T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
---|
802.1 | Mother Dearest | COMET::DYBEN | | Sun Jun 28 1992 00:49 | 12 |
|
Question number 1.
In the past and to a great extent today the woman has the job of
raising the children in the home( I think ). With this much early
influence on the childs Psche and morals and blah blah, how come young
boys grom up disrespecting wymyn? Or whatever the correct analysis is
of innapropriate behavior to wymyn!
David
|
802.2 | honest answer | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | ruthless compassion | Sun Jun 28 1992 10:43 | 8 |
|
Because the media seems to teach them to be that way.
And the media seems to be primarily controlled and designed by men.
next?
-Jody
|
802.3 | Don't ask me, but... | SMILEY::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Mon Jun 29 1992 00:14 | 6 |
| RE: David's use of "wymyn"
David,
Sounds like with a little introspection you should be able to answer
that question for yourself.
- Vick
|
802.4 | Give me a break, MAN ! | LISVAX::QUADROS | don't worry, be happy | Mon Jun 29 1992 08:41 | 19 |
| .0 & .1
I'm not arguing the answer, according to your whishes, but deffinitely
I'm arguing the QUESTION.
1. What is a FEMINIST ?
2. Are you a feminist ? How come you know there are feminists who will
answer "..." questions ?
3. Why do you call it 'a serious topic' ?
4. Last but not least : "... TAKE IT LIKE A MAN " ???????????
About your question : why is your question so special ? (.3 is OK for
me).
I think a little bit of Freud would be the answer (ah, ah, ah !)
Rgds.
J.Quadros
|
802.5 | | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | ruthless compassion | Mon Jun 29 1992 09:25 | 32 |
| re: .4
> 1. What is a FEMINIST ?
A feminist is anyone who thinks they're a feminist. Just like a wine
connoisseur is anyone who thinks they're a wine connoisseur.
> 2. Are you a feminist ? How come you know there are feminists who will
> answer "..." questions ?
I am. I did.
> 3. Why do you call it 'a serious topic' ?
Because he wanted to call it that. Whether it winds up that way
depends on how the responses turn out.
> 4. Last but not least : "... TAKE IT LIKE A MAN " ???????????
I'm baffled there.
> About your question : why is your question so special ? (.3 is OK for
> me).
It is special because he asked it.
It would be even *more* special if he really heard the answer and found
it to be thought-provoking (not believed it hook, line, and sinker, but
really thought about it as if it *were* true).
-Jody
|
802.6 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:05 | 16 |
|
> be able to answer that question yourself
Why Vick I had no idea you believed that every man has a little
bit of woman inside of him, and to further recommend the method of
getting in touch with that part, you are amazing! Now with that
stated please re-read the basenote and keep your entries into this
topic within the boundaries of the basenote,otherwise I will have to
order you to take a time-out in the penalty box:-)
Bad boy :-)
David
|
802.7 | Heres your break , MAN! | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:09 | 14 |
|
> give me a break man
Dear Quadros,
Sorry I am not here to be asked questions, but to ask them, and listen
to the answers.
David
|
802.8 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:26 | 18 |
|
> take it like a man
> i'm baffled
It was a joke! My feeble attempt at humor. Sorta goes along with
the idea of " Take the pain" "No matter how much you want to flame
back, of argue back" Take it like a man".
> it's a serious topic
It is to me. I want to here well thought out answers to some serious
questions I have. I think the gap between people can diminish if you
listen with an open mind tohow others think and feel.
David
|
802.9 | | SMILEY::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:26 | 14 |
| What I'm saying, David, which I think you know, but I'll spell it out
anyway, is that your own disrespect for women, which seems apparent in
your your snide spelling of the word "women", makes you a good
candidate for someone presumably raised by women who disrespects them
and maybe you can shed some light on the question. I myself do not
disrespect women and don't have much clue as to the answer to your
question, and don't really understand why it is a question that
feminists should be expected to have an answer for. But a little bird
is telling me that the reason you asked the question is that you
believe that, indeed, women deserve disrespect and that is why men, who
are raised by them disrespect them anyway and that feminists are
therefore full of it. Why don't you just say it instead of playing
your silly games.
- Vick
|
802.10 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:38 | 23 |
|
_Vick
As I read your latest failed attempt at analyzing me I am reminded
of what Chevy Chase used to say to Jane Curtain when beginning his
editorial, with a little modification I think I could make it fit
your remarks to a tee.:-) Please refrain from ASS-U-M-ING that you
know me better than me. My spelling of the word woman (wymyn) did not
seem to offend anyone else, and unless you have taken a position as
advocate for wymyn afraid to do there own bidding, please drop it.I
picked up the habit in another notesfile, I mean no disrespect to wymyn
by it! As far as my disrespecting wymyn, I am sure I have room for
growth, but I HAVE NO HIDDEN MOTIVE HERE. So please, if you are this
paranoid about my topic,just treat it like a T.V. and turn it off. I
really do not want to here " Vick on The hidden motives of David". I
want to here answers to my questions, and I have not asked you a
darn thing!
Quiet Please,
David
|
802.11 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:52 | 10 |
| David
I found your spelling of women offensive, I just didn't think it was
worth mentioning. As to why boy children end up as men who disrespect
women, I think that peer pressure and the attitudes of their a
fathers play a major role.
IMNSHO
Bonnie
|
802.12 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:56 | 8 |
|
Bonnie,
I will change the way I spell it. Thank you for coming forward.
David
|
802.13 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 10:59 | 2 |
| merci
|
802.14 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:00 | 13 |
|
Question number 2.
I have noticed that many men respond defensively to criticisms from
woman. Have you ever met men that receive your criticisms without
being defensive? And what is it about there personality(in your
opinion) that allows for them to here a criticism and not react
defensively?
David
|
802.15 | | SMILEY::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:01 | 12 |
| But I'm a feminist, David, and you wanted feminists to respond. But
as a feminist, I read your question as pointed, loaded. You could
learn by my response to your question. But I suppose that is not what
you really had in mind, learning that is. I frankly don't care if you
want to hear me talk about your motives or not. And I've been reading
your replies in this notesfile long enough to have developed an
impression of you. If I'm wrong, so be it. It is the impression you
create in at least one feminist, and probably in others.
- Vick
|
802.16 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:01 | 13 |
| I'm reminded of a joke...
How do you keep a woman from nagging and going on and on and on about
something...
listen to her the first time...
seems to me that answers question #2
Bonnie
|
802.17 | | SMILEY::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:06 | 3 |
| is .14 directed toward feminists or toward women? Many women aren't
feminists and many men are.
- Vick
|
802.18 | Why are you feminist ? | LISVAX::QUADROS | don't worry, be happy | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:10 | 8 |
|
I've been reading the answers to this topic and I'm more and more
curious.
If I may ask, why do you say you are feminist, ie., what do you think
is your profile that make you feel you belong to that group ?
Quadros
|
802.19 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:13 | 3 |
| Quadros, was that directed at Vick or me?
Bonnie
|
802.20 | | SMILEY::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:15 | 4 |
| Because I care enough about women's rights to vote for those rights.
Because I do my best to understand their problems and at least not
contribute to them.
- Vick
|
802.21 | | MYOSPY::KELLY | | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:15 | 28 |
| minor nit-
Vick-
you comment that David could learn from your answer. What exactly
is he supposed to learn other than the fact that you have already
decided what his motives are and that as far as you are concerned,
they are suspect? He may learn how you perceieve him, but if it
doesn't apply to him, he can leave it.
The spelling of the word wymin (or the various other ways)-in other
files it does seem to be well accepted/expected to use a deviant
form of the spelling (also, see the word "hir"). Who's allowed to
use such forms without offending? Frankly, I find it more annoying
than offensive, but that's just me. I just don't understand why it]s
ok for some, but offensive for others.
The first question, I agree with Jody. The second question, I think
that society "trains" men to believe they are "right" and a
disagreement amongst peers (other men) is ok, encouraged as long as
it's competative. Men aren[t raised to compete with women and in
my experience thiis adds to the impression of discomfort/defenisiveness
when a man is questioned/challenged by a woman.
RE: above paragraph-general disclaimer, I mean some men, not all, only
based on personal observances.
Christine
|
802.22 | Go ahead | LISVAX::QUADROS | don't worry, be happy | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:18 | 4 |
| At everyone who feels belonging to the feminist group.
Bonnie, go ahead!
Quadros
|
802.23 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:21 | 8 |
| Quadros
Because I feel that "the advocacy of the political and social and
economic equality of men and women" is only fair and reasonable.
Bonnie
(definition from the American Heritage Dictionary)
|
802.24 | | SMILEY::BENNISON | Vick Bennison 381-2156 ZKO2-2/O23 | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:24 | 12 |
| As far as I have been able to ascertain, the spelling "wymyn" or
whatnot is used only as ridicule. As far as I've been able to
ascertain, the use of "hir" is not meant as ridicule. That is the
difference. It is very similar to accents. If a foreigner speaks with
their own accent, it is not done as ridicule. But if I were to speak
with a foreign accent, it might be (or be construed to be) ridicule.
I don't use "hir" or any of the other variant spellings, though I do
try to be gender sensitive in my writing.
- Vick
|
802.25 | | VALKYR::RUST | | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:27 | 41 |
| > Question number 1.
>
> In the past and to a great extent today the woman has the job of
> raising the children in the home( I think ). With this much early
> influence on the childs Psche and morals and blah blah, how come young
> boys grom up disrespecting wymyn? Or whatever the correct analysis is
> of innapropriate behavior to wymyn!
One possible explanation: the women who raised the children knew,
sometimes from painful experience and sometimes because "that's the way
it has always been," that the men held the power. If they wanted their
sons to be successful, they had to teach them to take and hold power;
if they wanted their daughters to be successful, they had to teach them
to please, or at least to avoid angering, men. Boys who grew up seeing
their sisters taught to be meek and servile could hardly avoid learning
that women were commodities - sometimes very valuable ones, to be sure,
but still _things_ to be fought over, stolen, or bought rather than
people to be dealt with as equals.
Not the only reason, but _a_ reason, certainly. Few people are brave
enough to teach their children to buck the tide when they know it might
well cause those children to be ostracized - especially in times and
places where ostracism meant death...
> Question number 2.
>
> I have noticed that many men respond defensively to criticisms from
> woman. Have you ever met men that receive your criticisms without
> being defensive? And what is it about there personality(in your
> opinion) that allows for them to here a criticism and not react
> defensively?
Yes, I've met many men who've responded to criticisms without
defensiveness - generally in regard to practical matters, as it
happens. Suggesting a different algorithm for coding a subroutine, for
example. And a few - a rare few - have been able to accept personal
criticism without getting defensive. (I admire these people very much,
since I have to fight a tendency to get very testy indeed when _I'm_
being criticized.)
