T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
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816.2 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 10:59 | 20 |
| re 358.66
<I think that's a pretty non-standard definition of incest. Incest involves
<family members (exactly how that's defined varies from culture to culture).
<If two adult siblings (for example) have consensual sex, that's incest.
<Likewise, if a father rapes or seduces his minor daughter, that's incest.
<The former is probably not sexual abuse, the latter most certainly is.
The use of 'incest' to encompass those experiences recounted in .63, .65
is used by way of convenience by mental health professionals. Most books I
have read on the subject -and I have read many- typically specify the
precise meaning of incest and then go on to point out that any sexual
experience that involves the violation of trust between an adult and a
child has a psychologically similar impact on the child as the more
narrowly defined "incest" does when one of the parties is a minor.
The authors then go on to say that for convenience they will henceforth use
the word "incest" to encompass the wider set of experiences. Knowing
completely that the common, and legal use of the word is different. People
who are experienced in this area often forget that those without comparable
experiences have difficulty when the word "incest" is used in a way that
is certainly new and perhaps even challenging.
|
816.3 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 11:12 | 6 |
| re .1
Please reread .0. I certainly agree that rape (virtually) always causes
psychological trauma.
herb
|
816.4 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Fri Aug 07 1992 11:12 | 8 |
| re .1:
There was a Swedish movie called (?) "Adalan 1931" that came out about 20
years ago. A sensitive shy teenage boy had tender feelings towards a girl,
but she wasn't interested in him sexually. He set about learning hypnosis.
He hypnotized her with the intention of having sex with her while she was
under hypnosis. If he had succeeded, would this have been rape? Did he
have violent intentions? My answers are "yes" and "no" respectively.
|
816.5 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | just call me Lazarus | Fri Aug 07 1992 11:29 | 3 |
| You cannot make a person act under hypnosis in such a way that it
violates their fundamental beliefs. Thus, he could not have succeeded
in the way you describe.
|
816.6 | | DSSDEV::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Fri Aug 07 1992 11:45 | 3 |
| But he did have violent intentions. He wanted to have sex with her
against her will.
- Vick
|
816.7 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Fri Aug 07 1992 12:04 | 9 |
| re .5:
So you can't make a hypnotized person *act* against his will. He could have
had sex with her without her *acting* at all.
re .6:
There was a case a few years ago of a dentist who fondled his patients
while they were under anesthesia. Would you consider this violent?
|
816.8 | if against the will = violence then ... | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 12:16 | 11 |
| <There was a case a few years ago of a dentist who fondled his patients
<while they were under anesthesia. Would you consider this violent?
O F C O U R S E H E W O U L D ! !
He just got through, in .6, D E F I N I N G violent sex as having sex
against the will.
<But he did have violent intentions. He wanted to have sex with her
<against her will.
|
816.9 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | just call me Lazarus | Fri Aug 07 1992 12:20 | 4 |
| The fact that someone wants to do something to/with you against your
will does not means their intentions are necessarily violent. There
are many ways of achieving this object that do not include violence,
including non-violent coersion, trickery, deceit, etc.
|
816.10 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 12:24 | 1 |
| it does if you define violence that way
|
816.11 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | just call me Lazarus | Fri Aug 07 1992 12:30 | 4 |
| To define violence as anything done to/with you against your will
broadens it to the point where it becomes meaningless, and certainly
contradicts both dictionary definitions and common usage and is
therefore ridiculous.
|
816.12 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 13:04 | 17 |
| in re an anaethetized patient ...
Is the patient's 'unawareness' relevant to one's view of violence?
There is LITTLE question that the dentist intended to fondle the
<whatever> and that he did indeed fondle it (if he did).
But, even if the dentist's intent was to wreak violence (he certainly
'violated' her boundaries), can she be perceived as having had violence
perpetrated against her?
Do trees falling in the woods make noise even if no one is listening?
(I think she hasn't suffered a psychological trauma unless she knows)
Do you guys agree that you have so much invested in _being right_ that
there is not a snow-ball's chance in hell of reaching agreement?
And unless agreement can be reached, temperate discussion of neither
rape, nor child abuse will take place. Is that the goal?
|
816.13 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Fri Aug 07 1992 14:05 | 2 |
| Surely among the readers of this conference there's someone who knows the
legal definition of rape (or can look it up). That would be a starting point.
|
816.15 | | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | obscured by clouds | Fri Aug 07 1992 14:13 | 25 |
|
Anyone who has been raped can generally *feel the difference* in
willingness/unwillingness. I would rather trust a consensus of
victim's definitions of rape, than a legal definition (although the
latter is what is used in courts).
Perhaps VIOLENCE is not the isolated term that should make us shudder.
ABUSE is more apt, perhaps?
It doesn't have to be forced that hard if the person is unconscious or
their nerves have been dulled - but it isn't with consent.
It's abuse of an opportunity, and if that opportunity is induced by
novacaine, alcohol, general anasthesia, a rabbit punch, whatever....doesn't
matter. It's abuse of a person's right to choose whether or not they
wish to have sexual intimacy of any sort with another person - whether
that's fondling or intercourse. It's a boundary violation. It's an
infringement of their personal freedom - insert proper declaration of
independence or whatever liturgy on inalienable rights (life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness).
-Jody
-Jody
|
816.16 | re .13 | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 14:16 | 10 |
| Is it the definition of rape that is in question, or definition of
"violence"?
I don't believe there is a precise legal definition of rape in the
United States. I believe it varies from state to state.
Many states require that the perp be a male. I think some states
require that the victim be a female. Carnal knowledge (whatever that
is beside a Paul Simon/Ann Margret movie directed by Mike Nichols?) is
often cited as necessary. Penetration is sometimes required. The
definition of a minor varies some among states. Just to name a few
complications.
|
816.17 | but who is to say that's your goal? | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 14:17 | 4 |
| re .14
Well, that is cute, and it does allow you to keep insisting you are
right.
|
816.18 | re .15 | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 17:11 | 12 |
| Thankyou Jody:
There are now two perfectly serviceable words available. Abuse or
Trauma. We can all feel comfortable with prefixing either of the
adjectives emotional or psychological to these words, knowing we are
communicating something of value and of reality.
psychological abuse emotional abuse
psychological trauma emotional trauma
herb
|
816.19 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 07 1992 17:40 | 17 |
| I wonder how .11 parses now ...
To define ...
emotional abuse
emotional trauma
as anything done to/with you against your will
psychological abuse
psychological trauma
broadens the terms to the point where they are meaningless, and
certainly contradicts both dictionary definitions and common usage and
is therefore ridiculous.
No, I don't think any of those statements merits ridicule or is
meaningless. Waddaya think, SIMPSON_D? Make sense to you?
herb
|
816.21 | re .-1 | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Sat Aug 08 1992 13:18 | 1 |
| I suggest you look up muleheaded
|
816.22 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but it was Saturday night | Sat Aug 08 1992 20:33 | 9 |
| .5> You cannot make a person act under hypnosis in such a way that it
.5> violates their fundamental beliefs. Thus, he could not have succeeded
.5> in the way you describe.
That's a red herring.
Even if she wants it, if she says no, it's still rape.
Consent is the key, not desire.
|
816.23 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but it was Saturday night | Sat Aug 08 1992 20:34 | 4 |
| .6> But he did have violent intentions. He wanted to have sex with her
.6> against her will.
You really should get a good dictionary and look up violent.
|
816.24 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but it was Saturday night | Sat Aug 08 1992 20:37 | 3 |
| .14> I consider when someone violates someone, that is violent, period.
You really should get a good dictionary and look up violent.
|
816.25 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but it was Saturday night | Sat Aug 08 1992 21:18 | 8 |
| And, since I'm feeling so charitable today ...
violent, adj. 1 acting or done with strong, rough force: a violent
blow, violent exercise, a violent storm. syn: fierce, furious. 2 caused
by strong, rough force: a violent death. 3 showing or caused by very
strong feeling or action: violent language, a violent rage. syn:
vehement. 4 very great, severe, extreme: a violent pain, violent heat,
a violent headache. 5 that tends to distort meaning.
|
816.26 | Could we change the topic title to "rathole"? | PASTIS::MONAHAN | humanity is a trojan horse | Sun Aug 09 1992 05:18 | 14 |
| re: .5
> You cannot make a person act under hypnosis in such a way that it
> violates their fundamental beliefs.
A book I have on hypnosis, written by a university professor of
psychology who had specialised in hypnosis and performed many
experiments of his own indicates that only about 20% of the population
can be hypnotised to a sufficient depth for the hypnotist to change
their fundamental beliefs. It takes about the same depth of hypnosis to
make someone act against their fundamental beliefs without changing
them. Thus you are 80% correct.
I am not sure if this has anything to do with redefinition of the
word "violent", and I am sure it has nothing to do with rape.
|
816.28 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Mon Aug 10 1992 12:44 | 2 |
| Looks like there are some people who consider misuse of a word to be a
bigger obscenity than the act that the word is trying to depict.
|
816.29 | look again | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | but it was Saturday night | Mon Aug 10 1992 14:03 | 1 |
| Not I.
|
816.30 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Mon Aug 10 1992 14:04 | 1 |
| shame on you, sir
|
816.31 | for what? | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | just call me Lazarus | Mon Aug 10 1992 14:18 | 1 |
|
|
816.32 | When is violent not violent? | DEBUG::SCHULDT | As Incorrect as they come... | Tue Aug 11 1992 11:04 | 9 |
| Herb,
I think that misuse of a word DOES become significant when a
person's argument is something like "Act X is ALWAYS violent because I
choose to define the word VIOLENT in an arbitrary manner which has very
little in common with the generally accepted definition." It's pretty
tough to hold a discussion when you're using Newspeak.
larry
|
816.33 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Tue Aug 11 1992 17:17 | 37 |
| RE: .32 larry
> I think that misuse of a word DOES become significant when a
> person's argument is something like "Act X is ALWAYS violent because I
> choose to define the word VIOLENT in an arbitrary manner which has very
> little in common with the generally accepted definition."
Gee, you've taken quite a bit of liberty with the language yourself,
there, by using quotes to put YOUR WORDS into someone else's mouth.
I've not seen anyone describe their use of a particular meaning of a
word to be "arbitrary," for example. You made this up.
> It's pretty tough to hold a discussion when you're using Newspeak.
It's also tough when you hold others to limits that you don't impose
on yourself (when it comes to meanings/interpretations of sentences,
phrases, and words.) I guess we could call it "Larryspeak."
By the way, I do regard all/most acts of rape as violent (but not for
the reason you suggested.) Without getting too graphic, let me put
it this way: The human body has ways of "getting ready" to accept
sexual insertion (by moisturizing itself, etc.) When this is done
without a person's consent (participation,) the lack of this moisture
tends to create tissue damage to the person being penetrated.
Internal tissue damage is not as dramatic as a broken arm or leg, but
it's damage (caused by violent intrusion,) nonetheless. Even an
unconscious person can suffer this damage (although a person raping
such a person may consider the act non-violent since there was no
real struggle.)
Tissue damage may seem unimportant to some folks, but try to imagine
whether it would be painful to have sexual organs damaged in any way
at all (and whether it would seem important to the one who is actually
damaged.)
Hope this helps.
|
816.34 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Tue Aug 11 1992 17:25 | 12 |
| Remember the movie "Deliverance" (where one of the men on the trip
was raped?)
Aside from a few slaps on the backside, it didn't seem very violent.
The man was ordered to get into a certain position, and he did.
Then the other man raped him.
Why do you suppose the raped man screamed and screamed while it was
happening? (Do you think he was just unhappy at having sex with
this other guy?) The actor was protraying a man in PAIN!!! Even
if the rapist hadn't slapped him at all, the act of rape itself
was obviously violent (to one particular part of his body.)
|
816.35 | ... | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Tue Aug 11 1992 18:09 | 19 |
| One last thing...
If you were unconsious and someone decided to clean out the insides
of your ears or nose, for example, I guess it might be regarded as
non-violent (since it wouldn't amount to a punch, a slap or a stab.)
However, when you think back about how sensitive these areas are -
isn't it possible that a person cleaning another person's ears or
nose is almost BOUND to create some sort of pain or damage in the
process? Again, it wouldn't be as dramatic as a broken arm or leg,
but it would be damage of some sort. (In the case of the nose, it
might even be likely to bleed, depending on how vigorously it was
being cleaned.)
Thus, doesn't this amount to "violence"?
Isn't it true that almost any instrusive act done to a person's body
without their cooperation/consent is violent in some way (in the sense
that it causes some level of pain or physical discomfort?)
|
816.36 | enough stupidity already! | FORTSC::WILDE | why am I not yet a dragon? | Tue Aug 11 1992 20:05 | 10 |
| re: whether rape is violent or not
I am a victim of rape...I survived...I wasn't beaten senseless...I was
simply overpowered. I was violated in the most profound personal sense
that is possible. Don't you tell me I did not suffer violence.
I KNOW I did. Playing word games with a subject like this is ugly and
cruel to the victims and serves no purpose other than to pump up some
twit's personal sense of "I'm RIGHT and YOU'RE NOT"....
GROW UP!
|
816.37 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | who stepped on the duck?! | Tue Aug 11 1992 22:04 | 6 |
| Why do you think that a violent rape proves that all rapes must be
violent?
There have been many examples posted here of rape without violence.
Or do you think those weren't real rapes?
|
816.38 | | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | obscured by clouds | Wed Aug 12 1992 00:50 | 41 |
| re: .37
> Why do you think that a violent rape proves that all rapes must be
> violent?
>
> There have been many examples posted here of rape without violence.
>
> Or do you think those weren't real rapes?
Let me try this one more time, Mike. People define how they see rape,
and many define it as violent. Whether you agree with their definition
or not, that is how they define it. And people create these
definitions based on their experience, their loved ones' experience,
things they have read and heard and seen in this world.
Violence does not a rape make, VIOLATION makes a rape.
Mike, you have read enough to *know* what people in here call rape, and
in your heart you know exactly what would constitute it for yourself.
The two may not be identical. Please stop trying to pin down terms.
No terms will reach consensus. No terms need to.
People are sharing of themselves, their feelings, their viewpoints, and
their experiences. Mine does not match yours, nor does yours match
mine - nor *should they match*.
Please give people leeway to express what they need to express, however
that occurs to them. Please give them the freedom to share from their
experience, and please share from yours. Please share your thoughts
and insights, and allow others to do the same without trying to pin it
down.
Dance with the discussion - because the touchier and more painful the
topic, the more delicate the waltz of words that needs to happen with
it.
Thank you.
-Jody
|
816.39 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | ah, well, only 8 left | Wed Aug 12 1992 05:38 | 11 |
| Insisting on the meaning of terms is neither insensitive or unnecesary.
If you wish to communicate using a public language then you oblige
yourself, if only for the sake of your own purpose, to use words as
they are commonly agreed to mean. If you don't then don't waste
people's time by complaining that we don't understand - of course we
don't.
Add to this the barely hidden agenda of so many who wish to change our
language in ways which are not at all hidden in their intent to injure
men, and in this conference of all conferences no-one has the right to
complain when so many men object so vehemently.
|
816.40 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Wed Aug 12 1992 10:06 | 5 |
| I can't help but wonder what the real agenda is of those who focus on
definitions. I am confused by it, I don't understand it, but it makes
me uneasy.
herb
|
816.41 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Wed Aug 12 1992 10:16 | 21 |
| RE: .37 Mike Z.
> Why do you think that a violent rape proves that all rapes must be
> violent?
Absence of broken limbs, visible contusions, bloody heads and faces
does NOT mean there was no violence. When the inside of a person's
body is damaged in any way, it is violent to that person (EVEN IF
YOU CAN'T SEE OR FEEL THE DAMAGE.)
> There have been many examples posted here of rape without violence.
Only a person who has been raped in a way s/he considers non-violent
is in a position to know such a thing. (Even if some folks have
described their own rapes as non-violent, it doesn't PROVE that rape
in general is non-violent.)
> Or do you think those weren't real rapes?
Nope. I think that a particular rape can be violent whether or not
YOU happen to see visible evidence of it.
|
816.42 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Wed Aug 12 1992 10:39 | 18 |
| Correction:
I believe I do understand the motivation of those who say _ALL_ rape is
violent. I believe there are about four connected motivations ....
o fear that their feelings about rape are being invalidated,
o a sense that somehow the experience is less important than its
definition
o anger at those who persist in "quibbling" about the words that are
used to articulate that experience
o sympathy towards those who have been subjected to either adult rape
or childhood sexual abuse.
I believe that the concept communicated by "violent" is very useful at
least as a metaphor to characterize the impact on the psyche of the
emotional and/or psychological trauma that rape or childhood sexual abuse
often/typically/almost invariably has.
|
816.43 | Violence isn't measured by how much OTHERS see the damage. | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Wed Aug 12 1992 10:48 | 18 |
| In my case, I'm not saying that every person on the planet who has ever
been raped experienced it as violence. I suppose it is possible for
a rapist to take the sort of care to be gentle while raping that a loved
one would take (when accessing a private part of a person's body) - but
I think it's extremely, extremely rare.
Violence is a matter of the personal perspective of the person being
raped. It isn't up to someone else to see no bruises or broken bones
and declare it "non-violent" if the person who was raped was hurt in
some non-visible way.
I regard rape (in general) as violent because the orifices of one's
body are particularly sensitive places (with plenty of opportunities
for pain or discomfort, especially from a person who is engaging in
activities against the other person's will.)
I don't see the violence as a metaphor in this situation. It's quite
real.
|
816.44 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Wed Aug 12 1992 10:55 | 10 |
| By the way, I heard of a case in Miami on the news this morning where
a man died while in police custody after his liver ruptured (one of
the arresting cops KNEELED on part of the guy's back while they were
putting cuffs on him.)
Kneeling doesn't sound very violent. So did this man die from an
act of non-violence?
(Also, how about stomach punches? No bruises are visible afterward.
Are these non-violent?)
|
816.45 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | bob malooga-looga-looga-looga...looga | Wed Aug 12 1992 13:20 | 8 |
| .41> Only a person who has been raped in a way s/he considers non-violent
.41> is in a position to know such a thing.
"You can't possibly know about this because it never happened to you."
Period. Case closed.
What a convenient way to stifle discussion.
|
816.46 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | bob malooga-looga-looga-looga...looga | Wed Aug 12 1992 13:21 | 4 |
| .44> Kneeling doesn't sound very violent. So did this man die from an
Unless you've suffered liver rupture from being kneeled on, you
can't possibly know if it was violent or not.
|
816.47 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Wed Aug 12 1992 13:28 | 28 |
| RE: .45 Mike Z.
.41> Only a person who has been raped in a way s/he considers non-violent
.41> is in a position to know such a thing.
> "You can't possibly know about this because it never happened to you."
Putting words in my mouth with quotes, eh? (And people here talk about
taking inappropriate liberties with language. Tsk, Tsk!)
Try - "You can't possibly know precisely what another individual human
has experienced because YOU ARE NOT THAT PERSON! Therefore, if YOU
say another person's rape was non-violent, it's meaningless rhetoric
unless the person who was raped regards the rape as non-violent him/
herself."
> Period. Case closed.
> What a convenient way to stifle discussion.
It's intellectually dishonest to claim that you KNOW FOR A FACT that
another person's assault was not painful nor violent (unless that
individual person describes the assault as not painful nor violent.)
Even then, it can't be used as any sort of evidence that rape is not
violent in general.
