| There should _not_ be no-fault divorce unless _both_ parties agree
that there is no fault, but...
In today's courts, there is almost no such thing other than "no-fault"
divorce. Basically no-fault means that the woman has no-fault no matter
what. No matter what she's done, she'll likely get the kids, the house,
the car, and most of the assets.
What does this mean for men? It means that in most, if not all,
states, there is no legal protection whatsoever to protect you
from being served papers as you leave work today, and you can't
go home. She can move her boyfriend in to sleep in your bed and
drink your beer and there isn't diddley you can do about it. The
only thing you get to do is finance the situation for her via
alimony and "child support".
fred()
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| >> only thing you get to do is finance the situation for her via
>> alimony and "child support".
This may be the only thing that can be done after the fact but I
believe that anyone who suspects (even slightly) they are to be facing
a divorce/separation consider some options earlier. I offer the following
as random thoughts intended to provoke consideration.
o Reduce the equity in any property to an absolute minimum (not hard
today).
o Borrow on or eliminate any retirement plan possible 401K etc. .
o Insist that your wife work (full-time) if possible.
o Place any liquid funds in :
Irrevocable trusts for the kids
Hands of relatives
Foreign accounts
etc.
o Have a current power-of-attorney signed by your wife.
o When paying or structuring debt (school loans, personal etc.) pay
any attributable to you only first. When you borrowed money from your
parents to buy the first house -- guess who gets most of the equity
and who keeps the personal debt.
As a rule of thumb, net assets are subject to division (not equally
to be sure) unattached debt is not.
o Go to Radio Shack and obtain the necessary gear to tape your phone.
I suggest this so you can get as much warning as possible -- The
resultant tapes (and the knowledge of their existence) should be kept
private.
o Borrow against any marital property (virtually everything cars,
jewlery, etc.) and do everything possible to control the dispersed funds.
o Move out of MA.
o If you're considering returning to school or about to be granted an
advanced degree -- wait. Improved employment prospects obtained during
the marriage are very detrimental regardless of the funding
arrangement.
o Self-employed males tend to make out better in terms of both alimony
and child support awards.
o Maintain strict access to as many personal finance records as
possible. In the event of the first sign of real trouble -- remove
them or at the very least be sure you have equal access.
o Minimize the available funds in any account accessible by only one
party (checking, local savings etc.)
o Keep records of any credit cards carried by your wife in the event
immediate cancellation (report them as lost) is in order. In addition,
maintain at least one bank card (potentially a company card) on which
you are the only holder.
o Under almost no circumstance should you leave the marital house unless
ordered to do so by the authorities.
o File tax returns jointly even in the case where separately will save you
a few hundred bucks.
o Consult an attorney with a track record BEFORE she moves. Most people
are dumbfounded by the inequity involved, you need to hear first
hand before it completely unfolds.
o You can never be to paranoid with respect to the overwhelming legal
bias against you.
o The median middle class male has everything at risk in a divorce.
regards
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