-b
|
802.26 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:28 | 9 |
|
Bonnie,
So are you saying that the difference between Male#1(defenseive) and
male#2, is that male # 2 listens whilst male number #1 does not listen?
David
|
802.27 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:32 | 10 |
|
_b Rust,
Enjoyed your answer to number 1.Regarding your answer number 2 I
would still like to know what it is about these men that allows them
to be this way?
David
|
802.28 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:32 | 9 |
| David
Quite often, the difference is that men who don't get defensive really
listen to what's being said, they listen with their hearts and are
more sensitive to people.
yes.
Bonnie
|
802.29 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 11:33 | 7 |
| in re. 27
David,
neither Beth or I are men, perhaps you can answer the question better.
Bonnie
|
802.30 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 12:08 | 8 |
|
-1
I don't think you have to be a man to have an opinion on character.
David
|
802.31 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 12:16 | 9 |
| I realize you don't have to be a man to have an opinion on character,
but as a woman I don't have a clue from my personal experience as to
'what it is about these men that allows them to be this way?' To me it
makes no sense, so the only answers I can come up with are from
the various sources from the media that I read or second hand from
conversations. I think that a man could answer the question with
more insight.
Bonnie
|
802.32 | We are human beings | LISVAX::QUADROS | don't worry, be happy | Mon Jun 29 1992 12:27 | 18 |
| .20 & .23
Then I'm a feminist myself.
But I think more in terms of human beings, no matter what sex, colour
religion, etc. If you want to deffend the rights of the less
favoured(sp?) people, than if you live in the states, you should be
'blackist', 'hispanist', 'feminist', and many other ...ists, because
equal rights problems are not ONLY related to sex diffferences.
If we want to do anything to help it, then let's start now. Let's see
each other as human beings. Mutual respect is incompatible with this
kind of 'differences'.
Rgds,
J.Quadros
|
802.33 | | VALKYR::RUST | | Mon Jun 29 1992 12:34 | 27 |
| Seems to me that people who take criticism well are those who don't
take it personally - they see it as a learning experience. Even if they
don't agree with the critic's assessment of them, they can learn
something about the critic, and if they _do_ agree, they can try to
do better next time.
While I've heard it suggested that typical-boy-type-activities like
team sports tend to teach boys to accept public criticism with
equanimity - after all, how personal can it be if *everybody* gets
chewed out for failing to cover first base? - I suspect it starts
earlier than that, in the ways parents foster their childrens'
self-images. (Some of it might be built in to the kid's natural
temperament, too, but it's always really tough to distinguish between
the innate and the very-early-environmentally-induced...) And I've
known plenty of sports-background guys who could take criticism from
their coach or teammates, but not from the women in their lives; so
clearly there are lots of other factors at work.
BTW, in my experience, the percentage of women who can accept criticism
without getting defensive seems about the same as that of men, and both
percentages are a good deal smaller than I wish they were. I think life
would be a lot more comfortable if more people could hear criticism,
consider it, and then accept or reject it, as they chose, without
getting depressed or losing their tempers or feeling they had to
justify themselves...
-b
|
802.34 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 12:54 | 15 |
|
Q3
It's my observation that since woman have entered the work force
and not stayed home as traditional mother role types, that the quality
in our children has gone down. Educationally since about the 60's
we have begun to lag in education, drug use up, etc.etc. My question
is this, is there a corrolation(sp) between woman leaving the homes
and entering the work place and the decline in the aforementioned
complaints about todays children? If so what or whom is to blame?
David
|
802.35 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Mon Jun 29 1992 13:07 | 5 |
| Re: .34
It's really the fault of the rise in the number of Japanese imported cars.
Steve
|
802.36 | | ASDG::GASSAWAY | Insert clever personal name here | Mon Jun 29 1992 13:13 | 18 |
|
No, it's MTV.
No, it's Nintendo.
No, it's loud tacky fashions.
No, it's liberals/conervatives/insert your favorite political party.
No, it's Young Miss magazine.
Personally, I think it's because it's become nonfashionable to excel at
academics. Because it's much COOLER to do anything but learn and like
your teachers.
I was always uncool. So were my friends.
Lisa
|
802.37 | there are many factors | EARRTH::MACKINNON | | Mon Jun 29 1992 13:27 | 25 |
|
re .34
I believe the deterioration of the school systems has absolutely
nothing to do with women entering the work force. This is clearly
and soley a result of the govt's choices of where it puts its
monies.
I do agree that with the decrease of fulltime stay at home parents
(be they mother or father) has definitely caused a decline in the
quality of life for children. This I believe is due again in large
part to the govt deciding where it is to put it's money. If the
cost of living did not dictate two full time working-outside-the-home
parents, there would be the availability of at least one of these
parents to stay at home with the kids.
This also comes into play when the families get back together at
home. Mom and Dad if they have worked an 8 hour day have to then
get done what needs to get done as well as give quality time to
the kids. Not an easy job when everyone is tired and cranky.
The media and television also plays a role. It is so much easier
for a kid to sit down and watch tv than it is to do ones homework.
Michele
|
802.38 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 13:43 | 3 |
| basic answer is 'no'
for more details the other answers in this string do a good job
|
802.39 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 14:42 | 9 |
|
> rise in the number of Japanese imported cars
Oh yeah? Whats your source for this info :-)
David
|
802.40 | | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | ruthless compassion | Mon Jun 29 1992 14:45 | 66 |
| re: .14
> I have noticed that many men respond defensively to criticisms from
>woman. Have you ever met men that receive your criticisms without
>being defensive? And what is it about there personality(in your
>opinion) that allows for them to here a criticism and not react
>defensively?
Part of their reaction to criticism is in how I express it. Do I
express it constructively? Or offensively?
Part of their reaction is inherent in who they are. Can they hear
criticism as a contribution to them -something intended to help them?
re: .18
-< Why are you feminist ? >-
I am a feminist because I believe women should have the freedom to do
or be anything they wish to (mother at home, rocket scientist, horse
trainer, secretary, teacher, programmer, etc.) without getting blocked
either overtly or covertly in any way.
re: .34
> It's my observation that since woman have entered the work force
> and not stayed home as traditional mother role types, that the quality
> in our children has gone down.
Certainly the less parental time and attention a child gets, I feel the
less well-adjusted the child will be, and the less able to cope with
the world the child will be. This is a function of PARENTAL time with
the child, not necessarily MATERNAL time. I feel that parents should
COPARENT, each spending time with the child. If both work, both spend
time with the child, as equally as possible. Parents should share
these responsibilities if they are both working.
>Educationally since about the 60's
> we have begun to lag in education, drug use up, etc.etc.
Part of that is because parents are spending less time with children.
Part of that is the removal of the family unit which included
grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc, and the removal oftentimes of the
feel of a neighborhood where people know each other, care, and help one
another. Apathy is a remarkably effective weapon against caring,
learning, and growth.
>My question
> is this, is there a corrolation(sp) between woman leaving the homes
> and entering the work place and the decline in the aforementioned
> complaints about todays children? If so what or whom is to blame?
There is a correlation between parents spending less time with their
children and how the children turn out. Declining grades are also a
function of how well-funded local schools are.
Please note, again, that PARENTS include MOTHERS and/or FATHERS (I
include the and/or for any readers in same-sex relationships).
-Jody
p.s. by the way, I feel comfortable expressing answers once. I doubt
I would defend them or explain them further. I'm invested in
expressing myself, and if you're listening you'll be invested in
hearing me.
|
802.41 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 15:42 | 8 |
|
> expressing answers once
What brought that out?
David
|
802.42 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jun 29 1992 15:47 | 1 |
| dislike of nit pickers probably
|
802.43 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Mon Jun 29 1992 15:54 | 4 |
| Men typically require a more precise and more narrowly defined context than
women. In my opinion, any woman that doesn't understand that and act on
it in her communications with men, is not making a sincere effort at
communications but is -rather- harassing.
|
802.44 | Word for word... | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Mon Jun 29 1992 15:58 | 6 |
| RE: .43 Herb
Wow - deja vu.
(See 801.25...)
|
802.45 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jun 29 1992 17:22 | 7 |
|
-1
Darn and I thought he was being original again :-)
David
|
802.46 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Mon Jun 29 1992 19:29 | 4 |
| .9> anyway, is that your own disrespect for women, which seems apparent in
.9> your your snide spelling of the word "women", makes you a good
Disrespect?
|
802.47 | ... why not masculinist? | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Mon Jun 29 1992 19:41 | 4 |
| re:.23
Why do you suppose a word that is supposed to be so neutral in
meaning starts with a purely female prefix?
|
802.48 | let's test your knowledge of the origin of the word | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Mon Jun 29 1992 19:43 | 4 |
| .24> As far as I have been able to ascertain, the spelling "wymyn" or
.24> whatnot is used only as ridicule.
So, Vick, why do you think some women call themselves womyn?
|
802.49 | | CSC32::GORTMAKER | Whatsa Gort? | Mon Jun 29 1992 20:13 | 7 |
| re.11
I find that spelling of women offensive in every context regardless
who uses it.
Good questions Dave!
-j
|
802.50 | | CSC32::GORTMAKER | Whatsa Gort? | Mon Jun 29 1992 20:27 | 9 |
| re.34
I think so the quality of family has gone down with children
coming home from school to empty homes due to both parents
working.
As far as respecting women goes I grant respect to all humens
wether they keep my respect is up to them.
-j
|
802.51 | Heard it on a comedy show | COMET::COSTA | Them tares are dang expensive! | Tue Jun 30 1992 01:28 | 4 |
|
Perhaps society should just drop the man off of woman, so as to make
them all "wos"
|
802.52 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Tue Jun 30 1992 02:48 | 4 |
| I think I saw that guy!
He did the routine "I am woman. You are man. I am better than you
because I have the extra wuh."
|
802.53 | | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Tue Jun 30 1992 11:29 | 66 |
|
re: Feminism
In the early 70's I thought a Feminist was any woman who burned
her bra.
In the mid 70's I thought a Feminist was any woman who read Betty
Friedan or Germaine Greer and did her best to enlighten people as to
the inequities.
In the early 80's I thought a Feminist was any woman who voted for
the ERA and was willing to do what she had to level the playing
field.
In the mid 80's I thought a Feminist was anyone who supported NOW
and was working politically to change the rules.
Now it's the early 90's; I don't have a clue as to how you would
define Feminist.
re: Males growing up disrespecting women.
It's such a complex issue.
I know a man that grew up in a male dominated household and reached
age 30 very balanced while his brother has a poster in his house of
all the women he has picked up and bedded.
