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252.1 | Men and Racism and Oppression | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 12:37 | 134 |
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"...And the Maligning of the Male"
By Ishmael Reed
Reprinted without permission from "Life," Special Issue, Spring 1988
Being a black man in America is like being a spectator at your own
lynching. Everybody gets to make a speech about you but you; white
supremacists, feminists, conservatives, liberals, sociologists,
psychologists, demographers--all manner of experts, editorial writers and
columnists, many of whom seem to live in cozy places like Georgetown or
Palo Alto.
Every time you try to tell your story, you're interrupted or called
paranoid. As a black male writer, sometimes you have to be strident to get
your point across, to get somebodoy to pay attention. You feel like the man
yelling fire in a crowded theater. You just can't seem to get the gag off,
so you engage in what to society is muffled incoherency.
If people only knew the truth, they wouldn't prejudge you, you think. If
they only knew the statistics that puncture the lies that are cuicrculating
about black men, they wouldn't get you mixed up with the one percent with
whom the media are so thrilled--the bums and deadbeats. Every time you see
footage of a drug bust on TV you see black males. Yet the Drug Enforcement
Administration has said that a number of ethnic groups, including Orientals
and Israelis, are involved in drug trafficking. The news shows dont show
the Chinese gangs that now supply 40 percent of the heroin in New York.
As with the persecuted Jews in Germany, somebody is always trying to pin
the Star of David on your clothes, but in this country it's very
convenient. You wear the Star of David on your skin. Your style disturbs
people--Bernard Goetz says he shot the black teenagers on the subway
because he was threatened by their body language. Even the white
avant-garde shares this view. Norman Mailer's "white negro" in his infamous
essay of that title is an irresponsible psychpath who lives constantly on
the edge.
When Susan Brownmiller, in her money-makinging book on rape, "Against Our
Will," wrote that to foster his manhood the black man contributes to the
"specter of the black man as a rapist," she was indulging in group libel.
You know that the mojority of convicted rapists in the U.S. are white
males. At the university where you work, the student newspaper for several
years carried stories about black rapists, but then, thanks to the feminist
movement, it was revealed that the most frequent type of rape occurring on
campus was date rape--white fraternity guys who were refusing to take no
for an answer.
You don't live in a true pogrom, but if you are caught in a neighborhood
where you don't belong, you might be placed under surveillance or you might
be killed. You've read a number of accounts of professional black men
who've been taken for muggers. The Reverand Floyd Flake, a black
congressman whose district includes Howard Beach in New York City, went
into a store there and had a hard timme convincing some whites that not
only wasn't he a threat to them, he was actually their federal
representative.
In "The Washington Post," columnist Richard Cohen said that shopkeepers
were perfectly justified in denying all young black men entrance to their
stores on the basis of the actions of a few. So, when a local merchant
complained about the behavior of a particular black customer, you told him
that the next time all the black people in the world had a meeting, that
black man's conduct would the first item on the agenda.
Despite this daily slander, most black men hold down jobs, however menial,
and many have proved their loyalty to their country. During the first years
of the Vietnam war black men were 13 percent of the grunts but took a
quarter of the casualties. In today's Vietnam movies you don't see these
men or, if you do, they're dope-smoking buffoons.
On a television talk show in San Francisco you spoke of some of the
emotional land mines that a black man has to traverse each day. You cannot
really communicate what it feels like to look into your rearview mirror and
see a cop pull in behind you. It's the little hurts that build up. After
the show, black men came up on the street and shook your hand. They stopped
theirs cars on the freeway and yelled over to you. You had hit a nerve.
These are the crtoon images presented of black men: the criminal, the
athlete, the clown, the entertainer, the good nigger, the brute. (Harold
Ross, the first editor of "The New Yorker," seemed to sum it up for the
media when he said, "Coons are either funny or dangerious.") These images
create tension, literally. Black men suffer from high blood pressure, they
get strokes and cancer more often than whites. If you don't have a sense of
humor, you become a scowling time bomb, striking out at people who are dear
to you. James Baldwin told of how his father punished his family for the
humiliations he received each day at work in the white world. A lot of
black men, hating themselves, turn their aggression on one another in the
streets.
