| Title: | Topics Pertaining to Men |
| Notice: | Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES |
| Moderator: | QUARK::LIONEL |
| Created: | Fri Nov 07 1986 |
| Last Modified: | Tue Jan 26 1993 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 867 |
| Total number of notes: | 32923 |
Power Struggling
My ex and I was married for 10 yrs and just got divorced 4 mos ago.
I had been in vain trying in every angle to solve and save the
marriage. Nothing has worked out. We had visited 2 different couple
therapists to iron out the differences. The major problem was being
addressed as Power Struggle. The concept of using Give and Take method,
I don't find that my ex has used it. It has to be all hers or else. I
gave in so many times to a point that I just had it. It runs in her
family and from the time that I have known her till now, she has not
changed.
The question is how would other husband manages to deal with this
issue? Just give in at all time and be a follower!
I need a life to spare,
D-
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 656.1 | I guess levels are different - but I've seen a bit of it. | RDGENG::SJONES | Communication? Tell me about it! | Tue Oct 08 1991 07:09 | 19 |
I guess as you've both been for councelling, that she has admitted to
the problem. Does this "power struggle" relate to all areas of your
relationship or to specific areas? It may well be that if it affects
one area and that area is a very important part, then it seems to spill
over into the whole relationship.
I feel that I have a similar problem, but mine seems to be specific to
the childrens needs, wellfare etc. Because this is obviously a large
part of our lives, it seems to affect everything. Without being in the
relationship, you cannot understand all aspects of things that may
affect the area of "power struggle", but there are other areas in my
relationship that have probably fueled this to a certyain extent. I
feel now, that I should have been a lot stronger in my convictions way
back when and not been to worried about rocking the boat, because now,
as you have found, the boat doesn't just rock, but throws its occupants
overboard.
Steve
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