Conference quark::mennotes

    
    Huh?
    

I went to an excellent presentation last night by a Nashua area lawyer who
has specialized in divorce and custody cases for the past twelve years.
Some of the things she said:

	If you have a support order requiring you to pay support, and
	the circumstances change (such as the kids are now living with
	you), you should immediately file for a revision in the support
	order.  You may not decide on your own (or even with your ex's
	agreement) to stop paying the support.  She said that she had
	such a case and got the change retroactive to when she filed the
	motion, but the dad had sat on his duff for months, needlessly
	paying support.

	Two wrongs don't make a right - you cannot and should not withhold
	support payments to compensate for perceived wrongs such as
	problems obtaining visitation.  (The reverse is also true - don't
	withhold visitation as a punishment.)  The courts hold visitation
	and support to be separate.

					Steve

    In Mr. Littleton case, it was the courts that sat on their duffs about
    invoking the change of child support. And the courts who were arguing
    with us the issue of child support vs alimony/maintence in the terms of
    the contents. 
    
    .1 Sorry, I guess there was much left out of the contents of the base
    note. Its a long story. Long of the short, I have custody of my 5 year
    old daughter. And he now has custody of his kids. And was spoofing
    about shopping for dress's together. Imagine, if you can, a 250lb, 6'2"
    waiding thru little girls dress rack.;) kinda out of contents. I got
    lots of odd looks. And a look of re-esurance from the clerk. For she
    was reading in the good things behind my shopping spree.;)

    

    IMHO one of the things every non-custodial parent should know is 
    how to file the papers for reduction of child support.  In most
    cases where there is need for reduction of child support, there
    is also no money to pay a lawyer.  Without a court order to change
    the amount, the child support becomes a debt and can be collected
    later under standard debt collection procedures.  In most courts,
    the judge will allow the change to go into effect from the time
    of filing the papers, but will not allow the change in amount
    from the time of change-of-circumstance if no papers have been
    filed.

    fred();

    
    
    Hey George,
    
    When I read your note it made me smile.  I'm so glad things
    are going well with you and your little one.  Don't know if
    you have any type of situation available to yourself or not,
    but you might try a clothing swap with other guys in your
    position.  Friends of mine with little kids often will get
    together about 2-3 months apart and swap clothes.  Not sure
    if this is something that is still confined to just women or
    if Dad's have started any of these swaps.  Saves alot of money
    in the end, and you end up with very good quality clothes with
    no monies changing hands.  Just something to think about!!
    
    Michele

    Michele,
    
    Things are well with the two of us. She is one of dads favorite fans
    when it comes to shaving. She watchs me shave and helps with shaking
    the can of suds.:) Then poors out the cream. One morning, she cought me
    by suprise with a high five into a hand of shaving cream. She giggled,
    fell off the stool. And I was covered with shaving cream.:)
    
    Anyhow, yes, I know of a few places. But they are closed and they are
    hard to get ahold of during the days. I need to join a group of folks
    who are willing to trade good duds for good duds.:) Just gave away a
    $50 dress that she wore a couple of times. Black valore, with white
    lace, and a rose bud in/under the chin.;) A couple of years ago,
    if someone said that I would be up to my eyeballs in little girl
    dress's, pressing them, ironing them, and making sure she fits them. I
    would say that they were mad as a hatter.:) 
    
    I would be very happy if yha knew of some places around that were open
    later than 5pm weekdays and weekends.:)
    
    Presssed for good girly cloths,
    
    George

    RE:  .6
    
    Don't know where you live and work, but assuming you are in southern NH
    or northern MA, here are some places I shop for my toddler's all-
    important "pretty dresses":
    
    Consignment stores
    ------------------
    
    In Acton MA, Kids and Kaboodle.  I don't think they have evening hours,
    though...
    
    Many locations, including Manchester NH, The Children's Orchard.
    
    You must pick through many worn clothes, but you can find gems.  You
    can also get those crucial fancy shoes, cheap.  Plus barettes and other
    doo-dads.
    
    Retail
    ______
    
    Kids R' Us.  
    
    Mall department stores.  I think it was Filene's that had many dresses.
    