As a novelist and essayist, you believe that black kids should be exposed,
not only to you and your writing, but to black scientists, inventors,
engineers, architects, generals. How many children know that 5,000 black
men fought in the Revolutionary War, and how many are aware of the black
Indian fighters who helped conquer the West, and how many know about the
blacks who fought in the Civil War, those immortalized in Robert Lowell's
beautiful poem "For the Union Dead"?
How can the United States become a truly great society if it continues to
cling, like Linus to his blanket, to the racist idea that black men somehow
are at the root of all social problems? You proposed in a magazine article
that white men and black men should meet in a national conference to
discuss their differences and common interests, but nobody took you up on
the suggestion. It's almost as if they don't want the situation to change.
You think that Jimmy the Greek shouldn't have been fired by CBS for what he
said that the breeding of black athletes. You think he should have been
made to take a year's course in ethnic studies at some university instead.
Better still, there could be a College for Racists, maybe along the lines
of "re-education" camps North Vietnam set up for the defeated generals of
the South.
For all the wounds, for all of your humilation, it could be worse. You
could be a white man. You feel sorry for the good, decent and fair white
men in this society. While you might be associated with creepy crack
merchants, small-time hustlers and gold chain thieves, nobody is
associating you with perpetuators of genocide, or with the people who
created slavery and invented the Bomb. Crowds in world capitals aren't
shaking theirs fists at you and calling you the great Satan, nor are they
hanging you in effigy. When you suffer a setback in life, you can always
claim that it's because of racism, and most of the time you will probably
be right. What's a white man's excuse for failure? You used to joke that,
with all of the opportunities that white men have in this society, any one
of them who ended up less than President of the United States should be
considered a flop.
You don't have that kind of pressure. You hear ever day on the news that
the public will never elect a black President. Nobody expects you to be a
white savior, a James Bond, an Indiana Jones or Superman. Imagine how that
kind of pressures feels. Women and all the minorites in this country, not
just the blacks, seem to have the same grievances about white males,
lumping the good ones in with the bad with such epithets as "power
structure." You wonder how white men are able to withstand it. Maybe that's
why they're the group with the highest suicide rate. And so as a black man
you are beleaguered, but at least you're not Atlas, carrying the world on
your shoulders.
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252.2 | Lesbian/Gay/Bi Terminology | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 12:38 | 259 |
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Terminology
Sometimes it can be confusing to keep up with the
latest terms and phrases used by a group of people.
Many folks, in an attempt to avoid offending a
minority group, do not speak up because they are
aren't sure which terms are offensive to the minority
and which ones are not.
This write-up is an attempt to explain terminology
and phrases preferred by most of the people who design
and give the Recognizing and Understanding the Lesbian
/Gay/Bisexual Difference presentation. Nothing written
here is cast in concrete; it's open to debate (please
feel free to ask questions about terminology during
the presentation!). Hopefully, though, this write-up
will give you a "vocabulary" that can make you more
comfortable during the presentation.
Sexual Orientation
Many people in the lesbian/gay/bisexual communities
would like for people to use the words sexual
orientation instead of the words life-style or sexual
preference. Many believe that ones sexual orientation--
whether determined by birth, by upbringing, or
by both--is not a choice, but is a permanent part
of a human being. Many of us believe that sexual
orientation is part of "what one is" as opposed to
"what one does." We believe that we are emotionally
and sexually oriented towards members of the same
sex, that we follow our hearts and fall in love
with members of the same sex (with bisexuals being
attracted to both sexes equally).
We feel that the word preference implies a kind of
choice, someone "liking" something more than something
else. For instance, cola soda can be a preference.
If cola were no longer available, one might choose
orange soda and still be satisfied. The point that
many lesbian/gay/bisexual people make is that people
1
do not "choose" hetero-, homo-, or bisexuality like
they choose soft drinks. We feel that people follow
their hearts when it comes to sexuality, instead of
sampling men and women and then deciding which they
"prefer."
The Gay Community
First, there are three major communities involved:
the lesbian community, the gay-male community, and
the bisexual community. These three communities have
unique qualities, but they overlap in some areas. For
instance, a gay male might have very little idea what
goes on in the lesbian community, with the reverse
being true also.