I've known young men who were raised by their mothers that ended up
heroin addicts and various forms of maladjusted predators. Others
have done very well. It seems to me that half the NFL and NBA
interviews you see the athletes thank their mother (and often
grandmother) with no mention of a father. I should note that some
of these young men get in a lot trouble with women. Mike Tyson, the
New England Patriots fiasco, and many others.
Dan Quayle grew up in a 'Leave it to Beaver household' where his
father went off to work and his mother worked at home. I think this
type of household represent 7 or 8% of American household today. I
think his attitude toward women is not all that great but it's hard
to tell.
In my opinion, when you have a society where women are expected to
look good while men are expected to be successful you are incubating
imbalance. When people start off a marriage where the woman is
paraded around in white and then her father 'gives her away' you are
sending out strange messages. When a female comes home and tells
her parent/s that she's getting serious about some guy, the first
question that comes up is "What does he do for a living?" I doubt
that this question is raised very often when a male comes home to
his parent/s.
re: criticism
Men and women typically process input differently. This statement
is neither profound or new but it amazes me how easy it is to forget
when one is in the middle of a 'confrontation'. Criticism is also
something we typically don't solicit. There is a story about
Socrates that he had a wife that we would call a 'nag'. She was on
his case constantly. Some of Socrates' contemporaries asked him why
he tolerated it. He was surprised. He said that his wife was
invaluable in that if any of his ideas had holes in them she would
surely point them out.
patrick
|
802.54 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Tue Jun 30 1992 11:46 | 9 |
| Patrick, very small nit to an other wise thoughtful note..
While some women may have done so later, no women burned bras in the
now legendary protest of the Miss America contest, that was a media
non event..
Thankyou for your thoughtful reply, btw.
Bonnie
|
802.55 | Media & Rape Puzzles Me | ONETWO::STUDENTACCT | | Tue Jun 30 1992 13:11 | 16 |
| I have a question that has bothered me since the Kennedy-Smith and Tyson
trials. If a man is accused of rape why should his name be printed by
the media and not the woman's?
Don't you think it would be fair, since he is "innocent until proven
guilty", that both names should be protected until the verdict. Or,
both names should be printed. I have heard the argument that if the
alleged victim's name is printed, this may discourage other victims
from coming forward. I actually agree with that argument. However, I
wouldn't want to be in the shoes of the man who is falsely accused.
Or a man, like William Kennedy-Smith, who is not found guilty but has
to live with a reputation of being a rapist.
So tell me, what should the policy be?
Puzzled Man
|
802.56 | | SMURF::SMURF::BINDER | Rem ratam agite | Tue Jun 30 1992 13:19 | 13 |
| Re: .55
The suspect's name is public information by the law of the land. The
victim's name is not.
The problem with printing the victim's name in a rape case is that if
the victim is a woman, and most of them are, she is assumed guilty
until proven innocent, and in many people's minds not even then. If
our society treated rape victims otherwise, then it might be marginally
less harmful to the victim to print his or her name. In my mind, the
harm to the individual far outweighs any putative public right to know.
-dick
|
802.57 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Tue Jun 30 1992 13:42 | 12 |
| Re: .55
Interesting you should bring this up. Apparently, Patricia Bowman has been
making the talk-show rounds repeating her accusations against Smith. She
was asked why the defendant's name should be be released but not the alleged
victim's, to which her response was that it was unnecessary to withhold the
defendant's name because he was innocent until proven guilty. The writer
of the opinion piece I was reading (Ellen Goodman, I think) then went on to
wonder if that presumption of innocence shouldn't continue after the
verdict.
Steve
|
802.58 | No need for shame! | ONETWO::STUDENTACCT | | Tue Jun 30 1992 14:58 | 20 |
| dick:
By default, if the defendant is presumed innocent, then by default the
alleged victim has to be presumed guilty of lying. How else can you
have it, two innocent people?
Personally, I think more sexual assault education of boys and girls
should be implemented in schools, colleges, and the workplace. The
girls and women should be encouraged to always report the assaults.
The boys and men should be given an in depth definition of NO!!! Until
that occurs, a victim who hides behind the press, lawyers, and dark
rooms will always stigmatize rapes. It is a crime of violence and that
has to be made an issue.
I found it distasteful for Desiree Washington, Tyson's victim, to run
behind her lawyers and hide her face. She didn't do anything wrong!!!
If we, men & women, focussed our attention on the assailants, I'm
certain that the men would cover their faces in shame!
|
802.59 | public case maybe? | EARRTH::MACKINNON | | Tue Jun 30 1992 15:30 | 11 |
| re -1
I think alot of the reason why she wanted to hide her face
was mainly due to the fact that it was a very public case.
However, I also feel that victims of rape are made to feel
it was their fault and that by hiding themselves they are
freeing themselves of that accusation or of a chance of
that accusation being made. This has always puzzled me
how the victims of rape have typically been made to look
like they wanted it to happen themselves. It's very sad.
|
802.60 | The Media LIED to me? | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Tue Jun 30 1992 16:26 | 16 |
| re: .54
> While some women may have done so later, no women burned bras in the
> now legendary protest of the Miss America contest, that was a media
> non event..
Bonnie,
You mean the Media LIED to me!
Seriously, though, you mean that this famous event never happened?
This is another of those alligators in the sewers type of thing?
BTW I'm glad you liked what I wrote.
patrick
|
802.61 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Wed Jul 01 1992 08:58 | 8 |
| Patrick
The 'bra burning incident' has been shown over and over to be a media
fabrication.
so what's new? ;-)
Bonnie
|
802.62 | | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Wed Jul 01 1992 10:47 | 31 |
| re: .61
> so what's new? ;-)
Bonnie,
My perception of Feminism has been greatly influenced by the Media.
In my other note I stated how my views on Feminism changed. I guess
my question is has Feminism changed that much or is the Media just
showing it differently. By some media depictions the large percentage
of NOW is Lesbian. How would I, Joe Curious, know if that's even
close. I mean I assume that some NOW members are Lesbian (big deal)
but where does the Media get this info and why can't I have it too?
I'm 42 years old. My recollections of seeing Eisenhower on our
little black and white TV in the 50's showed him to be a very honest
hard working 'Protector of the American Way' kind of Father type.
Later I learned that he was an uncouth tyrant. The media KNEW of
the JFK and brethern antics with Marilin Monroe and a cast of who
knows how many others but kept it from the American Public. I
really think that Politicians recreational sexual activities may or
may not be relevant. (For me it depends; eg. fooling around in the
White House pool with your spouse/SO etc. is private stuff. If
Hilary Clinton is ok with Bill's escapades, I'm not going to judge
him.) I would much rather know what George Bush's part in the
Iran-Contra 'Arms for Hostages' deal was.
Sorry for the digression.
patrick
|
802.63 | | SMURF::SMURF::BINDER | Rem ratam agite | Wed Jul 01 1992 14:56 | 22 |
| Re: .58
It's not lying that the rape victim is assumed to be guilty of, it's
incitement to rape. By this I mean that the common presumption is that
she has done something to make the guy do what he did - dress
provocatively, get him drunk, lead him on, you name it. Defense
shysters make hay in this field, badgering and picking on any possible
fault. The victim is treated as the criminal while the rapist is just
the good boy who let himself get seduced by that bitch.
"Tell me, Miss Victim, isn't it true that you have had sex with several
men you weren't married to, one of them as recently as last week? Do
you not in fact now live with a man who isn't your husband? Isn't it
true that you have a history of promiscuity? Isn't it true that you in
fact enjoyed yourself with the defendant and then cried rape in the
morning when you sobered up and couldn't think of what to tell your
boyfriend? We have it on the testimony of eyewitnesses that on the
night of the alleged rape you were wearing a wraparound miniskirt and a
sexy low-cut tank top - now isn't it true that you were reallyt in the
bar actively seeking out a man to sleep with?"
-dick
|
802.64 | Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a | COMET::DYBEN | | Wed Jul 01 1992 15:55 | 9 |
|
-1
What if it's true! Or are all alleged rape victims above reproach?
David
|
802.65 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Wed Jul 01 1992 16:38 | 10 |
| re <what if>
It is almost certainly the case that at least once in history a rape
victim was not above reproach and incited the rape.
It is almost certainly the case that at least once in the future a rape
victim will have not been above reproach and will have incited the rape.
So given that your what-if has been established what would you like to
say about it?
|
802.66 | | VMSMKT::KENAH | Seeking the Philosopher's Stone | Wed Jul 01 1992 16:39 | 9 |
| >What if it's true! Or are all alleged rape victims above reproach?
It doesn't matter -- would you ask an assault victim if he were ever
in a fight? Would you ask a hit-and-run victim if he had ever driven
recklessly? There's no connection between a victim's past behavior
and the present.
andrew
|
802.67 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Thu Jul 02 1992 10:41 | 6 |
| in re .62
Patrick I'd encourage you to gets Faludi's book from the library
it should be an eye opener.
Bonnie
|
802.68 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Thu Jul 02 1992 13:07 | 18 |
| .24
Sorry to do a long shot back. But Vick. The spelling of women/wymin/etc
IMHO was to acknowledge that they <feminist> where separated from the
run of the mill woman/girls. And I have had my tongue, hand, and other body
parts slapped because I did Not spell, pronounce, etc these words
correctly. And I am under the impression if these words are used in
such a manor of degrogation(sp), then those who print them are up for auto
dismissal from this company. Again, incongruities and mixed messages
from the feminist side.
Could we create a file/note number to learn how to become politically
correct as so not to offend anyone? I feel that I have some reasonable
idea. But to someone new to this lovely note file might not have Clue
#1 otherwise. And of course no one would want to continue this course
of sending out mixed messages and incongruities to anyone who is not
of the understanding. Right?:)
Geo
|
802.69 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Thu Jul 02 1992 13:23 | 24 |
| .66
This note is confusing me. I understand your point made. But as it has
been clearly pointed out in other notes reguarding rape. I dissagree
with this statement totally that there is no connection between a
victim's past behaivior and present. There are many execptions to this
and the woman of the 'Big Dans Rape Case' was clearly a noted
execption.
And there is a man who was falsely accused, spend some 15-20
years in prision because a 14 year old girl/woman/wymin fingered him
as the bad guy, and because she has a concense. Went to the athorities
and told them she was lying! GREAT! When do you come kicking my doors
down? And falsely arrest me? Whats the difference bewteen a Witch Hunt
and sending someone up the river falsely?
Oh by the way! Reciently in New Hampshire they started the Dead Beat
Dads program. The first two men rounded up, Nazi style, were not
hiding. They were at the last address known. And One of them was living
in public assisted housing. IF there should be offence taken here, why
the Dead Beat Dads? Why not the Dead Beat Parents? Gender biased?
Rous! Rous! Rous! Everybody up for Rooooooll call! Hogan! What are you
doing with that shovel in your hand? The garden club?..........