    The Easter dresses should be on sale now, all fine for spring-summer.
    
    Catalogs
    ________
    
    No names offhand, but I recommend that you post an inquiry in
    PARENTING, in the "Where can I find?" note.
    
    Hand me downs
    _____________
    
    You can post a wantad note in PARENTING.   I'm sure some people will be
    willing to sell, swap, or hand-me-down clothing, either in person or by
    mail.  
    
    Ask your friends who have older daughters.  You'd be surprised what
    gets squirreled away.  Often people just need to know that you are glad
    to accept the stuff.  Same thing for boys' clothes too!
    
    I do this a lot.  Keeps my clothing expenses down.  Just be prepared to
    treat stains and wash the stuff to get it really clean.  My daughter is
    picky, but with clothing from 3 different kids, we can assemble a
    wardrobe and give the rest to Goodwill.  The donors don't mind - I'm
    helping them by taking bags of stuff off their hands.
    
    Yard Sales
    __________
    
    If you have the patience.  Don't go unless the newspaper ad specifies
    children's clothing.  The toys are the best buys.  Sometimes you get
    lucky.  Same goes for flea markets.
    
    Tips on cleaning
    ________________
    
    I'm surprised that you iron.  If you wash the dresses in cold or warm
    water (after treating spots first with a laundry spot remover),  dry
    them on the delicate cycle, pull them out as soon as they dry, and hang
    them right away, you shouldn't get wrinkles.  I very rarely iron
    my girl's dresses.
    
    To make the tights last longer, put them into a mesh bag (sold with
    laundry supplies) for both wash and dry.  Overdrying delicate clothes
    causes wear.
    
    L

    
    they had some great kids clothes last time I looked at both Salvation
    Army Thrift Stores in Fitchburg and Worcester.  I know there are many
    other stores in other towns, but those are the ones I frequent most.
    
    -Jody
    

    Thank God for Salvation Army, Goodwill Industries, yard sales, etc.
    Else my kids would have been hard pressed for cloths when they
    were growing up.  I have this thing against paying almost the price
    of a dress for a grown-up as I would have to for a new dress for
    little girls.  For a dress that they grow out of in 3 months to boot.
    'Cept their teanagers now and a little bit harder to fool that it 
    came from the Mall instead of the yard sale %^}.

    fred()

    Thanks guys for the tips! I will persue the info. I have a couple of
    places to check. And your right. Pretty dress's for little girls are 
    most important. She loves to dress up. 

George, make sure you get her some jeans to roughhouse in, too.

DougO

    DougO,
    
    No problem with jeans. She is a growing little girl. She stands head
    and shoulders amongst her class.:) She is 5 and the mean is the size of
    an 8 year old.:)

    Hello All,
            Has anybody had any experience or maybe provide a pointer so
    I can gather some information on filing for divorce myself? My wife
    and I are on fairly good terms so a blood-sucker (lawyer) should'nt
    be necessary.
    
                                Thanks,
                                 Bob

    There is a chain store doc-u-self. For a small feel you can get stuff
    tehre or go to your local district or superior court and get the paper
    work there to fill out. Esp if it is a non contested divorce. 
    
    �so a blood-sucker (lawyer) should'nt be necessary.
    
    They seldom are unless you get down to the final stroke of the pen and
    she decides to have a change of heart in the terms and conditions. 
    But I will concure with your description of the profession. It seems
    they grow like lice, rats, and other lower members of the food chain
    when it comes to this and during recessions as a whole.
    
    Peace, love, and surand wrap
    
    

>For a small feel [...]

 ;-)

I took a $50 course at the Boston Center for Adult Education.  In two weeks,
they explained and distributed the forms needed to file for divorce.  It was a
real cheery class!  That $50 plus $50 filing fee was the total cost of my
divorce in 1984.

Paul

Just keep in mind that if you have children or any substantial assets,
that you should consider a lawyer to be a requirement, or else you'll likely
have no end of grief for many years to come.