These three communities are comprised of a series
of loosely networked organizations (softball teams,
professional organizations, bars, political groups,
health organizations, and so forth). The only thing
that members of the communities share is that they
are all predominantly oriented towards members of the
same sex (with bisexuals being oriented to both sexes
equally). There is no elected "president," there is
no overall controling structure, and all its members
do not share all the same values. The members of the
lesbian, gay, and bisexual communities do not and
cannot be expected to "act" one way or to follow one
political path. For instance, the Gay Republicans
(a political group) would be very different from
the Radical Faeries (a liberal, male, pagan group)
which in turn would be very different from Dignity (a
lesbian/gay/bisexual Catholic organization).
2
Lesbians and Gay Men and Bisexuals and...
Lesbian refers to homosexual women. Gay man refers
to homosexual men. Gays is considered somewhat rude
("Those gays!"), although lesbians and bisexuals are
courteous terms. Homosexual is used as an adjective
and not a noun. Lesbian and gay are used to describe
people. For instance: "A lesbian is a homosexual
woman." Straight is slang for "heterosexual,"
and is used primarily in the lesbian/gay/bisexual
communities.
Don't worry! You won't be quizzed on this stuff during
the presentation. :-)
Life-Style
Many lesbian/gay/bisexual people believe that there is
no such thing as a single lesbian and gay and bisexual
life-style. Many of us believe that there are many
life-styles in our communities, that life-style is
more a matter of employment, class, where one lives,
what one wears, what one eats, and what one does
for fun rather than ones sexual orientation. Sexual
orientation seems to cut across all life-styles.
For instance, if referring to a gay male "life-style,"
which one do you mean? For instance, do you mean the
rich, effeminate man who lives in the fancy part of
town, who wears ascots, who takes his pink poodles for
walks every night, and who loves Broadway musicals? Do
you mean the upper-middle-class software engineer who
wears jeans and tee shirts, who loves basketball, and
who is pretty much a "regular guy"? Do you mean the
man who wears three-piece suits Monday through Friday
but who wears leather clothes on the weekend and rides
a Harley? (And so on and on and on....)
3
Coming Out
Coming out is a phrase that is short for coming out
of the closet. "Coming out of the closet" is the
process of revealing ones sexuality. For instance,
when one says "I came out in '83," that means that the
person discovered his/her own sexual orientation at
that time. As another example, "Are you out at work?"
means, "Have you told anyone at work that you are
lesbian/gay/bisexual?" To "come out" to someone is to
tell someone you are lesbian/gay/bisexual.
Stonewall
Stonewall is the name of a gay bar in New York City
that was in business in the late Sixties. The bar was
raided by the police on June 28, 1969, but, instead
of quietly being ushered into paddy wagons, the club
patrons fought the police. After this date, the mayor
of New York City began to meet with representatives
from the lesbian/gay/bisexual communities. This event
marked the birth of the modern gay rights movement.
Many events in our communities are dated "pre-" and
"post-" Stonewall, and many cities and towns choose
dates in late-June to hold Gay Pride celebrations.
(For more information, refer to the article on
Stonewall in your packet.)
4
6/27/88
5
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252.3 | Story of a Black Lesbian | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 12:39 | 138 |
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From "The New Current"
April, 1987
[An Amherst, MA area college publication]
...In...Out
By Angela N. Traylor
Well, I went to another BSA party last weekend. Every time I go to
one of those things I swear to myself I'll never go again. It's
always the same old scene, ya know? Me subtly avoiding guys...I have
to do this (or rather, I _feel_ like I have to do this) for several
reasons. In the past, if I socialized with guys, people who knew me
either hoped that I'd changed my ways or thought that I was trying to
con those who didn't know me into thinking I was something I'm not. I
goto BSA parties knowing that a lot of the people there realize that
I'm a lesbian. However, I can't do anything that will reflect lesbian
behavior while I'm there. No overtly turning guys down, no bringing
my lovers (who are usually white) to the party with me. At the same
time, to display heterosexual behavior would be seen as deceitful or
giving people a false hope that I've "changed." Dancing with guys or
even talking to guys I don't know very well could make people think
that I enjoy leading guys on. Once when I was talking to this guy I
know somewhat, a group of Smith women started to laugh, commenting,
"Yeah, he thinks he's gonna get some tonight..."
