T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
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710.1 | it was nothing special, IMO | DELNI::STHILAIRE | rings, cats & men | Thu Jan 02 1992 09:13 | 19 |
| I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago and I was repulsed to see a
family spend $125K just on one *day* (approx. cost of the wedding in
the movie), at a time when the country is in the midst of a recession,
people are losing their jobs, can't sell their homes for the amount
they originally paid, and homelessness is increasing in alarming
proportions, esp. mothers and children. (I saw a baglady, mid-40's, in
Shrewsbury yesterday! Used to have to go to Boston or Cambridge to see
them.)
I think Steve Martin is appealing and that Diane Keaton is a good
actress, but I found the movie superficial and only moderately funny
and not touching at all really.
I never could understand the allure of spending a fortune on one day,
just for a wedding. It seems such a waste and they're usually as
boring as hell anyway - weddings and receptions.
Lorna
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710.2 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Thu Jan 02 1992 10:04 | 5 |
| You should see the original Vincente Minelli version starring
Cary Grant and Elizabeth Taylor. (As well as the sequel, "Father's
Little Dividend." Probably much better than the remake.
STeve
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710.3 | Yeah, and you Probably won't need to moderate this file during 1992... | SOLVIT::SOULE | Pursuing Synergy... | Thu Jan 02 1992 11:06 | 6 |
| .2> Probably much better than the remake.
Hope you can go see this remake with an open mind. Spencer Tracy is one
of my favorites but Steve Martin seems to have found a vehicle ("Parenthood"
and "Father of the Bride") for his type of talent. At any rate I will be
looking forward to your comments after you have seen the film.
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710.4 | MOVIES CONFERENCE RECOMMENDATION | HSOMAI::BUSTAMANTE | | Thu Jan 02 1992 12:35 | 2 |
| There's a Notes conference called "Movies" where this subject would be
welcome.
|
710.5 | | STARCH::WHALEN | Vague clouds of electrons tunneling through computer circuits and bouncing off of satelites. | Thu Jan 02 1992 13:01 | 11 |
| re .1
> I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago and I was repulsed to see a
> family spend $125K just on one *day* (approx. cost of the wedding in
> the movie), at a time when the country is in the midst of a recession,
I haven't seen the movie, but some people wpuld consider spending that kind
of money (if you have it) to be pumping up the economy. Though I do agree that
it is excessive.
Rich
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710.6 | | SOLVIT::SOULE | Pursuing Synergy... | Thu Jan 02 1992 13:50 | 14 |
| .4> There's a Notes conference called "Movies" where this subject would be
.4> welcome.
I don't really want a "Movies" type of discussion as much as I want a "Mennotes"
type, hence, I posted and tried to word the note as so... As Lorna stated in
her reply, she was not impressed with the decadence of values (pardon my
interpretation) that was portrayed and didn't see this comedy as being very
funny except for (perhaps) certain parts. In my case, I could see myself
identifying with some of the things the Steve Martin character was going
through and would bet other men would as well (especially those men with
daughters on the verge of being married). So BUSTAMANTE, are you gonna take
a chance and see the movie so that you may discuss this in Mennotes? You only
risk being entertained or offended which is what you get from Mennotes, anyway!
Hey, if you do see the movie you may even learn something about yourself...
|
710.7 | | R2ME2::BENNISON | Victor L. Bennison DTN 381-2156 ZK2-3/R56 | Thu Jan 02 1992 14:10 | 5 |
| I haven't seen it, but my daughter did and said that she didn't like it
but that I would because I'd agree with everything the father said.
Not having seen it yet I couldn't defend myself on that charge.
- Vick
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710.8 | 10 yr old boy likes it | AIAG::NEILP | | Thu Jan 02 1992 19:37 | 5 |
| My 10 year old son saw it with his Mom, and he liked it a lot -- so much so
that he wants to see it again with me. Our daughters 14 and 17 chose not to
see it.
Neil
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710.9 | nothing to do with "men" in particular... | CURRNT::ALFORD | An elephant is a mouse with an operating system | Tue Jan 07 1992 07:10 | 13 |
|
> I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago and I was repulsed to see a
> family spend $125K just on one *day*
Oh, I don't know....assuming that this money was not borrowed...I'd have
thought that this was a fairly reasonable - drastic/excessive maybe - way
of re-distributing wealth in the community.