Are you closer to comprehension now, or do you require extensive
explanations beyond this?
|
816.48 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Wed Aug 12 1992 13:31 | 11 |
| RE: .46 Mike Z.
.44> Kneeling doesn't sound very violent. So did this man die from an
> Unless you've suffered liver rupture from being kneeled on, you
> can't possibly know if it was violent or not.
See .47 (where I pointed out to you that your "rewrite" of my words
was a crock.)
Want to re-address this (now that you've been corrected?)
|
816.49 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Wed Aug 12 1992 13:52 | 18 |
| Mike Z., in case you're feeling lost right about now, let my try to
help:
When you say you've given many examples of non-violent rape, the claim
is meaningless. Is it non-violent rape when someone gets raped without
getting punched out or stabbed? Not necessarily (because not all wounds
and damage from rape are visible!!)
Do you think you've found a "type" of rape (or a rape scenerio) that
is inherently non-violent? I disagree that ANY rape situation is of
a type that can be classified as non-violent per se.
Internal pain and damage are possible (and even likely) in any situation
where intrusive acts are committed against someone's body without their
cooperation. Orifices tend to be particularly fragile (when handled by
a person without the cooperation of the person being, um, handled.)
Hope this helps.
|
816.50 | of course! its a p.c. plot by Doug O and Herb! | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Wed Aug 12 1992 17:00 | 9 |
| geesh !speaking of strange bedfellows!
re .39
<Add to this the barely hidden agenda of so many who wish to change our
<language in ways which are not at all hidden in their intent to injure
<men, and in this conference of all conferences no-one has the right to
<complain when so many men object so vehemently.
|
816.51 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Wed Aug 12 1992 18:31 | 1 |
| Ponderous, ain't it.
|
816.52 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | ah, well, only 8 left | Thu Aug 13 1992 06:35 | 18 |
| re .47
> Try - "You can't possibly know precisely what another individual human
> has experienced because YOU ARE NOT THAT PERSON! Therefore, if YOU
> say another person's rape was non-violent, it's meaningless rhetoric
> unless the person who was raped regards the rape as non-violent him/
> herself."
For someone who claims to have studied logic you're not doing very
well. If it is indeed the case that there can be non-violent rape (I
reserve judgement on this for the moment) and that the case in question
falls into that category then the fact that the victim expresses their
sense of violation with the word violent does not make it so. It is
illogical to say that the victim can, in their effort to describe what
happened to them, redefine words according to their feelings and then
expect to have their situation and experience understood. It is better
for everybody to search for the right words than to misuse them and try
to justify it "because that's how I feel".
|
816.53 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 10:45 | 25 |
| RE: .52
> For someone who claims to have studied logic you're not doing very
> well.
My logic is in tact. Your reading comprehension, however, requires
some serious work.
> If it is indeed the case that there can be non-violent rape (I
> reserve judgement on this for the moment) and that the case in question
> falls into that category then the fact that the victim expresses their
> sense of violation with the word violent does not make it so.
How many times do I need to say (quite specifically) that I'm talking
about actual physical damage (internal tissue damage) before you
comprehend that the feelings I'm discussing are PHYSICAL not emotional.
If a person says, "I FEEL PHYSICAL PAIN" (and has any level at all of
tissue damage inside the orifice that has been violated) - it is indeed
violence (and pain for that person) per the dictionary definition of
those terms. The fact that YOU can't see the damage doesn't matter in
the least. Violence still occurred.
I've said this several times now. If you're still struggling with this
concept, try remedial English.
|
816.54 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 10:54 | 10 |
| After reading the notes in this discussion, I get the impression that
the accepted definition of rape (for some folks here) runs along the
lines of:
In the absence of physical wounds (such as broken limbs, contusions,
or stabs,) rape is just ordinary sex with the minor difference that
the woman didn't actually consent to it. No big deal.
(I said "woman" and not "person" on purpose, because I'm not sure if
the same folks see a man raping another man any differently.)
|
816.55 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Thu Aug 13 1992 11:03 | 8 |
| I can't speak for anyone else, but I think rape is a sexual act with an
unwilling person. The tricky part is the definition of "sexual act."
I don't think that breast fondling can be rape, but I also don't think
penetration is necessary.
Two questions for whoever said that all rape is violent because penetrating
an unwilling partner isn't lubricated: (1) if a woman forces a man to
penetrate her, is it rape? (2) suppose the perpetrator uses a lubricant?
|
816.56 | Argh! | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 11:12 | 30 |
| RE: .55
> I can't speak for anyone else, but I think rape is a sexual act with an
> unwilling person.
No big deal, then, right? Just ordinary sex which happens to occur
without consent - but otherwise, nothing unusual. (Unless it happened
to occur to you and you had physical pain and wounds that others could
not see.)
This attitude is part of the reason why it's been so difficult (for
so long) to prosecute rape cases. Hey, if property had been stolen,
then prosecution is justified. If it's just some woman who thinks
she's been hurt because she had sex (but perhaps she merely didn't
consent to it, no big deal) then WHY RUIN A MAN'S LIFE FOR IT? (Right?)
>Two questions for whoever said that all rape is violent because penetrating
>an unwilling partner isn't lubricated: (1) if a woman forces a man to
>penetrate her, is it rape? (2) suppose the perpetrator uses a lubricant?
I used this as an example, only.
Try to imagine that a man is having his sexual organs handled by a
hostile person (who isn't worried about whether this handling might
be painful.) Do you think it's POSSIBLE that an uncaring, hostile
person might inflict pain on this sensitive area in some way (in
the course of forcing activity against a man's will?)
Do people normally relish the idea of hostile persons handling their
private parts? (Are they really so invulnerable to pain????)
|
816.57 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 13 1992 11:18 | 1 |
| please stop, Suzanne
|
816.58 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Thu Aug 13 1992 11:24 | 21 |
| re .56:
> > I can't speak for anyone else, but I think rape is a sexual act with an
> > unwilling person.
>
> No big deal, then, right? Just ordinary sex which happens to occur
> without consent - but otherwise, nothing unusual. (Unless it happened
> to occur to you and you had physical pain and wounds that others could
> not see.)
I fail to see where I implied that rape is "no big deal."
I'm saying that non-violent rape (which I don't consider an oxymoron) is
no less repugnant that violent rape. Do you disagree? Is it OK for
someone to seduce a mentally incompetent person?
It seems to me that defining rape in terms of the victim being unwilling
is stronger and more accurate than defining it in terms of violence.
Besides the examples of non-violent rape that have already been given,
what about violent sex acts between willing participants (e.g. sado-masochism)?
Do you consider such acts to be rape?
|
816.59 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Thu Aug 13 1992 12:30 | 6 |
| .55>I can't speak for anyone else, but I think rape is a sexual act with an
.55>unwilling person.
Well, you can speak for me.
I've been saying this all along.
|
816.60 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 13 1992 12:31 | 19 |
| re .53
> My logic is in tact. Your reading comprehension, however, requires
> some serious work.
I'll match my English, comprehension and otherwise, against yours
anyday.
> How many times do I need to say (quite specifically) that I'm talking
> about actual physical damage (internal tissue damage) before you
> comprehend that the feelings I'm discussing are PHYSICAL not emotional.
That is not at all what the passage I quoted was talking about. If you
meant to say this then you failed. Try a remedial English class.
Now, consider this: normal, consensual, lubricated heterosexual
intercourse can make micro-tears in the lining of the vagina (for those
who don't know, this is why women are more receptive to AIDS in het
sex). Are we to consider this violent?
|
816.61 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Thu Aug 13 1992 12:42 | 5 |
| What is it they say in WN ... ??
You can't teach a pig to sing.
It only wastes your time and serves to further irritate the pig.
|
816.62 | ... | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 12:44 | 34 |
| RE: .58
> I fail to see where I implied that rape is "no big deal."
Well, describing rape as simple sex with an unwilling partner makes
it sound like a less serious crime than it is (IMO.)
> I'm saying that non-violent rape (which I don't consider an oxymoron)
> is no less repugnant that violent rape. Do you disagree?
Yes.
> It seems to me that defining rape in terms of the victim being unwilling
> is stronger and more accurate than defining it in terms of violence.
The lack of consent is crucial to the definition of the rape of a
mentally competant and/or majority age person, true. However, we
aren't forced to limit ourselves to only one crucial element in
this definition. I'm saying that rape is (in general) also a
violent crime.
> Besides the examples of non-violent rape that have already been given,
These examples are meaningless without an individual accounting of any
internal (or external) pain or physical damage. (Lack of broken bones
and or stab wounds is insufficient to characterize a rape as non-violent.)
> what about violent sex acts between willing participants (e.g. sado-
> masochism)? Do you consider such acts to be rape?
C'mon. Saying that rape (in general) is a violent crime is not the
same thing as saying that all violence involving sexual organs is rape.
Again, the lack of consent (for a mentally competant and/or majority
age person is a crucial component.)
|
816.63 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 12:51 | 29 |
| RE: .60
> I'll match my English, comprehension and otherwise, against yours
> anyday.
Well, if so, then you shouldn't have any additional problems
understanding the meaning of a simple phrase like "physical pain"
(as distinguished from "emotional pain.") Good luck.
> That is not at all what the passage I quoted was talking about.
Here is the original statement (referenced by the passage you
quoted.) If you can't understand this, please ask for help:
.43> I regard rape (in general) as violent because the orifices of one's
.43> body are particularly sensitive places (with plenty of opportunities
.43> for pain or discomfort, especially from a person who is engaging in
.43> activities against the other person's will.)
.43>I don't see the violence as a metaphor in this situation. It's quite
.43>real.
Do you see that my words described physical pain (not emotional pain?)
Do you understand that if this pain (and physical damage) is not visible
to others that only the person raped (and an examining physician,
perhaps) would know that this physical damage occurred?
Are we ok with this now? Do you need more assistance?
|
816.64 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 12:58 | 14 |
| RE: .61 Mike Z.
> You can't teach a pig to sing.
> It only wastes your time and serves to further irritate the pig.
Try to have a bit more patience with these folks, Mike. Attitudes,
information and attempts to prosecute rape cases have been severe
problems for our culture (not to mention our legal system) for a
long, long time.
These issues won't clear up any time real soon, either. At least
we're talking about the issues (which makes me a bit more hopeful,
anyway.)
|
816.65 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:15 | 12 |
| re .63
> Here is the original statement (referenced by the passage you
> quoted.) If you can't understand this, please ask for help:
I know what you said in .43. However, the passage I quoted did not
reference it. But, I won't bother asking why you lie.
The second passage dealt with something different - how we are to know
what happened to the victim according to the victim's description.
Oh, and are you going to answer the question?
|
816.66 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:21 | 28 |
| RE: .65
> I know what you said in .43. However, the passage I quoted did not
> reference it. But, I won't bother asking why you lie.
If you go back to the passage you quoted (and read back through the
discussion reference by reference - in other words, when the reply
says "RE: .xx," go back and find it - the passage refers back to
my comments in .43.)
I'm sorry if you don't understand how NOTES work. Perhaps a user
manual would be of some help.
> The second passage dealt with something different - how we are to know
> what happened to the victim according to the victim's description.
The passage you quoted dealt DIRECTLY with reply .43 - it did NOT talk
about something different than what was discussed in .43.
If you're incapable of following along in a notes discussion, perhaps
you should refrain from participating (or ask questions, at the very
least!)
> Oh, and are you going to answer the question?
Sure. Repost it and I'll answer it. (We've had so many missed
connections here that I'd like to make sure you know what is being
discussed next.)
|
816.67 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:27 | 7 |
| Suzanne:
I think you are doing exactly what a sabouteur would want you to do.
And I'm certain it's not your intent.
herb
|
816.68 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:27 | 10 |
| re .66
> If you're incapable of following along in a notes discussion, perhaps
> you should refrain from participating (or ask questions, at the very
> least!)
Once again you are telling someone that they don't have the right
to speak out unless they follow _your_ rules and standards.
fred();
|
816.69 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:28 | 24 |
| RE: .60
If this is your "question," you don't need to repost it:
> Now, consider this: normal, consensual, lubricated heterosexual
> intercourse can make micro-tears in the lining of the vagina (for those
> who don't know, this is why women are more receptive to AIDS in het
> sex). Are we to consider this violent?
Well, if it's not painful to the woman (and is the normal amount of
tearing that usually occurs to her,) she may not regard it as violent
or painful (per the dictionary definitions of these terms.)
However, if her lover was especially rough (and she felt pain and
discomfort for some time afterward,) she might say, "You're getting
a bit too violent with me during sex. I'd like it better if you
weren't so rough."
Is violence automatically a crime? No. Is violence always horrible
and shocking? No. Does the presence of violence during sex make
it rape (automatically)? No. Is violence painful to humans? Sometimes.
Is rape a violent crime? In my opinion, rape (in general) can be
described as a violent crime.
|
816.70 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:32 | 13 |
| RE: .68 Fred
>> If you're incapable of following along in a notes discussion, perhaps
>> you should refrain from participating (or ask questions, at the very
>> least!)
> Once again you are telling someone that they don't have the right
> to speak out unless they follow _your_ rules and standards.
Once again, you're putting words in my mouth. (You didn't use quotes
this time, though. Thanks.)
I'm not talking about anyone's rights here. You made this up.
|
816.71 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:35 | 13 |
| RE: .67 Herb
> I think you are doing exactly what a sabouteur would want you to do.
> And I'm certain it's not your intent.
Herb, I'm sorry, but I don't feel at all victimized by the people in
this dicussion. We're having a conversation about some issues here.
That's all.
I didn't start out with any particular goal or message to deliver,
so I don't feel sabotaged in the least. I'm just participating.
OK?
|
816.72 | Hard to interpret it any other way | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:37 | 8 |
| re .70
It's kind of hard to make up a direct quote Suzanne. I went back
ane re-read the entire .66 and it _still_ looks to me that that
is the main point of that note. I don't think it took the quote
out of context either.
fred();
|
816.73 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:47 | 10 |
| RE: .72 Fred
> I went back ane re-read the entire .66 and it _still_ looks to me
> that that is the main point of that note.
Well, you're wrong. Plain and simple.
> -< Hard to interpret it any other way >-
Just ASK what the note meant next time. It would help.
|
816.74 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 13:52 | 15 |
| re .73
> Well, you're wrong. Plain and simple.
Qh! well excuse me for doubting your wisdom and authority.
> You need a lot of work in this area, Fred. If you ASK what the note
> meant next time, though, it might help.
Then suppose you enlighten me about what note .66 was _really_ about.
It certainly appeared to me that you are trying to argue from a
position of Politically Correct superiority because the author
of .66 doesn't know how to play the notes game and you do.
fred();
|
816.75 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 14:03 | 28 |
| RE: .74 Fred
>> Well, you're wrong. Plain and simple.
> Qh! well excuse me for doubting your wisdom and authority.
When it comes to interpreting MY WORDS, I am the only one who knows
what I meant. (You are the only one who knows for sure the meaning
of YOUR WORDS, too.) If someone questions your meaning, you are
the only authority on the subject. Is this clear now?
> Then suppose you enlighten me about what note .66 was _really_ about.
It was about a needless rathole that developed because another person
didn't bother paying attention to what was being discussed (then started
arguing about what he ASSUMED was being discussed.) When humans notice
such wasteful disagreements, it's not ususual to suggest that the
ratholes (due to such mistakes) can be avoided in the future.
> It certainly appeared to me that you are trying to argue from a
> position of Politically Correct superiority because the author
> of .66 doesn't know how to play the notes game and you do.
HUH???? Oh, I see. When in doubt, toss a label and condemn [yet
another instance of McCarthyism.]
The ability to pay attention (during human discussion) is not a
political issue or position.
|
816.76 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 14:18 | 7 |
| By the way, to those who love dictionary definitions so much, are
these proper uses of the word "violent":
"I violently disagree with what you just said."
"We are in violent agreement."
|
816.77 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 14:33 | 10 |
| re .75
>HUH???? Oh, I see. When in doubt, toss a label and condemn [yet
>another instance of McCarthyism.]
Again it appears to me that you are trying to argue from a position
of Politically Correct superiouity. Just because I _may_ label
and condem something doesn't necessarily make me wrong.
fred();
|
816.78 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 14:47 | 22 |
| RE: .77 Fred
> Again it appears to me that you are trying to argue from a position
> of Politically Correct superiouity. Just because I _may_ label
> and condem something doesn't necessarily make me wrong.
When you use the label (describing a POLITICAL POSITION) to argue
about something NON-POLITICAL (such as the dynamics of "paying
attention" in the midst of human conversation,) it's totally
meaningless.
It would be as if I saw you park facing north and said, "Oh, yeah,
a typical right-wing reactionary parking job (based on your own
mistaken belief in the superiority of your politics.)"
(By the way, do you remember the old David Steinberg skit - I think
it was on the Smothers Brothers show - where he plays a psychiatrist
asking a new patient to 'sit anywhere,' then when the patient picks
one of two chairs, David takes notes and says, "AHA! Sex maniac!")
It's just meaningless, Fred, to keep tossing politically-charged labels
in non-political contexts. It's useless.
|
816.79 | What's good for the Goose as they say | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 15:17 | 10 |
| re. 78
> It's just meaningless, Fred, to keep tossing politically-charged labels
> in non-political contexts. It's useless.
Then would this not also apply to other "politically-charged labels"
like "deadbead-dads","rape", "incest", "abuse".....?
fred();
|
816.80 | I haven't seen anyone here label others this way. Have you??? | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 15:36 | 11 |
| RE: .79 Fred
> Then would this not also apply to other "politically-charged labels"
> like "deadbead-dads","rape", "incest", "abuse".....?
Have you seen anyone in this discussion described as a rapist or an
incestuous person? I've seen people discuss these issues, of course,
but I have yet to see anyone tell another, "Oh, you're just a deadbeat
Dad."
Have you?
|
816.81 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 16:11 | 14 |
| re .80
I have, however, seen someone ( .66 ) try to negate someone's
argument on the grounds that they may not be as clever in
the notes file as some others. Even to the point of _suggesting_
that that person should not bother with writing anything unless/
until they learn to "use the notes file".
Also, I thought the main argument in this note was about whether
or not certain terms were appropriate in describing certain acts
or if those terms were simply being used for their political impact.
I think the comparison is valid.
fred();
|
816.82 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 16:35 | 28 |
| RE: .81 Fred
> I have, however, seen someone ( .66 ) try to negate someone's
> argument on the grounds that they may not be as clever in
> the notes file as some others.
As relayed to you before, the POINT was to suggest ways of avoiding
another useless rathole by paying more attention to the actual points
of discussion. It doesn't require as much cleverness to do this as
ATTENTION.
> Even to the point of _suggesting_ that that person should not bother
> with writing anything unless/until they learn to "use the notes file".
If it requires NOTES training to learn how to figure out what's being
discussed (to avoid useless ratholes based on such mistakes,) then it
might be useful to the task at hand (IMO.)
> Also, I thought the main argument in this note was about whether
> or not certain terms were appropriate in describing certain acts
> or if those terms were simply being used for their political impact.
Well, my opinion is that rape (in general) is a violent crime, and
I'm using the dictionary definition for the word "violent" (as some
others have requested.)