				Steve

    
    
    
    
    
    re: .17
    
    You might consider having a lawyer review your documents before
    presenting them to the court. My future-ex (a lawyer herself, with
    no background in family law) and I are drawing up our own agreement and
    will have it reviewed by an attorney before submitting it in court.
    This can potentially save the time required to schedule a second
    hearing, if there are any deficiences in your agreement.  They can also
    point out important agreements that we as novices would overlook, for
    example - agreeing how to split tax deductions on jointly held
    property or for the children. 
    
    Another alternative, if you run into any thorny issues, is a mediator.
    They can be expensive if you look at the hourly rate, but relatively
    cheap if you look at the small number of hours required, and the
    alternatives that they might provide that both of you may overlook.
    
    			one who is going through the same thing,
    			- Joe

    Mr. Littletons update. He has bought out his ex for the house, he has
    custody of the children, he Pays child support to his ex who just
    married her beau that she has been carring on an adultrous affair with,
    and it just doesnt get any better than this!;}
    
    Mean time, there have been meetings in the southern N.H. area
    discussing how to make divorces more fair and humane...... Kinda like
    an oximoron eha? ;]
    
    And self?? Welp...... After a 3 year divorce where I have recieved
    custody, child support, and a quick claim to the marrital property. I
    filled bankruptcy last fall. Under a chapter 13.... I will be able to
    keep the roof over my head. 'Just doesnt get any better than this'.
    
    Peace, Love, and lawyers

    Another local man has been jailed in the Granite state. Behind in his
    child support. The amount of child support is greater than he is able
    to pay or live on even at a megar level of existance.
    
     So in the local sunday paper of the states largest paper you will find
    our local boy and support.
    
    
    
    d S e em s li    ke the only way to ,al   hai.
    
     
    

    
    perhaps its expected that he terminate himself so the insurance
    proceeds can be applied to the arrears...
    

    They want his life insurance. He is worth more dead than he is alive
    either in or out of the Gray Bar Motel. One of the saddest parts of
    the game.

re: 56.20-22

	Your notes are interesting, but VERY sparse on details.    The
story would be better if you included details like how much he was
earning when support was ordered, and how much he was supposed to pay, and
how far he was behind and why.

	I don't know anything about this case, and maybe the individual is
getting a raw deal, or maybe he is angry and has set himself up.    There
have been cases where a man quit a high paying job to avoid paying
child support.   The courts are rumored to take a dim view of this.
There are also rumors that now some judges have been somewhat understanding
of men who get laid off.

hope this helps

    
    slavery is still illegal, as are debtor prisons.
    
    'course nothing is too much when it comes to putting 
    the squeeze on wuthless deadbeat fathas.

    Doesn't it make anyone wonder why someone would quit a high paying
    job just to avoid child support payments?????  Kind of makes me think
    that the court gave away so much of his income that it didn't pay him
    to keep the job any more.....After you give 33% to taxes and 33% plus
    insurance etc. etc. to child support, plus spend money to keep the kids
    when they are with you, plus buy work clothes and pay for a work vehicle,
    it must not leave enough to bother living....and certainly doesn't hold
    any hope for the future depending upon the age or ages of the kids when
    the support order is hatched.  Oh, and don't forget that mom often gets
    the house, ever try to buy a house with 33% of your income missing, or
    have any kind of a life?  What if you have custody of some of the kids
    and the judge still gives the mother the house and 33% of your paycheck
    for the one she has left? This happens today!  How about you get the
    kids but you still have to pay mom child support, or alimony......Whats
    wrong with this picture?

    Try doing this for up to 18 years, and every time the opportunity
    strikes the ex can take you back to court and they can up the amount by 
    the amount of raises you've gotten, so you can't even hope to improve in 
    the future.

    I'd say all of these things collectively would be sufficient to make me
    want to quit a high paying job and move into the underground economy
    so I could survive, let alone have a life.
     
    And you don't usually hear these stories because the fathers who are
    living in this court ordered hell don't talk much about it in front of
    people without understanding who are calling them deadbeats.....

    I've no doubt there are real honest to goodness deadbeats around.....I
    doubt very seriously they are Corporate fathers working for companies
    like DEC. If they work here the court system and DOR are fleecing them!

