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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

407.0. "Definition, please." by CLYPPR::FISHER (Pat Pending) Thu Jan 25 1990 07:42

At the risk of sounding silly, I'll admit my ignorance here.

There are certain elements of the vernacular which have different connotations
to different people.  I think it sometimes varies with the age in which we
grew up but it also varies with the localities in which we grew up.  Then
again some of us were more "sheltered" than others and just not exposed to the
terms in the same way.

In particular I am wondering at the terms "hit on" and "making a pass."  I've
heard them used in widely different contexts and I'm wondering whether there
is a specific definition or if the terms are vague.

Whenever I was close enough to the person using the term, I've asked for more
details and I found that "made a pass" has meant "he asked me to sleep with
him" (between casual non-dating acquaintances) or "he said we should have
drinks together sometime."  Now to me these two circumstances are totally
different so that when someone says "make a pass" I don't know whether it
means "crudely propositioned" or "asked for a date" or something else.

What do you think these terms mean?  I realize there are probably generational
differences.  Does "ask for a date" become "make a pass" if one of the
individuals is married and known by the other to be married?

ed
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407.1intentionTLE::RANDALLliving on another planetThu Jan 25 1990 09:1311
    Well, "make a pass" is generally vague, but it implies sex -- I
    usually take it to mean that one person did something that
    indicated clearly to the other person that s/he was initiating a
    relationship intended to culminate in having sex.  So it can cover
    everything from a crude proposition in a bar to an invitation to
    lunch if you think the person who invited you only has sex on
    his/her mind.
    
    I'm not as familiar with "hit on" -- it sounds a little cruder. 
    
    --bonnie
407.2Degree of acquaintanceFENNEL::GODINFEMINIST - and proud of it!Thu Jan 25 1990 09:209
    I agree with Bonnie's definition of "make a pass."
    
    To me, while "make a pass" generally happens between two people who
    have some level of acquaintance, "hit on" happens between relative
    strangers, as in a singles bar scene.  Other than that degree of
    acquaintance between the two individuals involved, the two phrases mean
    basically the same thing.
    
    Karen
407.3Subtle difference?TOOK::R_GRAYFollow the hawk, when it circles, ...Thu Jan 25 1990 11:5212

       When I have heard "hit on", the context sounded like s/he was
       trying to initiate something that would definitly end in sex.

       When I have heard "made a pass", the context sounded like s/he
       went over the line of expectation.  Ex: Casual friend asked for a
       date, a date wanted a kiss, etc.

       A subtle but distinct difference?

       Richard
407.5SSDEVO::GALLUPeverything that is right is wrong againThu Jan 25 1990 16:3516
>	In my circle of friends, you "hit on" a person by talking to
>    them, with the intention of continuing to something more than
>    conversation (not necessarily sex).
>
>    	You "make a pass" at someone when you become flirtatious and
>    suggestive.  The suggestions need not be about sex.



	 I agree with Mike.  His definitions are exactly how I define
	 them.  In my mind, neither necessarily have anything to do
	 with sex.


	 kath
407.6thanks.BANZAI::FISHERPat PendingThu Jan 25 1990 22:304
    Thanks all.  At least I know that I was right in not understanding the
    terms.
    
    ed
407.7I got a million of emNEADEV::THOMPSONAlways DreamingFri Jan 26 1990 08:395
    Making a pass is what Montanna and Elway will be doing this Sunday
    
    Hit on...  Is what the linemen will be be doing to Elway and Montana
    
    :-) 
407.8boy, some peopleTLE::RANDALLliving on another planetFri Jan 26 1990 09:243
    Gee, and after I so carefully refrained from making the same puns!
    
    --bonnie
407.9ooohBANZAI::FISHERPat PendingFri Jan 26 1990 10:435
    Montana and Elway hope their linemen will be doing some hitting on
    so they can make some passes before themselves being hit on.
    
    ugh,
    ed