After the party I thought about the last LA dance I attended. Being
the only Black woman there--I did the same thing I had done at the BSA
party. I brought with me the only part of me that the women attending
the party could deal with. I only let a minimum of the Black in me
into the LA party. My color calls enough attention to me, so when I
dance too "ethnically," I get the feeling that the women are staring
at me. Not because they think I'm dancing well or acting cool, but
because I dare to demonstrate my "difference." They give me this look
that says, "How dare you act differently or dance differently than the
rest of us? Can't you just be a _normal_ lesbian?" When I feel such
pressure--which has come even from lovers--I either chill out or
leave. The music is never that hot anyway.
All this reflection on parties of the past prompts me to think about
my life in general and the way I interact with my friends. I realize
now that I have been two people for such a long time that I don't even
know exactly when the division happened. I know why it happened
though. I simply can't behave in certain ways around certain people.
My Black friends for the most part are not going to treat my
lesbianism casually. Most of them do not accept it, especially since
I look and act "normally" otherwise. They can't understand, and most
of them refuse to talk about it. Once a Black friend of mine got so
upset when I was telling her about the problems I was having with a
lover that she started screaming at me. She said that she couldn't
stand that aspect of me and that if we were to be friends, I could not
talk about my sexuality with her. I was shocked, but since then I've
been careful to separate my lsebianism from my Blackness, unless a
certain degree of tolerance has been expressed. Carefully, for the
benefit of others, I have cut myself into separate, "normal" pieces.
The Black community is generally homophobic. When they discover that
I'm gay, most Black people prefer to think that I've been brainwashed
by white lesbians. Lesbianism is considered to be a white disease.
In order to avoid becoming spokeswoman for the entire Black lesbian
species, I avoid this subject.
There is always some issue of controversy in the lesbian community.
Blackness gets shoved into this set of "issues," as though my being
Black is a controversy which lesbians can resolve in a meeting. They
end up talking about what blackness (with a little "b") means to them
as white lesbians, because they can deal with my color as long as it
relates to them. But what if that color drags in behavior that
doesn't have anything to do with them...? Certain issues...? Then
they can't deal. Between meetings, the community feels that it can
treat me and other "controversial" lesbians as though our
"afflictions" don't exist. Being Black is treated like a disease or a
"sensitive issue" that might disappear if it is carefully ignored. Or
worse, the lesbian community acts as if being Black means my
lesbianism is suspect.
Why is it so hard for me to prove that my Blackness is genuine and so
is my lesbianism? Being both simultaneously--and I should not have to
be either separately. Doesn't that make sense? And are we not
sisters? I wonder sometimes. The way I act should not be painful to
me. The way I am should not be suppressed. Do you get my point? I'm
tired of being two halves. I'm not just a Black woman. I'm not just
lesbian. I am a black lesbian.
* * *
To Myself:
Okay, let's chat. You have been bothering me for some time now, and I
want to know why. Why do all of these things keep running through my
head, screaming and yelling, when I know that I can't do this paper
and pen any justice? (Trees are dying for this.) Fine. Let's talk
about where I am at now. Physically, I am home for the first time in
months, and being here makes me think of being at Smith. As to the
rest of me...well, I have been reading a lot of Black, feminist
literature this year, and I find it all to much to take in at once.
There are other Black women in the world who think the way I do. This
is great. I was beginning to think I was going crazy. Oh, you think
that's funny! You try coming out to the Mighty White Institution of
Smith College when you just happened to be a poor Black child from
Ohio (not conducive to sanity, let me tell you). Let's talk about
just a few of the problems I have had to deal with in my first two
years at Smith. Between my first lover, who was incredibly
homophobic, and the Radicalfeministlesbians, who only want to be near
you because it's "politically correct," and the Black women who kow
that you are gay but think that it's okay as long as you don't talk
about it, and the people at home who just think that you are trying to
act white, not to mention classes and adjusting to being away from
home, it's a miracle that I didn't just go insane.
