Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    
    
    Well, let's see, I've proposed once, and been proposed to twice. I've
    never been married, but we got to the living-together-while-engaged
    phase.
    
    Often it was just we'd look at each other over dinner, or breakfast, or
    walking by the ocean, and just *KNOW*.  It was like a "Will you spend
    the rest of your life with me?"  "Yes!".  
    
    If I was proposing to someone in the future, I'd strive to do it on one
    of those days where anything seems possible out of the two of you being
    together.  Perhaps I'd give him a ring (done that before -rings, roses,
    blows most men away!), and simply ask that he love me always, and
    express that my life with him is so much richer, and all the places I
    and see myself going reveal him in the vision by my side.  I'd invite
    him to join me on the journey.
    
    -Jody
    

    He said, "When we're married, how many children do you want?"
    
    Not to be outdone in cool, I said, "Six."
    
    He gulped and asked, "Would you settle for three?"
    
    I said, "OK."
    
    PS  About ten years ago, with the two of the three ensconced in
        adolescence, I put my hands on his shoulders, looked deep into his
    	eyes, and said, "I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, that there
    	are only three."

    We'd been dating for about a year after having broken up once about
    two years prior. We were in the living room of her mothers apartment
    with her Mom having retired to her room to watch TV. 

    She: "I think it's time we got engaged."
    He:  "OK, how do we do that?"
    She: "You ask me to marry you."
    He:  "OK [down on one knee] Will you marry me?"
    She: "Yes"
    KISS
    She: "I'm going to tell my mother now."

    			Alfred

       I don't remember proposing to my first wife but for my second wife
       (Now second ex-wife) I steam softened a fortune cookie, took out the
       fortune and replaced it with my own asking her to marry me.  Her
       reaction wasn't what I expected. She was pregnant at the time and
       went into a long disertation about how she had options to pregnancy.
       Although I am pro-choice I can't imagine my life without my now 12
       year old son who lives with me.

       I am curious as to how the 'modern man' and 'modern woman' handle
       the 'Will you marry me?' question.

       patrick

    It was 1972, and I was 23 and he was 26.  We had been dating for about
    a year and a half.  He had recently gotten an apartment, and asked me
    to move in with him.  I asked him why he wanted to live with me but
    didn't want to marry me.  He said he wasn't sure, and changed the
    subject.  The next day, out of the blue, he said, "So, do you really
    think you'd want to marry me?"  I said, "Yes."  He said, "Okay, then,
    let's get married because I can't imagine being here without you."  It
    lasted 12 1/2 yrs.
    
    Although, I've discussed marriage with other guys, that's the only time
    anybody ever actually proposed.
    
    Lorna
    

    She had moved in with me in my small mobile home in the woods of
    Milford N.H. There was a wood stove burning its warm and cozy smells.
    There was a first snow fall of the year. We sat at the kitchen table,
    eating breakfast, getting ready to go out for a sunday morning drive
    to the relatives. And very innocent, very calmly, her voice sweetly
    asked me. I was floored, I had proposed several times. And of course I
    accepted! We hugged, cried, kissed, and then the excitement of it all
    started to build. Talking, as men do, of future plans, dreams, and
    etc. How we would have kids, how we would invest into income property,
    then move into the woods of New Hampshire, in that log cabin, with
    the single pass road that would wind up thru the tall pines to a small 
    clearing.
    
    That was 1980, that was then and now is a differnt story.
    
    On-wards and up wards!

    I won't tell you what position we were in.  ;^)  I said, "You want to 
    marry me"?  She said, "Yeah, I think I do."  No big surprise on either 
    side.  We'd been living together for a couple of months.
    
    				- Vick

    
    
    Of course the night would start with dinner and fine wine, dancing at
    a contempory music style club.  I would bribe the DJ to play 
    "Somebody Loves You" by Pattie Labelle, but use the now famous
    Kereoke (sp) machine, and I would do the singing, while looking her
    in the face.  Then in the middle of the brief instrumental, I would
    walk closer to her, with 1 red rose in my hand, and with a very low
    voice, ask her simple to marry me as there is no one else in the
    world for me.
    Then assuming she could not refuse an invitation like that, we would
    then leave the club, headed for an intimate hide away in the mountains
    where anything can happen.
    
    

 I looked at her as we were having a discussion about our relationship and
 said "lets get married".  She said "really?" I said, yes and off we went 3
 weeks later to Nevada (through a raging snowstorm with carloads of friends 
 following us) to tie the knot.



