Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    Larry,
    
    It's funny you should this mention this.  I just got the
    notice/invitation for my 15th year high school reunion.
    
    I know this is not possible!  I know I just graduated a couple of years
    ago!  (*8
    
    E Grace

    I think that "old" is different with every generation, and that we
    will be old differently than our parents are, and they are being
    old differently than their parents were.....
    
    Our parents generally got married and started families at a much
    younger age than the baby boom generation. They were the first
    "suburban" generation, as well. They were a different place
    in their lives than we are at the same age.
    
    The other idea is that our concept of what is old keeps getting
    revised upwards as we get older ourselves. At one time, I thought
    age 21 was real old.....
    
    -roger
    

I still wonder what I will do when I grow up I often have to remind myself
that I'm 31 because I sure don't feel 31!

-j

    To me age is only a state of mind.
    
    I'm the big 40 now, but feel like a kid.
    
    Bill

I think that so long as you have access to the child within you, you'll
never grow old.

Being free and single and open minded helps too.

Wendy
32, young, free and single.

I am 40, but feel very young.  Indian relaxation techniques keep me
fit.  Then Life begins at 40.

I tell my friends that I am 18 years old plus 22 years of experience.

girish

    I'm 36 but I feel like an overweight 16-year-old boy with bad
    knees. Then I forget something and wonder about the onset
    of Alzheimers. I don't know if I need to grow up or start
    training like a high-school athlete :-)

    Where "to feel responsible" fits into numbers? Because that is the
    way I always FELT.  I was very responsible when I was 15, and I was
    very responsible when I was 30, I still am very responsible when I went
    over the 40s.  I FEEL the same through all those years,  which "number"
    corresponds to my past and present state? I keep doing now most of the
    things I did when at fifteen and at 15, I did most of everything I do
    now (with the exception of sex, I wasn't married at 15th!)
    
    Which is my correct years? Where should I position myself? any
    suggestions?
    
    Ana

    I know at some level that I'm really 37 and that I'm an adult
    but I still think of myself as a kid. I don't recognize that balding
    guy in the mirror who is starting to look a lot like my father.
    
    The only time I feel more my age is when I'm with people 10-20
    years younger. So many of them seem like such kids. :-) I wasn't
    like that at their age was I?
    
    Things to do to feel young. I play with my son. All the same games
    I wished my father had had time to play with me. (He was a single
    parent of four so I can't blame him too much.) A kid who lets you
    play with them can do wonders for a guy.
    
    			Alfred

    I am turning 36 on Thursday and I sure don't feel like the "mature"
    "set-in-your-ways" type of 36-year-old that society expects me to be.   
    I feel free and independent and idealistic, much like a young man just 
    out of college.  (In fact, I was much more "mature" and straightlaced in
    high school!  What a waste! ;))  In many ways, we never really "grow up"
    and fit into this nebulous mold of "adult" that cultural expectations 
    impose on us.  I can still sometimes act as crazy and silly as I did 15
    years ago.  We all keep changing, and change is healthy.  My father
    used to assure me that, even after age 60, one still can change
    significantly.  He said, "I think about things I said and did only 5
    years ago, and realize 'Wow, was I a different person back then!'"
    Instead of worrying about "growing up" (or not growing up, as the case
    may be) we could welcome the child within, welcome the ongoing changes,
    and have a lot of fun in the process.
    
    Paul 

    
    	 0 -  40 = youth
    	41 -  80 = middle age
    	81 - 120 = old age
    
    	Subject to change when I hit 50.
    
    		-rjc-
    

    Bob: I couldn't agree more (although I know I'm fooling myself).
    
    Larry

    .12  At 47 I like your age groups Bob. Lets see if we can get everyone
    to agree to those age standards.  Jeff

    
    You're NEVER too old to have a HAPPY CHILDHOOD!
    

    Feeling that you're really younger than your age is probably pretty
    widespread (if not universal).  My mother (age 70) sometimes shakes her
    head and comments with a wry smile that inside she doesn't feel like an
    old lady.
    
    It's just that it's when you're in your 30's or 40's that you begin to
    notice the distance between your chonological age and the "you" that
    seems definitive.  It has little to do with your satisfaction with
    life, society's current view of what's right for your age, etc. At 43 I
    feel much more accomplished and confident, even more physically fit,
    than at 20, and yet I somehow use the me of that age as some sort of
    standard marker.  
    
    Is young adulthood always the benchmark when we have these thoughts?
    
    Kit

    For the past few months I've been hiding out, dreading my birthday
    (last friday) when I would turn 40.  It was really scary for me to
    face turning 40, alone in a new city, divorced, over the hill,
    single parent and all that stuff.
    
