Conference quark::mennotes-v1

.0>  What is love?

     The cutesy definition of love any engineer will understand is that it
     is the positive resonant frequency among human beings.  I like to think
     of love as being Ultimate Synergy among life forms...
    
.0>  As a woman, I'm coming to realize that I assign an enormous amount of
.0>  expectations to the word. Commitment, dependability, romance, kindness.
.0>  Not everyone who loves is committed. Not everyone who loves is
.0>  dependable. Not everyone who loves is romantic. etc.

     You forgot respect...  Can you love someone you don't respect?
    
.0>  So: can you express what love means to you? What acts and thoughts are
.0>  part of loving for you? And what expectations do you have of a person's
.0>  thoughts or actions when they love you?

     I like to think of myself as a loving person so in order to answer your
     questions I will state that "I love you".  Now, how could I possibly say
     such a thing to someone I have never met or seen?  I tend to be mostly
     Read Only in Notes except when inspired/bored enough to jump in and give
     my two cents worth.  You tend to be a frequent Noter in the human interest
     files that I read and I find that I have come to respect what you have to
     say and the way you say it!  In fact, you have helped my thoughts/feelings
     evolve in such a way as to make me a better person.  I don't think I have 
     always agreed with some of your statements but the feeling is that were I
     to challenge you I would be entering a win-win situation.  In a sense we
     share the same quest - to gain a better understanding of the human 
     condition in order to effect beneficial change either personally or 
     socially.  Just look at the last two topics you have initiated in this
     file...  
     
     So, this is how I love you.  No commitment other than reading your work,
     not really dependable as I Note infrequently and no romance, etc.

     How would I want you to return my love?  In the same way that I love you.

     It occured to me as I wrote the above that I love many "strangers" in the
     same way that I love you.  These people have given of themselves and I
     connected/was touched...
    
.0>  Do you think they will change? Do you think you will change?

     Change is inevitable and once one understands this fact one may attempt
     to have some control as to how they evolve in a positive manner.

    
    What a challenge...
    
    RON's are hard to "love" back, but I'll try... if you try to write
    more. :-)
    
    I love a lot of people besides my "lover". I have a certain love for
    people. Thanks for reminding me of this. Its valuable.
    
    'ren

       I read a wonderful definition of 'Love' -
    
    "Love is the willingness to extend yourself to nurture the spiritual
    growth of another..."
    
       This is really quite profound. I love my partner more than I have
    ever loved anyone else. I encourage her to grow and her happiness is
    more important to me than whether I'm with her. I couldn't bear to be
    with her if I felt I was holding her back.
    
       To me the most important part of love is trust. (And trust only
    comes through willingness to trust; like love only comes from being
    prepared to love) The more you trust somebody, the more vulnerable you
    are to that person - but you are willing to be vulnerable because you
    trust them not to hurt you. When trust is strong, there are no
    suspicions, and intimacy is much easier and wonderful.
       I believe respect is also very important, and comes from how much you
    value somebody. I couldn't love somebody who I didn't respect highly.
    
       What I have said above is how in define love in relation to
    dealing with people. My definition is also appropriate, for example, a
    close friend.
    
       However, just to ramble further, I also use the term 'love' when
    talking about things like foods or movies, and such like. I suppose
    that when I say 'I love bananas' I'm referring to the pleasure I get
    from them. ;-) (Eating them!) So perhaps love is also a term to
    describe a great deal of pleasure - whether it's connected with other
    people or not.
    
       Paul.
    

    Bingo RE .3 Bubba:
    
    Most men I find act the way you describe, most women react the way you
    describe. 
    
    
    Steve

>    What is love?
    
    It's different at different times in my life.  I KNOW I change
    (sometimes, as the song goes, "in the twinkling of an eye"), and at
    this point I'm old enough to know that anyone I'm involved with will
    change.
    
    I do seem to like romance more than Bubba.  What can I say, it's
    erotic...  If I didn't feel like being romantic much, I wouldn't
    describe it as romantic love.  Maybe "paternal" love or "heroically /
    masochistically self-sacrificing" love, but I would still feel like
    something was missing.
    
    Ray