I've explained why I consider rape a violent crime, so if you're done
with this rathole now, perhaps you'd care to address this issue.
|
816.84 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Thu Aug 13 1992 18:03 | 5 |
| re Gina
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
fred();
|
816.85 | (PANIC ATTACK: Feminist in vicinity!) | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 13 1992 18:06 | 7 |
| RE: .84 Fred
> Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
It also helps (in your case) to believe there is fire when the
discussion merely gets a tad warm.
|
816.86 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Fri Aug 14 1992 08:13 | 91 |
| re Suzanne,
Well, now, let's see what we have.
.43> In my case, I'm not saying that every person on the planet who has ever
.43> been raped experienced it as violence. I suppose it is possible for
.43> a rapist to take the sort of care to be gentle while raping that a loved
.43> one would take (when accessing a private part of a person's body) - but
.43> I think it's extremely, extremely rare.
.43> Violence is a matter of the personal perspective of the person being
.43> raped. It isn't up to someone else to see no bruises or broken bones
.43> and declare it "non-violent" if the person who was raped was hurt in
.43> some non-visible way.
.43> I regard rape (in general) as violent because the orifices of one's
.43> body are particularly sensitive places (with plenty of opportunities
.43> for pain or discomfort, especially from a person who is engaging in
.43> activities against the other person's will.)
.43> I don't see the violence as a metaphor in this situation. It's quite
.43> real.
So, according to you, violence is determined by subjective experience.
If the victim thinks it was violent then it was. It is real if the
victim says it was real.
.66> If you go back to the passage you quoted (and read back through the
.66> discussion reference by reference - in other words, when the reply
.66> says "RE: .xx," go back and find it - the passage refers back to
.66> my comments in .43.)
No it doesn't.
.47> RE: .45 Mike Z.
.47> .41> Only a person who has been raped in a way s/he considers non-violent
.47> .41> is in a position to know such a thing.
This is the only reference in .47, and nowhere does it refer to .43.
Perhaps you should learn how to use Notes properly so you can check
what was said before getting so upset. Perhaps a user manual would be
of some help. Still, let's move on.
.47> Try - "You can't possibly know precisely what another individual human
.47> has experienced because YOU ARE NOT THAT PERSON! Therefore, if YOU
.47> say another person's rape was non-violent, it's meaningless rhetoric
.47> unless the person who was raped regards the rape as non-violent him/
.47> herself."
Since we cannot directly access another's experience we are dependant
upon their description of it. If they use the word violent to describe
their experience, according to you that is OK, even if what they mean
by the word and what is commonly understood by it are different.
.53> How many times do I need to say (quite specifically) that I'm talking
.53> about actual physical damage (internal tissue damage) before you
.53> comprehend that the feelings I'm discussing are PHYSICAL not emotional.
Excuse me? Earlier you defined violence quite differently. Then,
violence was defined subjectively by the victim. Now, apparently, it
is defined by physical damage and not by emotional trauma. But you go
on:
.53> If a person says, "I FEEL PHYSICAL PAIN" (and has any level at all of
.53> tissue damage inside the orifice that has been violated) - it is indeed
.53> violence (and pain for that person) per the dictionary definition of
.53> those terms. The fact that YOU can't see the damage doesn't matter in
.53> the least. Violence still occurred.
Yes, violence is clearly now defined by the evidence of physical
damage.
.69> > Now, consider this: normal, consensual, lubricated heterosexual
.69> > intercourse can make micro-tears in the lining of the vagina (for those
.69> > who don't know, this is why women are more receptive to AIDS in het
.69> > sex). Are we to consider this violent?
.69> Well, if it's not painful to the woman (and is the normal amount of
.69> tearing that usually occurs to her,) she may not regard it as violent
.69> or painful (per the dictionary definitions of these terms.)
Oh, dear, we're back to the original definition now. It's subjective
again. Even if she suffers lesions in her vagina (and it is true that
most women who suffer this don't know it) it still isn't violence.
.69> Is rape a violent crime? In my opinion, rape (in general) can be
.69> described as a violent crime.
Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. How are we to know from your
definitions? Which shall we choose?
|
816.87 | | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | obscured by clouds | Fri Aug 14 1992 09:05 | 14 |
|
re: .61
> What is it they say in WN ... ??
>
> You can't teach a pig to sing.
>
> It only wastes your time and serves to further irritate the pig.
bingo. exit, stage left.
-Jody
|
816.88 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 10:31 | 73 |
| RE: .86 Simpson
> So, according to you, violence is determined by subjective experience.
When someone falls down a staircase or has a car accident, what do
attending medics (or anyone else nearby) asK:
"ARE YOU HURT?????"
Gee. Why do you suppose they bother asking? Why don't they say,
"Look, I don't regard your pain as real unless I can see physical
evidence of it for myself, so don't bother saying a damn thing.
Pain and damage are not subjective experiences. They only happen
if ***I*** agree they have happened to you."
> If the victim thinks it was violent then it was. It is real if the
> victim says it was real.
Nope. In the case of rape victims, I guess they only feel pain if
their injuries can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Otherwise,
they should not be believed. (Right?)
.66> If you go back to the passage you quoted (and read back through the
.66> discussion reference by reference - in other words, when the reply
.66> says "RE: .xx," go back and find it - the passage refers back to
.66> my comments in .43.)
> No it doesn't.
Yes, it does. I found .43 by going back (reference by reference) to
see what was being discussed. Obviously, you aren't capable of doing
that. I'm sorry for you.
> Since we cannot directly access another's experience we are dependant
> upon their description of it. If they use the word violent to describe
> their experience, according to you that is OK, even if what they mean
> by the word and what is commonly understood by it are different.
If someone says to me, "I'm hurt. I'm in pain. I've been the victim
of a violent rape," I don't say, "PROVE IT!!!!!!!! Show me the doctor's
detailed report or I refuse to believe you."
The attitude of not believing rape victims is one of the biggest
problems in fighting this crime. You have demonstrated (yourself)
why we need so much work in this area.
Thanks.
> Excuse me? Earlier you defined violence quite differently. Then,
> violence was defined subjectively by the victim. Now, apparently, it
> is defined by physical damage and not by emotional trauma.
As I've said before, PAIN IS A SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE.
"Are you hurt?" Who knows if a person is hurt besides the person who
experienced the assault?????
I've been discussing physical pain throughout this entire topic.
Your problem is that if I say pain without a qualifier, you assume
I'm talking about emotional pain (because I'm female, I suppose.)
Even if I talk repeatedly about physical pain and damage (then leave
out the word "physical" once,) you assume I've changed the subject
to emotional pain.
PHYSICAL PAIN is subjective. Only the person experiencing it KNOWS
if it's present (unless the person tells someone else.) Not all
physical damage can be documented. If someone is punched in the
stomach, it leaves no bruise but can be quite painful (and VIOLENT!)
Private body parts are very sensitive. When some hostile person is
taking liberty with body parts against another person's will, it
is LIKELY that pain will be inflicted. If you don't believe someone
who says she's been hurt, it's YOUR PROBLEM. I would believe her.
|
816.89 | | IAMOK::KELLY | | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:00 | 17 |
| Suzanne,
Although I agree that rape is a violent crime, crime of violence, your
last note just kinda clicked something for me.
Perhaps the objection is to the idea of pain = violence. For instance,
I'm a klutz, fall down alot and hurt myself. I feel pain, but don't
consider that I've experienced violence. Perhaps some folks don't
equate pain with violence in the case of rape. I feel rape is a crime
of violence and power as one is taking from another something that is
not being given. That taking (IMO) always includes force, the force
comes in varying degrees, but I still think it's a violent act
perpetrated on the victim.
Just a thought,
Christine
|
816.90 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:08 | 24 |
| RE: .89 Christine
My opinion is that rape qualifies as a crime of violence even when
the dictionary definition of "violent" is being used.
Physical pain can occur without violence, God knows. But when a
crime is committed (using a measure of force) and physical pain is
inflicted on the victim (which is quite often the case in occurrences
of rape,) then the crime (in general) can be described as a violent
crime.
What I've begun to learn in this topic is that some men don't realize
that women have any degree of sensitivity or vulnerability in the
genital area. When you consider the well-known sensitivity of men's
privates, you would think that most men would realize that women's
private parts are every bit as sensitive. But it appears that some
men are simply incapable of comprehending this piece of information.
I've been trying to avoid asking, "Would you consider it violent if
some guy stomped on your genital area in the process of trying to
commit some crime against you?" (Not that it would do any good,
of course. Obviously, only men are allowed to feel pain in this
area of their bodies. Women only feel pain if our arms or legs are
broken. Funny how that works.)
|
816.91 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:10 | 40 |
| re .88
You seem to use pain and violence interchangeably. They are not
interchangeable. I have yet to talk about pain. I have been, since
the beginning, talking about violence.
Pain may indicate violence; it may not. A person may feel pain without
violence (eg toothache). A person may suffer violence without feeling
pain (ie they were unconscious).
Since pain is a manifestation of the brain we can generally accept a
person's statement that they are in pain as being valid. It cannot in
and of itself necessarily lead us to violence.
Consequently, my critique of your manifest contradictions in defining
violence stand. You are condemned by your own words.
> If someone says to me, "I'm hurt. I'm in pain. I've been the victim
> of a violent rape," I don't say, "PROVE IT!!!!!!!! Show me the doctor's
> detailed report or I refuse to believe you."
> The attitude of not believing rape victims is one of the biggest
> problems in fighting this crime. You have demonstrated (yourself)
> why we need so much work in this area.
This does not follow from what I said. The premise of this sub-string
is that unless there is agreement on the meaning of the word 'rape' or
'violence', etc., then the statement 'I have been raped' does not and
cannot convey the meaning that is intended. Therefore, I can have no
certainty (from the statement alone and without other verification)
that the person has been raped.
It's not a case of simply disbelieving the victim; it's about not
knowing whether to believe when the definitions are being constantly
changed (usually either for ideological reasons or ignorantly using the
redefinition without understanding its basis).
You'll find this hard to believe, but I am appalled by the notion of
rape, defined as a sexual act perpetrated without consent, and need no
ideological redefinition for the idea to gain further opprobrium.
|
816.92 | | IAMOK::KELLY | | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:36 | 12 |
| Suzanne,
Your second paragraph in .90 is what I meant to convey in how
I do view this crime. I just felt that the pain and violence
were also being used interchangeable and could see why this
might confuse someone. I also think in general, it's harder
for most men to relate to having this crime perpetrated against
them as it is not common with men, therefore, the discussion of
rape drawn on gender lines tend to come from completely different
directions (IMO, of course).
Christine
|
816.93 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:39 | 15 |
| re .90:
> Physical pain can occur without violence, God knows. But when a
> crime is committed (using a measure of force) and physical pain is
> inflicted on the victim (which is quite often the case in occurrences
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> of rape,) then the crime (in general) can be described as a violent
> crime.
Are you admitting that rape without pain exists? Do you admit that
rape without violence exists?
I'm saying that the sine qua non of rape is that the victim is unwilling.
Rape may or may not be violent. Obviously, it usually is violent, but
that's not what makes it rape.
|
816.94 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:44 | 92 |
| RE: .91 Simpson
Well, unfortunately, we do seem to be using different definitions
of violence, I admit. I've been using the dictionary definition,
while you have devised your own definition of violence (from God
knows where.) It's ok with me, though. I'm willing to accept
that your definition of violence may not always agree with the
dictionary definition I've been using.
> You seem to use pain and violence interchangeably. They are not
> interchangeable.
Nonsense. You're still very confused.
Here's the dictionary definition of violent:
violent, adj. 1 acting or done with strong, rough force: a violent
blow, violent exercise, a violent storm. syn: fierce, furious. 2 caused
by strong, rough force: a violent death. 3 showing or caused by very
strong feeling or action: violent language, a violent rage. syn:
vehement. 4 very great, severe, extreme: a violent pain, violent heat,
a violent headache. 5 that tends to distort meaning.
Please note that "violent" is described as "ACTING OR DONE WITH STRONG
OR ROUGH FORCE." The presence of pain (internally or externally) is
the result of STRONG OR ROUGH FORCE.
Disclaimer: Pain can occur other ways (OF COURSE.) However, if pain
is inflicted during the commission of a crime, the crime can be
described as having been committed with "STRONG OR ROUGH FORCE," per
the dictionary definition.
> Pain may indicate violence; it may not. A person may feel pain without
> violence (eg toothache).
If a person is in physical pain after a rape, it is likely that the
pain was caused by the STRONG OR ROUGH FORCE of the rapist (thus, the
crime was violent, per the dictionary definition.)
> A person may suffer violence without feeling pain (ie they were
> unconscious).
Of course. A person may suffer violence and feel nothing ever (by
being killed.) It's still violence, though. Physical pain is a
good indicator of the strong or rough force used during a rape,
but if the victim isn't conscious or alive to feel it, the violence
of the crime doesn't diminish.
> Since pain is a manifestation of the brain we can generally accept a
> person's statement that they are in pain as being valid. It cannot in
> and of itself necessarily lead us to violence.
Well, I guess you could assume that the rape victim suddenly got a
toothache, I guess. I mean, one wouldn't want to take the risk of
accusing a poor, innocent rapist of having actually used FORCE during
the commission of a rape <gasp!>
> Consequently, my critique of your manifest contradictions in defining
> violence stand. You are condemned by your own words.
Only in your dreams, pal. The dictionary backs up what I wrote.
> The premise of this sub-string
> is that unless there is agreement on the meaning of the word 'rape' or
> 'violence', etc., then the statement 'I have been raped' does not and
> cannot convey the meaning that is intended. Therefore, I can have no
> certainty (from the statement alone and without other verification)
> that the person has been raped.
Wow. You've found a new excuse to disbelieve a rape victim!! "Well,
dear, we don't believe you've been raped because there may possibly
be a disagreement on the definitions of the terms being used. Now,
stop writhing in pain and shut up."
> It's not a case of simply disbelieving the victim; it's about not
> knowing whether to believe when the definitions are being constantly
> changed (usually either for ideological reasons or ignorantly using the
> redefinition without understanding its basis).
It's not at all about "definitions" (I've shown that.) I've been
using the dictionary definitions and it still hasn't been enough
for you!!
> You'll find this hard to believe, but I am appalled by the notion of
> rape, defined as a sexual act perpetrated without consent, and need no
> ideological redefinition for the idea to gain further opprobrium.
I find it IMPOSSIBLE to believe. You say you are appalled by rape,
yet you give the flimsiest of all possible reasons to disbelieve
the physical pain and suffering of rape victims.
What a crock.
|
816.95 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:48 | 12 |
| RE: .93 Gerald
> Are you admitting that rape without pain exists? Do you admit that
> rape without violence exists?
As I've stated repeatedly, rape (in general) is a violent crime.
I've never stated that the act is NOT rape unless there is violence,
nor have I stated that if violence is EVER present in any situation,
then rape has occurred (somehow.)
RAPE (IN GENERAL) IS A VIOLENT CRIME. (Like I said.)
|
816.96 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:54 | 14 |
| <sina qua non is victim is unwilling>
I think it would be useful (and more encompassing) to enlarge the sine
qua non a bit to include "or unable to make an informed judgement" in
which case it would read ...
the sine qua non of rape is that the victim is either unwilling to
participate in the act(s) or is unable to make an informed judgement
about participation.
this latter would include children, and adults unconscious, drunk, or
otherwise unable to give informed consent.
I think that the definition might want to be wider yet, but hope that
agreement can be reached on this before proceeding further.
|
816.97 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:56 | 11 |
| It's absolutely amazing to me that some people can't accept that, at
the very least, rape is likely to be done with 'strong or rough force'
(even if the force isn't strong enough to break a limb or cause a
death.)
It's absolutely appalling that people would deny the physical pain
and suffering of rape victims because of a difference of opinion
on what (precisely) constitutues "ROUGH"ness.
It's pathetic.
|
816.98 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Fri Aug 14 1992 11:56 | 40 |
| re .94
> of violence, I admit. I've been using the dictionary definition,
> while you have devised your own definition of violence (from God
This is manifest garbage. I've clearly shown, using your words, how
your definition has changed to suit whatever you point was at the time.
You contradict yourself and claim you're using a dictionary definition
- and you've got the gall to acuse me of being out of it!?!
Show me where I defined violence.
> > You seem to use pain and violence interchangeably. They are not
> > interchangeable.
> Nonsense. You're still very confused.
Gee, others pick up on the same point, but we're all wrong, aren't we.
How presumptuous of us.
> Wow. You've found a new excuse to disbelieve a rape victim!! "Well,
> dear, we don't believe you've been raped because there may possibly
> be a disagreement on the definitions of the terms being used. Now,
> stop writhing in pain and shut up."
Not at all. This is not new. It is exactly the attitude the courts
will take when your victim tries to have the alleged offender
prosecuted and jailed. "OK, you say you were raped. What, exactly,
happened?"
> I find it IMPOSSIBLE to believe. You say you are appalled by rape,
> yet you give the flimsiest of all possible reasons to disbelieve
> the physical pain and suffering of rape victims.
Why did I think you were going to say that? Flimsy? Robust. Robust
and necessary reasons to find out what did happen, as opposed to what
the plaintiff says happened.
I have great sympathy for rape victims. I have no sympathy for people
who say they were raped when they weren't.
|
816.99 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:04 | 48 |
| RE: .99 Simpson
>> of violence, I admit. I've been using the dictionary definition,
>> while you have devised your own definition of violence (from God
> This is manifest garbage. I've clearly shown, using your words, how
> your definition has changed to suit whatever you point was at the time.
Nonsense. I never gave you a definition of rape until I reposted the
dictionary definition I've been using all along. My comments fit the
defintion all along (and they still do.)
> Show me where I defined violence.
Hey, you claimed I defined it. Show me where I did this (besides
reposting the dictionary definition.)
> Gee, others pick up on the same point, but we're all wrong, aren't we.
> How presumptuous of us.
Nope. Just wrong.
> Not at all. This is not new. It is exactly the attitude the courts
> will take when your victim tries to have the alleged offender
> prosecuted and jailed. "OK, you say you were raped. What, exactly,
> happened?"
I'm glad to see you acknowledge that the same attitude you've shown
here is the *problem* we still face in our legal system. Thanks.
Rape victims aren't believed. They are guilty (of lying) until
proven innocent.
> Why did I think you were going to say that? Flimsy? Robust. Robust
> and necessary reasons to find out what did happen, as opposed to what
> the plaintiff says happened.
Again, rape victims are guilty (of lying) until proven innocent.
> I have great sympathy for rape victims. I have no sympathy for people
> who say they were raped when they weren't.
Now we (finally) get down to the real issue. It's not about definitions.
It's about discounting whatever rape victims say (because rape victims
are guilty of lying until proven innocent.)
Yeah, you have a lot of sympathy for the victims, alright. You're
far more comfort to the poor innocent rapists who may actually have
to pay for their crimes.
|
816.100 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:08 | 11 |
| Well, Simpson, I'm glad you finally cut through the BS to admit that
the issue here is NOT about definitions of violence, rape, etc.
It's *really* about finding ways to disbelieve rape victims (and to
discount their physical suffering) to protect poor innocent rapists
who ONLY had simple sex, after all, with the minor difference that
the woman didn't consent to it. (Why ruin a poor innocent rapists
life since you doubt he actually used FORCE <gasp!> or anything like
that. He just 'got off,' for God's sake. She'll get over it.)
Pfffft!
|
816.101 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:13 | 36 |
| re .99
> > Gee, others pick up on the same point, but we're all wrong, aren't we.
> > How presumptuous of us.
> Nope. Just wrong.
This speaks for itself.
