placesSTOWOA::RONDINATue May 04 1993 10:5110
    Places I beat a hasty retreat from:
    
    Fabric Stores
    Gift shops, especially the kind with aromatic odors that gag me.
    Christmas Tree Shops, too many people saying: "Oh, that's cute!"
    Perfume Counters at large stores, especially if the clerk looks like
       Fifi La Plume
    Craft Fairs
    Kid's Clothing Stores
    
62.12what a dull boy you must beVAXWRK::STHILAIREa sense of wonderTue May 04 1993 11:507
    re .11, I can see that you're no fun!!   :-)
    
    How about antique shows and jewelry stores???  Those are my personal
    favs.  
    
    Lorna
    
62.13SMURF::BINDERDeus tuus tibi sed deus meus mihiTue May 04 1993 12:132
    Antique shows are like the Maelstrom.  I cannot go into one without a
    life preserver, lest I never resurface.
62.14Next hot needles under the fingernails there's...CSC32::HADDOCKDon't Tell My Achy-Breaky BackTue May 04 1993 12:1411

    Shopping!

    I go to buy something I go to the store, get it, check out, and leave.

    My wife wants to examine every item in the store whether or not she just 
    examined it yesterday.  In the interest of keeping our marriage 
    together, I _refuse_ to go shopping with her.

    fred();
62.15GroceriesSALEM::GILMANTue May 04 1993 12:3418
    Grocery Shopping.  If I want to get into a fight with my wife grocery
    shopping is the place it happens.
    
    We have completely different priorities on:
    
    1. What to buy
    2. How much to spend
    3. How fast to shop
    
    In short completely incompatible in that context.
    
    I shop fast, she shops slowly.
    I buy 'needed' items, she buys 'frivilous' items.
    She spends alot, I spend as little as possible.
    
    We do grocery shopping seperately.
    
    Jeff
62.16AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaTue May 04 1993 13:465
    
    Food shopping!:) Welp. I always take my daughter!:) WE shop till we
    drop! Mall madness! Mall maniac!
    
    
62.17TOLKIN::DUMARTMon May 17 1993 12:0012
    ....for the record......I have to say that not all women like to shop.
    I know it sounds like blaspheme but I have to confess. I hate shopping
    with a passion. When I go shopping (which is rare) , if I don't find
    what I'm looking for right away I LEAVE THE STORE!
    Now my son loves to shop (with my money of course). I'll go to the car
    and read a book while I wait for him. We don't shop together because...
    to him anyways...it's obvious that I do not even come close to the
    same sense of clothes he has.
    
    However I do love food shopping...we're not all perfect.
    
    Paula
62.18it's the worstPENUTS::DDESMAISONSMon May 17 1993 17:509
 >>   I know it sounds like blaspheme but I have to confess. I hate shopping
 >>   with a passion. When I go shopping (which is rare) , if I don't find
 >>   what I'm looking for right away I LEAVE THE STORE!

	You and me, kid.  Hate it.

	Di

62.19Shopping = YUKKK!KALE::ROBERTSThu May 20 1993 10:527
    re .-1
    
    Yeah, me too!  Shopping is the PITS!  I hate it, and I particularly
    hate malls.  Course, then there's art supply stores, and saddlery
    stores.....   But that's different!  8^)
    
    -ellie
62.20AgreedFUNYET::ANDERSONOpenVMS Forever!Thu May 20 1993 11:5310
Shopping malls are the worst thing I can imagine.  Most of them are 90% clothing
stores, so who cares?

But a mall with computer stores and stereo stores and CD stores and video
stores, now there's a mall I might go to.  But I still prefer to do shopping,
when I do it, at real stores on real streets in real towns that you don't have
to drive to and park in a big lot and feel that you're just a pawn of corporate
America.

Paul
62.21Marine HardwareSALEM::GILMANThu May 20 1993 15:233
    Malls, uck.  Give me a marine hardware store anyday.
    
    Jeff
62.22I'd shop HERE!VMSMKT::KENAHAnother flashing chance at blissThu May 20 1993 16:056
    How about a mall for men?  A hardware store, electronics store, 
    computer store, sporting goods store, record store, a Sears 
    (but just the tool department), bookstore, (and for some of
    us) an art supply store, and a stationery store.
    
    					andrew
62.23VMSMKT::KENAHAnother flashing chance at blissThu May 20 1993 16:051
    Oh yeah, how could I forget -- a lumber yard!
62.24and a smoker's shop (pipes, cigars)TNPUBS::STEINHARTBack in the high life againThu May 20 1993 17:011
    
62.25i love mallsVAXWRK::STHILAIREFood, Shelter & DiamondsThu May 20 1993 17:024
    re .22, ooooh, the Sears tool department - my *least* favorite!  :-)
    
    Lorna
    
62.26The Mall for MenFUNYET::ANDERSONOpenVMS Forever!Fri May 21 1993 11:165
The Mall for Men would have no clothing stores, no places that served tofu or
sprouts, would play no background music, and have a Taco Bell.  Newbury Comics,
Tower Records, Tweeter Etc., and Home Depot would be the anchors.

Paul
62.27The Mall for Men, pfui!SMURF::BINDERDeus tuus tibi sed deus meus mihiFri May 21 1993 11:3212
    Re the Mall for Men
    
    Well, then, I guess I'll just have to keep going to the Mall for Women,
    where I can buy the clothing and kitchen utensils I require. 
    