But why are you making a flower bed under your bunks?? ;^)
|
802.70 | | SMURF::SMURF::BINDER | Rem ratam agite | Thu Jul 02 1992 14:06 | 17 |
| Re: .69
The point you are trying to refute is still sound. Admitted that in
some extremely rare cases a victim's past behavior bears on the present
crime against that victim, it is still categorically unfair to assume,
as many people seem to do, that rape is *always* the fault of the
victim. It was pointed out that we do not habitually assume that an
assault victim or an H&R victim is responsible for being struck, even
though it does sometimes happen that the victim is guilty of
contributory negligence sufficient to mitigate the severity of the
crime. That the courts allow rape victims to be so callously and
unfairly treated is despicable.
And the word is "raus" not "rous." Unless you're referring to the
Rodents Of Unusual Size in The Princess Bride.
-dick
|
802.71 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Thu Jul 02 1992 14:09 | 4 |
| Regardless of how it seems to you, I think that a very modest
percentage of people actually in fact assume that rape is *always* the
fault of the victim. I think you do your position a disservice by such
an exaggeration.
|
802.72 | doesnt matter | EARRTH::MACKINNON | | Thu Jul 02 1992 14:36 | 12 |
|
re .66
George,
It doesnt matter. If a woman walked bare ass naked down the
street NOONE has the right to rape her. And the same with a
a man or a child. No means No!!! Rape is an act of violence
and nothing else.
Michele
|
802.74 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Thu Jul 02 1992 14:58 | 131 |
| re <rape is an act of violence and nothing else>
That is simplistic, and I believe not only false, but also harmful because
it raises the decibel level (on our way to a shouting match)
it is so easy to rebut.
This is what I said about that in March
<<< IKE22::NOTE$:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES-V4.NOTE;1 >>>
-< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 302.41 Castration 41 of 110
VMSSPT::NICHOLS "conferences are like apple barrel" 115 lines 14-MAR-1992 16:41
-< submitted in parallel with .40, which was replying to this >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
re .39
<please clarify your statement that sometimes rape is a sexual act>
<without violence>
Sure, I'll try to...
But before beginning, if you feel the need to challenge my reasons for
answering your question, perhaps there needs to be a separate discussion
that addresses my motivation. I feel comfortable about my motivation but
appreciate that many of the readers may not be so inclined. If you feel
it's important I am willing to address that, but hopefully in another
discussion.
Having said that, I think we need some agreement about the definition of
the word "violence" and the word "sexual".
The definition for "sexual" I find useful is something like the
following ...
"sexual activities": activities that use various organs for stimulation to
the point of orgasm.
I would include manipulation of the clitoris or the penis, as well as
various acts of penetration that result in orgasm. I think it might be
reasonable to expand the above definition to include even those acts that
do _not_ ultimately result in orgasm, but I don't see any point in doing
that.
I think it is _possible_, even plausible, to define "violence" in such
a way that all "Rape" has violence associated with it. Particularly if
a definition of violence includes such things as "emotional violence,
intimidation caused by a power imbalance, or seduction using a power
imbalance as leverage. If that or something like it is the definition
of violence that you have in mind, then there is no point in reading
any further; this reply will be unable to convince you that rape can be
non-violent. Indeed, if I were to accept that definition of violence
then I would probably agree that _all_ rape has violence associated
with it.
I personally find such a definition of violence to be somewhat parochial
or idiosyncratic; and would prefer to use a definition of "rape of
violence" as something of the sort:
"any and all sexual congress that is preceded by or includes physical harm
or pain to the victim"
(This definition leaves a _little_ bit to be desired because it would
include some painful acts of voluntary adult intercourse where the woman is
a virgin. I hope this complication can be ignored; it seems irrelevant).
As a result of the above definition, I think we can accept as an example of
violent rape a mother who slaps her 6 year old son in the face and says
"yes, you will do <discretion prevents hypothetical graphic description>
and you will do it now, or I will beat you with the ironing cord." It has
elements of violence, pain, intimidation, etc.
If the activity results in an orgasm for the mother, I believe it is
reasonable to cite that activity as violent rape WITH a significant
sexual component (for the mother).
For non-violent but sexual rape, how about the following examples...
Rape as it has been defined in this conference has included unwanted
sex that happens as a result of such things as badgering, intimidation,
blackmail etc. Although such sex is unwanted it does not have (my
definition of) violence associated with it. If you understand _such_ acts
to be rape, then they become additional examples of rape without violence.
Also, there has been much discussion in this conference of "date rape". I
think there is wide spread agreement that some "date rapes" are absent
physical harm. Yet, many people in this conference believe that such
activities deserves the label "Rape"
Most states in the United States have laws on the books defining
"statutory rape" as (something like) "sexual congress between an adult and
a minor". The definition of a minor varies from state to state, probably
from (say) 14 to 17. However, though the age varies, there is uniformity
that a crime has been committed and that crime is statutory rape. Many of
these acts take place without violence and _with_ sexual gratification on
the part of one or both participants.
A mother climbs into bed with her 13 year old son, hugs and cuddles and
strokes him gently then proceeds with seduction that culminates in
intercourse to orgasm for both parties. This event is very unsual, even
rare, perhaps, but such events do occur. (If you feel more comfortable
reversing the gender of parent and child, that's o.k.).
That too is rape (albeit statutory) I think you will agree. However,
no violence was present. Though there is likely to be devastating emotional
or psychic harm, there was no physical harm. I think most people would also
consider the act to have had a significant sexual component.
One more (only somewhat hypothetical) example, homosexual rape. A
"fully heterosexual" (whatever that means) man is accosted, knocked
down and tied up, by two gay -but violent- men (let's say following a
session in a steroid involved weight lifting session in a local gym.
The two attackers take the man's pants off and bring him to
orgasm; then use his body to bring themselves to orgasm. Unquestionably
violent. Equally unquestionably sexual, and perhaps speaks to the -at
least relatively- involuntary nature of a male's sexuality. I think
most men -straight or gay- cringe at the presentation of such an
experience. At the same time, I think most men would share the very
uneasy feeling that the scenario is not far fetched.
I hope that you can agree then that many commonly used definitions of
rape allow both for the absence of violence as well as the presence of
sexual gratification. If not, your comments are welcome.
But, please, I have spent several hours, composing this answer. I hope you
will give this reply -and me- the courtesy of some fairly careful
reflection before responding. If you find yourself responding in anger,
perhaps some other discussion is more appropriate.
respectfully
herb
|
802.75 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Thu Jul 02 1992 21:25 | 6 |
| .67> It doesnt matter. If a woman walked bare ass naked down the
.67> street NOONE has the right to rape her. And the same with a
Do we have the right to laugh?
Or is that sexual harassment?
|
802.76 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Thu Jul 02 1992 21:40 | 19 |
| re: "womyn"
This originated in the late 70s, early 80s. It was first used by
radical feminists who wanted an identity that was in no way linked
to men (hence the dropping of "man" from "woman"). I have read that
the majority of those women were separatists (they wanted to live in
a place that was free of men - analogous to whites who want to rid
all blacks and minorities from their neighborhoods), but this is not
certain.
What is certain is that the women wanted to distance themselves from
men so badly, and in every way, that they altered everyday words so
that there was no connection to "men" or "man." Woman was the first.
It's Ok to loathe men so much as to not want the letters m-a-n in a
word that identifies you, but it's not Ok for people to mock such
extremism by spelling man as "myn."
Gotta be careful ... some people have no sense of humor.
|
802.77 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Thu Jul 02 1992 21:49 | 11 |
| RE: .76 Mike Z.
> It's Ok to loathe men so much as to not want the letters m-a-n in a
> word that identifies you, but it's not Ok for people to mock such
> extremism by spelling man as "myn."
Loathe men? Nonsense.
They were trying to get your [generic] attention. Obviously, they
succeeded.
|
802.78 | | CSC32::GORTMAKER | Whatsa Gort? | Thu Jul 02 1992 21:57 | 8 |
| re.72
I visit a clothing optional resort several times weekly and
about half of our membership is female none have been raped
(at the resort) even though they are quite naked.
Nudity has nothing to do with it.
-j
|
802.79 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Thu Jul 02 1992 23:45 | 3 |
| re:.77
So does a chicken with its head cut off, if it squawks loud enough.
|
802.80 | | MOUTNS::CONLON | | Fri Jul 03 1992 01:08 | 12 |
| RE: .79 Mike Z.
>> They were trying to get your [generic] attention. Obviously, they
>> succeeded.
> So does a chicken with its head cut off, if it squawks loud enough.
If the attention is gained for months or years, though (long past the
point where the instances of "mocking" outnumber the original "attention-
getting" exponentially,) you might wonder why the original event(s) have
had such a profound impact.
|
802.81 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:05 | 9 |
| in re .69, George, I seriously doubt that the state of NH called
their program 'dead beat dads'... It is more likely that the
title was created by the media. In Massachusetts they highlighted
the 10 individuals who were the most in arrears in their child care
payments. I assume that is what New Hampshire did also. I fail to
see that the fact that no women were included in this list is an
example of prejudice against men.
Bonnie
|
802.82 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:18 | 7 |
| Read and weep. The program is called Deadbeat Dads!
...................Dogs that drink from the toilet bowl, next on Ophra! :)
|
802.83 | what message are we sending children? | CVG::THOMPSON | Radical Centralist | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:20 | 10 |
| >I fail to
> see that the fact that no women were included in this list is an
> example of prejudice against men.
Perhaps not prejudice against men but it would be nice it the message
that "it's not just men who owe child support" were given. We have all
to much in our society that sends the message to children that "men are
bad women are good" as it is.
Alfred
|
802.84 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:23 | 5 |
| George,
Can you give me a reference that the *state* called it that?
Bonnie
|
802.85 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:26 | 1 |
| Yes, call 603-883-7726 and talk to someone in DHS <dis human services>.
|
802.86 | | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:38 | 32 |
| >> <<< Note 802.72 by EARRTH::MACKINNON >>>
>> -< doesnt matter >-
>> re .66
>> George,
>> It doesnt matter. If a woman walked bare ass naked down the
>> street NOONE has the right to rape her. And the same with a
>> a man or a child. No means No!!! Rape is an act of violence
>> and nothing else.
>> Michele
Michele,
Catherine McKinnon is a University of Michigan Professor who has
been very politically active the last few years. Her platform is
that pornography causes rape and other abuses of women. This
platform has been the battle cry for Andrea Dworkin and others to
legistate anti-porn laws in various states. She sees rape as
primarily a sexual act.
