Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    
    
    	I'd like to point out that I in no way disparage anyone's efforts
    to rectify hair loss, however, as I gradually lose my hair (I'm
    in my mid 30's) I plan to just let it go...From what I have seen
    of various hair replacement methods over the years on different
    guys, it seems like they all would have been better off letting
    nature take its course, but I'm sure there may be guys who made
    out O.K. with some method or other...
    
    	As for The Hair Club for Men, I only wish that Sy Sperling (correct
    spelling?) would someday make a new commercial; I must have seen
    the one he has at least a thousand times by now...
    
    	Anyway, good luck!
    
    					Dave

    The Hair Club For Men comercial has to be the most boring thing
    on TV, and long to.
    
    Jim

    Yeah, but he is not only the hair club President, he is also a client.
    
    
    Tony S.

    Re, last few. I often wonder which are really the "before" and which
    are really the "after" pictures! 

I read an article long ago about the different techniques they use and 
one I remember (because it is so gross) is --  

on men who are balding on top of their head but still have hair on the 
sides, they remove skin from the top of the head, then stretch/pull up 
from the sides which I guess moves some of the hair from the sides up 
to the top of the head and leaves less area to fill in.

Kp.

    			HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    

    
    
    My best freind went to hair club for men about a year ago. He was
    rapidly losing his hair in back. He's about 24.  For about 3500
    dollars he got a "weave".  Now for the last 4 years my freind was
    never seen without a hat on. No one, and I mean no one ever saw
    his head. After he got the weave he stopped wearing the hat. It
    was amazing how many people told him how good his hair looked. They
    would ask him if he got it cut a new way or what he did with it
    to make it look so good.  It really does look good. It's impossible
    to tell it's not real. Also the thing doesn't come off. I ve been
    water skiing with him and when he gets out of the water you can't
    see a thing.
    
    			So don't laugh to hard at that company,
    			they do a good job.
    			
    				- A.J.

    
    yeah?
    
    Hmm.... sure beats trying all those old lines about how it
    doesn't really matter (we all know it really does)...
    

Article 3514 of rec.humor.funny
Path: ryn.mro4.dec.com!hollie.rdg.dec.com!news.crl.dec.com!deccrl!decwrl!looking!funny-request
Message-id: <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 24 Jun 92 19:30:4 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: [email protected] (Jerome Nantel)
Subject: My hero - humorous speech
Keywords: smirk
Approved: [email protected]

This is an original humorous speech a fiend of mine (Shaun Morris) presented
to a class. 

--

Heroes.  We all have them.  At least we're SUPPOSED to all have them...  So you
can imagine my disappointment when I realized that I didn't have a hero.  I had
to find one.  U2?  There's too many of them, and they wear too much leather.
Candice Bergen? Tough, and beautiful, but she's related to Edgar Bergen, the
ventriloquist.  James Brown?  He's cool, but he had a song in Rocky III.  And
then it struck me.  My new hero.

Today, I'll sing the praises of my new hero.  He's socially responsible, he
embodies the American dream, and he hasn't let success change him. He's still
the same old guy. Just like us.

My hero should be socially responsible.  Not just someone who goes after what's
in his or her best interest, but someone who tries to make a difference.  Tries
to make the world a better place.  My hero is out there every day, trying to
make life a little easier for a group of men who suffer from a tragic illness.
He helps them to overcome their handicap, and to be accepted into society. I'm
talking, of course, about Male Pattern Baldness, and my new hero is none other
than Sy Sperling, President of Hair Club for Men.

What does the American Dream mean to you?  The American Dream, to me means
moving up in society.  Starting out with nothing, and attaining success with
nothing but your blood, and sweat, and a few carefully placed bribes. Like
"The Jeffersons".  They started out with nothing, living next to Archie
Bunker.  But they had a little laundromat, and some friends at the network,
and they got their OWN show, with a maid, and a theme song.  This is the
American Dream.  Sy Sperling is that dream, too.  He didn't even have friends
at the network, or a de-luxe apartment in the sky.  All he had was a little
business, and a dream, and enough money to put together a 30 second
commercial.  He did it all himself, he put together his little commercial, and
his hard work and sincerity paid off.  He was average, and yet he was on
television, and we all loved him for it.


He's Sy Sperling.  He knows he's Sy Sperling.  People on the street know he's
Sy Sperling.  And he gets the joke.  "It's a fun thing for me", he says.  He's
not like those other TV hucksters, who get their cheap commercials made, but
end up looking like schmucks, he's Sy Sperling the Hair Club President, a rare
success at a difficult task.  He's not Victor Kiam, pawning the Lady Remington
Rechargeable.  This is no Crazy Ed, of Ed's TV and Leisurewear Emporium,
SLASHING prices to the bare walls in a mad, everything must go frenzy.  This
is Sy Sperling, unearthing the Myths and Misconceptions of Minoxidol.  He
talks about weaves, toupes, wigs.  The suture process.  In easy to understand
English.  He's a celebrity, but he's just like us.  He's no perfect,
glamorous greek god of a man.  He's Sy Sperling.  He's bald.  He understands.

I've told you why Sy Sperling is my new hero.  I know he's not for everyone,
but to me, in his own way, he embodies everything great about a society which
is desperate for heroes, which is why I my heart fills with joy every time I
hear those heavenly words.  "I'm not just the Hair Club President; I'm also a
client."
--
Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to [email protected].

Please!  No copyrighted stuff.  Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.