_To_anyone_who_wants_to_listen_in_:
Well, you say, it's difficult for everyone in the beginning...but wait
until you get into a good relationship. Well, I am in a good one now,
and I tell you it ain't all roses. Besides the usual conflicts that
you're going to have between two people, Black women have to deal with
the fact that their lover is probably going to be white. That is
always going to be a cultural, emotional and societal
barrier...however you want to interpret it. How to be free and open
with someone that, by all rights, you're supposed to hate...Let's face
it, all Black people have an inbred hatred for all that is white. I
know it's scary, but would you, for one moment, put yourself in any
Black woman's shoes? Imagine having your existence negated for all of
your life and being told, subconsciously of course, that there is
something wrong with you because you are not a particular color. Now
you might be able to begin to comprehend the vastness and the depth
of the gap between you and me.
I didn't mean to address the white community at Smith in particular,
or even white people in general. But I realized as I thought about it
that these are things I didn't want to keep to myself because so many
other people need to deal with them. None of what I've said is likely
to change anything, nor is it likely to stop me from being me. It
does, however, communicate to those who want to hear what I've got to
say. That is all that I've ever wanted to do. Besides, as a friend
of mine said, "F*ck the trees."
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252.4 | Asian/Gay People | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 15:43 | 82 |
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I LOVE CHINESE FOOD
by
Jack Lo
The People of Color Task Force of the National March on Washington in
October was formed to help fight the bigotry of racism and homophobia.
In a series of articles published by the Gay Community News this first
article addresses gay Asians and racism.
Sometimes I wonder how much does the gay community know about gay
Asians? How much do they want to know about our culture? Do they care
about our feelings? Are we an integral part of the community? Is our
voice being represented? Do they ever think of our existence?
When I first came out I was a Buddies Regular. I often wandered around
the bar by myself feeling uncomfortable about meeting other gay people.
My physical appearance was very different and I spoke English with a
very pronounced Chinese accent. As a gay Asian, I did not know if
others found me attractive. When I saw other gay Asians we would look
at each other, but we never talked. Other gay Asians told me that
there was often a sense of competing with each other for the attention
of white gay Americans. My isolation from gay Asians changed when I
met a member of the Boston Asian Lesbian and Gay Men. I was so glad
that I was able to meet other Gay Asians from whom I could get support.
Over the years I have been able to build close friendships with other
gay Asians. Many of my Asian friends feel it is difficult to meet a
gay American. They feel that they are indeed a minority within a
minority. Some of us try to assimilate and become more like gay
Americans keeping up with the American way of dressing, dancing, and
speaking. It appears as though some of the more "modern gay Asians"
are the ones who are more likely to meet gay Americans. Perhaps the
feeling of being "too different" are reduced.
No matter how American we become though we can never ignore our Asian
background and culture. Gay Americans are quite ignorant of us. It is
not uncommon to hear, "Where are you really from? Are you Chinese or
Japanese? You must be going to MIT. I love Chinese food." I wonder
how would they feel if I told them that I loved hamburger? Sometimes
it seems as though gay Americans only see us as good candidates for
mathematicians, cooks or houseboys. Other times we feel that we are
being used as toys or as passive partners in our relationships. Many
gay Americans cannot relate to our feelings or needs. They cannot
relate to our need to keep in close contact with our families or with
our feelings towards relationships. Gay Asians are more inclined to
have monogamous, spiritual and solid relationships than our sexually
liberated gay American counterparts.
The igorance of Asian culture in general and of gay Asians in
particular along with the stereotypes that exists serve only to
increase our segregation from the rest of the gay community. Overall
gay Asians see a lack of support from the gay community.
Even in the progressive anti-racist literature I read, gay Asians are
rarely even mentioned. Our voice needs to be represented in all gay
movements. I have paritcipated in many political meetings in this
community and I feel that the decision-making processes are structured
to the disadvantages of the gay Asian. In many of the white
progressive groups to which I belong Asians and even other minorities
are left powerless when it comes to having a voice in the
decision-making process.
The Asian population in Boston has increased dramatically in recent
years. In order to survive and adjust to a world that is different
from our origin and culture, we must correct misconceptions and
stereotypes and increase our visibility at the same time. The Boston
Asian Gay Men and Lesbians have been instrumental in increasing our
support and visibility. It is our role to speak out for gay Asians and
to educate the community about our culture. Among ourselves we must be
constantly on guard against ignorance, stereotypes, insulting attitudes
and insensitive remarks. We are proud to be gay and we are proud to be
Asian. It is important to gain recognition as an integral part of the
gay community.