 Jim

    re .8, what an embarrassing thing to do to a person! :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    Well, I think my Father's proposal to my Mom takes the prize was
    unbelievable.  My Mom was having lunch with a girlfriend at a little
    diner, my Father walked by the window and saw them sitting there.  He
    walked in, sat down next to my Mom, waited for a break in the
    conversation, pulled out a ruby engagement ring, and said "So, when are
    we getting married?"
    
    My Mom said she just started laughing.  They had only been dating six
    weeks, and hadn't really discussed marriage at all.  Four weeks later
    they were married at "The Hitching Post" in Coure'd Alene, Idaho, and
    now, more than 32 years and five kids  later they are still very
    happily married.  Glad to say that each saw a good thing and knew it!!
    Unfortunately my older sister flushed the my Mom's engagement ring down
    the toilet when she was three, but at least she has the memories.  :-)
    
    Don't know if I want my proposal to be unbelievable in the same way or
    not.  The results wouldn't be too bad though!!
                                              
    Shilah
                   

    We had been seeing each other for just over a year.  As I had done for
    the previous 8 years, I was preparing to go to Jamaica for a couple of
    weeks in March.  I asked her to go with me and I had planned to ask her
    to marry me under the moon light on the beach after having a wonderful
    dinner.  That was the dream.  It didn't work out that way.
    
    The trip was a horrible disaster!  The thatched roof of our cliff side 
    cottage was infested with little biting bugs.  We were visited by a rat
    in the night.  As she had never been out of the country, I was way over
    protective and just about sufficated her.  She hated it, she hated me
    and about 1/2 way through she was begging to go home.  We stuck it out
    for the entire time and by the time we got home, I thought it was
    O.V.E.R.
    
    We didn't talk for a couple of days after returning.  Finally, I called
    her and asked her to meet me during lunch.  We never ate lunch, just
    sat in my car at Veteran's Park near MKO and talked.  She was really
    mad and I got very upset.  Teary eyed, I told her of my intentions for
    Jamaica and how sorry I was that things went from bad to worse.  She,
    also teary eyed, said she thought I was sick of her.  Once we got that
    straight, she said "If you love me and meant what you said then marry
    me!"  I pleaded that I did indeed mean everything I said and asked her
    to marry me.  Since is was her idea to push the issue, of course she 
    accepted. 
    
    About a week later, I took her to the River Club and 'formally' asked
    her again and presented her with diamond ring.  Then next day I visited
    her 75yr old father and 'asked' his permission, which he granted.  I
    then took her son out for an ice cream and 'asked' him if it was okay. 
    He said it was okay with him.
    
    That was two years ago and inspite of some difficult times sprinkled in
    with a lot of joy, we are very happy.
    
    Marv
    

    A friend of mine who had been seeing his girlfriend for nearly seven
    years decided to pop the question earlier this year.
    
    He had planned to help her with her taxes.  It had become a tradition -
    he would prepare her taxes while she prepared him dinner.  They started
    the form together.  When she checked off the "single" box at the top
    of the form, she sighed and said, "How many more years will I be 
    checking this off!?"  Of course, she had no idea this was her last
    time filing singly.
    
    My friend finished filling in all of the figures while his girlfriend
    continued cooking.  He then told her he was finished and asked her to
    take a final look at the figures and sign the form.
    
    Imagine her surprise when she got to the signature section and found
    the words "Will you marry me" written in pencil.
    
    She said "yes."
    
    Awwwwwwwww...
    
    Mike
    
    
    
                                                                                    
    this

    My cousin Gordon and his SO went to a Padres game.  At one point during
    the game he pointed out a plane overhead dragging a message that said,
    "Susan, will you marry me?"
    
    ed

    	I met my wife on Xmas Eve. By mid-May we had become inseparable.
    I had just purchased a ring and went over to pick her up. Her house was
    mobbed....her grandmother had just died. Two days later, after the
    funeral, we were sitting in my car and I said..."I was going to ask you
    to marry me the other day, but . . " and she said, "No, buts....Yes!"
    She went right into the house and told her mother and father......Her
    mother was thrilled......her father wanted to know why she'd marry the
    most bullhead, billigerent, SOB he'd ever met. 
    
    
    	It's been 18 years..........
    
    Ken

    
    Re.10
    Well I am glad I am not proposing to you!
    