Now personally I think that this is a cop-out. Ted Bundy brutalized
scores of women and then he tells James Dobson (prominent Christian
TV and radio minister) that pornography made him do it.
patrick
|
802.87 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 06 1992 10:41 | 14 |
| Our local DHS was caught red faced when they rounded up these men and
both were at the address listed on the poster. When the the local news
media showed up with the authorities, they found, to their dis belief
that one of the Deadbeat dads was living in a Public Housing
building.... And was carted off to the camps where he will be
interrogated for trying to escape, having an illegal radio, and sporting
a picture of John Kennedy on the wall of his living room....
Roooous! Rooous! Rous! Everybody up! Roooooll call! Hogan..... What
are you doing with dhat shovel? Your digging an inground pool? Under
your bunk??
|
802.89 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 06 1992 11:07 | 5 |
| I call em like I see em with the roous.:) And yes, I will agree with
you on the name. But I yet to see any dead beat moms. And funny, as a
percentage of them vs the men in this category. They are higher in
default then the men as a percentage. And that was from the local
DHS!:)
|
802.90 | | VMSMKT::KENAH | Seeking the Philosopher's Stone | Mon Jul 06 1992 11:15 | 1 |
| Actually, it's RAUS...
|
802.88 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jul 06 1992 12:00 | 6 |
| George, as someone mentioned earlier it is *RAUS* not roos..
and IMHO that was an extremely stupid name for the NH DHS to give
the program.
Bonnie
|
802.91 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Mon Jul 06 1992 12:01 | 6 |
| Thankyou Andrew, I corrected my note.
and George, percentage of what? being in default or total $$$ in
default?
Bonnie
|
802.92 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 06 1992 12:17 | 16 |
| The that was on both counts. But because men, are in the lower
percentile of custody, it makes them look bad as an over all. When you
get into the percentage of who and who, you start to take on a new
picture.
Because women have/do earn a lower wage against the men,
its harder to get them to pay, or pay fairly because the sexually
biased way the courts look and men and women and child support. Even
though my ex pays, it is a lower percentage of her wage than if I were
paying. I don't care, I am not here to impoverish her. And besides she
does help out with buying cloths and etc. I would not push the issue.
If this were a man paying, the courts would hit him max to the wall,
as these rasputians are. Just talk to the gentlemen who are sleeping on
a couch, or in the cars out there if you have some doubt about the
velleity of my info.
|
802.93 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Mon Jul 06 1992 12:43 | 5 |
| According to the article I read, there were some women considered for the
list, but none met the criteria they had established, primarily that being
that they owed at least a certain amount.
Steve
|
802.94 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 06 1992 13:56 | 4 |
| But Steve, that would not take in that percentage of mean income as
I mentioned earlier. If everything is taken on a percentage basis. Then
you might find these women on the hit list. But what can I say. I am
not a member of NOW.
|
802.95 | what the HELL is a WYMYN??????? | CSC32::PITT | | Mon Jul 06 1992 15:09 | 16 |
|
re .1
David,
I would to ask a question that I have been wanting to ask for quite
some time. Since I'm not up on all the latest greatest "correct things
to call people", I'd like to know why you insist on calling WOMEN
wymyn. What is that suppose to mean? Does it imply that some women
think that 'women' is a dirty word? I really don't get it, but I know
that it annoys the HELL out of me!
thanks!
Cathy (who likes REAL words!)
|
802.96 | ok, | CSC32::PITT | | Mon Jul 06 1992 15:26 | 12 |
|
ok, so I read past note 1 and found (to my great relief) that I'm not
the only one who is annoyed by the word WYMYN! I was most concerned
that I'd seen this misuse of the English language before in many notes
and had never seen anyone questioning it. I thought that the world
really HAD gone to poop!
I respectfuly withdraw the question.
cathy :-)
|
802.97 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Mon Jul 06 1992 16:19 | 11 |
| Re: .94
Percentage of income is a bit difficult to use as a measure when the state
is claiming it can't find the NCP in the first place. If I recall the
article said that there were very few delinquent NCP mothers compared to
the number of fathers.
Anyway, I suggest further discussion of state "deadbeat" lists continue in
note 781.
Steve
|
802.98 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jul 06 1992 17:32 | 13 |
|
Cathy Pitt,
New to the notesfile are we? :-) I accept your withdrawl! Just
remember to always read thru the notes before you fire away at
a person, this avoids premature conclusions and conversely(sp) the
need for a withdrawl, not to mention premature withdrawls,which
of course is dealt with in another topic altogether!
Sincerely,
Freud
|
802.99 | | RIPPLE::KENNEDY_KA | Winds of Change | Tue Jul 07 1992 11:22 | 4 |
| Well Cathy, I'm with you. The spelling of wymyn, myn and humyn really
annoys me too.
Karen
|
802.100 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Tue Jul 07 1992 11:32 | 8 |
|
Karen,
I think it's a dead horse now!
David
|
802.101 | she's far from the norm | EARRTH::MACKINNON | | Tue Jul 07 1992 12:11 | 32 |
|
re .86
Patrick,
I view rape as an act of violence. I also feel that
a person's actions prior to the rape should not be included
in settling the court decision. When someone says no then
it should stop. What is it about the word no that some
folks just don't understand? It really is such a simple
concept.
As for Catherine McKinnons views, to be honest I haven't
read her book and until the entry was posted didnt even
know of her or her ideas. I think she is far from the
norm as far as what women really think. Sounds to me like
she is just trying to pin blame on people which doesnt
help at all.
I think it would be far more beneficial if everyone in
this world would start thinking about each other as the
brothers and sisters we really are. When you get right
down to it, the only differences are the ones we choose
to point out. Noone is better than anyone else as
human beings. If we all started treating other with
respect and caring then we would see alot of the problems
we are seeing now begin to work themselves out. What
I see Ms McKinnon's ideas doing is simply throwing more
fuel on the fire instead of finding ways to dowse the
fire.
Michele
|
802.102 | actions speak louder than vowyls... | FSOA::DARCH | Female-Lady-Wymmyn-Femniac | Tue Jul 07 1992 13:02 | 16 |
|
Wow, more than 70 replies since I was reading here last and the
spelling issue is *still* the #1 "question for feminists"! Yes,
Cathy, the world has "gone to poop"...again...still...(Always has,
always will 8-)
As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Dyben [and Mr. Rauh, and others of either
sex] are free to spell "women" any way he wants to. It seems
terribly unfair that only half the population gets all the fun of
reinventing [or massacring] the English language.
It seems some people need to a) get a sense of humor, b) apply rules
fairly, and/or c) differentiate the real, meaningful issues from the
endlessly moot nits.
IMHO, any persyn can spell wymmyn (or myn!) any way s/he wants to.
|
802.103 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Tue Jul 07 1992 13:30 | 9 |
| Now! Now! I wish not to get my sorry tush in trouble for anything. I
just want to understand that if you want us to be politically correct
lets have a definition note as so we can correctly spell names, such as
women/wymen/wymin/etc. And to what degree of what you wish us to apply
to what, where, and whom. I am not here to bully-rag, taunt, or down
right make anyone ugly at me.
Insofar as a sense of humor..... Bhaaa! Haaa! Haa! It comes with the
turf!:)
|
802.104 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Tue Jul 07 1992 14:19 | 18 |
| re .72
<Rape is an act of violence and nothing else.
re .101
<I view rape as an act of violence.
Well, its nice to see progress.
Please give us the definition of that 'violence' that is ALWAYS part of the
scene when an adult is seducing a minor.
Alternatively, you might want to change the statement to read that rape
is TYPICALLY an act of violence I would certainly concur.
Until then I think common sense as well as logic compels one to view
the statement
<I view rape as an act of violence> as an editorial statement rather
than a statement about reality. Of course, one is entitled to take an
editorial position about most anything, i spose even including
whether the moon is made of green cheese.
herb
|
802.105 | | FMNIST::olson | Doug Olson, ISVG West, Mtn View CA | Tue Jul 07 1992 14:56 | 7 |
| > *still* the #1 "question for feminists"!
well, Deb, some of us feminists choose not to get involved in certain issues.
that rather makes it not 'our' most pressing issue, no? careful with your
generalities, if you please.
DougO
|
802.106 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Tue Jul 07 1992 15:13 | 10 |
|
> well,Deb, some of us feminists choose not to get involved in certain
> issues.
Whats it like being a man and a feminist? Are you picked on?
David
|
802.107 | | FMNIST::olson | Doug Olson, ISVG West, Mtn View CA | Tue Jul 07 1992 15:16 | 3 |
| not so much that I notice...
DougO
|
802.108 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Tue Jul 07 1992 15:37 | 8 |
|
-1
What about the other part of the question?
David
|
802.110 | | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Tue Jul 07 1992 16:54 | 32 |
| re: <<< Note 802.101 by EARRTH::MACKINNON >>>
-< she's far from the norm >-
Michele,
Catherine McKinnon's view may not be the norm for women but she is
very active in various state legislatures. She has gained national
recognition as an "expert witness" with testimony for everything
from the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill hearings to the Nationally
broadcast nightly news programs.
She currently is working on legislation that would hold various
publications and authors liable if the perpetrator says that he/she
was 'inspired' by what they read or looked at (pornography). Under
her definitions the woman in Iowa (SomethingMeyer) that came forward
in a Newspaper that described her ordeal of being raped, could be
held liable if a rapist said that he read the article and went out
and committed rape.
I see these types of things as axe-grinding. Rape was around long
before Pornography. I agree that viewing each other as spriitual
brothers and sisters would go a long way to help the problem but I
don't see that as something happening on a large scale right now.
Rape is a complex thing. It can be committed without ever speaking
a word or raising a fist. It happens when someone mis-uses power
over another. It's an act of control and degradation that uses sex
only as a vehicle to manifest it's sickness. In my opinion in order
to stop rape you first have to stop the power of one over another.
patrick
|
802.111 | | FSOA::DARCH | Female-Lady-Wymmyn-Femniac | Tue Jul 07 1992 18:51 | 10 |
|
re .103 George and .105 DougO,
Silly myn...methinks y'all need a lesson in reading comprehension. ;^)
...in particular .103's
> just want to understand that if you want us to be politically correct
darch (who's about as Apolitical as you can get)
|
802.112 | I think I got 'em both, DougO... | ESGWST::RDAVIS | Carp per diem | Wed Jul 08 1992 11:51 | 7 |
| > Whats it like being a man and a feminist? Are you picked on?
1) Like being an intelligent man.
2) Only by jerks.
Ray
|
802.114 | IT'S WOMEN!!!! | ONETWO::STUDENTACCT | | Wed Jul 08 1992 11:53 | 6 |
| Ok, I am tired of this crap between spelling it wymyn, women, etc., let cut
it out. You people are starting to sound like politicians worried
about everything but the issues. The dictionary says women so let's use
it!!!!!!