    IMHO When the court system has become so unfair that fathers must give
    up good jobs and work under the table just to survive, I think a change
    is needed very quickly......I believe the state of Massachusetts is
    already at that point, I suspect New Hampshire isn't far behind!

    These states need to wake up and realize they are going to have the
    fathers on welfare along with the mothers.  Kind of defeats the purpose
    of redistribution of wealth when you break the bank, or cause the
    fathers to quit their jobs because they can't afford to keep them.

    Back in the days when Child support payments were about the size of a
    car payment, anyone who didn't pay was a deadbeat, but with the typical
    amounts being ordered today from corporate fathers, I'm not sure why
    any of them bother to keep working in this stress for the small amount
    of money they get to take home.

    Worse yet, as a tax payer I am horrified at the tax money the state of
    Massachusetts is spending to track down fathers and enforce support
    payments when most of this work could be eliminated by the court system
    being equitable with property division and fair minded about support
    payments......One more example of costly, useless government
    bureaucracy.  George Orwell would have been proud of this State!

    
    on the other hand it gives the oppressed something to cheer
    at when the poor sot decides to eat his gun.

    .23
    
    I am trying to find the article. But, there are men put in positions
    that cannot in any way shape or form make the payments that are
    sometimes required from him. Sorry if my reports are sparce. I have now
    gained a modem on my pc and now can write in after hours without
    getting in trouble. 
    
    There was a man who had his business sold off to pay her attornies, and
    other such tom foolery. He could not make a wadge that he was expected
    to do. Got a job in a local junk yard at min wadge. And because of
    this, he was tossed into jail too. His tools to make his living were
    sold. He installed, amd maintained pools in the middle part of NH.
    He  made ruffly $60k a year. And that is dam good money around here.
    Now he barely made $10k and he was told by the court system to go out
    and earn more.Geeze!!With what tools? They were sold. The business went
    to chapter 7. And he is now working two jobs. One in the junk yard, the
    second inMcDonalds. 
    
    The Mr. Littleton case, well. Thats pretty streight forward, the courts
    done believe a man can have custody. We cannot care, nurture, or
    provide for children, ourselves. Heyjust send out for a pizza and get
    some beer, and lets watch foot ball on the ol tv. 
    
    How about the dead beat mom issues. The percentages of moms are greater
    in so far as non [paying than dads...
    Peace
    
    
    H
    ad
     d w e
    oward
      ie se o e d a nm  
    ubgr m 

    
    I have an example.  A guy I know had a $52K per year job.  He was laid
    off.  He now earns about $15K a year.  The judge has ordered a review
    hearing but this guy has to continoe paying the old amount ($600.mo for
    one child) until the hearing (November).  He was laid off in July.
    
    
    
    Mike

    Another man had inhereted a very large sum of money that he set up in a
    trust account. For his bio daughter to go to college on. How is $60k
    sound? Well, his ex, daughters mom, squandered all but a couple of
    grand. And took this man to court for relief, they wanted..... college
    tution and he was unemployed construstion worker at the time. Well, he
    got off the hook proved that the ex blew the money and the daughter got
    the short end of the stick. She now doesnt have the big cash pot to go
    to college with that was originally set aside. Guess she will have to
    wait on some tables like many of us. 
    
     Z
    aeGhe ut omdeto    

    re .29, it's possible to set up trust funds so that they can only be
    used to pay for college tuition.  Too bad he didn't do that.
    
    Lorna
    

    Further to .30, it is trivial and normal to set up a trust fund so that
    the beneficiary (and only the benificiary) can access it, and only when
    they are legally responsible (18). And even the beneficiary doesn't
    have to know it exists in advance. I believe my parents have done
    something like this to benefit my children and my sister's children. It
    is a common way of avoiding death duties, since if the money is tied
    into a trust fund at least 5 years before a person dies then it is not
    liable to tax (British law).
    
    	To be honest, I have a pretty good idea of what is going on, since
    my parents offered me the money, and for reasons of family politics I
    refused it, but I have no official notification that such a trust fund
    exists, and even if it does only my kids can draw on it.

    .30

    It was set up for college. But the ex became the trustee because she
    was the Custodial parent.