Everyone has the right to choose what he/she spends his/her money on, granted
he/she could/should expect to be able to handle the torpedoes if they choose
to spend on socially unpopular things/causes.
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710.10 | | DELNI::STHILAIRE | that squealin' feelin' | Tue Jan 07 1992 08:30 | 13 |
| re .9, yes, everyone has a right to spend their money on whatever they
want, and I have a right to criticize it, which is what I did.
I really don't see how the wedding spread the wealth around all that
much. It didn't give jobs to all the people recently layed off from
hi-tech companies, it didn't give jobs to layed off assembly workers.
All it did was give a few more bucks to a ditsy, already well-off,
wedding planner (Martin SHort's character), a florist, a caterer, and
whoever sells wedding gowns. Big deal. I don't see where much of the
economy is made better off by that.
Lorna
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710.11 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Tue Jan 07 1992 11:36 | 1 |
| What about the waitrons, kitchen help, garment workers, etc.?
|
710.12 | | R2ME2::BENNISON | Victor L. Bennison DTN 381-2156 ZK2-3/R56 | Tue Jan 07 1992 13:00 | 4 |
| And whoever makes the bucks, has bucks to spend, further pumping
money into the economy. I don't know. I have mixed emotions about
it.
- Vick
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710.13 | | DELNI::STHILAIRE | that squealin' feelin' | Tue Jan 07 1992 16:36 | 16 |
| re .11, .12, but the point is that, regardless of whether or not the
economy is helped when one person spends $125K on a wedding, it just
felt wrong to me to see so much money spent in such a frivolous way, at
a time when so many people and causes in our society (shelters and food
for the homeless, AIDS research, whatever) could use that amount of
money to do good. .0 asked for people's responses to the movie, and
that was my main response. Of course, it goes along with the fact that
I have always considered expensive weddings to be a waste of money,
anyway, and wouldn't care about having one myself. I honestly think,
though, that had I that amount of money to spend on one day, I would
not feel right about spending it on what is basically a party, not when
so many in our society are going without so much right now. This is
just my personal choice and my personal response to the movie.
Lorna
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710.14 | | TENAYA::RAH | Robert Holt | Tue Jan 07 1992 22:17 | 4 |
|
its great to see that people can still party hearty when appropriate.
ZZ
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710.15 | | DELNI::STHILAIRE | that squealin' feelin' | Wed Jan 08 1992 08:44 | 9 |
| re .14, since when did spending a lot of money mean that people were
able to party hearty? (people should be able to party hearty with a
couple of beers & a joint)
Also, it's a matter of opinion as to whether a wedding is the
appropriate time to party hearty. :-)
Lorna
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710.16 | reply to Lorna | TNPUBS::STEINHART | | Tue Jan 14 1992 16:07 | 50 |
| Lorna,
Hope I'm not being impudent or anything, but. Are you just saying that
YOU wouldn't blow a wad on a wedding, or are you saying that OTHER
people shouldn't do so?
If YOU wouldn't do so, that's your business. It's your life, your
money, your marriage, your choice to give to charity (an admirable
intention, btw).
If you are saying OTHER people are wrong to do so, then follow through
your logic. What if others blow a wad on an expensive vacation? What
if others buy an expensive ball gown and wear it once? What if others
buy a case of Champagne and drink it in one night with their friends?
Are all these things wrong, too?
What do all these splurges have in common?
- Pleasure
- Big money goes fast
- (possibly) ostentatious
Now try these examples: Others spend $2000 on a living room couch
upholstered in white silk? Others buy a luxury car?
What do these examples have in common?
- Pleasure
- Big money goes more slowly
- (probably) ostentatious
Now. What if others sock away all their $$ and there's enough to
retire in style, with plenty left over for inheritance? It's:
- Pleasure
- Big money goes very slowly
- Delayed gratification
- (possibly) ostentatious?
- Taking care of others
What I'm asking is, what exactly is the problem with big weddings?
I just don't understand where you are coming from. I would like to
understand your logic and see how it applies to other situations.
Lots of people would reason that its their money to spend as they
please. They may be generous charity donors as well. Having a big
wedding and giving to charity are not mutually exclusive, by the way.
Please explain. Thanks.
Laura
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710.17 | | WASTED::tomg | My paradigm is broken | Tue Jan 14 1992 16:29 | 12 |
|
IMO, money spent on a big wedding could be better used to give
the newlyweds a little "starting out" nest egg. That 10 (or more
grand) spend could make a nice little down payment on a house,
for example.