> I'm glad to see you acknowledge that the same attitude you've shown
> here is the *problem* we still face in our legal system. Thanks.
> Rape victims aren't believed. They are guilty (of lying) until
> proven innocent.
There is no problem with the legal system. It treats ALL plaintiffs
this way. The accused is innocent until proven guilty; the prosecution
must prove its case beyond reasonable doubt.
Are you suggesting that this system is flawed, or that rape should be
exempt from the rules of evidence?
> Again, rape victims are guilty (of lying) until proven innocent.
Nope. But their claim, like all such claims, must be tested. And one
of the tests is (surprise, surprise): what do they mean when they say
they were raped, and is that in accord with what is understood to be
rape?
> Yeah, you have a lot of sympathy for the victims, alright. You're
> far more comfort to the poor innocent rapists who may actually have
> to pay for their crimes.
'Tis true I believe in the legal maxim that it is better to let 10
guilty people go free than convict an innocent. But you, apparently,
would have us discard our notions of justice and have the accused prove
their innocence.
|
816.102 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:23 | 49 |
| RE: .101 Simpson
>>> Gee, others pick up on the same point, but we're all wrong, aren't we.
>>> How presumptuous of us.
>> Nope. Just wrong.
> This speaks for itself.
Pretty shocking and horrifying that a woman has the GALL to assert that
2 or 3 other people might be <gasp!> wrong about something. (What is
this world coming to when women have this kind of nerve, eh?)
> There is no problem with the legal system. It treats ALL plaintiffs
> this way. The accused is innocent until proven guilty; the prosecution
> must prove its case beyond reasonable doubt.
BS! Other crime victims are treated (by the legal system) as though
the crime really did happen - it's only a matter of proving it.
Rape victims are the ones treated as though they are guilty (of lying)
until proven innocent.
> Are you suggesting that this system is flawed, or that rape should be
> exempt from the rules of evidence?
The system is flawed (when it presumes that women in general are liars
when accusing rape.) It's downright bigotry.
> Nope. But their claim, like all such claims, must be tested. And one
> of the tests is (surprise, surprise): what do they mean when they say
> they were raped, and is that in accord with what is understood to be
> rape?
Well, you've claimed that violence is not a condition of rape, so why
do they have to prove they're in physical pain for you to accept that
this is so (without all the lame excuses about definitions, etc.)??
> 'Tis true I believe in the legal maxim that it is better to let 10
> guilty people go free than convict an innocent. But you, apparently,
> would have us discard our notions of justice and have the accused prove
> their innocence.
Well, in the case of rapists, nearly all of them are let go (except for
a rare few here and there.) I'm sure that makes you happy.
So what if a woman has sex against her will (and feels pain,) right?
Why should sex ruin a poor innocent rapist's life? She'll get over
it. It's just sex (her pain is probably a toothache.)
|
816.103 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:36 | 7 |
| Ahah, so Suzanne's agenda finally comes to light. She wants to throw
out the Constitution and the presumption of innocence in the name of
her cause.
Fat chance.
Mike
|
816.104 | I'm surprised at you, Mike. | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:45 | 10 |
| RE: .103 Mike
> Ahah, so Suzanne's agenda finally comes to light. She wants to throw
> out the Constitution and the presumption of innocence in the name of
> her cause.
Boldfaced lies won't help your (or Simpson's) position, Mike.
I'm surprised to see you resort to this.
|
816.105 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Fri Aug 14 1992 12:59 | 31 |
| re .102
> Pretty shocking and horrifying that a woman has the GALL to assert that
> 2 or 3 other people might be <gasp!> wrong about something. (What is
> this world coming to when women have this kind of nerve, eh?)
Suzanne, your slip is showing. This is twice now that you've asserted
that your sex has somehow influenced my argument. Getting a touch
defensive, are we, because we have been caught telling untruthes and
want to divert attention? No, not you.
> Rape victims are the ones treated as though they are guilty (of lying)
> until proven innocent.
Indeed, the nerve of the courts, asking for evidence upon which to
convict. And, of course, no woman has ever falsely claimed to have
been raped. Mustn't let the rules of evidence interfere with our
feelings now, must we?
> Well, you've claimed that violence is not a condition of rape, so why
Oh, dear, you've confused me with someone else (I explicitly reserved
judgement on the question of non-violent rape) But never mind, don't
let the facts get in the way of your argument.
> Well, in the case of rapists, nearly all of them are let go (except for
> a rare few here and there.) I'm sure that makes you happy.
You love walking the fine line, don't you? But, then, I'm a white
male, so in your brave new world I don't have the right to be offended
by such outrageous assertions as this, do I?
|
816.106 | | PASTIS::MONAHAN | humanity is a trojan horse | Fri Aug 14 1992 13:04 | 17 |
| re: .102
There are many cases (nothing to do with rape) where it is clear
that either one party is guilty of (crime X) or the other party is
guilty of perjury. There have been cases of assault, arson, theft,
where it has been proven that the damage was self-inflicted, and the
court has a right to consider the possibility in those cases.
On the current system it is fairly common that neither is
convicted. Would you prefer a reversal of the rules of evidence such
that there was a reasonable chance that both would be convicted?
In rape cases it is almost always clear (unless there are the
sort of semantic misunderstandings we gave seen here recently) that
either one party is guilty of rape or the other party is guilty of
perjury. With "innocent until proven guilty" neither party may be
imprisoned. If the court case is regarded as a contest then exactly one
party would be the winner.
|
816.107 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 13:11 | 45 |
| RE: .105 Simpson
> Getting a touch defensive, are we, because we have been caught
> telling untruthes and want to divert attention? No, not you.
Speak for yourself. You haven't caught me telling a single untruth,
pal (except in your dreams.)
> Indeed, the nerve of the courts, asking for evidence upon which to
> convict.
I never claimed that evidence shouldn't be expected to get a conviction
in rape cases.
> And, of course, no woman has ever falsely claimed to have
> been raped. Mustn't let the rules of evidence interfere with our
> feelings now, must we?
Well, I guess you think no man has ever lied when he denied committing
a crime, eh? (When it comes to rape, though, it's best to let nearly
all the men go free, though, since it's just simple sex with the minor
difference that the woman didn't consent.)
>> Well, you've claimed that violence is not a condition of rape, so why
> Oh, dear, you've confused me with someone else (I explicitly reserved
> judgement on the question of non-violent rape) But never mind, don't
> let the facts get in the way of your argument.
A clever dodge of my question, Simpson. Nice trick. (Your argument
is so weak, you need all the help you can get from tricks.)
> You love walking the fine line, don't you? But, then, I'm a white
> male, so in your brave new world I don't have the right to be offended
> by such outrageous assertions as this, do I?
I never mentioned your rights, Simpson. You can be as offended as
you like. You've demonstrated the contempt you feel for rape victims
(in general.) Your contempt is noted.
After using dictionary definitions to define rape (in general) as a
violent crime, I've shown that your true concern is not about the
standardization of these definitions. It's just another smoke screen.
Thanks very much for your cooperation.
|
816.108 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 14 1992 13:15 | 50 |
| re .97
<...the very least, rape is likely to be done with 'strong or rough
<force'
I think I understand what you have in mind and if it is that you are
only thinking of adults then I agree that rape is likely to have been
done with 'strong or rough force'. I don't think the same holds true
when children are the victims.
Broadening the victims to include children suggests a rather different
picture, namely that many, many -my hunch is the majority of- rape
victimizations do _not_ involve 'strong or rough force'.
I do not have objectives statistics to support the assertion that the
majority of rapes are perpetrated on minors but I do believe it is
generally accepted that each year there are many more victims of
childhood sexual abuse than adult rape victims.
Starting with that as a -sort of- premise I don't think it is difficult
to conclude that a _huge_ number of (statutory) rape cases do not
involve 'strong or rough force'. In particular for those children
who are sexually abused by the same person(s) over and over again for
many years, 'strong or rough force' is less likely.
As an illustration ...
I know of a young teenager who lived with her father as his lover for
several years (as it happens, with her mother's knowledge). She had
sexual intercourse with her father on a regular basis. I'm sure that
the first n episodes had some elements of pain; I feel equally
confident that after a shortish while the intercourse was without
'strong or rough force. Yet it is clearly rape. The emotion trauma are
egregious and the psychological impact horrific, but no physical pain.
As another example, ...
I have a friend who did some graduate level research on sexual abuse.
Included in her study was a man who had been 'raped' approximately 500
times over the ten years from 6 to 15. In his case, (statutory) rape
meant either doing fellato to others much older, or receiving fellatio
from an adult during the boy's first several years of puberty. Not
once was strong or rough force applied.
If those examples are more representative of childhood rape than the 'more
traditional' examples of rape that I think you have in mind, then it is
less clear that "rape is likely to have been done with 'strong or
rough force'"
But of course, by the time you read this it is too late for it to have
any impact because the discussion has gone far beyond that point. Oh
well
|
816.109 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 13:20 | 10 |
| RE: .108 Herb
> I think I understand what you have in mind and if it is that you are
> only thinking of adults then I agree that rape is likely to have been
> done with 'strong or rough force'.
In a few of my earlier notes in this string, I did make mention of rape
to mentally competant and majority age persons (in general.)
|
816.110 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 13:28 | 22 |
| RE: .103 Mike
Now that I'm over the shock of seeing you resort to a boldfaced lie,
I'll address your statement again...
I'd like rape victims to be treated like other victims of crime
(where they are presumed to have suffered from a crime, but it
STILL takes evidence, etc., to prove it.)
This doesn't change the "innocent until proven guilty" situation
for the accused at all!
I'd like to see our legal system STOP treating rape accusers as
though they are "guilty until proven innocent" for coming forward
to report the rape. Then, it still has to be proved, of course
- but without prejudice towards the accuser for being a female
charging rape.
By the way, prosecutors (and defense attorneys) very often know
without a doubt (in their own minds) that an accused is guilty.
They can't get a conviction unless they prove it, but they aren't
required to THINK the person is innocent until proven guilty.
|
816.111 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:00 | 50 |
| re: .104
I'm lying?
Well, let us have a look at what you said in .102, shall we, and then
let's see who is more nearly correct, okay Suzanne?
First, we have this entry...
>BS! Other crime victims are treated (by the legal system) as though
>the crime really did happen - it's only a matter of proving it.
>
>Rape victims are the ones treated as though they are guilty (of lying)
>until proven innocent.
Then we are treated to this gem...
>The system is flawed (when it presumes that women in general are liars
>when accusing rape.) It's downright bigotry.
And finally we have this interesting vignette.
>Well, in the case of rapists, nearly all of them are let go (except for
>a rare few here and there.) I'm sure that makes you happy.
>
>So what if a woman has sex against her will (and feels pain,) right?
>Why should sex ruin a poor innocent rapist's life? She'll get over
>it. It's just sex (her pain is probably a toothache.)
All of which makes it clear to me, and I think any rational reader
would agree, that you are *furious* that a mere accusation of rape is
considered insufficient evidence to convict a man of the crime, and
that the alleged perpetrator might be able to get off, because the
state cannot prove the woman's allegations without more evidence.
From that I logically infer that you would like to see the rules of
evidence, as guaranteed in the Constitution, changed as they apply to
the crime of rape. You see, under our system, the alleged perpetrator
of a crime has the right to confront the person accusing him/her in a
court of law. And I think you would like to see that altered.
Now then, as a husband and a father of two daughters, I am every bit as
outraged as you that women are far too often victimized by rapists, and
I frequently fear for their lives and well-being in that regard when I
know they are in situations that are potentially dangerous. Still, I
cannot, in good conscience, advocate that we throw out one of our most
cherished and valuable aspects of our system of law just so I can feel
better.
Mike
|
816.112 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:14 | 53 |
| RE: .111 Mike
> All of which makes it clear to me, and I think any rational reader
> would agree,
Mike, Mike, Mike - your fuzzy thinking is kinda sad, but please don't
accuse others of suffering from the same affliction, ok?
> ...that you are *furious* that a mere accusation of rape is
> considered insufficient evidence to convict a man of the crime, and
> that the alleged perpetrator might be able to get off, because the
> state cannot prove the woman's allegations without more evidence.
Well, since I stated explicitly that rape crimes should be prosecuted
with the same requirements for evidence as other crimes, your assumption
is just plain silly. (I'd say it's meanspirited, but I think you're
basically a nice guy.)
> From that I logically infer that you would like to see the rules of
> evidence, as guaranteed in the Constitution, changed as they apply to
> the crime of rape.
Anything you infer from an incorrect assumption (on your part) is
bound to be seriously flawed, as this demonstrates. Tsk, Tsk.
> You see, under our system, the alleged perpetrator
> of a crime has the right to confront the person accusing him/her in a
> court of law. And I think you would like to see that altered.
WHAT??? You made this up, too (out of the clear blue sky.) I said
nothing whatever about rape accusers not having to face the accused.
What is wrong with you?
> Still, I cannot, in good conscience, advocate that we throw out one
> of our most cherished and valuable aspects of our system of law just
> so I can feel better.
NO one (including me) has asked you to do this.
However, I do realize that it's far easier to yell about arguments
I haven't made (and requests I've said nothing about) than to face
the fact that the system treats women rape accusers differently
(worse!) than other crime victims.
Would your wife or daughters lie about being raped? Well, our society
presumes they would (if they ever came forward to report rape.) They
are women, after all. Hell, they probably don't know the difference
being fantasy and reality, either (even if your wife and daughters
happen to be distinguished Law professors.)
Do you like being the spouse and parent of people whom society assumes
would most likely lie in this situation? Doesn't that sound like a
rather unfair assumption?
|
816.113 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:19 | 35 |
| re: .110
This is a more reasoned reply, and has a much better flavor than your
last one.
On to business:
>I'd like to see our legal system STOP treating rape accusers as
>though they are "guilty until proven innocent" for coming forward
>to report the rape. Then, it still has to be proved, of course
>- but without prejudice towards the accuser for being a female
>charging rape.
If this is what is happening, I'd like to see the same thing. However,
I see no evidence that indicates that police personnel and prosecutors,
in general, are that unsympathetic to women who have been raped. Not
that one couldn't come up with some anecdotal evidence in one case or
another. If individuals are acting badly, then they need to have their
behavior corrected. But that is hardly sufficient reason to change the
way the whole legal process works.
>By the way, prosecutors (and defense attorneys) very often know
>without a doubt (in their own minds) that an accused is guilty.
>They can't get a conviction unless they prove it, but they aren't
>required to THINK the person is innocent until proven guilty.
This one troubles me a bit. You seem to be advocating that officers of
the court be required to think in certain ways, even while doing
his/her job that might require them to act differently. Are you sure
that this is what you want? I can't even imagine how you could
regulate this sort of thing. Can you?
Mike
|
816.114 | What????? | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:25 | 30 |
| RE: .113 Mike
> If individuals are acting badly, then they need to have their
> behavior corrected. But that is hardly sufficient reason to change the
> way the whole legal process works.
Mike, no one here has asked that we change the way the whole legal
process works, for God's sake. I've asked that the legal system
stop assuming that rape victims are guilty (of lying) until proven
innocent (because it goes AGAINST the rest of our system.)
>>By the way, prosecutors (and defense attorneys) very often know
>>without a doubt (in their own minds) that an accused is guilty.
>>They can't get a conviction unless they prove it, but they aren't
>>required to THINK the person is innocent until proven guilty.
>This one troubles me a bit. You seem to be advocating that officers of
>the court be required to think in certain ways, even while doing
>his/her job that might require them to act differently. Are you sure
>that this is what you want? I can't even imagine how you could
>regulate this sort of thing. Can you?
HUH?????? I'm talking about what the officers of the court THINK about
the accused (and that sometimes they THINK the accused is guilty.)
What on Earth made you assume I was looking to require that the officers
of the court think anything (in particular)??? I was only commenting
on what they DO think (sometimes) about people accused of crimes.
What's the deal here??
|
816.115 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:32 | 17 |
| <Would your wife or daughters lie about being raped? Well, our society
<presumes they would (if they ever came forward to report rape.)
Our system of justice requires that proof of a crime be established.
Our system of justice presumes that the accused is innocent
till proven guilty.
These have the implication in our system of justice of effectively
or implicitly saying that the burden of proof lies on the person
reporting the crime.
This has the very, very sad implication of setting up that women and
children (and the rare man) be subjected to psychological battering
rams by the defense attorney and others.
I think it is abyssmal, I think it is prehistoric, I think it is
unspeakably unfair to women and children who have been raped.
I would VERY much like to hear a better approach. (that would not
violate defendants rights)
|
816.116 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:33 | 74 |
| re: .112
>Well, since I stated explicitly that rape crimes should be prosecuted
>with the same requirements for evidence as other crimes, your assumption
>is just plain silly. (I'd say it's meanspirited, but I think you're
>basically a nice guy.)
Suzanne, you didn't say this until after I entered .103. Or if you
did, I missed it. Show me a pointer to something you wrote prior to
your .102, and I shall consider myself properly chastened.
>Anything you infer from an incorrect assumption (on your part) is
>bound to be seriously flawed, as this demonstrates. Tsk, Tsk.
Hence, my assumption remains valid, for the moment at least.
>> You see, under our system, the alleged perpetrator
>> of a crime has the right to confront the person accusing him/her in a
>> court of law. And I think you would like to see that altered.
>WHAT??? You made this up, too (out of the clear blue sky.) I said
>nothing whatever about rape accusers not having to face the accused.
>What is wrong with you?
Nothing. I merely expressed an opinion based on a logical deduction
that follows from what I believed you were advocating.
>> Still, I cannot, in good conscience, advocate that we throw out one
>> of our most cherished and valuable aspects of our system of law just
>> so I can feel better.
>NO one (including me) has asked you to do this.
In so many words, you have not. What you have done is grouse about the
way the current system works, and said you want to change it. Since
you didn't elucidate to what extent you wished to change the system,
and since you were expressing you thoughts in rather strong language, I
might, perhaps, be forgiven for assuming you wanted to change the
system on a rather large scale.
>However, I do realize that it's far easier to yell about arguments
>I haven't made (and requests I've said nothing about) than to face
>the fact that the system treats women rape accusers differently
>(worse!) than other crime victims.
As I said in my last reply, I am unaware of any evidence that this
happens regularly.
>Would your wife or daughters lie about being raped?
I don't know. I would like to think not, but given they are human
beings with all the flaws we are heir to, it certainly is not an
absolute impossibility.
>Well, our society presumes they would (if they ever came forward to
>report rape.)
As I have indicated above, I see no such pandemic situation.
>They are women, after all. Hell, they probably don't know the
>difference being fantasy and reality, either (even if your wife and
>daughters happen to be distinguished Law professors.)
Now you are getting insulting to me and to my family. Please stop.
>Do you like being the spouse and parent of people whom society assumes
>would most likely lie in this situation? Doesn't that sound like a
>rather unfair assumption?
Suzanne, the only unfair assumptions I see being made at this point
are your own.
Mike
|
816.117 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:47 | 11 |
| re: .113
Suzzane, what can I say? We both use the same language, we both write
the same words, but yet it seems like we are seeing different meanings
in the words we write. Perhaps we would both be better served if we
just disengage from this discussion while we can still be civil to one
another. Perhaps we can try again some other time.
What do you say?
Mike
|
816.118 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:50 | 63 |
| RE: .116 Mike Smith
> Suzanne, you didn't say this until after I entered .103. Or if you
> did, I missed it. Show me a pointer to something you wrote prior to
> your .102, and I shall consider myself properly chastened.