    Too bad she isn't doing time like a man would for embezzlement.

    re .32, I don't think the ex had to be the Trustee just because she was
    the custodial parent.  
    
    My uncle set-up a trust fund for my daughter, and neither myself or my
    ex-husband is a Trustee.  There are actually 3 trustees, none of which
    are relatives, and it is stipulated in the will that the money can only
    be used to pay for college tuition.  Otherwise, she sees no money, and
    if whe weren't going to college, the money would be forfeited. 
    (Thankfully she is going to college.)
    
    Lorna
    

    .33 Beats me. I know that I had consoled with him to help him with his
    case. It worked, he is off the hook. His daughter will have to wait on
    some tables like the rest of us. And have to go to a lesser brand name
    state college vs something bigger and better. Such is life.
    
    

    Just because the parents didn't have the foresight to get a special account
    set aside for college tuition doesn't mean the mother was right in
    squandering her kid's money, nor does it mean that the father was wrong
    in getting the type of account he did. (It was probably a joint decision
    anyway.)

    - Jim

   ... Or it was a decision handed down under a court order that spelled it
    out. Thus allowing the ex to put her mits on the interest as part of
    the game.

    re .35, of course it was wrong for the mother to squander the money.  I
    just think it's a shame that it hadn't been set-up differently so that
    it couldn't have happened.  That's all.
    
    Lorna
    

    >it's a shame that it hadn't been set-up differently
    
    I am sure that the daughter feels this way. I am sure her views on mom
    are not the same as they once were. 

.28> I have an example.
    
    For another example, see 858,* in IKE22::WOMANNOTES-V4.
    
    I see the original author went and deleted the basenote, but you can
    still follow the discussion.
    
    Basically, she wanted her ex-husband to pay more than 50% of his take-
    home pay for child support.  And, the kicker ... the ex-wife made more
    money than the guy and couldn't see why that should matter.
    
    Go read it, it's quite an eye-opener.

    Interesting WWW page
    
    
    http://www.netmundial.com/DADI/
    
    ==========================================================================
    
 Gerald Rowles, Ph.D.
**********************************************************
Douglas Heckman, M.A. 


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THE DIVORCE INDUSTRY

We believe that a DIVORCE INDUSTRY exists in our beloved
country. We call it an "Industry" because it produces and maintains
divorce in the same way that General Motors produces Chevies. Both
are industries that employ large numbers of people, and involve the
exchange of large amounts of money. The primary difference in the two
industries is that GM is a productive enterprise, while DI is a
destructive enterprise. 



Who Benefits From Divorce and Custody Fights?

   Bureaucrats who administer post-divorce consequences, such
   as the Friend of the Court (but not of the Dad); State
   bureaucracies and court systems that make a profit of $7,500
   for each child remanded to foster care; Social Service
   Agencies that aid the courts and investigate claims of child
   abuse (most often fraudulent) ... the Primary Custody
   Strategy of the 90's. 

   Militant Gender-Feminists who characterize all men as 
   potential, if not actual, batterers, rapists and pedophiles: 
   "All men are rapists and that's all they are" - Marilyn
   French, Author, "The Women's Room." 

   Lawyers: We are speaking only of those who - out of
   greed, or Feminist Political Agenda - see it as their job to
   create and maintain a hostile-adversarial climate that
   prevents any chance of reconciliation. 

   Mental Health Professionals: Those who are vigorously
   pursuing the "Victim Feminist" agenda and are biased to
   see males/Dads as potential rapists, pedophiles, and batterers
   without regard for objective evidence to the contrary. 

   Immature Spouses who lack the ability to make
   commitments; lack the ability to work in a "sharing"
   environment; refuse to accept responsibility for their
   behavior: "Women have been held down by men long
   enough! We demand free birth control and unlimited access
   to free abortions. We demand to have any type of sexual
   partner we desire. We demand an end to Church intrusion
   into our lives. And we demand free day care, an end to
   the patriarchal family, and a total reorganization of society
   and religion to satisfy our needs and our wants." (p.1., 
   "Neofeminism: Religion of Despair") "men are expected to be
   mature and accept the consequences of their actions, while
   women demand that they not be held to the same
   standards. They don't have to because they possess the great
   'social eraser' - abortion." (p.4., "Neofeminism: Religion of
   Despair") 

WHO LOSES ?

