Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    I went to public school up until the 8th grade.  Then it was on
    to a Catholic High school.  There wasn't any sex education in the
    public school. Although we did have health class once a week but it
    was considered a joke.   The Catholic High school taught sex education
    in Religion class.  It was an all boys school as well. For the most
    part if a teenager or younger who didn't get any info from
    mom and dad or an older brother or sister then he/she got if from
    the street. Of course hearing it from peers, it was always exaggerated.
    We all acted as though we were born with this information and never
    asked questions, just compared stories and bragged about experiences
    real or imagined. 
    
    I think 9 is too young.  But then again I don't have any children.
    
    Bryan

    I started talking to my daughter (12 in July) about sex/boys/changes
    in her body when she was about 9.  It's not too soon.  With all
    the stuff on TV, kids are aware of sex alot sooner than we were
    at their age.  What I did to prepare myself for the conversation
    was:  spend some time in the bookstore looking at the titles and 
    reading a bit, bought some books and read them.  I thought about 
    my own values, expectations and experiences.  I thought about what 
    my mother told me (what a joke).  I talked to the parents of my
    daughter's friends to find out what they did.
    
    Once I was ready, armed with a cute book, I sat down with Tina and
    tried not to overwhelm her with too much detail.  I just wanted
    her to know that all this stuff is natural, biological, and
    everyone goes thru it!   She asked a lot of questions and we have
    a refresher discussion every now and then.
    
    Recently her class at school had some movies and both sexes watched
    both movies.  Because she has learned about it in a more or less
    rational approach, she was not embarrassed like some of the kids.
    
    The catch is always...when biology and morality mix...how do you
    know what's right?  Get your thoughts straight on this *before*
    you talk to your kid.

    Nine is definitely *not* too young. Children around the age of
    4 can learn about simple biology. This would include proper
    names for body parts (which should ideally start for their own
    bodies when they are first learning words) and a basic understanding
    about where babies come from.
    
    By nine children should be learning about the changes that occur
    when puberty hits...I know I talked with all my children about these
    changes at approximately that age. I have found tho, that kids, no
    matter how open you are with them, are embarassed about sex between
    adults, especially their parents. The other thing that I would suggest
    is to buy a number of good books on the subject, and show them to
    the children and then put them in the bookcase with the understanding
    that the books are there if they want to read them.

    My father once told me that he felt that a parent has formed a kids
    morals and goals before the young person reaches puberty. That after
    that a parent may guide but that the child's adult morals are then
    up to them to build on what you gave them.  So the years between
    9 and 12 are to me some of the best for dealing with these issues.
    
    Bonnie

    
    
    ....ummmm.....Bonnie-Jamey will be 9 in just 6 months.  I guess
    I'd better start preparing, huh?  
    
    Well, let me be blunt.  I can deal with teaching him the proper
    (and even some f the improper) terms for various body parts.  
    And he has heard reference to 'making love' and 'having sex'.  
    We are even rather casual about nudity in our house, although now
    that he is getting older, I am less casual about total nakedness.
    
    But how do actually explain sex to a 9 year old boy?  I mean, how
    graphic should a person be?  Does one explain the actual 'act' of
    intercourse??
    
    We've already gotten past the biological discussions, like ovulation
    and pregnancy and birth (and thank goodness this chld has been reading
    the Reader's Digest Home Medical book since he was 4 years old!).
    We've discussed and looked at diagrams of the anatomy of both men
    and women.  
    
    But how does, or should one, actually explain sexual intercourse?
    
    Hey, I know, someone more experienced in these matters can just
    enter a note in this conference and I'll let Jamey read it!  ;-)
    
    No, No, just kidding.  I knew this day would come eventually.  Please,
    some advice from those who have gotten past this stage and survived!
    
                     Deborah
    
    

       
       
       	Sounds like you could use some books on the subject.. I've
       seen many in bookstores... Better to be prepared!! Also,
       I think MENNOTES is the wrong place to discuss this.. PARENTING
       should have covered this a LONG time ago.. Sorry, don't have
       the nodename handy.. (No need to start reading THAT conference
       at this stage of my life!! Thank God!! :-))
       
       						mike
       				(single and about to be a GREAT uncle.. :-))

    Parenting has indeed had discussions on this subject...but I think
    it was in the older archived version.
    
    To access parenting try words::parenting.
    
    Bonnie

    I have not had to go through this as of yet, however, some key words
    and phrases I think would be very benificial in the discussion are:
     
    love 
    respect
    morally correct
    pregnant
    it's okay to say no
    I'm always here to talk to
    think before you act
    family
    marriage
    sexually transmitted diseases (from A-Z)
    
                                                    For what there worth,
                                                    Mike

    REPLY TO .4
    
           A bit of humor on this subject is provided by our well known
    friends from the U.K.  Monty Python, in the movie "The Meaning of
    Life".   I'm sure if you've seen the movie, you'll know what I'm
    talking about.   If grammer school were like that I'm sure there
    would be no absences on the day of sex education.
    
    Bryan

    	My 8 year old daughter (who is a little hellion) wants my wife
    and I to demonstrate, but we have drawn the line at that. She knows
    all the facts, but she just wants to be able to provide the neighbours
    with graphic descriptions...

    i caught my ten year daughter shaving her legs *SIGH*
    
    kelly