Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    
    I think a great deal of the men who wind up as househusbands have lost
    their jobs, or are out of work.  I find that since men have often been
    raised on the concept of "you will be the breadwinner", that if they
    lose this portion of their identity (their job), they are often
    depressed or feel unfulfilled (there are always many exceptions to
    every rule, though).  If they look on househusbanding as something that
    is unfulfilling, it often will be.  and if househusbanding is a far
    second to a career outside the home, that leads to disappointment and
    disgruntlement.
    
    If the man decides, freely and away from circumstance or crisis, to
    become a househusband, I have a feeling it can work.  Commitment to any
    job is key to success and fulfillment.  Howeve,r there will often be
    the requisite taunting from outsiders that anyone gets when they strive
    for the nontraditional.
    
    -Jody
    

    As a man who bears primary responsibility for running a household and
    raising 3 children, I have always contended that men who express vague
    regret at not having the chance to take on that role are kidding
    themselves. Aside from the cultural training that gave them no such
    skills, and taught them to devalue this type of work, most men are no more
    likely than their newly freed female mates to give up jobs and income
    and "respect" for dishes and diapers and kids.
    
    This is especially true for well-educated, economically comfortable men
    and women. The irony is that it is these very people who most often
    express an interest in the role changes, even though it is the lower
    paid, less educated men and women who would find the most gains in
    satisfaction if they gave up the checkout counter and the loading dock
    job for the work of the home.  
    
    Of course, with the 20 year decline in the standard of living in the
    US, any family lucky enough to have the checkout job and the loading
    dock job (to keep them even with the single earner of a previous
    generation) hangs on for dear life.
    
    A mess all around.
    
    Kit 

    Welp.... I know a man..... He followed his ex, cared for the child, and
    lost custody.... I donno. The two sided blade that cuts deep only one
    way.

    Find me a woman that will let me stay home and take care of
    the kids and I won't care if others respect me.
    
    
    			-Jim-

    The main advantage in being a housewife is that you can socialise with
    other housewives in the area without raising suspicions and this  
    substitutes for social interaction that occurs at work.
    
    Unless a man is lucky enough to live in an area where there are other
    househusbands (VERY unlikely here in Ireland) he will be isolated.
    Society has not yet learned to accept a man socialising with another
    housewife while the husband is away..........
    
    I used to work door to door collecting accounts before I joined here
    and met a few of them, they were VERY lonely people.
    The housewives I met were, on the whole, much less lonely or isolated.
    Their role was after all accepted and accommodated by society.
    
    Until society learns to accept platonic relations between men and women
    in the absense of their spouses this is unlikely to change.
    Alternatively a large increase in the number of househusbands would  
    also solve the problem.
    
    

    >Society has not yet learned to accept a man socialising with another
    >housewife while the husband is away..........
    
    I don't think that is quite so true in the US.  
    
    					- Vick

 <snicker>

    re .5, or it could be a unique opportunity to have some affairs....
    
    (I'd like to meet a lonely, Irish, househusband who looked like
    Bono...)  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    I'm Irish, and I supose I could buy a leather vest... ;^)

    Re: .8
    
    Isn't Sonny a bit old for you, Lorna?
    
    			Steve

    re .9, Mike, you'd also have to have shoulder length hair and radical
    liberal views to pass for Bono...oh, yeah, and sing, too! :-)
    
    re .8, get with the program, Steve, you know I mean Paul Hewson, lead
    singer of U2, (the greatest rock band on earth), and *not* Chastity's
    daddy.  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    and commercials showing "caring" moms with their children eating "good
    for you" cereal and moms in grocery stores with their kids.  There
    ought to be more dads in these "caring" commercials.  
    
    cindy

I saw one such ad - the kids were all anxious about what Dad would make
for dinner, and were greatly relieved when he announced he was taking them
to Friendly's (a restaurant chain.)  I was so incensed that I didn't set foot
in a Friendly's for over a year afterward.

In TV ads today, fathers are almost universally shown as being incompetent
caregivers who need to be rescued by women.  I suppose it's a turnabout from
the 60s when women had to be "rescued" by know-it-all men so that they could
have clean houses and clothes, but I don't think we've actually advanced any.

					Steve

    re .14, I agree that the ad was sexist, but don't feel that anything
    could inspire me to go a whole year without eating a Friendly's banana
    royal!
    
    Lorna
    

Re: .15

If I got the urge for something like that, I'd go visit Kimball's.

Anyway, we had an earlier discussion in this conference on ads which 
denigrated men.

				Steve

    Re: at-home father socializing with at-home mothers.  I never found it
    a problem when I was home, in periods of a few months to a few years
    for 3 kids (I still work part-time). 
    
    If anything, I wasn't that interested in shoe-horning it in to a very
    busy schedule, even though I had plenty of female friends who I enjoyed
    visiting.
    
    It always struck me as odd that there were people out there who even
    *thought* of the <snicker> variety of thoughts. But fools are easily
    dismissed in my book.
    
    But, speaking of such socializing: funniest reaction was when my sister
    and I took our two eldest to a museum. Patron to us: "Are they twins?".
    Us : "No, they're six week apart".  Very weird backward glance from
    retreating patron.
    
    Kit