   KIDS, KIDS, and more KIDS: The children of divorce are
   at greater risk for drug abuse, violent acting-out,
   teen-pregnancy, depression, and suicide. 

   DADS: Suffer from prolonged anger and depression that
   comes from loss, and most frequently results in a kind of
   "paralysis of the spirit"; Financial penalties (beyond basic
   child support); Bureaucratic penalization or indifference such
   as no recourse for denied visitation by an angry and
   immature spouse; poorer job performance; shame and guilt
   feelings from the loss of their ability to protect their kids;
   ongoing legal involvement with courts; threats of
   imprisonment and/or public humiliation from totally
   unfounded allegations of abuse. 

   American Society: Devaluation of the traditional male
   Fatherhood role; loss of male role models, and real, not
   celebrity heroes; economic costs of child-violence,
   drug-abuse, and illegitimacy; loss of productivity from
   "paralysis of the spirit." 



DIVORCE IS THE PRIMARY FORM OF CHILD ABUSE IN
AMERICA TODAY!

AND DADS ARE TAKING THE RAP!





"Don't Pee on My Leg And Tell Me It's Raining"

 "I recently went to a series of seminars on child abuse. No
 lecturer, no expert offered any insight on how to spot false
 allegations of abuse. There were lots of hints on how to uncover
 sex abuse, from bed-wetting to doll therapy to music and art play,
 all the amorphous theories by self-styled advocates.
 But no one talked about how false allegations can ruin fathers and
 their children. A child wrongfully denied the love of a father is as
 much a travesty as a child forced to endure such abuse. 

 Even if trial judges have the courage to question allegations of
 sexual abuse, fathers are doomed if they push the issue in appelate
 courts. Those judges almost invariably play it safe, cutting off
 children from their fathers as a matter of course. It can take
 months to investigate such matters, and all the while we have
 deprived kids of the fundamental right to see their dads.

 I have given custody of children to fathers in most of the cases
 where mothers insist in making unfounded allegations of sexual
 abuse. If these women are prepared to torment their children and
 lie to the court simply to get control in a long-running family
 dispute, I consider them unfit to parent.

 WE WILL SEE MORE OF THESE PROBLEMS UNTIL
 FATHERS ORGANIZE TO DEMAND FAIRER TREATMENT.
 SO GET IT TOGETHER, DADS: YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE
 LEGAL BEEF AND YOU NEED TO MAKE THIS A PUBLIC
 ISSUE. 
 RIGHT NOW, THE COURTS DO NOT HEAR YOU".

 - J. Sheindlin: Author (AKA America's Toughest Family Court
 Judge)
 Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining 



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These pages are dedicated to all kids, but especially to Riana, Maia, and
Christopher. 
    

    One wonders if my good freind's ex, convicted of sexual assault on a
    minor by a person in a postion of trust is a member.  I have heard the
    same arguements from him.
    
    He raped his step daughter, and recently flunked the plasmystograph
    (sp) when asked why he suddenly became so interested in having
    unsupervised visits with his daughter from their marriage.  I realize
    most men aren't like him, but......
    
    
    
    

    
    I have found that men who care enough about their kids to join a group
    and really go out and fight to change things are rarely men who would
    harm their children.  It takes a _lot_ of caring and a _lot_ of
    motivation to put up with the C*%P that you have to put up with to 
    fight this fight.  

    fred();

RE Note 56.41
CSC32::M_EVANS  14-MAR-1996 22:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>    One wonders if my good freind's ex, convicted of sexual assault on a
>    minor by a person in a postion of trust is a member.  I have heard the
>    same arguements from him.
    
    Attempt to discredit the whole group from one ancedotal (sp) example?
    
    Any male who claims that he is falsely accused is lying?
    
    Would you agree that a woman who falsely brings child sexual charges 
    against  a man should get whatever punishment the man would have 
    gotten? 
    
    Right now there is no penality. Accuse away...
        