Your comments were entered in .111 (after I had stated something
explicitly to the contrary in .110) - so you are to be chastised
for it.
>>Anything you infer from an incorrect assumption (on your part) is
>>bound to be seriously flawed, as this demonstrates. Tsk, Tsk.
>Hence, my assumption remains valid, for the moment at least.
It's now been shown to be invalid. Glad we got this settled.
> Nothing. I merely expressed an opinion based on a logical deduction
> that follows from what I believed you were advocating.
You based your "logical deduction" on a mistaken assumption. Not good.
>>NO one (including me) has asked you to do this.
>In so many words, you have not. What you have done is grouse about the
>way the current system works, and said you want to change it.
So you just assumed I wanted to change the whole doggone thing. (Gee,
it's as good a mistaken assumption as any, I guess, and it makes for
an easier target for a tirade.)
> ...I might, perhaps, be forgiven for assuming you wanted to change the
> system on a rather large scale.
You might. (We'll see.) :>
>> Would your wife or daughters lie about being raped?
> I don't know. I would like to think not, but given they are human
> beings with all the flaws we are heir to, it certainly is not an
> absolute impossibility.
Our legal system would treat them as though it were probable.
>>They are women, after all. Hell, they probably don't know the
>>difference being fantasy and reality, either (even if your wife and
>>daughters happen to be distinguished Law professors.)
>Now you are getting insulting to me and to my family. Please stop.
Sorry you misunderstood this. It was a direct reference to the way
Anita Hill was treated when she accused Clarence Thomas of sexual
harassment. (It was also a reference to the fact that a common
defense for rape accusations is the accuser's presumed insanity and/or
inability to distinguish fantasy from reality.)
As women, your wife and daughters are subject to this same prejudice
(and it's the prejudice that I'm against, not your family.)
Please cease and desist from making wild assumptions about what I
think (or am saying) until you check with me. It's absolutely
pointless to keep having to answer to your mistaken beliefs in
my position!!!
|
816.119 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 14:56 | 14 |
| RE: .117 Mike Smith
> re: .113
> Suzzane, what can I say?
I didn't write .113, so I'm not sure what this reply is supposed to
be addressing.
I do agree we should cool it. Nearly all your vehement arguments
have been about things I didn't say (and don't believe,) so obviously,
further argument is kinda pointless.
When/if you ever care to address what I've really been saying, then
perhaps we can try again sometime.
|
816.121 | in other words, I screwed up! | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 15:18 | 11 |
| re: .117
No you didn't write .113. You wrote .114, and that was the reply to
which I was rejoining.
As regards to what you have "really" been saying, I am still quite as
mystified as before.
'Nuff said.
Mike
|
816.120 | | SOLVIT::MSMITH | So, what does it all mean? | Fri Aug 14 1992 15:27 | 15 |
| re: .118
Well, it's like this. I wrote and entered my .111 before you I read
your entries in .110. If you will notice, my .111 refers directly to
an entry of yours earlier than .110. So, based on what I knew at the
time, my comments were still valid. Therefore, I hereby absolve myself
of any charges of mean-spiritedness.
So there!
As regards Anita Hill's entry into the discussion, well, I guess I my
decoder ring needs a tune-up, because I had no idea she had anything to
do with the crime of rape and the our legal system.
Mike
|
816.122 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 15:39 | 22 |
| RE: .120 Mike Smith
> So, based on what I knew at the time, my comments were still valid.
They were still wild assumptions, though, of course. :>
> Therefore, I hereby absolve myself of any charges of mean-spiritedness.
Now, now. I told you before that I wouldn't accuse you of such a
thing (since you are basically a nice guy, IMO.)
> As regards Anita Hill's entry into the discussion, well, I guess I my
> decoder ring needs a tune-up, because I had no idea she had anything to
> do with the crime of rape and the our legal system.
She has much to do with examples of the prejudice women receive in our
system (legal and otherwise) when they come forward with accusations
about rape or sexual harassment. It's the same prejudice the women
in your family would be faced with (in similar circumstances,) which
is why I brought it up.
All clear. OK?
|
816.123 | still going...and going...and | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 16:25 | 14 |
| re .122
> She has much to do with examples of the prejudice women receive in our
> system (legal and otherwise) when they come forward with accusations
> about rape or sexual harassment. It's the same prejudice the women
> in your family would be faced with (in similar circumstances,) which
> is why I brought it up.
Actually this appears to be yet another example of how you want to
have it where one woman's testimony without any credible evidence
to back it up should be taken as gospel and used to hang the
"offending" male.
fred();
|
816.124 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 16:53 | 27 |
| RE: .123 Fred
> Actually this appears to be yet another example of how you want to
> have it where one woman's testimony without any credible evidence
> to back it up should be taken as gospel and used to hang the
> "offending" male.
Nope. This is yet another example of how people argue about all sorts
of things they IMAGINE I might think (because they can't argue against
what I've actually written.)
I'm complaining about the way they treated Anita Hill. (They accepted
- as a defense for Thomas - that she doesn't know fantasy from reality,
which is nothing more than an offensive, bigoted stereotype about
women.)
If they had acted without this bigotry, they would have treated her
like the respected Republican, conservative Law professor that she
is (and would have weighed her testimony against his, then would
have voted for his confirmation according to their impressions about
the two speakers.) Perhaps Thomas would have been confirmed anyway,
but at least they wouldn't have displayed bigotry against her.
(Remember, Thomas was NOT on trial for this. He was up for a job.
The committee should have been able to vote to deny him the job on
the basis of what Prof. Hill said - or confirmed him. They didn't
OWE him the job.)
|
816.125 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 14 1992 16:57 | 57 |
| re .109
<In a few of my earlier notes in this string, I did make mention of rape
<to mentally competant and majority age persons (in general.)
Yes I found a couple of references in 816.62 (couldn't find any others)
<The lack of consent is crucial to the definition of the rape of a
<mentally competant and/or majority age person, true.
That sentence certainly talks about the definition of rape for a
mentally competent adult. Did you intend for that sentence to be
restricting _all_ of your rape discussions to mentally competent
adults? If you did, I'm not sure I understand the 2 sentences right
after that sentence...
<However, we aren't forced to limit ourselves to only one crucial
<element in this definition. I'm saying that rape is (in general) also
<a violent crime.
Because "rape (in general)" certainly seems to be talking about rape in
general rather than rape of adult mental competents.
And then a bit later you said
<...Again, the lack of consent (for a mentally competant and/or majority
<age person is a crucial component.)
So I interpreted your rebuttal of Mike's statements to be a limited
rebuttal in the sense that it was stating that consent is a crucial
component for a mentally competent adult. This by implication, I think,
suggests you think there are rapes for which consent is not the issue,
and that you include other rapes (like "rape of children" perhaps?) in
your thinking when you say "rape (in general). (all by way of
explaining the relevance of .108)
Oh, by the way, when I was doing research to get a more complete
understanding of just what kind(s) of rape you had been talking about
above, I came across the following ...
816.43
<In my case, I'm not saying that every person on the planet who has ever
<been raped experienced it as violence. I suppose it is possible for
<a rapist to take the sort of care to be gentle while raping that a loved
<one would take (when accessing a private part of a person's body) - but
<I think it's extremely, extremely rare.
Now it would be immensely human to want to have that statement
grandfathered into "mentally competent adults" but I trust you will
understand that I am reluctant to consider that a reasonable
dispensation. (since the first reference to mentally competant I could
find was in entry 91)
Be that as it may, gentle, considerate, tender, caring rape is not
rare at all among childhood rape victims. (which was my point in .108)
Such rape is none the less horrific, and psychologically devastating.
Indeed it is perhaps even MORE DEVASTATING -certainly more insidious-
than violent rape. In spite of -indeed partly because of- the absence
of 'strong or rough force'.
|
816.126 | Sorry Suzanne, I don't buy it | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:10 | 29 |
| re .124
> I'm complaining about the way they treated Anita Hill. (They accepted
> - as a defense for Thomas - that she doesn't know fantasy from reality,
> which is nothing more than an offensive, bigoted stereotype about
> women.)
>
> If they had acted without this bigotry, they would have treated her
> like the respected Republican, conservative Law professor that she
> is (and would have weighed her testimony against his, then would
> have voted for his confirmation according to their impressions about
> the two speakers.) Perhaps Thomas would have been confirmed anyway,
> but at least they wouldn't have displayed bigotry against her.
As I read this, because the committee didn't agree with _you_
and the rest of A.H.'s supporters then they are a bunch of
biggots? Because they chose to give the accused ( Thomas ) the
benefit of the doubt because there was not one shred of credible
evidence to back up A.H's story then they are biggots? Wasn't it
you who was complaining not too many notes back about Label-and-attack?
I didn't see anyone treating Thomas with kid gloves. He took some
pretty nasty shots himself. But I guess that Anita should have
been treated with decency and respect do a *woman*, huh?
If you want to look at things that way, Jennifer Flowers had a *lot*
more cooberating evidence that Anita Hill did.
fred();
|
816.127 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:25 | 49 |
| RE: .126 Fred
> As I read this, because the committee didn't agree with _you_
> and the rest of A.H.'s supporters then they are a bunch of
> biggots?
You read this dead wrong.
I stated specifically that they STILL could have confirmed Thomas
after treating Anita Hill without bigotry.
> Because they chose to give the accused ( Thomas ) the
> benefit of the doubt because there was not one shred of credible
> evidence to back up A.H's story then they are biggots?
NO, you are absolutely dead wrong (again) about what I wrote.
I only wanted them to refrain from using bigoted stereotypes (against
Anita Hill) as a defense for Thomas. If they had still confirmed
Thomas afterward, FINE.
> Wasn't it you who was complaining not too many notes back about
> Label-and-attack?
I haven't called anyone here a bigot. (I trust that no one here was
on the Senate committee at the time of the Thomas hearings.)
> I didn't see anyone treating Thomas with kid gloves. He took some
> pretty nasty shots himself.
They treated Thomas with NOTHING but kid gloves. Even the Democrats
were kind to him (especially after his whine about being lynched.)
> But I guess that Anita should have been treated with decency and
> respect do a *woman*, huh?
If Anita Hill had been treated with as much respect as the Senators
treated Clarence Thomas, I wouldn't be mentioning it here now.
(They didn't!)
> If you want to look at things that way, Jennifer Flowers had a *lot*
> more cooberating evidence that Anita Hill did.
Ms. Flowers' dates/times for the claimed motel incident (or whatever,)
did NOT pan out. The press followed up on her claims and the story
did not jive. However, if you like accusations against Presidential
candidates, then you should be happy to believe that Bush had an
affair (since it was a man who accused him, and surely he wasn't
fantasizing.)
|
816.128 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:27 | 5 |
|
THIS IS NOT A NOTE.
fred();
|
816.129 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:29 | 17 |
| I'm going to post my original comments again for you, Fred. Please
comment (next time) on what I actually write, not on what you WISH I'd
write:
"I'm complaining about the way they treated Anita Hill. (They accepted
- as a defense for Thomas - that she doesn't know fantasy from reality,
which is nothing more than an offensive, bigoted stereotype about
women.)
"If they had acted without this bigotry, they would have treated her
like the respected Republican, conservative Law professor that she
is (and would have weighed her testimony against his, then would
have voted for his confirmation according to their impressions about
the two speakers.) Perhaps Thomas would have been confirmed anyway,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
but at least they wouldn't have displayed bigotry against her."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|
816.130 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:35 | 9 |
|
it's kid of hard to tell just *what* you are trying to say Suzanne.
When someone tries to respond to what you write, then you deny that
that was what you wrote or at that was not what you meant.
Then at other times you seem to be arguing both sides of he fence
depending on which side of the fence suits our purpose at the time.
fred();
|
816.131 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:46 | 19 |
| RE: .130 Fred
> it's kid of hard to tell just *what* you are trying to say Suzanne.
> When someone tries to respond to what you write, then you deny that
> that was what you wrote or at that was not what you meant.
When people invent things to argue about (instead of responding to
what I actually wrote,) it's entirely appropriate for me to point
it out to them. Why should I defend positions I don't hold (and
haven't espoused.) It would be pretty pointless.
> Then at other times you seem to be arguing both sides of he fence
> depending on which side of the fence suits our purpose at the time.
The problem is - I don't fit the mold for the stereotype you've
created about Liberals/feminists/etc. (so you're totally confused.)
The stereotype is a crock anyway, which is why you're having this
problem.
|
816.132 | If you say it loud enough and often enough? | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 17:52 | 13 |
| re .131
> The problem is - I don't fit the mold for the stereotype you've
> created about Liberals/feminists/etc. (so you're totally confused.)
On the contrary Suzanne, you're a shining example.
> The stereotype is a crock anyway, which is why you're having this
> problem.
I think that's what you would *like* us to believe.
fred();
|
816.133 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 18:03 | 24 |
| RE: .132 Fred
>> The problem is - I don't fit the mold for the stereotype you've
>> created about Liberals/feminists/etc. (so you're totally confused.)
> On the contrary Suzanne, you're a shining example.
If I'd said even 1/10th the things you've convinced yourself I've said
(in spite of the overwhelming evidence that I have NOT,) this might
be the case. It's not true, though, and you don't have the slightest
idea how to handle it. Your arguments are geared to respond only
to your own stereotypes (and nothing else.)
>> The stereotype is a crock anyway, which is why you're having this
>> problem.
> I think that's what you would *like* us to believe.
Your stereotype involves all sorts of things I don't say nor believe,
so I know the stereotype is a crock. (I don't feel the slightest need
to prove it to you.)
If you confined your arguments to what I actually write (and believe,)
you wouldn't have the slightest idea what to say to me.
|
816.134 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 18:06 | 16 |
|
reply .133
> Your stereotype involves all sorts of things I don't say nor believe,
> so I know the stereotype is a crock. (I don't feel the slightest need
> to prove it to you.)
So we're back to the point where I have to prove my point to your
satisfaction or else I loose.
> If you confined your arguments to what I actually write (and believe,)
> you wouldn't have the slightest idea what to say to me.
I think this statement alone speaks volumes.
fred();
|
816.135 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 18:57 | 27 |
| RE: .134 Fred
>> Your stereotype involves all sorts of things I don't say nor believe,
>> so I know the stereotype is a crock. (I don't feel the slightest need
>> to prove it to you.)
> So we're back to the point where I have to prove my point to your
> satisfaction or else I loose.
Nope. If the only way you can argue with me is to make all sorts of
wild (and patently false) accusations about what I've said (based on
your absurd stereotypes,) then you're engaging in pointless nonsense.
I tried to show this to you once before by asking how it would be
if I interpreted every word you said as (something like) "Fred wants
all women to be raped," and you went nuts. You asked moderators to
disallow it (as if I'd really said it.) The analogy went totally
over your head.
Watch - even now, you're going to claim I've really said this about
you (and you'll wail endlessly to moderators about it.)
You have a reading disability when it comes to certain people's words.
You are incapable of comprehending anything beyond your own stereotypes
(enough to see some types of people as individual human beings.)
It's a terrible problem for you. I hope you fix it someday.
|
816.136 | | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Fri Aug 14 1992 19:11 | 20 |
|
re .135
> Watch - even now, you're going to claim I've really said this about
> you (and you'll wail endlessly to moderators about it.)
>
> You have a reading disability when it comes to certain people's words.
> You are incapable of comprehending anything beyond your own stereotypes
> (enough to see some types of people as individual human beings.)
>
> It's a terrible problem for you. I hope you fix it someday.
>
I think I'll decline to get down in the muck with you Suzanne. Mainly
since I've long noted that personal attacks *by* certain people in
this notes file are not necessarily the same as personal attacks
*against* those same people.
fred();
|
816.137 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 19:12 | 12 |
| RE: .134 Fred
>> If you confined your arguments to what I actually write (and believe,)
>> you wouldn't have the slightest idea what to say to me.
> I think this statement alone speaks volumes.
You wouldn't know how to argue *against* what I'm saying (which is
why you stick to your old stereotypes instead, and rant against those.)
It's a sort of "short cut" for you (so you don't have to think about
reacting to me as an individual human being.)
|
816.138 | You missed it again (even after it was pointed out directly.) | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 14 1992 19:14 | 11 |
| RE: .136 Fred
> ... I've long noted that personal attacks *by* certain people in
> this notes file are not necessarily the same as personal attacks
> *against* those same people.
See? It went right over your head (yet again.)
It's ok, Fred, if you never figure out that I'm an individual human
being. I no longer expect it of you, anyway.
|
816.139 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Sat Aug 15 1992 13:19 | 5 |
| .82> Well, my opinion is that rape (in general) is a violent crime, and
.82> I'm using the dictionary definition for the word "violent" (as some
.82> others have requested.)
Being violent in general does not make it an act of violence.
|
816.140 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Sat Aug 15 1992 13:31 | 10 |
| .94> Well, unfortunately, we do seem to be using different definitions
.94> of violence, I admit. I've been using the dictionary definition,
.94> while you have devised your own definition of violence (from God
Really? You have?
That surprises me. .86 anthologizes the various ways you've defined
and characterized violence - not only are there about 5 distinct and
seemingly conflicting defintions, none of them appear to have much to
do with the definition in 816.25. Are you using a different one?
|
816.141 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Sat Aug 15 1992 13:42 | 3 |
| .111> and I think any rational reader would agree
Yes, but remember, the key word is rational.
|
816.143 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sat Aug 15 1992 15:39 | 17 |
| RE: .140 Mike Z.
.94> I've been using the dictionary definition [of violent]...
> Really? You have?
> That surprises me.
I've only defined violence ONCE (and here's what I wrote):
.94> Here's the dictionary definition of violent:
.94>violent, adj. 1 acting or done with strong, rough force: a violent
.94>blow, violent exercise, a violent storm. syn: fierce, furious. 2 caused
.94>by strong, rough force: a violent death. 3 showing or caused by very
.94>strong feeling or action: violent language, a violent rage. syn:
.94>vehement. 4 very great, severe, extreme: a violent pain, violent heat,
.94>a violent headache. 5 that tends to distort meaning.
|
816.142 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sat Aug 15 1992 15:40 | 11 |
| RE: .139 Mike Z.
.82> Well, my opinion is that rape (in general) is a violent crime, and
.82> I'm using the dictionary definition for the word "violent" (as some
.82> others have requested.)
> Being violent in general does not make it an act of violence.
Rape (in general) is a violent crime, which means that many/most
occurrences of rape invole "acting or done with strong OR rough
force," which is included in the dictionary definition of violent.
|
816.144 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sat Aug 15 1992 15:43 | 7 |
| RE: .141 Mike Z.
> Yes, but remember, the key word is rational.
Now, be nice to these folks. They're trying their best to understand
this issue, I'm sure.
|
816.145 | simple, really | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Sat Aug 15 1992 16:54 | 9 |
| re:.142
Are we having a problem communicating?
If a crime is sometimes violent, or, as you say, violent in general,
then that crime is sometimes not violent.
It is therfore incorrect to state that the crime is one of violence,
since it can and does occur without violence.
|
816.146 | Yes, it's very simple. | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sat Aug 15 1992 17:31 | 16 |
| RE: .145 Mike Z.
> If a crime is sometimes violent, or, as you say, violent in general,
> then that crime is sometimes not violent.
If a crime is most often violent (per the dictionary definition of
violent as "acting or done with strong OR rough force,") then it
can be described as a violent crime.