    So the big day came, and nothing happened!  I looked just the same
    as I did the day before.  Some friends sent me birthday mail, my
    brother called, and I flew off to St. Louis to compete in an
    Orienteering meet (Heartland Championships).  I saw my ex-boyfriend
    and his current SO, made peace with them and myself, and did my
    personal best in the competition.  I won my course (F35A) and have
    a ribbon and plaque that says "First Place 1990, Heartland
    Championships"!  I felt like an athlete, not like an old worn out
    over the hill divorce woman!  I don't know if loosing weight (and
    gaining it) is psychological, but I feel thinner and lighter and
    more in-tune with my body than ever!  
    
    I'm starting to feel that I can do ANYTHING!  Gee, if I would actually
    train for the next competition, just think how good I could be!  I
    suppose I'll hit reality in a few minutes...but for now, I know I
    don't look 40, and don't act 40, so 40 is just a relative age in
    the space/time continuum!  I used to think my 30's were the best
    years, but now I know the 40's will be even better!
    
    sherry
    
    best years

>    For the past few months I've been hiding out, dreading my birthday
>    (last friday) when I would turn 40.  It was really scary for me to
>    face turning 40, alone in a new city, divorced, over the hill,
>    single parent and all that stuff.
    
>    So the big day came, and nothing happened!  I looked just the same
>    as I did the day before.  
    
>    don't look 40, and don't act 40, so 40 is just a relative age in
>    the space/time continuum!  I used to think my 30's were the best
>    years, but now I know the 40's will be even better!
    
>    sherry
    
    Sherry,

    I hit 40 some time ago, 5+ years to be exact! I told a friend of mine 
recently (Who also happened to be named Sherry!) that I was surprised she 
was only 38, I told her I didn;t think anybody got as good as she was 
until they were 40! Personality, how you feel about yourself, and many 
other  things don't seem to come together until someone has lived a while!
Alone in a new city can be a problem, so can being a single parent and 
divorced, but over 40 and over the hill is just a state of mind! Sounds to 
me like you're doing just fine! Welcome to the best side of life!!!

    Vic H

    I'm not quite as young as I feel, but I fake it real well!
    
    -Jody
    

    Funny thing that I should come across this note today; last night
    I went out shopping and finally broke down and bought that 'above
    the knee skirt' I've been dying for.  My 39th b'day is in two weeks,
    and it's been really bothering me.  (Last year before the big 4 0!!!)
    Oh my God!  Mother of three teenagers and here I am buying 'younger'
    clothes.  (Attempt to lift my spirits I guess.)
    
    However, back to the skirt.  This afternoon I'm going to pick up my 19
    year old at college, and knowing how conservative I am, she will
    definitely have a comment.  I just hope its a positive one!  This
    is one mom who doesn't need a kick, I'm already down.
    
    I do feel much younger on the inside than what the calendar and
    mirror tell me.  When I look at my three teenagers, I wonder how
    they got to be my age so quickly!  I find myself absolutely desperate
    to try all the things in life I haven't had time or money to do
    yet.  I have an insatiable desire to travel, meet new people, and
    live new experiences.  
    
    I've only just begun . . . . 
    

    
    ummm.....am i as young as i feel......
    
    nope.
    
    this is a funny thing, too.  when i was younger, i was much more quite
    and reserved, and people thought of me as 'mature'.  now that i am
    a little bit older, i'm becoming more expressive.  i don't quite act
    my age...acting more impulsively than i used to.........
    

    never more apparent to me than now... after all this summer's
    activities.
    
    tony

    Larry,
           yes,I would agree that you're as young as you feel.Personally,my
    attitude has always been to treat my life as one long(hopefully god
    willing) exploration,with new experiences around every corner.I think
    that this has kept me feeling young inside,not bracketing myself with
    any firm agegroup,allowing myself to be open to new ideas,in short
    to have a philosophy that "life is for living!!"
    This may sound niave in today's world,but as I am only 32 yrs young,and
    have seen both my parents pass on,I feel that I am very much aware of
    my own mortality,and feel the need to "leave my mark" on this world
    in a benificial way.
    As such,I feel this attitude keeps me feeling young.I also think
    exposure to children can help.(although some would think it increases
    the ageing process!!!)
    
    regards
    
          sean
    

    Sean, I don't think your philosophy is naive.  In fact, it's
    refreshing to hear.  With the new year less than ten days away,
    and my 33rd birthday 17 days away (ouch!), I find myself taking
    measure of where I am as opposed to my fantasy of where I wanted
    to be.  They're still a few miles apart.  However, your words 
    helped remind to me of what's truly important; namely the the joy
    of discovery, enjoyment of the journey rather than fixation on the 
    destination, the unimporantce of numbers, the need to remain open.
    
    Many thoughts from such a short note but wha'dda want, it's a slow
    pre-holiday Friday.  Thanks for the emotional Christmas present.
    
    Allbest,
    LArry