    

    re .16, me, too!  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    How did he propose.  I can't remember...  I think I sort of proposed to
    him first.  We met in September and were inseperable from the
    beginning.  He was an international grad student just finished with his
    MBA.  He wanted to work in the US and had a few job opportunities but
    nothing to jump for joy about.  His work permit expired in December,
    his visa in April.  Within two months, we started talking marriage.  He
    said, I don't want people to think I married you for the green card ...
    I said, who cares, we love each other.  I got sick and with the layoffs
    at DEC impending, and my job "going away", we decided to elope so he
    could help bring home the bacon.  It was pretty cold blooded.  One day
    in his room he was in despair and said "gosh, what are we going to do"
    and I said, let's not wait, let's get married next week before your
    work permit expires.
    
    We went home for Thanksgiving, told the family, who wholeheartedly
    approved, and eloped on December 5.  It was the most
    unromantic proposal, but the wedding and the marriage are the most
    romantic, wonderful things that could ever have happened to me.  Right
    after our wedding I became very ill and had major surgery.  Getting
    married was definitely the right thing to do, he helped me through so
    much!  The wedding was hilarious, as we were sitting there waiting for
    our turn (me in white, he in a suit, all the other couples getting
    married in jeans and sweats!) people kept dropping money on the floor
    and I kept picking it up.  Andreas wasy elated "this is a sign, we're
    gonna be rich" (sure, with my health problems!).  The clerk who married
    us got so carried away at the prospect of marrying a couple actually in
    love and dressed up, he started snapping away with our camera, posing
    us in these real corny poses.  Soon, the entire courthouse was hanging
    outside the room wishing us the best.  It was funny because we married
    in a courthouse in a terrible, drug infested county of MD.  The
    courthouse is constantly in the news with drug and murder busts and
    it's always on TV.  Everytime they show the courthouse Andreas gets all
    excited "look, it's where we got married".  I guess you had to be there
    but before the wedding we went through metal detectors and body
    searches and everything ...
    
    Tammi (who would not trade the memories for a huge wedding with all the
    trimmings!)
    

    I drove home from work on an icy January evening, slipping and sliding
    on the country road.  I saw it coming, slow motion -
    I was struck by a sliding car!
    
    I wasn't hurt but my car was pretty bashed up.  Schlepped myself home
    with one headlight working.  Walked into the kitchen.  He said, "Where
    were you? I was so worried!"  I moaned about my wrecked car.  I ran
    upstairs to put on comfy sweats.  I was pretty shaky.
    
    Back in the kitchen, over supper, he handed me the ring and said, "This
    is for you."  
    
    I invited him outside.  It was  cold with the moon shining.  I said,
    "NOW ask me to marry you, the right way."  He did.  I said, "I promise
    by the moon and the stars that I will marry you."  Then I felt much
    better.
    
    He just had his mind set to ask me that night, and it didn't matter
    WHAT was going on.  A very determined man, not romantic, but with a
    good heart.   I do love him, four years and one baby later.
    
    
    I thought the neatest proposal was a coworker when I lived in New York. 
    Her boyfriend invited her to an outdoor cafe to lunch.  Along came a
    street performer, dressed as a clown, who did his routine, then popped
    the question for her boyfriend.
    
    L

    6 weeks after our first date I said to her one night "Can you imagine
    us spending the rest of our lives together?" This from a 33 year old
    who had never even lived with a woman (other than a roommate) let alone
    thought there was one he could stand being around all day (that went
    for men, too)
    
    The next day I went on a previously planned weekend with a couple of
    friends, to whom I confided all this in a near week-end long swoon. I
    came back on Sunday to find that she had told several friends I had
    asked her to marry me.  
    
    I most certainly had not -- I had asked a far more fundamental
    committment. To this day (11 +) years I kid her about how she "tricked"
    me into getting married.
    
    Kit

    
    "HONEY, would you, aaaha .., like, ...., i mean, ...would you like to,..
    hummm..., i want to say is, .... , i like to ask, i ... i mean, .. a
    like... if we... i mean... well,.... you know!... so? what do you say?"
    
    /nasser

    We took off on Friday evening to go the Jersey shore.  Around midnight
    we were walking along a secluded beach on Long Beach Island, with the
    full moon glimmering off the waves.  I reached down to pick up
    something that had been sparkling in the sand from the moonlight (ring previously
    transferred to my hand), offered her my "find" and choked out "will you
    spend the rest of your life with me ?"
    
    She was completely bowled over.  I had convinced her we were there for
    the weekend to see a boat I had bought with the last dollar I could get
    my hands on. 
    
    10.5 years and one child later all is well.
    
    TC