> It is therfore incorrect to state that the crime is one of violence,
> since it can and does occur without violence.
Not all murders include violence (it's possible to kill someone by
dropping cyanide into food or drink without their knowledge,) yet
it is still regarded as a violent crime. The same applies to
rape.
|
816.147 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Sat Aug 15 1992 18:30 | 4 |
| .146> violent as "acting or done with strong OR rough force,") then it
.146> can be described as a violent crime.
Not if you want to be accurate.
|
816.148 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sat Aug 15 1992 18:50 | 12 |
| RE: .147 Mike Z.
.146> violent as "acting or done with strong OR rough force,") then it
.146> can be described as a violent crime.
> Not if you want to be accurate.
If you want to ascribe to the dictionary definition of violent, my
statement *is* accurate (as accurate as describing murder as a violent
crime although it is possible to commit murder without the use of
the dictionary definition of violent.)
|
816.149 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sat Aug 15 1992 18:51 | 4 |
| Mike Z. - please answer this question:
Do you consider murder a crime of violence?
|
816.150 | good question to ask... now do you see? | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | but I _like_ tuna! | Sat Aug 15 1992 19:46 | 8 |
| Surely, sometimes. Even most of the time.
That doesn't mean that one can truthfully classify murder as a crime
of violence, for one who does that will be wrong on occasion.
Murder is a crime of premeditated killing.
Rape is a crime of sex without consent.
|
816.151 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Sun Aug 16 1992 14:46 | 32 |
| RE: .150 Mike Z.
>> Do you consider murder a crime of violence?
> Surely, sometimes. Even most of the time.
The same is true of rape.
> That doesn't mean that one can truthfully classify murder as a crime
> of violence, for one who does that will be wrong on occasion.
In your opinon, of course. Murder (in general) is most often regarded
as a violent crime in our culture.
> Murder is a crime of premeditated killing.
This is inaccurate. "Premeditation" is a condition of murder in the
first degree. Other murder charges allow that the crime was NOT
premeditated (but was still murder.)
Both rape and murder (in general) are crimes of violence (and are
regarded as such by those who keep and report the stats on crime.)
If you happen to ascribe to a non-standard definition of violent
crime, that's your tough luck.
For example, if you define "violent crime" as a crime in which 100%
of all possible cases must be distinctly violent (making violence a
necessary condition for the act to be called a crime,) then you're
just confused. Violence is not a necessary condition for rape or
murder to be a crime. Rape and murder are regarded as violent crimes
in our culture, however.
|
816.152 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Sun Aug 16 1992 15:30 | 6 |
| Sigh.
You continue to call rape a violent crime, even while recognizing that
not all rapes involve violence.
If you can live with that contradiction, then so be it.
|
816.153 | | GORE::CONLON | | Sun Aug 16 1992 20:09 | 13 |
| RE: .152 Mike Z.
> You continue to call rape a violent crime, even while recognizing that
> not all rapes involve violence.
Quite a few people in our society continue to call murder a violent
crime, even while recognizing that not all murders involve violence.
> If you can live with that contradiction, then so be it.
Our culture (and our language) doesn't seem to regard it as a
contradiction (to call murder a violent crime, for example) -
but if this common use of our language bothers you, so be it.
|
816.154 | | 43GMC::KEITH | Real men double clutch | Mon Aug 17 1992 08:30 | 15 |
| I was watching the movie "V. I. Warshawski" the other night. In it at one
point while holding a gun to a mans head she grabbed him with a 'nut
cracker' and squeezed information out of him.
Is this sexual assault?
Is it rape?
What should the penality be?
What about a woman retaliating by a kick to the b*s for something said
(NOT done). After all, the victum could be permanently injured.
Comments?
Steve
|
816.155 | | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Mon Aug 17 1992 10:41 | 35 |
| <<< Note 816.154 by 43GMC::KEITH "Real men double clutch" >>>
>> I was watching the movie "V. I. Warshawski" the other night. In it at one
>> point while holding a gun to a mans head she grabbed him with a 'nut
>> cracker' and squeezed information out of him.
>> Is this sexual assault?
Assault? Yes
Sexual assault? No
>> Is it rape?
No
>> What should the penality be?
The same as any other aggravated assault.
>> What about a woman retaliating by a kick to the b*s for something said
>> (NOT done). After all, the victum could be permanently injured.
Aggravated assault.
>> Comments?
>> Steve
In my opinion the rules for sexual assault/rape are fairly simple.
If someone does not give consent or is incapable of giving consent
and the perpetrator proceeds with a sexual act they are guilty of
sexual assault or rape. Violence, whether it be emotional, physical
or mental is simply a means of making the case easier for an
American jury to find someone guilty of the crime.
Patrick
|
816.156 | | 43GMC::KEITH | Real men double clutch | Tue Aug 18 1992 08:25 | 39 |
| RE Note 816.155 Is sexual abuse/rape always 'violent' and other defini
BSS::P_BADOVINAC 35 lines 17-AUG-1992 09:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<<< Note 816.154 by 43GMC::KEITH "Real men double clutch" >>>
>>> I was watching the movie "V. I. Warshawski" the other night. In it at one
>>> point while holding a gun to a mans head she grabbed him with a 'nut
>>> cracker' and squeezed information out of him.
>>> Is this sexual assault?
> Assault? Yes
> Sexual assault? No
So grabbing a woman by the breast, or vulva is NOT sexual assault?
>>> Is it rape?
> No
I agree
>>> What should the penality be?
> The same as any other aggravated assault.
I guess we disagree because of the type of assault
>>> What about a woman retaliating by a kick to the b*s for something said
>>> (NOT done). After all, the victum could be permanently injured.
> Aggravated assault.
I disagree again. I think in our society if the roles were reversed,
the penality/crime would be different (as I think it should)
Steve
|
816.157 | violent agreement | PENUTS::DDESMAISONS | | Tue Aug 18 1992 13:46 | 13 |
|
>> If a crime is most often violent (per the dictionary definition of
>> violent as "acting or done with strong OR rough force,") then it
>> can be described as a violent crime.
Suzanne, after reading through this excruciatingly pedantic series,
I believe it does come down to just this, as you said. Violence
is defined as the abusive or unjust exercise of power. How can
rape be described as anything else but a violent crime? I agree
with you and salute your fortitude, at the very least.
Diane
|
816.158 | ? | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Tue Aug 18 1992 14:11 | 3 |
| .157> Violence is defined as the abusive or unjust exercise of power.
Whose definition of violence is that?
|
816.159 | Okay! I give up! Here, take it! | SMURF::BINDER | Ut aperies opera | Tue Aug 18 1992 15:08 | 24 |
| Re: violence, definition of
Enough. Here, for all and sundry, is the verbatim definition of
violence from Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary:
violence [pronunciation omitted] n [ME, fr. OF, fr. L. "violentia," fr.
"violentus"] (13c) 1 a: exertion of physical force so as to injure or
abuse (as in effecting illegal entry into a house) b: an instance of
violent treatment or procedure 2: injury by or as if by distortion,
infringement, or profanation: OUTRAGE 3 a: intense, turbulent, or
furious and often destructive action or force (the ~ of the storm) b:
vehement feeling or expression: FERVOR; also: an instance of such
action or feeling c: a clashing or jarring quality: DISCORDANCE 4:
undue alteration (as of wording or sense in editing a text)
I refer the reader most specifically to definition 2 as being directly
applicable to all forms of sexual abuse, whether by physical force or
not.
Now that an unarguably valid definition has been posted here, in this
topic, where it won't be missed, may we please proceed to discussion of
the issues instead of worrying to death the niggling non-issues???
-dick
|
816.160 | but, is this discussion about definitions, really? | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Tue Aug 18 1992 16:16 | 28 |
| Webster's Third New Internation Dictionary unabridged 1976 (since its
publishing history shows every 5 years, it is likely that 3 editions have
been published since then. In any case ...
pg 2554
1 a:exertion of any physical force so as to injure or abuse (as in warfare
or in effecting an entrance into a house)
b:an instance of violent treatment or procedure.
2: injury in the form of revoking, repudiation, distortion, infringement,
or irreverence to a thing, notion, or quality fitly valued or
observed <no violence has been done to expert military opinion - Sir
Winston Churchill> <did unconscious violence to the instincts of the
mystic - V.L. Parrington>
3a: intense, turbulent or furious action, force, or feeling often
destructive <hurled himself around the corner... with almost drunken
violence - Liam O'Flaherty>
b: vehement feeling or expression : fervor,passion, fury <the violence of
a fluent orator whose temper ran away with him - V.A Froude> <violence
such as the normally placid New York art critics seldom resort to - R.
Coates
c: an instance or show of such action or feeling: a tendency to violent
action <the mounting violences of the Whig rabble against their Tory
neighbors - Margaret Evans>
d: clashing, jarring discordant, or abrupt quality <certain freaks and
violences in Mr. Palgrave's criticism - Matthew Arnold> <the violence
of the contrasting colors>
4: undue alteration of wording or sense (as in editing or interpreting a
text.
|
816.161 | an answer for MZ | PENUTS::DDESMAISONS | | Tue Aug 18 1992 16:28 | 9 |
|
>>.157> Violence is defined as the abusive or unjust exercise of power.
>> Whose definition of violence is that?
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language
|
816.162 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Tue Aug 18 1992 16:42 | 3 |
| Are you folks STILL arguing dictionary definitions?
Steve
|
816.163 | I don't think we ever WERE arguing definitions | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Tue Aug 18 1992 16:52 | 2 |
| re .162
Gee. I thought that 816.160 def 4 opened up a whole new vista
|
816.164 | I didn't think it was about definitions 11 days ago, did you? | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Tue Aug 18 1992 17:07 | 16 |
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note 816.12 Is sexual abuse/rape always 'violent' and other definiti 12 of 163
VMSSG::NICHOLS "Conferences are like apple barrels." 17 lines 7-AUG-1992 12:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
.
.
Do you guys agree that you have so much invested in _being right_ that
there is not a snow-ball's chance in hell of reaching agreement?
And unless agreement can be reached, temperate discussion of neither
rape, nor child abuse will take place. Is that the goal?
|
816.165 | what's in a name | PENUTS::DDESMAISONS | | Tue Aug 18 1992 17:30 | 5 |
| >> -< I didn't think it was about definitions 11 days ago, did you? >-
Gee, the note's title is a tad misleading then, isn't it?
|
816.166 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Tue Aug 18 1992 17:34 | 2 |
| If that reply is a measure of either your intelligence or your common
sense then I will enjoy ignoring you from now on
|
816.167 | deux choix | PENUTS::DDESMAISONS | | Tue Aug 18 1992 17:46 | 7 |
|
>> If that reply is a measure of either your intelligence or your common
>> sense then I will enjoy ignoring you from now on
Ooooh, I love multiple choice!
|
816.168 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Tue Aug 18 1992 18:21 | 15 |
| .157> Violence is defined as the abusive or unjust exercise of power.
.161> The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language
Not according to the 1983 edition, p758 :
violence n., 1. physical force exerted so as to cause damage, abuse
or injury. 2. an act or instance of violent action of behavior. 3.
great force or intensity. 4. damage; injury, as to meaning or feeling.
5. vehemence of feeling or expression; fervor.
And, for all those latecomers, we've had a working definition since
816.25. I'm not asking for definitions, I'm asking where new defini-
tions, ones that disagree with 816.25, are coming from.
So, where did the one in .157 come from ... ?
|
816.169 | Quousque tandem abutere, argumentatores, patientiam rationis? | SMURF::BINDER | Ut aperies opera | Tue Aug 18 1992 22:32 | 19 |
| Re: .168
It's on page 1431 of the 1970 edition of the American Heritage, Mike,
and it may appear in later editions.
Given that the word appears on page 758 of your 1983 edition, I submit
that (since the language obviously hasn't gotten any smaller) your
dictionary is abridged and hence not as exhaustive as the larger
edition.
To forestall yet another "Oh, but..." argument, I will point out that
the OED defines "violence" (def. 2) as "an instance or case of violent
or severe treatment; a violent act or proceeding" and "violent" (def.
4a) as "of actions: characterized by the doing of harm or injury."
Rape does harm; hence, it is violent. QED.
Can we PLEASE move on???
-dick
|
816.170 | born again | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Tue Aug 18 1992 23:05 | 8 |
| .169> Rape does harm; hence, it is violent. QED.
Everything does harm.
Everything must therefore be either rape, or violent, or both.
What a revelation! I've seen the light! Halleluja!
Praise be to the new-age Politically Correct idol-worship deity-person.
|
816.171 | rape means viol | ULYSSE::SOULARD | EGALITE / JUSTICE, il faut choisir | Wed Aug 19 1992 04:52 | 8 |
| In french it is easier:
The translation for violence is violence, same meaning as in english.
The translation for rape is viol .
It is clear, in the words, that a "viol" is "violence" either
physical or emotional.
TS
|
816.172 | | SMURF::BINDER | Ut aperies opera | Wed Aug 19 1992 10:33 | 5 |
| Re: .170
Forget it. I've had enough smartass comebacks to last me a while.
-dick
|
816.173 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Wed Aug 19 1992 11:39 | 28 |
| re .159
> Now that an unarguably valid definition has been posted here, in this
I could argue that an American dictionary is not necessarily unarguably
valid, but that would be a nit. As a working definition it will do.
The point in my mind has never been whether rape is a violent crime or
not. In the general sense it is, and I'm not convinced that there can
be rape without violence.
The point always was that many of us object to its being exclusively
defined as such, as opposed to the general meaning of sexual act(s)
without consent. As usual the feminists jumped in early on and tried
to define it as a crime of violence, where violence is an abuse of male
power, and the problem with that is twofold.
In the first place it ignores the sexual content that differentiates
rape from other crimes of violence. One might ask why then we need a
crime of rape at all, since a charge of assault causing grievous bodily
harm or similar would then be equally appropriate.
In the second place the definition of violence meaning an abuse of male
power is too closely tied to radical feminist theories which deride men
generally, and I for one object strenuously to being labelled a rapist,
when I have never raped anyone, for no other reason than the accident
of my sex. If you don't believe that that is what these theories say
then read Brownmiller, Dworkin, McKinnon et al for yourself.
|
816.174 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Wed Aug 19 1992 14:13 | 23 |
| RE: .173 Simpson
> As usual the feminists jumped in early on and tried
> to define it as a crime of violence, where violence is an abuse
> of male power,...
Well, I guess I missed where "feminists" defined violence as an abuse
of male power. Please provide a quote and/or pointer. Thanks.
> In the second place the definition of violence meaning an abuse of male
> power is too closely tied to radical feminist theories which deride men
> generally, and I for one object strenuously to being labelled a rapist,
> when I have never raped anyone, for no other reason than the accident
> of my sex.
Wow. You seem to be saying that the characterization of rape as a
violent crime is a matter of labeling all men (including you) as rapists.
So, if we deny that rape victims (in general) suffer violence at the hands
of rapists, it would be less insulting to all men (including you)??
Oh, by all means, let's deny the violence in rape (if it would keep
from hurting your poor little feelings.) Geeeeeeesh.
|
816.175 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Wed Aug 19 1992 14:23 | 5 |
| Suzanne
It looks to me that .173 is a slight gesture of
accomodation/rapprochement.
|
816.176 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 10:13 | 60 |
| .174> Well, I guess I missed where "feminists" defined violence as an abuse
.174> of male power. Please provide a quote and/or pointer. Thanks.
I'm tired of going back and dragging out quotes from earlier notes which you'll
deny anyway. If you can't track what's going on that's your problem.
.174> Wow. You seem to be saying that the characterization of rape as a
.174> violent crime is a matter of labeling all men (including you) as
.174> rapists.
Not only is that not what I said but you know damned well that's not what I
said. I'm convinced that if I said today was Thursday you'd argue about it.
Thus,
.174> So, if we deny that rape victims (in general) suffer violence at the hands
.174> of rapists, it would be less insulting to all men (including you)??
is directly contradicted by this:
> The point in my mind has never been whether rape is a violent crime or
> not. In the general sense it is, and I'm not convinced that there can
> be rape without violence.
What this says, clearly and unambiguously, is that rape in general is violent.
It's even simple enough for you to understand, but you lack the honesty to
admit it. Either that or you have the attention span of a toddler.
My argument follows this way:
> The point always was that many of us object to its being exclusively
> defined as such, as opposed to the general meaning of sexual act(s)
> without consent.
After all, as I pointed out:
> In the first place it ignores the sexual content that differentiates
> rape from other crimes of violence. One might ask why then we need a
> crime of rape at all, since a charge of assault causing grievous bodily
> harm or similar would then be equally appropriate.
> In the second place the definition of violence meaning an abuse of male
> power is too closely tied to radical feminist theories which deride men
> generally, and I for one object strenuously to being labelled a rapist,
> when I have never raped anyone, for no other reason than the accident
> of my sex. If you don't believe that that is what these theories say
> then read Brownmiller, Dworkin, McKinnon et al for yourself.
Then you say:
> Oh, by all means, let's deny the violence in rape (if it would keep
> from hurting your poor little feelings.) Geeeeeeesh.
The only one denying anything is you, but that's typical.
.175> It looks to me that .173 is a slight gesture of
.175> accomodation/rapprochement.
I thought of it more as a succinct statement of my position. I fail utterly to
see any need for me to accomodate someone as deeply dishonest as Suzanne.
|
816.177 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 10:28 | 42 |
| RE: .176 Simpson
.174> Well, I guess I missed where "feminists" defined violence as an abuse
.174> of male power. Please provide a quote and/or pointer. Thanks.
> I'm tired of going back and dragging out quotes from earlier notes
> which you'll deny anyway.
If this means you're accusing ME of defining violence this way, then
I know for sure that this is a boldfaced lie. I never said this at all.
I've only defined violence once in this topic (and I used a requote of
a dictionary definition.)
> If you can't track what's going on that's your problem.
If you think this is a good ploy to cover lies, you're mistaken.
> What this says, clearly and unambiguously, is that rape in general is
> violent.
I'm glad you finally agree with me, however... You seemed to backtrack
somewhat later in your note (IMO.)
> The point always was that many of us object to its being exclusively
> defined as such, as opposed to the general meaning of sexual act(s)
> without consent.
This point is moot because NO ONE has been defining rape exclusively as
violent (as if rape and violence are equivalent.)
> In the second place the definition of violence meaning an abuse of male
> power is too closely tied to radical feminist theories which deride men
> generally, and I for one object strenuously to being labelled a rapist,
Here's where you backtracked somewhat. You seem to want to deny the
violence in rape because it would (in some way) amount to having all
men (including yourself) labeled as rapists. Your point is absurd!!!
> I fail utterly to see any need for me to accomodate someone as deeply
> dishonest as Suzanne.
Lies don't help your argument, Simpson. Try another tactic.
|
816.178 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 10:43 | 17 |
| re .177
<This point is moot because NO ONE has been defining rape exclusively as
<violent (as if rape and violence are equivalent.)
c.f. ...
================================================================================
Note 812.40 Men Being Raped... Discuss 40 of 136
GLDOA::MCBRIDE 8 lines 31-JUL-1992 15:44
-< Rape = Violence >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: 31, 36
Understand that rape is not sexual, it's violence in it's worst form.
When one man rapes another in prision, I don't believe that he is "gay"
(unless he was before) just because he has sex with another man, what
he is is violent-probably goes right along with the reason he is in
there in the first place.
|
816.179 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 10:51 | 39 |
| re .176
> This point is moot because NO ONE has been defining rape exclusively as
> violent (as if rape and violence are equivalent.)