The October National March in Washington is an opportunity to proclaim
our rights, our existence, and our power. We need the support of
everyone regardless of race. Let us unite to gain power, and to
achieve unity...
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252.7 | Letter from Sister Poly Ester | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 16:49 | 98 |
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The following is meant as a parody of opponents of gay rights
legislation due to biblical doctrine. It is meant to be funny, but it
is also meant to make a serious point about literal interpretation of
the Bible.
Religious people who believe in literal interpretation of the bible
may wish to skip this note.
A LETTER FROM
SISTER POLLY ESTHER
From BAY WINDOWS
Feb. 11, 1988
New England's Largest
Gay & Lesbian Newspaper
BAY WINDOWS received a copy of the following letter, sent to the Rev.
Earl W. Jackson:
MIXED FABRICS SHOULD BE NIXED
-----------------------------
I am writing to thank you and congratulate you for your diligent
work that helped defeat the 1987 Massachusetts Gay Rights Bill.
People who, like gay men, break laws casually mentioned somewhere in
The Bible should not be given civil rights protections. More
Christians should be as dedicated as you to fighting basic civil
rights and human dignity. Good work, Reverend.
However, I am concerned that many people break other laws mentioned
in The Bible and yet do not suffer just discrimination for their mere
existence. I am specifically concerned about people who break the law
outlined in Leviticus Chapter 19, Verse 19: "Neither shall a garment
mingled of different fabrics come upon thee."
Yet you can see people out on the streets every day shamelessly
wearing flannel shirts with wool sweaters, acrylic blended with
cotton, and all manner of other sinful combinations one could imagine
in a nightmare. This sort of disrespect for the Laws of God is
leading to the moral decay of our society.
And what's even worse: they flaunt their perverse mixed fabrics in
front of children. (I've even heard that some of them like to dress
children in mixed fabrics, but this sin is just too perverse for
further elaboration ... and of course, ALL people who wear mixed
fabrics have a secret or overt desire to dress children the same way.)
If a mixed-fabric wearer wanted to become a foster parent, the
Commonwealth of Massachusetts would allow it. There are no questions
on the application referring to this sin. No one asks if the child
will be exposed to mixed fabrics or might even be forced to wear them.
We should spend some tax dollars to study the effects of mixed fabrics
on children, though I am sure it has a negative impact.
Furthermore are people who eat bacon for breakfast, which is
outlawed in Leviticus 11:17, and Deuteronomy 14:8; rare steak for
supper, which is outlawed in Leviticus 17:10-14, and cheeseburgers for
lunch, which is outlawed in Exodus 23:19, Exodus 34:26, and
Deuteronomy 14:21. (This must mean that cheeseburgers are three times
as sinful as gay sex since the former is mentioned thrice.)
Now there so-called Christians who want to liberally "interpret"
the Word of God or leave out certain parts of it.
They say that Jesus came to fulfill the law (Matthew 5:18) and that
His message of love is far more important (Matthew 19:19, Mark 12:30,
Luke 10:27, and I Corinthians 13:13) than mixed fabrics or
cheeseburgers. I point out that there is a curse on anyone who
completely leaves out any part of it (Revelations 22:18). Besides,
it's all right to call yourself Christian, just don't try to be TOO
MUCH like Jesus. After all, look where it got Him.
For the sake of christianity and the children, Earl, I want you to
join me in restoring some morality to government. Together we can
take away the civil rights of homosexuals, mixed-fabric wearers, and
unclean meat-eaters. Next we can persecute barbers (haircuts are
outlawed in Leviticus 19:27) and veterinarians (outlawed in Leviticus
22:24).
Then we can enforce all the Biblical laws and directives! I can't
wait until we will be able to apply the death penalty for adultery as
Leviticus 20:10 mandates. Because you have never committed adultery,
Earl, and lived without sin among us, you should be the one to cast
the first stone (John 8:7).
Sister Polly Ester
Christian Coalition
Against Mixed Fabrics
Boston, MA
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252.8 | Gay Design for Living | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 16:59 | 233 |
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The following article was written by a gay man for
lesbian/gay/bisexual people. It is strongly worded. People who do
not wish to read strongly worded pro-gay essays may want to skip this
note.