    Mexican fast food is an oxymoron, so I'll keep getting my tacos at
    Shorty's Road House, where I can also get wicked good Margaritas after
    a hot day of shopping.  Newbury Comics' selection of classical music is
    a joke, at least here in Nashua, and Tower often doesn't have the
    esoteric stuff I want, like the Tallis Scholars' Missa in Gallicantu,
    so I'll stick with HMV.  And of course a trip to Hahvahd Square also
    nets me Crate and Barrel and Wordsworth and the Coop...
62.28NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Fri May 21 1993 11:343
re .27:

Who let the yuppie in?
62.29IAMOK::KELLYRoad Trip to OzFri May 21 1993 11:389
    I'd do some shopping at the mall for men :-)
    
    Actually, I hate shopping unless it is for home type stuff.
    And I hate just walking around a mall aimlessly.  I know 
    what I need to buy and I buy it.  The frustrating thing is
    when you can't find what you want and have to store hop.
    
    Mr. Binder...where is this Shorty's?  Is it in NH?  I'm in
    Litchfield and not impressed with the place on DWH.......
62.30VMSMKT::KENAHAnother flashing chance at blissFri May 21 1993 11:403
    Shorty's is on Route 101 in Bedford, NH.
    
    					andrew
62.31in the dreck of winterTNPUBS::STEINHARTBack in the high life againFri May 21 1993 11:5512
    What I hate is when it's winter, the weather is too wet for walking
    outside, and the only place to walk is in the mall.  So you end up
    wandering around just to have someplace to stretch your legs, see
    people, and have something (even if innane) to look at.
    
    Though since my daughter started walking, I cut way back on these
    expeditions.  After a thousand "No, don't touch" admonitions and 
    a couple of sit-down strikes on the filthy floor, I got very turned
    off.  On the plus side, she adores riding the escalators.  Come next
    winter, she'll want to buy everything she sees.
    
    Laura
62.32IAMOK::KELLYRoad Trip to OzFri May 21 1993 12:091
    thank you Andrew
62.33I ain't no yuppie, I'm a crotchety old SOB.SMURF::BINDERDeus tuus tibi sed deus meus mihiFri May 21 1993 12:353
    There is also a Shorty's in the north end of Manchester, on Rte 3.  The
    original in Litchfield is no longer the best of the three, by any fair
    measure.  Too bad.
62.34Harvard Square!FUNYET::ANDERSONOpenVMS Forever!Fri May 21 1993 16:588
re a few back:

Harvard Square!  Fortunately I live a short ten-minute trolleybus ride away and
do most of my shopping there.  Actually it has all the prerequisites I mentioned
earlier except a Taco Bell and a Home Depot, although it has much better
substitutes for tacos-with-iceburg-lettuce.  Plus Urban Outfitters.

Paul
62.35IdeasSALEM::GILMANMon May 24 1993 15:3214
    One of the anchors could be a combination boating sales/supplies
    store like Bliss Marine, or West Marine, and in the winter it
    would specialize in skimobiles etc.
    
    There should be a welding supplies store, a Taylor Rental, auto
    parts, and a SCUBA supply store, and a heavy duty camping supply
    store which carried a SMALL line of outdoor clothing but mostly
    nuts and bolts stuff of camping and maybe ONE bookstore which
    specialized in 'manly' subjects (see list of topics above).
    
    OUT would be clothing stores, boutiques, cosmetics, jewely stores,
    cooking supplies, fabric stores, Jordan Marsh, Filenes etc.
    
    Jeff
62.36SMURF::BINDERDeus tuus tibi sed deus meus mihiMon May 24 1993 15:574
    As a person who cares about forests and wildlife, I cannot express here
    the depth of my revulsion at the mention of skimobiles in this context.
    Putting them in the category of "guy toys" is repugnant to every fibre
    of my being.
62.37All in how you look at it.SALEM::GILMANMon May 24 1993 16:5612
    Well there are various interests within the context of 'guy toys'. 
    I don't have a skimobile but I know others enjoy them.  I do have a
    power boat and some consider them the water equivalent of skimobiles.
    If were doing away with guy toys which have a negative impact on the
    environment then we should do away with recreational private plane
    flying too.
    Certainly any guy toy can be used to be benefit the environment.
    
    The skimobilers sometimes pick up litter and keep an eye on closed
    winter camps as well as litter and break into camps.
    
    Jeff
62.38GRANMA::MWANNEMACHERBeing a Daddy=The best jobMon May 24 1993 17:068
    RE: .36
    
    
    You get the academy award for overreactions.  
    
    
    
    Mike
62.39QUARK::LIONELFree advice is worth every centMon May 24 1993 17:1213
For myself, I could do without the boat store or anything sports-related.
I'd add back in the cooking store, a large bookstore (ala Barnes and Noble),
definitely a big CD store ala Tower, a Brookstones, the Sears Craftsman
department, a GOOD consumer electronics store with the latest stuff,
a Sharper Image, Home Depot and stores that sell otherwise uncategorizable
"neat stuff" (ala Macro Polo in Portsmouth, NH).

I like shopping and I don't mind malls at all, though I do think they tend
to have just a few too many women's clothing and shoe stores.  (But I suppose
the "man's mall" would want to have a Victoria's Secret, right?  (Without
the choking perfume in the air, please!)

					Steve
62.40AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaWed May 26 1993 13:321
    .38 I'll second that!