This is a lie.
> Here's where you backtracked somewhat. You seem to want to deny the
> violence in rape because it would (in some way) amount to having all
> men (including yourself) labeled as rapists. Your point is absurd!!!
This is another lie. A barefaced, unashamed, Suzanne Conlon classic
lie. I never denied the violence in rape. Why do you tell so many
lies? Are you incapable of stopping yourself?
I repeat:
It is not violence which defines rape. Rape is sexual act(s) without
consent.
It follows (obvious to anyone but you) that it is entirely consistent
for me to acknowledge that rape and violence are generally connected
while refuting definitions of rape by radical feminists and mindlessly
repeated by their dupes which deny or avoid the crucial sexual aspect
and seek to castigate all men.
What I said (for the third time) was:
> In the first place it ignores the sexual content that differentiates
> rape from other crimes of violence. One might ask why then we need a
> crime of rape at all, since a charge of assault causing grievous bodily
> harm or similar would then be equally appropriate.
> In the second place the definition of violence meaning an abuse of male
> power is too closely tied to radical feminist theories which deride men
> generally, and I for one object strenuously to being labelled a rapist,
> when I have never raped anyone, for no other reason than the accident
> of my sex. If you don't believe that that is what these theories say
> then read Brownmiller, Dworkin, McKinnon et al for yourself.
|
816.180 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 11:17 | 43 |
| RE: .179 Simpson
>> This point is moot because NO ONE has been defining rape exclusively as
>> violent (as if rape and violence are equivalent.)
> This is a lie.
Nonsense. If rape and violence were described as equivalent here, then
people would be calling ALL violent crimes rape. They quite obviously
do not.
>> Here's where you backtracked somewhat. You seem to want to deny the
>> violence in rape because it would (in some way) amount to having all
>> men (including yourself) labeled as rapists. Your point is absurd!!!
> This is another lie. A barefaced, unashamed, Suzanne Conlon classic
> lie. I never denied the violence in rape. Why do you tell so many
> lies? Are you incapable of stopping yourself?
Wow. After I point out a lie you told, you take your "copy cat"
behavior to pretty severe extremes. (Did you feel "outdone" or what?) :>
Look, you may not be "denying" that rape is a violent crime, but you
keep arguing about it (even after you agree with my point,) so it
sounds somewhat like a denial to me. If it's not, then fine. You
do agree with me. I accept it.
> It follows (obvious to anyone but you) that it is entirely consistent
> for me to acknowledge that rape and violence are generally connected
> while refuting definitions of rape by radical feminists and mindlessly
> repeated by their dupes which deny or avoid the crucial sexual aspect
> and seek to castigate all men.
"...and seek to castigate ALL MEN[???]" Gee, why didn't you add, "...and
seek to destroy life in the universe as we know it" (while you were at it.)
It would have been just as silly.
Acknowledging the violence in rape is not a plot to destroy or insult
all men, ok? (Do you comprehend this?????)
I'm sorry if you're so paranoid about feminism that you feel the need
to keep arguing even though you AGREE with the point I've made all
along (about rape in general being a violent crime.)
|
816.185 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 12:37 | 8 |
| Simpson, let's cool this discussion.
We both agree that rape in general is a violent crime, so there's
no point in continuing arguing (to the point of pistols being
drawn.)
Let's just drop it.
|
816.181 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 12:39 | 54 |
| <<< QUARK::NOTES_DISK:[NOTES$LIBRARY]MENNOTES.NOTE;2 >>>
-< Topics Pertaining to Men >-
================================================================================
Note 816.181 Is sexual abuse/rape always 'violent' and other defini 181 of 181
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re .180
> Nonsense. If rape and violence were described as equivalent here, then
> people would be calling ALL violent crimes rape. They quite obviously
> do not.
Precisely my point all along. People generally do not refer to all
violent crimes rape (or, as I pointed out earlier, rape might just as
well be assault causing grievous bodily harm or similar).
But the radical feminists do. They say (do I really have to drag out
the quotes *again*?) that all men are rapists, whether explicitly or
implicitly, and that the penis is nothing more than another weapon.
The absurdity of this is striking, but it is what they say.
> Wow. After I point out a lie you told, you take your "copy cat"
> behavior to pretty severe extremes. (Did you feel "outdone" or what?) :>
Copycat? All you did was throw my name in parenthesis as an obvious
aftethought while having a go a Mike Smith. I've been meticulously
documenting your lies, and they are many.
> Look, you may not be "denying" that rape is a violent crime, but you
> keep arguing about it (even after you agree with my point,) so it
I'm not arguing about it all.
<deleted because one of the moderators doesn't know the difference
between a comment and a question.>
Do I have to repeat what I said for the fourth time? Is the
argument simply too sophisticated for you?
> "...and seek to castigate ALL MEN[???]" Gee, why didn't you add, "...and
> seek to destroy life in the universe as we know it" (while you were at it.)
> It would have been just as silly.
I've never seen the radical feminists say this. Perhaps you have. I
said those who define rape by its violence are doing so as part of
radical feminist theories which seek to degrade all men. I agree that
is silly. But it is what they say, and us white male non-rapists have
every right to object, not only to them, but to their dupes who
mindlessly follow in their footsteps.
> Acknowledging the violence in rape is not a plot to destroy or insult
> all men, ok? (Do you comprehend this?????)
I never said it was. Only you said this. Do you comprehend this?
|
816.184 | Correction: RE: .183 | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 12:48 | 74 |
| RE: .181 Simpson
> Precisely my point all along. People generally do not refer to all
> violent crimes rape...
> But the radical feminists do.
Absolute nonsense!
> They say (do I really have to drag out the quotes *again*?) that all
> men are rapists, whether explicitly or implicitly,...
Simpson, it's your paranoia speaking again. I realize that you do
believe this, though. I doubt I can do anything to help you with
this problem, but I do sympathize.
> ...and that the penis is nothing more than another weapon.
> The absurdity of this is striking, but it is what they say.
"Nothing more" (at all) than a weapon???? First off, no one here
has said this (explicitly or implicitly,) so it's rather pointless
to argue about it. As I said a bit ago, acknowledging the violence
in rape is not a plot to destroy or insult all men, so relax. OK?
> I've been meticulously documenting your lies, and they are many.
Nonsense. You're just upset (you probably dislike finding yourself
agreeing with me.) :>
>> Look, you may not be "denying" that rape is a violent crime, but you
>> keep arguing about it (even after you agree with my point,) so it
> I'm not arguing about it all.
Arguing???? YOU????? Of course, you're not arguing. You're just
thrashing about (hurling insult after insult at me) because you like
me so much.
> [Comments deleted.]
> Do I have to repeat what I said for the fourth time? Is the
> argument simply too sophisticated for you?
Ho hum.
Look - I've already acknowledged that you agree with my point. I'll
acknowledge it again - you agree with me that rape in general is a
violent crime. (Now, pull yourself together, Simpson!!)
> I've never seen the radical feminists say this. Perhaps you have. I
> said those who define rape by its violence are doing so as part of
> radical feminist theories which seek to degrade all men.
If you've never seen radical feminists say this, then why do you
assume that this is "radical feminist theory"? It's only your paranoia!!
> I agree that is silly. But it is what they say,...
You haven't SEEN NOR HEARD "them" say this, though. You're just paranoid.
> ... and us white male non-rapists have every right to object, not only
> to them, but to their dupes who mindlessly follow in their footsteps.
You have "every right to object" to things YOU HAVE NOT SEEN NOR HEARD
"THEM" SAY, though, so you're really objecting to the products of your
own paranoia.
>> Acknowledging the violence in rape is not a plot to destroy or insult
>> all men, ok? (Do you comprehend this?????)
> I never said it was. Only you said this. Do you comprehend this?
The scenerio you've painted in this topic sounds like a plot to degrade
all men. Shall we turn to defining "plot" now?
Your argument is hilarious.
|
816.186 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:13 | 112 |
| re .184
> > They say (do I really have to drag out the quotes *again*?) that all
> > men are rapists, whether explicitly or implicitly,...
> Simpson, it's your paranoia speaking again. I realize that you do
> believe this, though. I doubt I can do anything to help you with
> this problem, but I do sympathize.
This is not paranoia. This is fact. For example:
Brownmiller, 'Against Our Will':
"A world without rapists would be a world in which women moved freely without
fear of men. That _some_ men rape provides a sufficient threat to keep all
women in a constant state of intimidation, forever conscious of the knowledge
that the biological tool must be held in awe for it may turn to a weapon with
sudden swiftness born of harmful intent. Myrmidons to the cause of male
dominance, police-blotter rapists have performed their duty well, so well in
fact that the true meaning of their act has largely gone unnoticed. Rather
than society's aberrants or "spoilers of purity", men who commit rape have
served in effect as front-line masculine shock troops, guerillas in the longest
sustained battle the world has known."
"Man's discovery that his genitalia could serve as a weapon to generate fear
must rank as one of the most important discoveries of prehistoric times, along
with the use of fire and the first crude stone axe. From prehistoric times to
the present, I believe, rape has played a critical function. It is nothing
more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which _all_ men keep
_all_ women in a state of fear."
> to argue about it. As I said a bit ago, acknowledging the violence
> in rape is not a plot to destroy or insult all men, so relax. OK?
And, as I have said several times in a row, acknowledgeing the violence
in rape is not and has never been the point (if you start with 816.173
and work your way forward you'll see that I say this several times).
The point is defining rape as violence in accord with radical feminist
theory, an example of which I have provided.
.180>> Look, you may not be "denying" that rape is a violent crime, but you
.180>> keep arguing about it (even after you agree with my point,) so it
.180> I'm not arguing about it all.
.184> Arguing???? YOU????? Of course, you're not arguing. You're just
.184> thrashing about (hurling insult after insult at me) because you like
.184> me so much.
You really do have problems with the simplest of English language
constructions. I did not say I wasn't arguing (see the quote above).
I said I wasn't arguing about the point in question. The difference in
meaning is significant.
Oh, and as for liking you - as you say, in your dreams.
> > I've never seen the radical feminists say this. Perhaps you have. I
> > said those who define rape by its violence are doing so as part of
> > radical feminist theories which seek to degrade all men.
> If you've never seen radical feminists say this, then why do you
> assume that this is "radical feminist theory"? It's only your paranoia!!
Too dishonest to put in the full quotes, eh? How about I put it all
in, so that the context won't be lost as you intend:
> "...and seek to castigate ALL MEN[???]" Gee, why didn't you add, "...and
> seek to destroy life in the universe as we know it" (while you were at it.)
> It would have been just as silly.
> > I've never seen the radical feminists say this. Perhaps you have. I
> > said those who define rape by its violence are doing so as part of
> > radical feminist theories which seek to degrade all men.
> If you've never seen radical feminists say this, then why do you
> assume that this is "radical feminist theory"? It's only your paranoia!!
The fact that I have yet to see even the most radical of feminists say
(and I quote your fictious invention):
"...and seek to destroy life in the universe as we know it"
is why I never even considered it. You have confused fiction with
reality yet again.
But, back to more of your dishonesty:
> > I agree that is silly. But it is what they say,...
> You haven't SEEN NOR HEARD "them" say this, though. You're just paranoid.
> > ... and us white male non-rapists have every right to object, not only
> > to them, but to their dupes who mindlessly follow in their footsteps.
> You have "every right to object" to things YOU HAVE NOT SEEN NOR HEARD
> "THEM" SAY, though, so you're really objecting to the products of your
> own paranoia.
Here's the full quote:
.181>> "...and seek to castigate ALL MEN[???]" Gee, why didn't you add, "...and
.181>> seek to destroy life in the universe as we know it" (while you were at it.)
.181>> It would have been just as silly.
.181> I've never seen the radical feminists say this. Perhaps you have. I
.181> said those who define rape by its violence are doing so as part of
.181> radical feminist theories which seek to degrade all men. I agree that
.181> is silly. But it is what they say, and us white male non-rapists have
.181> every right to object, not only to them, but to their dupes who
.181> mindlessly follow in their footsteps.
Pistols at dawn?
|
816.187 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:33 | 1 |
| David, still giving those free singing lessons, I see ...
|
816.189 | | 43GMC::KEITH | Real men double clutch | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:35 | 1 |
| Simpson won!
|
816.190 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:40 | 48 |
| RE: .186 Simpson
Per the quote you provided, Brownmiller states:
" ...That _some_ men rape..." "...men who commit rape..."
She doesn't say, "All men are rapists." It's your paranoia again.
> The point is defining rape as violence in accord with radical feminist
> theory, an example of which I have provided.
I'm not sure why so-called "radical feminist theory" frightens you so
much, but it has very little (or nothing) to do with what's being
discussed, as far as I'm concerned.
.184> Arguing???? YOU????? Of course, you're not arguing. You're just
.184> thrashing about (hurling insult after insult at me) because you like
.184> me so much.
> You really do have problems with the simplest of English language
> constructions. I did not say I wasn't arguing (see the quote above).
> I said I wasn't arguing about the point in question.
You really do seem as desperate as ever to argue with me (and to launch
little insults at me) even though you agree with my basic point.
Of course, I was referring to the fact that you're still ARGUING with
me about all this (although you've admitted that you AGREE with my main
point in this discussion.) It seems pretty pointless, but I guess
it's important to you.
>> If you've never seen radical feminists say this, then why do you
>> assume that this is "radical feminist theory"? It's only your paranoia!!
> Too dishonest to put in the full quotes, eh? How about I put it all
> in, so that the context won't be lost as you intend:
Well, I do agree that I misunderstood you when you stated you'd never
seen feminists "say this." I thought you were referring to your own
silly claims about what feminists have said (not my joke about your
claims.) Oh well.
You still haven't provided quotes to support these claims.
> Pistols at dawn?
Completely unnecessary. You agree with my main point in this
discussion, so I'm happy.
|
816.191 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:41 | 6 |
| RE: .189
> Simpson won!
In his (and your) dreams, pal. :>
|
816.192 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:44 | 4 |
| re .190
"It [=rape] is nothing more or less than a conscious process of
intimidation by which _all_ men keep _all_ women in a state of fear."
|
816.193 | re simpson won | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:45 | 2 |
| and the conference lost
|
816.194 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:46 | 4 |
| re .193
So, Herb, should I have conceded the point and let Suzanne coninue her
merry way?
|
816.188 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:49 | 4 |
| re .187
Sure, Mike. I forgot the last bit of the quote so I just kept right on
going. Didn't it say something about irritating pigs?
|
816.195 | and I say this in spite of _agreeing_ with you | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:50 | 68 |
| re .179
<It follows (obvious to anyone but you) that it is entirely consistent
<for me to acknowledge that rape and violence are generally connected
<while refuting definitions of rape by radical feminists and mindlessly
<repeated by their dupes which deny or avoid the crucial sexual aspect
<and seek to castigate all men.
It may follow, but I think it's damned disingenuous in this discussion.
(and I don't think the disingenuousness is justified by somebody else's
disingenuousness. Any more that I think it would be appropriate to
break wind in church and justify it because somebody else did.)
There are very few statements of the form rape = violence in any of
these discussions.
Furthermore, I haven't seen any statements that I reacted to as
"politically motivated radical feminists' statements". I am excluding
Suzanne Conlon from this because I don't consider her contributions on
this -or almost anything else- to be useful because pure argumentation
is such an intrisic part of her noting persona.
I _have_ seen some statements by people that I think reflect their
horror of rape. I sympathize with such people and understand how much
pain they may be in. Why can't you be a little more sympathetic? Why
can't you show some sensitivity to those people? Why couldn't you take
that into consideration when this discussion started two weeks ago?
Why weren't you able almost 2 weeks ago to make the statement quoted
at the beginning, above? If you had, I think that recognition that you
were engaged in a political debate, could have -I think would have-
changed the tone of this discussion very substantially. I don't know of
_anybody_ who was engaged in a radical feminist debate in these
discussions with the possible exception of Suzanne Conlon, whose
contributions ...
There really isn't a whole bunch of practical substance between the
statements
rape is generally violent
and rape is always violent
(although the difference is a veritable mother lode for arguers)
Particularly if one extends the concept of violence to include
"emotional violence" (which is a perfectly clear metaphor)
or if one replaces the statement "rape is always violent" by
"rape is (almost invariably) psychologically traumatic"
To spend two weeks bickering over the difference between
rape is generally violent (or rape is psychologically traumatic)
and
rape is violent
is worse than disingenuous, it's duplicitous, it's downright hurtful.
(in spit of the obvious difference between generally and always).
I believe ...
that rape (virtually) always is psychologically traumatic
emotional violence.
It seems clear that you do as well.
The debating style of searching out differences and attacking weak
'positions' or weakly stated ideas, accomplishes very, very little in
advancement of ideas. It does accomplish a lot in terms of the
'decibel' level of the conference, in terms of a little strutting.
It makes me very sad that so many people seem eager to saboutage important
discussions in the interest of advancing their agendas. Or people
whose principal interest seems not to be to communicate but rather
seems to be to prove others wrong and to show off how clever their
ability to manipulate discussions is. And again the irony is that
people are seldom 'proved' wrong in these discussions. And even more
rarely admit it. (c.f. 816.178)
|
816.196 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:53 | 2 |
| <should I have conceded ...>
I wish you had felt able to!
|
816.197 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:57 | 8 |
| re .195
Herb, you've confused me and my arguments with others. I explicitly
reserved judgement on the issue of whether rape can be non-violent, and
.173 was my first explicit statement on the subject. I did, however,
take issue with the way the word violent was being defined and
redefined. I thus reject the charge of disingenuousness. I have said
what I thought all along.
|
816.198 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 13:57 | 4 |
| <should I have conceded ...>
I dunno, is it comparable to the attempts of teaching pigs to fly?
I think verbal ping pong matches demean both players
|
816.199 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 14:00 | 10 |
| RE: .192 Simpson
> "It [=rape] is nothing more or less than a conscious process of
> intimidation by which _all_ men keep _all_ women in a state of fear."
She already stated (explicitly!!!) that only some men rape, so it is
absurd to conclude the contrary in this statement.
How many times did you expect her to repeat it (that only SOME men commit
rape)??? I caught it the first time I read it.
|
816.200 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Thu Aug 20 1992 14:03 | 1 |
816.201 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 14:03 | 12 |
| RE: .193 Herb
> -< re simpson won >-
> and the conference lost
Herb, I don't regard myself as a victim of Simpson's lashings. Who
cares what he says about me, after all?
He's made a lot of unsupported claims (of so-called radical feminist
theory) with most of it based on his own paranoia.
It's been worthwhile to me to point this out to him.
|
816.202 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 14:12 | 8 |
| RE: .188 Simpson
> Sure, Mike. I forgot the last bit of the quote so I just kept right on
> going. Didn't it say something about irritating pigs?
Be nice to Mike, now. Insults aren't necessary. Try a different
tactic.
|
816.203 | wow | PENUTS::DDESMAISONS | | Thu Aug 20 1992 14:55 | 11 |
|
.174> Well, I guess I missed where "feminists" defined violence as an abuse
.174> of male power. Please provide a quote and/or pointer. Thanks.
Suzanne, you're right - this is a total fabrication. I don't know
how you can stand this. Amazing.