... Until it changes.
|
802.115 | MY last word on spelling :-) | CSC32::PITT | | Wed Jul 08 1992 12:16 | 22 |
|
re Freud
NO, I can't always wade through 100 notes while remembering things that
I'd like to comment on, so no, I won't always withhold comment until
I've done that. Anyways, it's been my experience that by the time this
type of conversation gets to 100+ notes, personnel has become involved
because someones 'rights' have been infringed upon and the topic is
shut down. And, no, I'm certainly NOT new to notes. It just took awhile
for that purposful mispelling pissed my off enough to bother getting
into a tif over it.
For what it's worth, we are ALL MAN . No amount of creative spelling
will change that.
But I have commented before on "what's in a name". Apparently, some
people feel that by rearranging a letter or two in a word, they will
change something. I guess it all comes down to what's important to you.
And I do reserve the right be annoyed by it.
Cathy
|
802.116 | | PASTIS::MONAHAN | humanity is a trojan horse | Wed Jul 08 1992 12:57 | 13 |
| Substituting "y" for "e" or "a" is a disadvantage when presenting a
real argument about inequality or discrimination; it tends to focus the
mind on the unorthodox spelling rather than on the argument being
presented.
The substitution when the discussion is facetious is as bad since
it implies that use of "y" means you are joking, which further detracts
from its use in any serious discussions.
Could the people who think it has any value explain how they would
deal with sexual discrimination in France, where the words are "homme"
and "femme", and "personne" (either a anybody or nobody) is always
feminine?
|
802.117 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | Michael Zarlenga, DEC/FXO | Wed Jul 08 1992 13:24 | 3 |
| You people need sensitivity training!
Go stand over there ... by that personhole cover.
|
802.118 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Wed Jul 08 1992 13:44 | 9 |
|
> go stand over there... by the personhole cover.
:-)
David
|
802.119 | food for thought | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | ruthless compassion | Wed Jul 08 1992 14:37 | 36 |
|
This may sound strange, but try to imagine this, please, men:
What if people were discussing and talking about men, their qualities,
what they believe, how they feel, asking questions, wondering what
motivates them, and the SINGLE SALIENT EMPHASIS in the discussion was
how to spell "MEN".
How would you feel. Belittled? Like someone was missing the point?
Like you could be captured and described in 3 little letters as if the
individual baggage and expectations each person brings to that
description were *controllable* and *limited* by those three letters?
The spelling is superfluous. The spelling doesn't matter. Spell it
however you wish to feel comfortable. Chacun a son gout. To each
their own. But please realize that every woman in this world has a
heart, has a mind, has a soul, has a spirt, has a sincere desire to
grow and contribute to this world, and often what stops them are
people's preconceptions about what women should/shouldn't or can/can't
do. THAT'S why feminism is important - to help break through those
obstacles so women will be unstoppable, will be able to achieve what
they can conceive. Women are powerful and intricate and remarkable,
women are angry and gentle and frightened. Women *are*. Women *exist*.
And each is different.
Men are remarkable too, but there are some things stopping women that
aren't stopping men, and that's what I hope feminism will change.
There are things stopping men, and they should be broken-through also,
but that's not what feminism is about. That's why I asked if there was
*really* a national organization for men (N.O.M.) and if so did anyone
have any information about them.
-Jody
|
802.120 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Wed Jul 08 1992 15:19 | 8 |
|
-1 Jody,
You keep talking like that and I might convert! Well said.
David
|
802.121 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Thu Jul 09 1992 10:01 | 11 |
| .111
I do not see what is wrong with my question. I wish not to offend
women/wymin/feminist/etc. IF I has taken this many note reply to get a
handle on what is Politically Correct is this the kind of mixed messages and
incongruity you wish to portray?
IF this faction is a well org machine that we have been eluded to
then this question and answer should be simple. But it seems to be
otherwise.
Peace
|
802.122 | "peace"? i'm not at war... | FSOA::DARCH | July 9 - National Ice Cream Day | Thu Jul 09 1992 11:39 | 22 |
| re .121 George,
After what you've related in .68 I can see why we're having problems
communicating here. I apologize if my levity of the subject matter
upset you, but that's the way I deal with a lot of stuff nowadays.
Anyway, if it makes you feel better, you are not alone. It doesn't
make me feel better, though...I still get disgusted every time I read
accounts like yours.
Like I said, I am not "politically correct" so don't worry about
offending me. If by chance you did, I would discuss it...with *you*.
Also as I said, "actions speak louder than vowyls", which is my
succinct way of saying that I don't care how you spell what...that is
not the real issue (as Jody expounded on).
I don't know about any "well org machine"...I do know about some
hotheaded radicals who know who to run to and throw tantrums to.
I'm not one of 'em.
I don't speak for any 'organization' or so-called 'community'; I
only speak for myself. And I prefer to do it with humor. 8^)
|
802.123 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Thu Jul 09 1992 12:47 | 11 |
| O.K. fine. So the answer is still open to all, the voule game. I am,
again, trying to understand if someone says spell it this way vs that. Then
lets start the ground work to make it understandable as so to build
bridges vs setting fire to them because we are not communicating.
I am not a radical counter part either, I haven't burt any jocky
straps, and I have not gone into some defence company and thrown pigs
blood around to so that I am against wars either. And so.... because
this is just a discussion, you really don't need to apologize.
Peace_because_its_better_than_war :^)
|
802.124 | Parental Rights=Human Rights | PCCAD::DINGELDEIN | PHOENIX | Thu Jul 09 1992 12:53 | 16 |
| RE 119-JODY
Yes there is a real N.O.M. It is a nationaly organized male advocasy
group with around 12000 members and growing daily. I've contacted the
group in New York and found there is a local chapter on Cape Cod. I'm
awaiting mail describing the National charter and will pass on info as
I get it.
AS we speak there is an erosion of Mens rights in America. Many far
reaching policies and legislation are being formulated as we speak.
Specifically relating to the supreme coarts ruling on abortion
and congressional hearings on the Grady-Hyde bill wich is the proposed
Child Support Assurance Act (comprehensive replacement for AFDC). I
watched these hearings on C-SPAN and found the tone and content to be
very negative towards men.
dan d
|
802.125 | | POWDML::K_MITCHELL | Madness takes its toll | Thu Jul 09 1992 13:12 | 12 |
|
re ::RAUGH
> I am not a radical counter part either, I haven't burt any jocky
> straps, and I have not gone into some defence company and thrown pigs
> blood around
you're a good myn ! :-)
kits
|
802.126 | we all speak NEWSPEAK? | FSOA::DARCH | The cake's shaped like WHAT? | Thu Jul 09 1992 13:38 | 20 |
| re .123 George,
Ah ha!! That's what we need...a jockey strap burning party to
liberate all you myn from your patriarchal, sexist bonds of male
chauvinism. ;^)
I don't know what pompous personages have been *telling* you what
to say or how to say it, but if it were me I'd probably thank 'em
kindly and do whatever I wanted to. (But then again, I'm a feisty
old bitch and you're probably not.)
If you're looking for a definitive answer on the "RIGHT" vs. "WRONG"
'PC' way of spelling, you're asking the wrong person. That's not my
schtick. Language is a puzzle, a game...constantly evolving. I
fully expect in the not-too-distant future that we'll see dictionaries
giving "wimmin" and other variations as acceptable alternatives to
"women". Will it become THE ONE-AND-ONLY RIGHT WAY of spelling it?
I wouldn't hold my breath...it's an etymological mess. (But Orwell
would love it, dontcha think??)
|
802.127 | Thanks! And that men. ;-))) | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Thu Jul 09 1992 13:38 | 2 |
|
|
802.128 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | ain't my type o'hype, baybeh | Thu Jul 09 1992 21:54 | 3 |
| re:.123
I've burnt a few. Taco Bell is a killer.
|
802.129 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 11:27 | 11 |
|
Question # 5 ( maybes 6:-) )
Does feminism advocate woman having the choice to serve in combat
or no option at all ( drafted ).?
David
|
802.130 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Fri Jul 10 1992 11:41 | 7 |
| I don't know what 'feminism' advocates, I *personally* feel that
if one sex must be drafted both should be, and that opportunities
in the services be base on personal abilities not gender, i.e.
if men are drafted women should be, and that women who are physically
capable of combat status should be trained for it.
Bonnie
|
802.131 | | VALKYR::RUST | | Fri Jul 10 1992 11:41 | 14 |
| Re .129: I don't know what NOW's position is. In my view, feminism
ought to be consistent, but that doesn't mean all feminists think women
should go to war - many of 'em think _nobody_ should go to war.
Given that the military exists, I think women ought to have the same
opportunities - and responsibilities - in the military as men do,
including combat positions. There may well be positions for which fewer
women have the physical strength, but those who can do the job ought to
be given equal consideration for it.
If there _has_ to be a draft, I think women should be subject to it as
well as men - but I'd rather there wasn't one.
-b (with thwarted ambitions to be a fighter pilot)
|
802.132 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Fri Jul 10 1992 12:04 | 4 |
| Feminism isn't a particular organization or religion which issues
"positions". What is "hominism's" position on the subject?
Steve
|
802.133 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 13:13 | 19 |
|
-1
I may not have stated it perfectly, but I think the jist of it
got thru. What I want is the individual opinions of persons claiming
to be feminists. Sorry to excite you confusable types :-)
> What is " hominism's" position
I spoke with Hom just yesterday. He said women are not on average
as aggressive as men, are as large,hence why waste the resources trying
to find those few women that might beat the odds. And besides men would
have to be re-trained to eliminate there protective instincts(fight
to save the women) in combat. All this would costy money and lives,why?
So a few women can say " I slung a 16 with the best of them in Nam"?
David
|
802.134 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Fri Jul 10 1992 13:43 | 12 |
| This sounds a lot like the reasons why Blacks were excluded from
combat in WWII and earlier. Why not just set up a combat unit
of the small percentage of women who can meet the combat requirements
and send them into battle? I'll bet that just like the Japanese
and Black units in earlier wars such a group will come back covered
with medals and honors.
Seriously, if white men can get used to Black men in the services
despite the incredible prejudices then rampant, I think that the
vast majority of men can learn to accept a woman as another soldier.
Bonnie
|
802.135 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Fri Jul 10 1992 13:46 | 4 |
| Well Bonnie, In Viet Nam Many became front line fodder. So I guess you
can throw that one out the window....
Execpt there wasn't any front lines..... Confusing isn't it?:)
|
802.136 | G.I. JANE | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 13:53 | 15 |
|
Bonnie,
Why should I spend the money to afford the FEW women that would even
want to.Hell the enemy doesn't give a d*mn if there fighting the
most Ethically/Sexually balanced army. Dead is Dead. We need our best
fighters with the best equipment. We do not need to divert our funds
to enable a couple of displaced wanna be G.I. JANES into there ultimate
fantasy world.
