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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

552.0. "Idle time/coping" by OTIGER::R_CURTIS (There is madness to my method..) Wed Jan 16 1991 09:23

    I was wondering about this...which I'm addressing to people who happen
    to live alone, for whatever reason.
    
    Say it's a Friday night or weekend, and you wind up with nothing to do
    after work, no great public social events going on, your friends are
    out doing 'other things'......what do you do to pass the time/stay
    sane/occupy your mind/avoid wallowing in self-pity/being bored ?
    
    Also, what about weekday evenings ? What constructive things fill in
    those times when nothing much is going on ?
    
    I myself used to be very involved in a local social club, where I was
    involved in planning and carrying out activities on a month to month
    basis. I have been much less involved the past few years, and I have
    looked for alternatives, but sometimes, there isn't much going on, or I
    have less desire to just get up and go to a movie or something.
    
    Any thoughts on this..??
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552.1ESIS::GALLUPSwish, swish.....splat!Wed Jan 16 1991 09:5921
    
    
    I fill my idle time up with working out.  For me, being healthy and in
    shape is very important, plus, when I see results (I've lost a TOTAL of
    20lbs from my highest weight) it helps me to feel good about who/what I
    am.   When I'm a member of a health club, I can recognize my idle time
    and fill it on the fly.....it's not something I have to plan to do
    every evening.  
    
    I'm not the kind of person that can sit around watching tv and feel
    good about myself (sometimes tv seems so mindless to me).  So, I fill
    my time with something that helps me feel good! 
    
    Sometimes, if it's not the club, it's treating myself to a movie, or
    reading a book, or even just taking a hot bath and relaxing.  
    
    I look at my idle time as being therapy time for ME.....playing
    the "optimist" with that time, instead of the pessimist really makes me
    feel a lot better about myself.
    
    kath
552.2YUPPY::DAVIESAPassion and DirectionWed Jan 16 1991 10:1721
    
    What with exercising and chores, I don't seem to get as much time off
    as I'd like.
    
    My main occupations are reading, listening to music on my new hi-fi
    (often whilst reading), chatting with friends on the phone or going
    out for a drink/meal....
    
    I don't have dozens of friends. I find that half a dozen mates
    circulate quite comfortably through two weeks or so. I try to alternate
    one evening "in" with one "out". And then there's always the shopping,
    washing, cooking and running to do.
    
    Weekends? Usually spent with a partner, if I have one. If not, I often
    make things (clothes, furnishings), or go to somewhere I've always
    meant to visit. Or do some charity work. I also shop (gets expensive
    though!), laze around, see my family and get an extra-long gym workout
    fitted in. And then spoil myself in the steam-room.
    
    'gail
    
552.4Lots of different things...FTMUDG::REINBOLDWed Jan 16 1991 14:0119
    This is something I'm working on right now.  I have children, but
    they're not small anymore.  They're company, but not adult company,
    which is what I crave since my husband moved out.
    
    What I've done in the 2 weeks since he left: Joined a health club
    (the whirlpool is great for relaxing late at night), started attending 
    DPMA meetings (combines social and professional), have schedules for
    attending other meetings such as photography clubs and the historical
    society. One night I was going stir-crazy, and went out to shoot pool
    at a local bar -- something I haven't done in 6 years -- and I'm not
    a "bar person" anymore.  I actually walked up to a kid I didn't know
    and asked him if he'd like to play pool.  We actually had a good time
    and a couple drinks, and won a couple games (he's a *good* player!).
    
    I still need more time for me, to just sit and think about things, and
    what I want to do now.  Seems like there aren't enough hours in the
    day.
    
    Paula
552.5wish I had timeBROKE::FEBONIOWed Jan 16 1991 14:2734
    Boy, I wish I had idle time.  Whenever I make time, I only end up
    feeling guilty for not doing the 101 things I should be doing.  But
    if I did, I'd
    
    go to a museum
    go to the movies
    
    Volunteer efforts always have the effect of making you really
    appreciate your own life.  
    
    volunteer at the local orphanage
      "  "    "  "    " "  soup kitchen
      "  "    "  "    " "  women's shelter
      "  "    "  "    " "  half way house
    become a Big Sister
    
    read a good book
    work out 
    take a walk
    clean out that closet I keep saying I need to clean out
    organize my recipe drawer
    sort my clothes and make a pile for the Salvation Army
    start a quilt (or in my case, finish a quilt)
    visit my grandfather more often        
    clean something out of the ordinary (i.e. under the refrigerator)
    plant some flowers
    make some planters for inside of the house
    start painting again
    write a letter to a long lost relative
    go to a travel agent to look into possibities for next years vaca
    go to the library
    go to church
    ask a a lonely neighbor over for coffee and cards
    write a story
552.6Is there anything you've always wanted to do?NETMAN::BASTIONFix the mistake, not the blameWed Jan 16 1991 15:1313
    I use free time to do something I've always wanted to do.  One year it
    was quilting, last year it was tap dancing.  Some days it's driving
    down a road that I go by all the time, just to see what's there.
    
    I'm trying to get better at writing letters and reading books,
    something I used to do often.
    
    Sometimes I just enjoy the peace and quiet at home.  There are times
    when it feels good to just stop!
    
    
    Judi
    
552.7relaxing and sozzled....KIRKTN::KANDERSONmake luv not 'WAR'Wed Jan 16 1991 15:403
    WELL,In my idle time i like to lie on the couch with a bottle of vodka
    and a large portion of barbacued spare ribs,watching the television and 
    later on play my music full blast.
552.8USWRSL::SHORTT_LATotal Eclipse of the HeartWed Jan 16 1991 18:559
    I read.
    