[Reprinted from the "Advocate," Issue 411, January 8, 1985]
Design for Living: Strengthening the Body Politic Seven Ways
by Armistead Maupin
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Several months ago my friend Timothy Leary gave me some advice about
my upcoming national book tour.
"Before you go," he suggested, "figure out exactly what you want to
say, and don't be embarrassed to say it over and over again. It may
be the hundredth time you've said it, but it's the first time they've
heard it, so make sure you sound like you mean it. The hundredth time
is just as important as the first."
He was right.
Three weeks and 15 cities later, I had summoned up the same answers so
often that I felt like a cross between Dr. Ruth Westheimer and the
audio-animatronics Abe Lincoln at DisneyLand. Most of the questions
were about my books ("When will Mouse find a lover?" and "Didn't you
kill Connie twice?" were two of the biggies), but a surprising number
of them cast me in the role of Coming-Out Consultant, a keeper of the
mysteries of Happy Homohood.
Remembering Tim's suggestions, I surveyed my most frequent responses
and discovered the following blueprint for a more fulfilling life.
Read it once, and I promise I won't bring it up again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Stop Begging for Acceptance
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homosexuality is still an anathema to most people in this
country---even to many homosexuals. If you camp out on the doorstep
of society waiting for "the climate" to change, you'll be there until
Joan Rivers registers Democratic.
Your job is to accept yourself---joyfully and with no apologies--and
get on with the adventure of your life.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2. Don't Run Away from Straight People.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
They need variety in their lives just as much as you do, and you'll
forfeit the heady experience of feeling exotic if you limit yourself
to the company of your own kind.
Furthermore, you have plenty to teach your straight friends about
tolerance and humor and the comfortable enjoyment of their own
sexuality. (Judging from "Donahue," many of them have only now begun to
learn about foreplay; we, on the other hand, have entire resorts built
around the practice.)
Besides, it's time you stopped thinking of heterosexuals as the enemy.
It's both convenient and comforting to bemoan the cardboard villainy
of Jerry Falwell and friends, but the real culprits in this melodrama
are just as queer as you are.
They sleep with you by night and conspire to keep you invisible by
day. They are studio-chiefs and bank presidents and talk-show hosts,
and they don't give a damn about your oppression because they've got
their piece of the pie, and they got it by living a lie.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Refuse to Cooperate in the Lie.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It is not your responsibility to "be discreet" for the sake of people
who are still ashamed of their own natures. And don't tell me about
"job security." Nobody's job will ever be safe until the general
public is permitted to recognize the full scope of our homosexual
population.
Does that include teachers?
You bet it does. Have you forgotten already how much it hurt to be 14
and gay and scared to death of it? Doesn't it gall you just a little
that your "discreet" lesbian social-studies teacher went home every
day to her lover and her cats and her Ann Bannon novels without once
giving you even a clue that there was hope for your own future?
What earthly good is your discretion, when teen-agers are still being
murdered for the crime of effeminacy?
I know, I know---you have a right to keep your private life private.
Well, you do that, my friend--but don't expect the world not to notice
what you're really saying about yourself. And the rest of us.
Lighten up, Lucille. There's help on the way.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
4. Stir Up Some Sh*t Now and Again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Last spring I wrote a commentary for the "Los Angeles Times" on the
subject of television's shoddy treatment of homosexuality. The piece
originally contained a sentence to the effect that "it's high time the
public found out there are just as many homosexuals who resemble
Richard Chamberlain as there are who resemble Richard Simmons."
The editor cut it. When I asked him why, he said: "Because it's
libelous, that's why."
To which I replied: "In the first place, I'm not saying that Richard
Chamberlain is gay; I'm simply saying there are plenty of gay men who
resemble him. In the second place, even if I were saying that Richard
Chamberlain is gay, it wouldn't be a libelous remark, because I'm gay
myself and I don't say those things with malice. I don't *accuse*
anyone of being gay; I state it as a matter of fact or opinion."
Three years earlier, I confronted a similar problem with an editor at
the "New York Times" who forbade me to make reference in an essay to
"gay film writer Vito Russo" without some written proof from Vito---an
affidavit, no less---that he was in fact, one of *those*.