David
|
802.137 | | RUSURE::MELVIN | Ten Zero, Eleven Zero Zero by Zero 2 | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:01 | 10 |
|
> most Ethically/Sexually balanced army. Dead is Dead. We need our best
> fighters with the best equipment. We do not need to divert our funds
> to enable a couple of displaced wanna be G.I. JANES into there ultimate
> fantasy world.
I think the point is that the best fighters should be chosen, regardless of
gender. The best fighters are NOT always men!
-Joe
|
802.139 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:09 | 17 |
| <What I want is the individual opinions of persons claiming to be
<feminists.
Are you sure that is what you want?
I am beginning to think that what you want is to argue and bicker with
feminists and that you are using the request for their opinions as a
way of getting information that you can argue with.
Not that that isn't a reasonable goal. After all it is the very premise
of SOAPBOX that I heard articulated recently. (I promise, NO sarcasm)
It might have saved a lot of the discussion in these 133 replies if
people had known what your goal was.
I have a hunch that several people might not have offered their view of
feminism.
herb
|
802.141 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:11 | 16 |
|
> the best fighters are NOT always men!
Well since there have never been (U.S.A) any women fighters, you
have about,lets see here, zero divided by, thats it, you have
zero data to prove this point!!
> I think the point is that the best fighters should be chosen
They already have been. Men (on average) ar larger, meaner,and more
aggressive than women. Hence we is the cannon fotter of choice.
David
|
802.142 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:13 | 29 |
|
George
"Many" what were thrown out the window? women? men? Blacks? if you
meant women, how many of them were actually trained combat soldiers?
and how many died in a proportional ratio to similarly trained men?
David
you aren't spending any extra money to train women... if they are
already in the service, and if they meet the qualifications for
combat, then let them be trained just like the men... why do you
think that the small number of women with the physical strength
and physique to be combat soldiers would be a waste if they volunteer
for training... remember the woman in 'alien'? I kind of doubt that
many armies would refuse someone like her in real life.
and inre .141 if the total number of woman combat soldiers is zero
is that because none can do the job or none have been allowed to try..
my guess is the later
Herb,
you are quite perceptive....
Bonnie
|
802.143 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:18 | 15 |
|
Herb,
> are you sure thats what you want
My dearest Herbert. My intentions are to ask question and listen to
answers. I have heard some amazing answers( Jody comes to mind). I
really resent that every time I ask a tough question, or play the
devils advocate someone almost always suspect my motivation( you got
me buddy I am a closet woman hater) :-) So please, please,please,drop
the Freudian " Peek a boo I see you " stuff.
a tiny sarcastic
d
|
802.144 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:20 | 7 |
| Bonnie, Blacks became the front line fodder of Viet Nam. It was a poor
mans war. Only the poor/lower class men went to hunt Charlie. Or be
hunted by Charlie.
It aint me
It aint me
I'm no senator son!
|
802.145 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:21 | 8 |
|
> herb, you are quite perceptive
Paranoids more like it :-)
David
|
802.146 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:27 | 9 |
| Now guys and gals, lets not fight among our selves.
I remember talking to some 17 year old kid at Pease Air Force Base
in the very early 70's. It seems that he had been selected by the
local judge to attend Viet Nam in lew of his past criminal record
of being caught with some cannabis. Another I had met was sent because
he had been caught with a minor girl, He being also 18 and fornication
from some little hay seed town. Both were white, both were sent because
they were bad boys?
|
802.147 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:35 | 11 |
| Hey, guys, I'm not fighting.... but is there any real reason
to bar women who are physically capable of combat duty and
want to volunteer? I realize that they are probably about 2% max of
all inlisted personnel.
But what's the big deal?
and you won't get me even into the service, much less being
fool enough to volunteer to be near battle.
TYVM
|
802.148 | | VMSSG::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:36 | 6 |
| re <perceptive>
thnx Bonnie.
How old do you think he is?
My guess is he is 22 or so, which I spose explains it.
|
802.149 | | WMOIS::REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:43 | 11 |
| Herb, do you mean David Dyben in re 'he'?
dunno, I'd have put him in his late 20s or early 30s... David
do you want to answer our guesses?
and David, it may come as a surprise to you, but like Herb, I
perceive your questions as what used to be identified as '\' in
Soapbox... or stirring up the 'muck' just for the heck of it.
If I'm wrong my appologies.
Bonnie
|
802.150 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Fri Jul 10 1992 14:50 | 2 |
| re <do you mean...>
yes
|
802.151 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 15:02 | 9 |
|
Herb, Bonnie,
/ not! Age 32! Herb, you bore me!
David
|
802.152 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 15:16 | 10 |
|
Question,
What are feminists,feminism,(individual or group) doing to help
other women in other countries with the problems they face? Sexism,
stereotypes,etc,etc.
David
|
802.153 | mine not a popular view amongst feminists | DELNI::STHILAIRE | just another roll of the dice | Fri Jul 10 1992 15:57 | 48 |
| David, I consider myself to be a feminist and, yet, I am against women
being involved in combat. I am against it because, while I realize
there are a *few* women who are suited for combat and would, perhaps,
even enjoy combat, I honestly believe that most women would not want to
have to fight and that most are not physically or emotionally suited
for it. Of course, I also believe that a lot of *men* are not
emotionally suited for combat either, but I guess that's beside the
point! I'm also against women being allowed in combat because I really
don't think it's going to make the world a better place if sometime in
the future, *all* human beings go to war and kill each other, instead
of just the men, as in the past. Also, I don't want women to be
allowed in combat because I'm afraid that it will mean that if there is
ever a draft reinstated, then women will be drafted, too. I have an 18
yr. old daughter and I have desire to see 58,000 19 yr. old girls/women
of my daughter's generation killed, the way 58,000 guys were in my
generation - or any number for that matter. Is it really progress to
have both sexes killing each other, instead of just one? It isn't to
me. Also, there is the argument that female officers cannot advance
as high as they want to, unless they have combat experience. But, I
don't think the advancement of a handful of women should come at the
expense of the 19 yr. old girls, mostly minorities and working class,
who could potentially wind-up getting drafted, and killed, if women are
allowed in combat. Personally, I am against the draft for either men
or women.
As far as the argument that only women "suitable" for combat would be
sent to combat, that's baloney. There have been hundreds and thousands
of men who were unfit for combat, in their own minds, who have been
forced to go. I've seen Full Metal Jacket and The DI and other movies
about basic training. My ex-husband was in the marines and he told me
about basic at Paris Island and how guys who weren't suited for the
military were humiliated by the instructors. The military always makes
sure that a lot of people who aren't suited for combat, either wind-up
there anyway, or commit suicide in basic, one or the other.
In the final analysis, I honestly believe that the majority of women,
in the U.S. have no interest in fighting in combat, and I don't think
it's fair that a vocal minority of feminist attempt to speak for
everyone, on an issue that could impact the lives of so many women
in the future. I really think that men, in general, really are more
suited to combat than women. Although, I would prefer that nobody got
drafted.
Well, David, that's more than you ever wanted to know about my opinion
of women in combat, I bet. :-)
Lorna
|
802.154 | ...must be young :-) | CSC32::PITT | | Fri Jul 10 1992 16:00 | 11 |
|
I find it kinda cute... that whenever someone's opinion is a little
off the rest of the track, that person must be young (read NAIIVE)
and not mature and wise like everyone else!!!!!!!!
but..back to the note....
cat (I'm old too, just different!)
|
802.155 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 16:46 | 8 |
|
Lorna,
Thank you. I may not agree with all that you said but I appreciate
your well thought ought position!
David
|
802.156 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Fri Jul 10 1992 16:47 | 8 |
|
> I find it kinda cute...
Ditto
:-)
David
|
802.157 | Friday afternoon... | SOLVIT::SOULE | Pursuing Synergy... | Fri Jul 10 1992 18:44 | 56 |
| It's Friday, so what the heck...
Feminism: The way I attempted to get answers with regard to feminism was to pose
the question (in topic 724) to people who I perceived to be "experts" on
feminism. The question was: If we could jump into the future where all the
goals of feminism have been achieved, describe your vision of the world. In
724.108, Suzanne Conlon provided a very thoughtful/reasonable response the gist
of which (to me) was that "competence knows no sexual/racial boundaries". Now,
I pretty much operate and have always tried to operate with this tenet in mind
but I don't think of it as feminism but more of pragmatism... It is when
boundaries are set (both natural and artificial) that we run into problems and
efforts to tear them down fit right in with my sense of practicality,
_sometimes_, and I believe it is part of human nature to test boundaries.
Parenting: The "quest for competence" is fraught with many obstacles
(boundaries) and some interesting paradoxes. My wife and I take parenting very
seriously and strive to be "competent parents". This means we have to set
boundaries for our children! As to why children (both boys and girls) start to
disrespect their mothers, I can only offer anecdotal theories based upon my home
and neighborhood. The first word a child learns is "NO" (first boundary a
parent attempts to set). We set this boundary because we Love the child and
feel it's in their best interests. Human nature kicks in and the child attempts
to step over this boundary. In a two-parent home the child has an ally
(confusion) in the different nurturing styles of Mommy and Daddy. With a little
bit of lobbying (read this as persistent whining, tantrum, etc.) the child can
usually appeal to the emotional side of one of his/her parents (guess who?).
So, when time-out fails for Mommy, Daddy has to "clean-their-clock". As the
child evolves from "rug-rat", through "shark" (constant feeding and movement),
to "yard-ape", and finally to "teen-ager", the "no" coming from Mommy (or any
other woman) may not mean the same thing as the "NO" that came from Daddy. In
the case of male children, the next stage of evolution during/after "teen-ager"
may even be "date-rapist". Fortunately, my wife's husband is cognizant of this
potential situation and is working with her to avert the above scenario...
Spelling: "Competent noters" don't have spelling mistakes in their notes or
replies for they are familiar with DECspell. A "competent noter" endeavors to
save the reader from having to translate his/her gibberish into something that
makes sense (yeah, I know, even with perfect spelling a note may still not make
much sense). "Competent noters" care enough to put forth their best and if
there is a utility to help them do so, they will use it. Would you use the
services/products of Digital Equipment Corporation if all its marketing
literature had spelling errors?
Women in combat: What makes a "competent soldier"? What is the theory behind
"basic training"? Certainly, if I am a part of a fire-team the objective is of
paramount importance even to the extent of sacrificing my own life to the
success of the mission. My fellow team members understand this... Can a women
be smart/stupid enough to understand this? Can men trust women to cover their
left or right flank especially where some women are so self-serving as to abort
their own children to save themselves? The flip side is that women who can
abort exhibit a cold-bloodedness which is ideal for a soldier - these women
can walk point! The best solution for women in combat as far as equality goes
is not to have any combat so that men and women never need be involved. But
with regard to war the most "competent army" will usually win.