    And when I'm done I read.
    
    I used to manage a bookstore, so my collection of unread books is vast.
    
    
    
                                           L.J.
552.9BTOVT::BAGDY_MCan you say `Boom' ?Thu Jan 17 1991 06:5218
        Well.  .  .I  wish  I had MORE idle time than I actually do !
        
        Play pool at a friends house.    Play  Nintendo  at my house.
        Visit with my brother and his wife.    Play  in  a rock band.
        The only idle day I usually have is  on Sunday and even those
        have been busy lately.  
        
        What I was doing for a while (AUG 1989 - NOV 1990) was taking
        college courses every day of the week.  (Schedule was  set up
        for  ten  hours  of  college  a week taking two courses at  a
        time.) Between work,  college,  homework  and band, there was
        just enough time to sleep. 
        
        Now I cherish the  time  after  work when I was usually doing
        homework. :^)
        
        Matt
552.10Spare time??? Sleep of course!SENIOR::HAMBURGERWhittlers chip away at lifeFri Jan 18 1991 12:5224
I'm not single, and I think that was the original question, but I have 
always been happy/easy to please/keep busy by myself, with or without hte 
family around.

Hobbies....Photography (limited since I don't have a darkroom to print)
.....Model Railroading, very detailed, can take hours to accomplish a 
    	finely detailed model that is only a small part of the entire scene.
.....Woodcarving/woodworking, never enough time/space/tools/money for 
    	everything I want to do. 
.....reading, working on the house, all the chores/duties that go with 
    	family and home.
.....Volunteer work. I will be working with the local Habitant for Humanity 
    	project this year as they build a duplex house in my town. Last year 
    	I spent a week with my daughter (15) in Appalachia helping repair 
    	houses for folks who can't afford or have the skills to do it 
    	themselves. Very rewarding time while doing somehting very 
    	different from the usual work.
.....Spare time??????what's that?

    	Vic
PS: Interesting to note, without a formal count, most of the respondees to 
this note have been the ladies.....Without going down a rathole, I wonder 
why.....
552.11No grass growing under these feet..CSC32::GORTMAKERAlas, babylon...Sat Jan 19 1991 22:455
    Idle time? Whats that? I hit the floor running every morning and fall
    into bed each night. Oh, Idle time.. You mean what happens when I stop
    at a red light and the engine slows down.
    
    -j
552.12CensoredBHUNA::GMITCHELLGraeme fae CautherSat Jan 19 1991 23:178
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552.13Learn to juggle...FORTY2::BOYESThe Enigma: BRA OR POND ?Mon Jan 21 1991 03:521
...thats what i did.
552.14PASTIS::MONAHANhumanity is a trojan horseSat Jan 26 1991 05:1615
    	The worst time is when you are in a hotel in a foreign country. You
    have done a day's work in the local DEC office, or on a customer site
    assisted by a DEC employee that is almost bilingual, and then at 5:30
    you are back at your hotel, and you will be picked up at 8:30 the next
    morning.
    
    	The bar tender understands "gin and tonic" since that is
    international, and you have been careful during the day to learn how to
    pronounce the local word for beer. Television shows almost nothing that
    is not in the local language, and even if you can make out the local
    language how interested are you in the tactics for the election of the
    mayor of Lisbon or Helsinki?
    
    	You can probably manage to sleep 8 of the 15 hours if you get drunk
    enough. Now plan how to use the other 7 hours.
552.15USWS::HOLTATD Group, Palo AltoSat Jan 26 1991 12:165
    
    Go for a walk in town.
    
    See the sights.
    
552.16CRISPY::BAKERTToo HOT to handle,too COOL to be BLUESun Jan 27 1991 14:121
    If you are a female this may not be to good an idea though !
552.17PASTIS::MONAHANhumanity is a trojan horseMon Jan 28 1991 02:1810
    	Maybe I should have mentioned that in both Lisbon and Helsinki it
    was raining hard.
    
    	In Lisbon the hotel was next to the DEC office in an industrial
    estate, with 5 miles of slums between there and the city centre.
    
    	In Helsinki, the hotel was in the city centre, but the rain was
    freezing as soon as it hit the pavements.
    
    	I hate business trips.
552.18EVETPU::RUSTMon Jan 28 1991 10:348
    No problem - just start work on that novel/short-story/essay/review
    /whatever that you've been "planning on getting around to" for so
    long... [Well, *I* always have dozens of projects on my mental back
    burner, and I find that boring business trips are a great time to start
    making notes. Unfortunately for my future wealth and fame, I haven't
    been on enough long business trips to actually _finish_ any of them...]
    
    -b
552.19Hobbies that travel helpSENIOR::HAMBURGERWhittlers chip away at lifeMon Jan 28 1991 22:0616

I have not had to travel that much, and not abroad, but here is what I 
would do....

Any good Tom Clancy novel that I haven't read is good for 6-8 hours or 
until you can't keep your eyes open. (Your choice of novelists may vary)

I have seen woodcarvers with small whittling sets just for travel, as have 
I seen model builders with travel kits for long nights in hotel rooms. Do 
you have a hobby that is portable to some degree? How about starting one? 

Needlepoint is done by both men and women, small, compact and easy to 
travel.

    Vic
552.20HPSTEK::XIAIn my beginning is my end.Tue Jan 29 1991 02:035
    Beethoven, Beethoven; and yet still more Beethoven.  I forget it 
    in his early work, transcend it in his middle work, and be content 
    with it and look beyond in his late work.
    
    Eugene