Having a nice wedding doesn't mean you have to spend big bucks.
Just my 2c worth.
-Tom
(Who didn't have a big wedding...)
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710.18 | | FMNIST::olson | Doug Olson, ISVG West, Mtn View CA | Tue Jan 14 1992 18:45 | 4 |
| Laura, ask Lorna about blowing a wad on antique jewelry, to see if it's
justifiable. (Sorry, Lorna, just teasing ;-).
DougO
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710.19 | | DELNI::STHILAIRE | Food, Shelter & Diamonds | Wed Jan 15 1992 11:15 | 25 |
| re .18, yeah, Doug, like I've ever spent $125K on antique jewelry!!!
And, the only reason I ever would, would be if it was for merchandise
to resell in an antique store, if I had one. You *better* be only
teasing! :-)
re .17, I agree with Tom.
re .Laura, I don't understand what I'm expected to explain. As I
stated I think it's a waste of money to spend $125K on one day, on a
wedding. It's my opinion and if I had the money I would feel that I
should use it in a way that I would consider to be more responsible.
That's what I said and that's what I meant.
What I think other people should do seems irrelevant since they aren't
going to do what I say anyway. However, that doesn't mean that can't
have an opinion of what they do. I can have an opinion about anything
I want to have an opinion about.
I don't think that spending $125K on a wedding is comparable to
spending it on a car (altho it would be quite a car), or on a trip.
Cars and trips last longer than weddings, and trips are educational and
help people grow and learn.
Lorna
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710.20 | | CRONIC::SCHULER | Build a bridge and get over it. | Wed Jan 15 1992 15:52 | 3 |
| Hmmm... the memories of a $125K wedding would last a long time...
|
710.21 | | GOOEY::RUST | | Wed Jan 15 1992 16:06 | 20 |
| Now, wait a minute. The movie's supposed to be a comedy, right? So what
could be funnier than a society that half-hoodwinks, half-blackmails
people into believing that spending that kind of money on a one-day
affair will (a) make it The Most Wonderful Day Of Their Lives, and (b)
have anything at all to do with the significance and sincerity of the
marriage vows? ;-)
[Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, suggests that the purpose of
elaborate wedding rituals is to serve as a trial by ordeal for the
betrothed pair and their families. If everybody can get through it
without causing permanent rifts, the marriage should be a success.]
I'm not into Hollywood or Royal Victorian weddings, myself, but if
somebody wants one and can afford it, they should go for it. [I'll admit
that I cringe when I hear some young thing carrying on about the
incredibly costly affair that she's sure she can convince her
parents to finance; I'm inclined to think that nobody should get
married if they can't afford to pay for it themselves!]
-b
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710.22 | | WLDBIL::KILGORE | DCU Elections -- Vote for a change... | Wed Jan 15 1992 16:14 | 3 |
|
...just keep repeating: It's only a movie... Its only a movie... It's...
|
710.24 | | CRONIC::SCHULER | Build a bridge and get over it. | Thu Jan 16 1992 10:36 | 6 |
| Well I'm not looking for them myself, Mike......but if I happen
to run into any I'll let you know...
/Greg
PS - glad to see you back in notes
|
710.25 | Got a lump in my throat | VINO::MACNEIL | | Tue Jan 21 1992 12:34 | 31 |
|
I saw Father of the Bride out in Leominster Saturday night. I
laughed a lot at the interplay between Matin Short as the
extravagant and artistic wedding planner and Steve Martin
as the would-be frugal customer.
I also found the movie brought out lots of emotion. I think it
would for anyone who's had the satisfactions of having a
daughter, such as hearing that burp come up after bottle-feeding
her as an infant or, years later, watching her nervously but
successfully follow the instructions during her driver's license
road test. I don't know many experiences in life that can
give one the feelings of being loved and needed, useful and
important more than having a little daughter. Steve
Martin's character grudgingly accepts the end of that role in
his daughter's life.
On the other hand, I don't know if a teenaged girl would enjoy
this movie because it's pretty sentimental and I think most
teenagers enjoy looking forward more than looking back.
On the issue of the cost of the wedding, I felt that the
movie was making a little ironic humor out of the Father
having to pay dearly for the wedding ( the end of his
daughter's childhood) which he didn't want in the first place.
The higher the price, the higher the irony. [My own
preference regarding wedding cost would be for the cap in
political campaign contributions be extended to cover
weddings.]
J.
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