Folks, have a nice weekend!
|
802.158 | | HEYYOU::ZARLENGA | ain't my type o'hype, baybeh | Fri Jul 10 1992 19:37 | 9 |
| re:.119
It's of little consequence how others spell men.
I prefer the correct spelling.
I actually don't mind having 3 letters in common with ...YUK!GAK! ...women.
...just kiddin' re: YUK!GAK! in case it wasn't as obvious as a CA quake.
|
802.159 | | FMNIST::olson | Doug Olson, ISVG West, Mtn View CA | Fri Jul 10 1992 19:57 | 10 |
| re spell checkers...
not currently available from the notes client I use (xnotes under ULTRIX...)
so I make a few spelling mistakes now and then. In some replies the
spelling errors are deliberate, intended to project a step-back-and-think-
again warning to people who mistakenly associate poor spelling with inferior
intellectual abilities (ie, the errors are obviously deliberate.)
DougO
|
802.160 | | MILKWY::ZARLENGA | ain't my type o'hype, baybeh | Fri Jul 10 1992 22:16 | 1 |
| I hereby forgive all your past spelling errors.
|
802.161 | | DDIF::RUST | | Fri Jul 10 1992 22:59 | 17 |
| Re .157: Some interesting points. The part about the cold-bloodedness
of a woman who gets an abortion particularly struck me, especially when
you compared it to traits useful in combat. What a fascinating
comparison; after all, a woman who chooses to abort so that she can
continue to support her already-born children isn't doing anything much
different than an officer who sacrifices one of his detachments to save
the rest, is she?
Not all such decisions are cold-blooded, of course. Oh, I'm sure some
of them are - women are quite capable of cold-bloodedness - but a good
many of them are not cold-blooded at all. Some such decisions are made
in total panic, in desperation, in fear. [Could it be that some combat
decisions are made in similar states of mind?] Others are made with
great difficulty, after long and serious thought, and at no little
emotional cost...
-b
|
802.162 | | VMSSPT::NICHOLS | it ain't easy; being green | Sat Jul 11 1992 17:46 | 8 |
| A question for feminists.
Why might (some) feminists find it useful to participate in a Socratic
dialogue with somebody who has identified himself as a Devil's
Advocate?
(c.f. 802.143, 801.34)
herb
|
802.163 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Sun Jul 12 1992 03:24 | 21 |
|
-1 Herbert
> in a Socratic Dialogue
> with somebody who has identified himself as a Devil's Advocate
Well first off let me introduce myself. I am David Dyben. On occasion
I will play " Devils Advocate", but never ever do I claim to be the
" Devils Advocate".
> Why might ( some ) feminists find it useful to participate in
Maybe they hope to lead me from Plato's " Myth of the cave " to
the light above?
Maybe some of them find some good in it like Hobbes said?
" Of the voluntary acts of every man(woman)
the object is some good to himself(herself)".
David
|
802.164 | | SCHOOL::BOBBITT | ruthless compassion | Sun Jul 12 1992 14:04 | 38 |
|
re: women in combat
I think if anyone should go into combat, women should be included in
that group. However, if women are to go into combat, they should be
half of the decision-making power that chooses whether or not, or when,
to begin or continue combat.
> I spoke with Hom just yesterday. He said women are not on average
> as aggressive as men, are as large,hence why waste the resources trying
> to find those few women that might beat the odds. And besides men would
> have to be re-trained to eliminate there protective instincts(fight
> to save the women) in combat. All this would costy money and lives,why?
> So a few women can say " I slung a 16 with the best of them in Nam"?
Why should men protect women any more than they protect men - would men
need women to learn to protect them better? Who cares about aggressive
- women can probably be trained to be cold-hearted killers too if
necessary. Who needs to be large to push a button, or fly a jet?
> Why should I spend the money to afford the FEW women that would even
> want to.Hell the enemy doesn't give a d*mn if there fighting the
> most Ethically/Sexually balanced army. Dead is Dead. We need our best
> fighters with the best equipment. We do not need to divert our funds
> to enable a couple of displaced wanna be G.I. JANES into there ultimate
> fantasy world.
Look, if you don't want them fighting, that's your opinion. You asked
for feminist opinions, so I gave you mind. If you complain that women
*should* be in combat, and go on to list myriad reasons they shouldn't,
that's your mental tangle, not mine. If you then go on to state women
aren't in combat because they don't want to be, try thinking about what
would happen if a thousand men with decision-making capacity on this
are doing the exact same thought processes you are - making the
decision FOR women, then complaining that women don't want to go.
-Jody
|
802.165 | The last bastion. | COMET::DYBEN | | Sun Jul 12 1992 23:45 | 26 |
|
Jody,
> power to choose whether or not
Agreed!
Why would men be more protective of women? It's a cultural thing. I
know growing up my Dad and Mom used to say to me and my 5 brothers
" It's your job to protect your sisters". I am not saying that it was
right or wrong but it did create a since of " Woman are to be
protected, sheltered, etc,etc. With this is mind I THINK men would
have to be re-trained, that they must let a woman carry her own
weight. I don't know quite how to state it perfectly. It's not that
a woman is to fault, it's the men and their attitudes. Last night on
the news they interviewed fighter pilots and their trainers, some of
todays best pilots were trained by a woman. When a pilot(male) was
asked if he felt a woman should be allowed to take to the air in
combat he said " No, it would ruin the Esperit Decor (sp??). Why this
would ruin it is an interesting topic in itself. Is combat the last
bastion of manhood? Or the last bastion of sexist thinking?
Thanks for your input Jody,
David
|
802.166 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Sun Jul 12 1992 23:55 | 23 |
|
> who cares about aggressive
I suspect anyone who has been in combat( I have not) would care
about it. Perhaps there is someone out there who has been in combat
and can asnwer that from personal experience
> Women could be trained to be cold-blooded killers
Hence my point about MONEY. Men(on average, with many acceptions) are
more aggressive. Why? Testosterone? Culture?. As I think about this
question I imagine my kid sister Joan. She kicked my butt in sports
on a number of occasions! But when I think of her slinging a 16 and
maybe getting killed I just would rather leave it the way it is.No
women in combat. With my previous remarks about my parents request
to " Protect your sisters" I fully acknowledge this is probably a
sexist remark. But just the same I would rather she never went thru
it. Maybe like Sam Keen said in " The fire in the belly" " Men are
conditioned in ur society to think of themselves as the appropriate
choice for cannon fodder"( approximately).
David
|
802.167 | more liberal mush.. | TENAYA::RAH | toad lookalike | Mon Jul 13 1992 00:21 | 13 |
|
.164
if wimmin wish to lead and make decisions in this system of ours
they can qualify the same way myn do, by training hard and making
the cut.
being female is not a qualification in itself, just as being male
doesn't automatically qualify one for command.
automatically allocating roles on the basis of gender or race is
bigotry in action.
|
802.168 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Mon Jul 13 1992 10:02 | 14 |
|
-1,
> by training hard and making the cut
Well I hesitate to speak for the femininsts here,but,it seems kind
of obvious that if the rules are set to flunk you no matter how good
you are, because your a woman,there is no way you can make that kind
of a cut??
David
|
802.169 | | BSS::P_BADOVINAC | | Mon Jul 13 1992 10:56 | 53 |
|
Since 'Women in Combat' is becoming an old argument I ressurected
and old note:
<<< IKE22::NOTE$:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES-V3.NOTE;1 >>>
-< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 669.8 NOW VP wants women in combat 8 of 144
COOKIE::BADOVINAC 23 lines 24-JAN-1991 15:12
-< I disagree >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Molly Yard and other members of NOW have had many profound things to
say. For the most part I support them. Women in combat is not an area
I agree with them. I spent a year in Viet Nam and would not wish the
combat experiene on ANYONE. Military personell are exploited in ways
too numerous to mention. To view combat as a 'career enhancing
experience' is just so ludicrous. In Viet Nam I had three friends die
in my arms and I wasn't a Medic or Corpman. I flipped out and tried to
push one of my friends intestines back in his body. It's a scene that
took me years to balance out. The sight of the blood and steam mixed
with the mud, leaves and organs will be with me forever. The point is
that we have to find a better way to settle our differences. We have
to find a way to get men OUT of combat, not women IN.
The other assumption is that women in the drivers seat would make
better decisions than men. I see no evidence of this. Margaret
Thatcher's invasion of the Falklands seems just as fascist as George
Bush's invasion of Panama and our current involvement in the Middle
East. Golda Meir had the same rascist attitudes toward Arabs as
Yitzach Shamir.
While I feel strongly that women need much more representation in all
branches of government, I see no evidence that simply because they are
women they will do a better job.
***********************************************************************
As an update:
RE: Women don't need to be big and strong to be combat jet jockeys.
While this is true, the majority of combat veterns were grunt
soldiers not pilots. For every combat pilot there are tens of
thousands of grunt troops.
RE: The other argument I have heard is that an M16 is a very light
weapon and so size and strength is umimportant.
This is also true but it shows a very uninformed position because
people who make this statement have never carried the AMMO for an
M16.
patrick
|
802.170 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Mon Jul 13 1992 11:23 | 5 |
| .168
In combat, there is no Politically Correct. If you do not meet the
needed roster, your dead. Very simple requirement. Making the cut in
basic training will keep us all from attending another funeral.
|
802.171 | | TENAYA::RAH | toad lookalike | Mon Jul 13 1992 18:54 | 2 |
|
its more important to be PC even if it gets people killed.
|
802.172 | | COMET::DYBEN | | Tue Jul 14 1992 00:46 | 7 |
|
-1-2
So if they make the cut you would accept them in combat?
David
|
802.173 | | FSOA::DARCH | Slip brains through slot in door | Tue Jul 14 1992 09:11 | 16 |
| Mr. Dyben gets the prize...I was hoping someone would see past all the
tangental issues like size and personality, and get to the fundamental
reason why we will not (and in fact, *should* not) see women on the
front lines of combat today: Society itself!
Maybe 500 years from now on the Starship Enterprise or Ripley's spaceship
there'll be co-ed troops fighting the aliens, but in this society
there's no way we'll see women in the trenches fighting, sleeping,
living and dying alongside male soldiers (for a variety of reasons...
including those graphically expressed by Patrick B).
Do I think gender-based discrimination is right? No. But it's reality.
And I don't realistically see it changing in the foreseeable future.
Of course, being of the basically pacifist persuasion, I concur with
the ideal of getting all people OUT of war altogether.
|
802.174 | .172 I would not have a problem with that. | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Tue Jul 14 1992 11:52 | 1 |
|
|