Herb, ignore me if you will, but at least we'll always have Paris. 8^)
Di
|
816.205 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 15:01 | 11 |
| RE: .195 Herb
> Furthermore, I haven't seen any statements that I reacted to as
> "politically motivated radical feminists' statements". I am excluding
> Suzanne Conlon from this because I don't consider her contributions on
> this -or almost anything else- to be useful because pure argumentation
> is such an intrisic part of her noting persona.
Your hysterical reactions to mere discussion are rather useless, as far
as I'm concerned.
|
816.206 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 15:06 | 11 |
| RE: .203
.173> As usual the feminists jumped in early on and tried
.173> to define it as a crime of violence, where violence is an abuse
.173> of male power,...
> Suzanne, you're right - this is a total fabrication. I don't know
> how you can stand this. Amazing.
Go easy on him. His assumptions got the better of him, that's all.
It's ok.
|
816.207 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 15:56 | 17 |
| <Your hysterical reactions to mere discussion are rather useless, as far
<as I'm concerned.
I am proud of my anger. I know and regret that I sometimes ventilate it
in unproductive ways. I believe I am getting better. I regret its
counter-productive manifestations.
Do you know how painful it is to watch your ranting and ravings?
Sometimes its
Zarlenga and you sometimes its
Haddock and you sometimes its
Simpson and you sometimes ...
Linville and you sometimes ....
.
.
Do you understand that it turns off an awful lot of people?
Do you understand that it is very unpleasant?
|
816.208 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 16:24 | 32 |
| RE: .207 Herb
> I am proud of my anger. I know and regret that I sometimes ventilate it
> in unproductive ways. I believe I am getting better. I regret its
> counter-productive manifestations.
It's appropriate for you to characterize yourself in whatever manner
you see fit.
You're not qualified to perform such analyses on others, though,
including me.
> Do you know how painful it is to watch your ranting and ravings?
Your constant pain is evident in almost everything you write, including
your snipes at me. I'm sorry for your pain, but I don't regard myself
as responsible for it.
> Do you understand that it turns off an awful lot of people?
If I were deathly afraid of others' opinions about me, I'd never have
started participating in notes in the first place. (I'm not.)
> Do you understand that it is very unpleasant?
I stand up for my ideas. Big deal.
Now, kindly stop derailing the discussion with these useless personal
assessments of others. You are not invited, nor are you welcome, to
delve into further speculations about me.
Let's get back to the discussion at hand.
|
816.209 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 16:42 | 8 |
| <You're not qualified to perform such analyses on others, though,
<including me.
Qualified or not, I hope you are aware that I am right.
Now, do you CARE whether I am right?
I hope that too, but I doubt it.
|
816.210 | Your opinions are not facts. | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 16:54 | 20 |
| RE: .209 Herb
>> You're not qualified to perform such analyses on others, though,
>> including me.
> Qualified or not, I hope you are aware that I am right.
Your analyses are mere opinions, not facts. Opinions are subjective
(not "right" or "wrong.")
> Now, do you CARE whether I am right?
> I hope that too, but I doubt it.
Your opinions are not a great concern to me (except as a distraction
from the subject at hand.)
I've asked you to stop discussing your assessment of me. I'm asking
again.
Let's get back to the topic at hand.
|
816.211 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Thu Aug 20 1992 17:00 | 8 |
| <Let's get back to the discussion at hand.
In my opinion, there was no discussion at hand.
In my opinion, there was simply two stubborn -indeed muleheaded- kids
lobbing prickly barbs back and forth.
Each having long since lost any purpose other than to insult and
'prove' wrong the other.
I was going to invite you to have the last word, but that isn't
necessary is it?
|
816.212 | I prefer Brownmiller's equation of rape with power struggle | ESGWST::RDAVIS | Blue devils for a brown study | Thu Aug 20 1992 17:44 | 5 |
| Congratulations, Mike. You agree with Andrea Dworkin.
Rape is just sex. Therefore, sex must include the concept of rape.
Ray
|
816.213 | | ESGWST::RDAVIS | Blue devils for a brown study | Thu Aug 20 1992 17:56 | 17 |
| My own take on this is uncomfortable.
It's obviously true (sorry, Mike) that rape is, by common usage of the
word "violent", a violent act. It's clear that it's also (as Jody
pointed out to general disregard) an act involving assertion of power.
Unfortunately, it's clear to me that it's also (as rapists usually
claim and as rape victims' traumas so ofter have to deal with) an act
involving sex.
Which dredges up all kinds of unpleasant questions about the extent to
which "violence" AND "assertion of power" AND "sex" overlap. Which
is where writers like Brownmiller and Dworkin come in, trying to figure
out answers to those unpleasant questions.
I don't have any, myself. But I sure don't see you guys trying.
Ray
|
816.214 | | GORE::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 19:08 | 10 |
| RE: .211 Herb
> ...stubborn -indeed muleheaded- kids lobbing prickly barbs back and
> forth.
You used the word "muleheaded" to insult another noter long before
I joined the discussion. I guess you were just determined to whine
and carry on this way, no matter who got involved.
Oh well.
|
816.215 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Thu Aug 20 1992 19:42 | 13 |
| re:.212
Agree with her? Heck, Ray, I could be her ghost writer.
Watch : "yakyakyak heterosexual sex is rape yakyakyak men are scum
yakyakyak men are rapists yakyakyak men are violent rapists yakyakyak
become woman-centered and forget about men yakyakyak fish don't need
bicycles yakyakyak."
See? Now just use a random word generator to throw filler in where
there are yakyakyaks, and you've got a best seller. Maybe even title
it "Smart Women, Slimy Men," or maybe "Every Man is a Rapist." Yeah,
that last one's kinda catchy ...
|
816.216 | let's play "find the focal point" | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | rotate your tires, Cindy? | Thu Aug 20 1992 19:43 | 7 |
| .207> Sometimes its
.207> Zarlenga and you sometimes its
.207> Haddock and you sometimes its
.207> Simpson and you sometimes ...
.207> Linville and you sometimes ....
Let's see, now ... what could be the common denominator? Hmmm ...
|
816.217 | Just another wannabe | ESGWST::RDAVIS | Blue devils for a brown study | Thu Aug 20 1992 20:00 | 5 |
| Mike, you may agree with her but you got a ways to go before you can
manage a good parody. (Not that I think you should; I prefer the
non-academic style, myself.)
Ray
|
816.218 | | LAVETA::CONLON | | Thu Aug 20 1992 21:15 | 16 |
| RE: .216 Mike Z.
.207> Sometimes its
.207> Zarlenga and you sometimes its
.207> Haddock and you sometimes its
.207> Simpson and you sometimes ...
.207> Linville and you sometimes ....
> Let's see, now ... what could be the common denominator? Hmmm ...
Hey, it's no secret that I hold a minority opinion in this forum.
I don't expect special treatment for it, though. I just participate
as long as I feel like participating (without knocking the entire
conference for having a different prevalent opinion than mine.)
No big deal.
|
816.219 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Quayle in '94! | Thu Aug 20 1992 22:49 | 5 |
| re:.217
You were impressed, eh?
If you think that's good, you oughtta see my Dice Man imitation. ;')
|
816.220 | | DSSDEV::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Fri Aug 21 1992 00:15 | 3 |
| > If you think that's good, you oughtta see my Dice Man imitation. ;')
And here we thought that's what you were doing all along.
|
816.221 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Quayle in '94! | Fri Aug 21 1992 00:42 | 9 |
| Oooh, gettin' a little catty in here, eh Victor?
And from a moderator, no less!
But hey, no prob, Vick, ol'buddy ... I'll do Dice at the next party,
just ask me. Not sure if it's your cup of tea, but you'll never know
until you try it, right?
Think the nursery rhymes might be a bit too VIOLENT for ya. ;')
|
816.222 | | IAMOK::KELLY | | Fri Aug 21 1992 10:36 | 27 |
| WOW! .221 replies and I think I have finally figured out what
Mr. Simpson's original point of dispute was that led to this
heated debate.
Mr. Simpson-
it the objection you hold to the statement "rape is an act of
violence"? I'm reading this as your stating that rape is a
sexual act performed without consent that may have elements of
violence, but it's the lack of consent that defines the crime,
not the use of violence.
If this is what you are saying, I agree with you, FWIW.
Suzanne and Herb-
I'm sorry you are so uncomfortable Herb, and I sometimes agree that
the discourse between the parties you listed does seem to be stubborn,
but unfortunately, when two people are discussing a subject from
opposite extremes, it's hard to agree to disagree when your beleifs
are so strong that you just cannot accept and let go of the other's
disagreement. I wouldn't expect to see it stop anytime soon, nor do
I think we should advocate it. When you get past the "insults",
generally both parties do make good points, to be taken or left based
on your own understandings.
Christine
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816.223 | | UTROP1::SIMPSON_D | $SH QUO: You have 0 miracles left | Fri Aug 21 1992 11:47 | 17 |
| re .222
Christine, I think you may indeed understand my point. It is the lack
of consent to sexual act(s) which defines rape, and the violence is
incidental in the sense that it is a means and not the end. (Radical
feminist theories have it that violence, as part of some grand
conspiracy to oppress women, is the end and the sexual act(s) the
means).
In the same sense, it is the intentional killing of another person
which defines murder, even while murder is often or even usually
violent.
In the same way that most people are horrified at the intentional
killing of another, even when the murder is not (particularly) violent,
so most people are horrified by sexual act(s) being forced on another,
even when the rape is not (particularly) violent.
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816.224 | it isn't either or | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 12:01 | 10 |
| <Christine, I think you may indeed understand my point. It is the lack
<of consent to sexual act(s) which defines rape, and the violence is
<incidental in the sense that it is a means and not the end. (Radical
<feminist theories have it that violence, as part of some grand
<conspiracy to oppress women, is the end and the sexual act(s) the
<means).
I trust you would agree that rapes involve all ratios of sex/violence
from 0 to infinity, including cases where each is purely the means and
the other is purely the end?
|
816.225 | Ah. Now I understand where you're missing it. | SMURF::BINDER | Ut aperies opera | Fri Aug 21 1992 12:24 | 19 |
| Re: .223
I think that whether deliberately or for lack of English language
skills, Messrs Simpson, Valenza, et al., you're missing the point. I'm
not sure Ms Conlon agrees precisely with my take on this, but let me
see if I can put it more clearly. In .223, Mr Simpson states:
> of consent to sexual act(s) which defines rape, and the violence is
> incidental in the sense that it is a means and not the end.
This remark expose the fundamental problem in communication. Violence
is not, in my argument, the means of perpetrating a sexual act on an
unwilling person. In some - BUT NOT ALL - instances of rape, physical
violence may be employed, but I contend that the real violence is the
RESULT of the rape. The victim cannot escape the emotional destruction
wrought by being raped, and experience teaches us that most victims
can't even repair it.
-dick
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816.226 | re .222 | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 12:31 | 30 |
| <I'm sorry you are so uncomfortable Herb
I am not uncomfortable, I am bloody sick and tired of childish ping
pong matches. I don't believe we should stand around and let them
continue. If I felt that I were the only one who feels this way, I
would not have entered my comments. I wish more people would express
their ire. (or comment on my reactions to 816 either publicly or
through mail)
I cannot think of a better way to describe my reaction to _your_
comment quoted above other than to characterize it as 'make-nice'.
Your 'commiseration' is ill received.
To forestall the suggestion to 'next-unseen'...
That action would assume that the manner in which this 'discussion' has
been 'waged' has not had a deleterious impact on this entire
conference. I think it has.
I think the most recent entries are hopeful.
I also think there was one hellavafine suggestion implied in the entry
816.213 ...
<...
<Which dredges up all kinds of unpleasant questions about the extent to
<which "violence" AND "assertion of power" AND "sex" overlap. Which
<is where writers like Brownmiller and Dworkin come in, trying to figure
<out answers to those unpleasant questions.
<I don't have any, myself. But I sure don't see you guys trying.
|
816.228 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 13:01 | 17 |
| <... Violence is not, in my argument, the means of perpetrating a
<sexual act on an unwilling person.
I think you are misspeaking here as the following statement suggests
<In some - BUT NOT ALL - instances of rape, physical violence may be
<employed
Which I think does make violence the means but not the instrument (as
i'm sure yule agree)
If one is allowed to think of violence as causing emotional
devastation (or psychological trauma) then I definitely agree with ...
<the real violence is the RESULT of the rape. The victim cannot escape
<the emotional destruction wrought by being raped, and experience
p.s.
"teaches us that most victims can't even repair it"
Did you mean can't "ever" repair it?
pps was the reference to Valenza intended to be Zarlenga?
|
816.229 | | GORE::CONLON | | Fri Aug 21 1992 13:05 | 45 |
| RE: .223 Simpson
> It is the lack of consent to sexual act(s) which defines rape, and
> the violence is incidental in the sense that it is a means and not
> the end.
I disagree. If it were true that rape is a matter of, "Gee, I'd really
like to have sex, but since I can't find anyone who's willing to have
sex with me, I guess I'll just rape someone to get it from an unwilling
party" - I would agree with you.
Rapists often have wives and/or girlfriends (willing sexual partners)
and go ELSEWHERE to find women to rape. Sometimes the rape victims
are women in their 90's (or pre-school children nabbed off the street.)
Also, many porn movies feature rape scenes (where the attraction is NOT
just the sex - or else the sex would be shown in a "willing partner"
scenerio.) In porn films, rape has an attraction ALL ITS OWN (which
goes well beyond sex between two consenting partners.) It has violence
and/or control elements that are "ends" in themselves (not just the means
to have sex.)
> (Radical feminist theories have it that violence, as part of some grand
> conspiracy to oppress women, is the end and the sexual act(s) the
> means).
Well, I guess we could trade "conspiracy theories" here, because your
notes about so-called "radical feminists" sound like you believe they
are engaged in a conspiracy to degrade men.
> In the same sense, it is the intentional killing of another person
> which defines murder, even while murder is often or even usually
> violent.
Aside from the nit that we have laws ungainst the UN-intentional
homicide of another person as well (such as driving recklessly in
a way that causes the deaths of others, even though these deaths
were not the intent of the person being prosecuted for the crime)...
Why do people engage in the intentional killing of another person?
Do you really think it has nothing whatever to do with the idea of
committing violence and/or having power over that individual?
Murder (even more than rape) sounds to me like a crime of power -
a murderer has the power to end a person's entire life on this
planet (permanently.) The violence in murder is not incidental, IMO.
|
816.230 | | IAMOK::KELLY | | Fri Aug 21 1992 13:39 | 9 |
| Herb,
oops-mixed you up with Ray-I thought you used uncomfortable.
Ok, you are angry. That's fine. I wasn't trying to make
nice, either, it really isn't my style. In a warped way,
I guess I was trying to empathize with you without agreeing-
to bad it was ill-received. So goes life. I actually find
the evolution of this note amusing (not the subject matter,
but the escalation)-to each his own reaction.
|
816.231 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 13:52 | 2 |
| The evolution of notes like this -with some of the same participants-
stopped being amusing to me about three years ago.
|
816.232 | Atypically solemn reply | ESGWST::RDAVIS | Screechy and Twitchy | Fri Aug 21 1992 14:29 | 31 |
| I find such escalation more amusing in less painful topics.
Although I admit that one man's painful topic is another man's "who
cares?" (viz. the innumerable alimony notes).
Inasmuch as I have a quarrel with Brownmiller (incidentally, the
constant recycling of that quote is getting a little stale; perhaps you
should try recycling some of the argument leading up to it), it's in
the "conscious" nature of the oppression. Here's why:
Sex is, I think, _necessarily_ bound up with issues of control. Its
most delightful aspect, speaking subjectively, is the sense of _loss_
of control even though, speaking objectively, very much getting what I
want.
Rapists glory in their assertion of control but often coach their
self-defense in the opposite terms: "she _made_ me _lose_ control",
"she was asking for it", "if you play with fire you get burnt", and so
on. Rape is the ugliest aspect of the unconscious overlap between
sexual and control issues. No, that doesn't help me understand why
rape happens. But, judging from words alone, the overlap is there.
However, inasmuch as rape is overwhelmingly man-to-woman, and, through
history, often explicitly used as assertion of superiority or as weapon
or as punishment (even in Academy Award winning movies: see "One Flew
Over the Cuckoo's Nest"), it's playing a part in society outside its
purely sexual aspects. Brownmiller concentrates on that non-sexual
aspect. As a result, I think, if anything, she lets us (both men and
women) off too easily.
Ray
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816.233 | Read what I wrote, not what you *think* I wrote. | SMURF::BINDER | Ut aperies opera | Fri Aug 21 1992 14:41 | 20 |
| Re: .228
Yes, "Valenza" should be "Zarlenga." Thanks for pointing out my error
of haste.
But no, I was not misspeaking when I said "Violence is not, in my
argument, the means of perpetrating a sexual act on an unwilling
person." I freely acknowledged that violence, in one of its many
definitions, may be used in some cases of rape. But the violence of
which I speak, Herb, is the actual damage that is done to the victim.
I provided that specific meaning in one of my many attempts to help
create a common ground for discussion of the word "violence" itself.
Vide my citation of the OED somewhere in this string.
> Did you mean can't "ever" repair it?
No, I did not. I rarely fail to say say what I mean. I refer you to
the definition of (3)even in Webster's Ninth.
-dick
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816.234 | Oops, forgot a nuance: | ESGWST::RDAVIS | Screechy and Twitchy | Fri Aug 21 1992 14:43 | 13 |
| > often explicitly used as assertion of superiority or as weapon
> or as punishment (even in Academy Award winning movies: see "One Flew
> Over the Cuckoo's Nest"), it's playing a part in society outside its
> purely sexual aspects.
Unless, like Dworkin and Zarlenga, you take the rapists at their word,
give up the attempt to find "non-sexual aspects" to rape, and start
from the simplifying assumption that these are aspects of sex itself.
I find this approach too disturbing to credit, but that may just be
intellectual cowardice on my part.
Ray
|
816.235 | re .233 | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 14:44 | 1 |
| I was trying to be courteous and polite.
|
816.236 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 17:07 | 16 |
| in re .233
<The victim cannot escape the emotional destruction wrought by being
<...
I now see that "even" makes sense. At first reading, I missed it being
something like [not only] can the victim not ESCAPE the
emotional destruction, [but also] most can't even REPAIR it.
p.s.
<In some - BUT NOT ALL - instances of rape, physical violence may be
<employed, but I contend that the real violence is the RESULT of the
<rape.
I agree (but the physical violence isn't imaginary violence)
<read what I wrote, not what you *think* I wrote>
You wrote "Valenza". This was one of those <rare times> when you failed
to "say say" (sic) what you intended to "say say" (titter).
|
816.237 | | SMURF::BINDER | Ut aperies opera | Fri Aug 21 1992 18:06 | 11 |
| in re .235 and .236
Yup, Herb. Titter, titter, I did indeed space the name of a Mike.
Jeez, I'm just hoping Mike VALENZA doesn't read .233 and lay a Quaker
Stare on me. :-)
Sorry for snapping at you. A lot of people have been reading a lot of
unintended meanings into a lot of communications in this string, and I
jerked my knee in the wrong direction.
-dick
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816.238 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | Conferences are like apple barrels... | Fri Aug 21 1992 18:25 | 1 |
| thnx
|
816.239 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Quayle in '94! | Sun Aug 23 1992 04:49 | 5 |
| re:.237
Don't sweat it, dickie, Mike Valenza himself once started a note
about the similarities between our names and how to recognize the
differences between our notes.
|