I asked the editor if the "Times" took similar precautions when
mention was made of black or Jewish people. Surely there are plenty
of Americans who would hate to be mistaken for black or Jewish, so why
isn't their bigotry protected by the strong arm of the newspaper libel
law?
"Because," said the editor, "it's just not the same thing."
And they're doing their damnest to keep it that way. When the new
city of West Hollywood assembled its council last month, the
Associated Press identified the three openly gay members as "admitted
homosexuals." Admitted, get it? Fifteen years after the Stonewall
Rebellion, the wire service wants to make it perfectly clear that
homosexuality is still a dirty little secret that requires full
confession before it can be mentioned at all.
If you don't raise some h*ll, that isn't going to change.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Don't Sell your Soul to the Gay Commercial Culture
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, go ahead, if you insist, but you'd better be prepared to accept
the Butt Plug as the cornerstone of Western Civilization.
I am dumbfounded by the number of bright and beautiful men out there
who submerge themselves completely in the quagmire of gay ghetto life,
then wonder why their lives seem loveless and predictable.
What the h*ll did they expect?
If you have no more imagination than to swap one schlock-heavy
"lifestyle" for another, you haven't learned a god-d*mned thing from
the gay experience.
I'm not talking about sex here; I'm talking about old-fashioned bad
taste.
No, Virginia, we *don't* all have good taste. We are just as
susceptible to the pit falls of tackiness as everyone else in the
world. Your pissing and moaning about the shallowness of *other*
faggots falls on deaf ears when you're wearing a T-shirt that says
"This face seats five."
Not long ago I sat transfixed before my TV screen while an earnest
young man told a gay cable announcer about his dream of becoming Mr.
Leather Something-or-Other. He was seeking the title, he said, "in
order to serve the community and help humanity." He wore tit rings
and a codpiece and a rather fetching little cross-your-heart harness,
but he sounded for all the world like a Junior Miss contestant from
Medesto [California].
If our fledging culture fails us, it will be because we forgot how to
question it, forgot how to laugh at it in the very same way we laugh
at Tupperware and Velveeta and the Veterans of Foreign Wars.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
6. Stop Insulting the People You Love by Assuming They Don't Know
You're Gay.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
When I began my book tour, a publicist in New York implored me to
leave his name out of it, because "my family doesn't know about
my...uh, lifestyle."
Maybe not, but they must be the dumbest bunch this side of Westchester
County [New York]; I could tell he was gay *over the telephone*.
When my own father learned of my homosexuality (he read it in
"Newsweek"), he told me he'd suspected as much since I'd been a
teen-ager. I could've made life a lot easier for both of us if I'd
had the guts to say what was on my mind.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
7. Learn to Feel Mortal.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
If AIDS hasn't reminded you that your days are numbered---and always
have been---then stop for a moment and remind yourself. *Your days
are numbered, Babycakes*. Are you living them for yourself and the
people you love, or are you living them for people you fear?
I can't help thinking of a neighbor of mine, a dutiful government
employee who kept up appearances for years and years, kept them up
until the day he died, in fact--of a heart attack, in the back row of
an all-male f*ck film.
Appearances don't count for squat when they stick you in the ground
(all right, or scatter you to the winds), so why should you waste a
single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to
be?
Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your
friends are tedious, go out and find new ones. You are *queer*, you
lucky fool, and that makes you one of life's buccaneers, free from the
clutter of 2,000 years of Judeo-Christian sermonizing. Stop feeling
sorry for yourself and start hoisting your sails. You haven't a
moment to loose.
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252.9 | | DSSDEV::FISHER | Work that dream and love your life. | Tue Jul 26 1988 18:10 | 19 |
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I have two other articles/write-ups that are too big to post here.
They can be copied from the following directory:
DSSDEV::USERB$:[FISHER.PUBLIC]
They are the following:
Male Sex Role and Homophobia Everyone who has read this 800 line
(HOMOPHOBIA.TXT) article tells me that they were glad
they did. It is a very insightful
look into abuse of gay people by
strate folks.
Lesbian/Gay/Bi Book List An 18-page book list of
(BOOKS.TXT/.POST/.LN03/ gay/lesbian/bi-themed books. It is
.LPR) divided into sections for Beginners,
Fiction, Non-Fiction, Religious, and For
Parents. It's good reference material.
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