    
    Steve

    >I realize most men aren't like him, but.....
    
    but what? You have made your point made that men as a whole are a bunch
    of neanderthals in many other entries here.

    
  RE:   <<< Note 56.41 by CSC32::M_EVANS "It doesn't get better than......" >>>
    
  >>  One wonders if my good freind's ex, convicted of sexual assault on a
  >>  minor by a person in a postion of trust is a member.  I have heard the
  >>  same arguements from him.
      
  >>  He raped his step daughter, and recently flunked the plasmystograph
  >>  (sp) when asked why he suddenly became so interested in having
  >>  unsupervised visits with his daughter from their marriage.  I realize
  >>  most men aren't like him, but......
    
    
	There are a lot of trash notes scattered around the many notes
    files, but this has to be the least credible one I've seen in years.
    It is pathetic.
    
    
    Mike
    

Right.  But what, Ms. Evans?  How dare you insinuate such a
thing!

Speaking as a five-year custodial father, I'm fed up with this
kind of inuendo and the propagation of the popular stereotype
image that men who care about their children have alterior
motives...not to mention the generalization of that insinuation
that single fathers are inherently violent, alcoholic perverts
who only want their children so they have easy prey to victimize.
That's repulsive!

It only serves to support the sexist discrimination by many women
that good parenting is a gender-specific trait.  

The fact is there are just as many female losers in the world as
there are male losers, and attributing questionable motives of a
parent based on gender is simply unfair, unethical, immoral and
(at least should be) illegal.  

I found your implication highly offensive, and I suggest you
stick a sock in it.

tim

    Gee M_EVANS, I have seen on TV that some women have been convicted of
    the same crime you have described.  I realize most women aren't like
    that, but......  Oh and by the way, I have had sole custody of my son
    since he has been 12 years old and he is now 20.  So, I assume that you
    think that I must have been sexually abusing him.....  He's still living 
    at home.....  Must be all that abuse that keeps him around huh......
    
    Dom

    Best place to start 'Mike the Next door neighbor' files.:)
    
    Mike, if anyone has followed some of my entries, went to court a couple
    of weeks ago. He has pleaded 'not guilty' to the charges of driving
    with a suspended license. He is requesting a trial by jury. Either way
    he has lost. If he goes to jail, now he will have his child support
    suspended for some duration of time. And the state of NH will have to
    pick up the tab. If he is let off, which he is line-ing up his ducks
    with the DWI school, he hopes, very remotely, he will get to drive
    again and pay his child support. I guess, its a very very very long
    shot in his case. I have a feeling that he will go to jail for some
    amount of time. And the state will pick up the housning tab at $35,000
    per year to feed and house him. Plus the state looses two-thirds of his
    gross pay to offset the state supported children.
    
    Whats really smart.... is that his ex, who now lives in WV, lost the
    kids to the state cause SHE was drinking and left the kids un-a-tended
    in a bar... So, Mike has tried to get custody, and is not doing well
    with it all now. He has recieved a letter from West Virginia's DOR/DCYS
    that is stating that IF he relinquishes his parental rights (that money
    issue) he will NOT have to pay child support. For the state will put
    the children up for adoption, again the money issue. 
    
    The money issue is in lew of Suzannes remarks in a note stating if
    custody went to the parent with the most money then rich folks would go
    into slums and buy up kids. GEEZE! Isn't this the same sort of crap? 
    
    Mike isn't a saint, Mike makes mistakes like all of us. His real crime
    here is that he drove to work on a suspended drivers license to
    continue paying child support to see his CHILDREN. And that IF he falls
    behind, the state will now take his license, and suspend visation and
    etc. So, the guy has two option, one of course it to gamble. The second
    is to forget it. So he gambled, he wanted to pay his bills to live in
    his hovel, buy some beer and watch tv. He doesn't own a new car, its a
    14 year old chevy grung mobile. And his big thing is to save up for a
    trip to WV with a car full of Christmas presents and give them to his
    kids once a year. The ex doesn't have or doesn't want to have a phone.
    So mail is his only link, and he has doubts of that connection. So far
    in the 5-7 years, only one letter has he recieved from his kids.
    
    

    He is still trying to gain custody.