Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    I find it somewhat fascinating that no one has replied to this note.
    There are a jillion replies to the parallel note in womannotes.
    Do men not have nightmares that bother them to any significant degree?
    

    Well, I guess I'll try to start it.
    
    Most of my nightmares don't really bother me.  Occasionally, I'll have
    a "scary monster" one; after I wake up, it's makes for a good laugh.
    Another one that I have at times is finding myself locked outside my
    house (I live alone), with little if anything on.  It's mostly just
    embarrassing.
    
    At one point this past summer, I was having some "waking nightmares"
    that really disturbed me.  I was having thoughts of responding to
    the littlest things with violence.  It really bothered me, because
    I am not a violent person.  After a couple of weeks, I figured out
    what the cause was - I had a lot of anger that I had to deal with.
    Since I've dealt with the anger, the thoughts have stopped, and
    I'm back to a happier life now that I'm not having those disturbing
    thoughts.
    
    Rich

    I occaisionally relive VN experiences in dreams. Usually they are
    variations from what actually happened (far more terrifying 
    than reality), and leave me breathless and sweat soaked and
    wondering why I'm still alive at the alarm, blanket and sheets 
    soaked.

        My nightmares occur primarily during the day. Sleep is
     my sanctuary from them. Perhaps I am an exception, but I 
     rather doubt it. I suppose this is a sign of a really 
     depressed person. 
        Maybe some action in WWIII (182) would liven me up. Alas
     there are no takers.
    
                                                  zzzzzzzz,
                                                           Russ

    There was a tarantula on my shoulder last night. Running through
    a plaster wall head first took care of him though. Woke up with
    a headache. Gotta avoid that Molson Gold.

                Throughout my  childhood and teenage years, I had 
                a recurring nightmare,  the  substance of which I 
                could never remember.   I  only know I woke up in 
                sheer terror.  I never  did  find  out  what  the 
                dream was about, but I was  living  in an unhappy 
                environment as well as being unhappy with myself.
                
                After  leaving home and getting some professional 
                help, they just stopped.
                
                I  suppose  my  dreams  were  just symptoms of  a 
                larger terror.
                
                Warren

    I used to have nightmares as a child. The usual mummy chases Mikie?
    around thing. Lotsa' fun. Flying saucers were a problem to until
    I stole one for myself.
    
    Now I just have scarey dreams usually with violent encounters. No
    matter how many times I shoot or stab those guys they never fall
    down. B^)
    
    Since I've done some headwork, dealing with personal shadows and such I
    have found that even the scarey dreams are fun. I haven't had a
    nightmare in 4 years or so.

    The nightmares that I have are of the type of subject that I
    could possibly put into a forum such as this -  surfice it to say
    that while wearing a USMC uniform in South East Asia, in 1964, there
    were some things that I did that cause me severe and extreme problems
    with sleep, to this day.  If you want details I'll contact you off
    line but I don't think that a great deal of people would be interested
    in reading some very horrible experiences.
    
    How do I handle it?  Well, I have  a relatively easy time with it,
    I have very simply done without sleep for a long time and continually
    convince myself that what I did was sanctioned - I  had a job to
    do, and I did it - very simple.  Actually, the dreams do not happen
    more than about once a year so it's not that much of a problem with
    the single exception of the fact that *after* one night of the dream
    I think about it for about a week - then - no problem until the
    next time.  As a general rule the only time the dreams come up is
    when someone questions me about my experiences.  It has become easier
    to discuss recently, but is still not easy.
    
    Jerry Beeler
    Lubbock, Texas

    The following answer was sent to me by a man who said I could 
    enter it in this note.
    
    From personal experiences, and also in living with someone who had
    "hellish violent nightmares", and in applying the Jungian principles,
    they are an indication of deep rooted personal problems; which if
    the victim chooses, can be helped (probably ..EVERYthign is probable
    or maybe, eh ?).
    
    Also, in applying "dream analysis concepts", nightmares / dreams
    become a personal insight to within ones own id, and whatever symbols
    may be true for one, are not necessarily true for another.
    
    Nightmares may also be a warning of physically impending doom or
    dissaster if the victim fails to change something; or they may mean
    noting more than a stylized replay of a particularly bad day.
    
    
    If one were to pursue therapy based on "dream analyisis" (only some
    do so, as some people still consider Jung to a be  quack of sorts),
    the first question to the counselor should be "Do you use Jungs
    dream therapy techniques ?" It is only one technique, and the failure
    of the coumnselor to use it does not indicate competence or a lack
    of it.
    
    The book "Man and his symbols" is a good resource for some
    understanding of dreams, but I THINK that books of the ilk "Dreams
    - 1001 symbols and their meanings " should be held in distrust.
    Its up to the patient to determine whether or not a particular symbol
    "makes sense" to them. 
    
    The whole thing is completely intuitive, and like so many other
    of lifes equations, we need to find our own answers.
    
   

    	I actually enjoy having nightmares.  I like being able to control
    my dreams, so I make myself super powerful or something like that.
    I think nightmares are kind of fun, kinda like going to a horror
    movie.

    Exactly.  There was an article in the April issue of OMNI that
    explained in full detail how to make yourself have lucid dreams.
    
    				-=*>Jason<*=-

    re .11 to .13   Hmmmm, perhaps I should read that article. Then
                  at least, my daily nightmares would be in lucid
                  form. Unfortunately, I don't think they can poss-
                  ibly get any more clearer than they already are.
                    But, you Never Know.
    
                                                         Russ

    Re 200.14
    
    	I don't think that it is supposed to make you understand your
      dreams better or anything, I just think it's a fun kind of thing.
    
    				-=*>Jason<*=-
      (0

    re .15   A few yrs back OMNI said that in 1991, Men will be able
             to have babies. Some kind of implant.
          
             I asked my mother about this. She said, " Good, I'm all
             for it, YOU think it's easy - go ahead - TRY IT."
    
             Just think of the new legal nightmares THIS will bring.
    
                                                       expecting,
                                                                 Russ

    I've had some beauts in my adult life. Kid's nightmares usually
    contain goblins or gremlins or such. Adult's nightmares usually
    contain everyday situations gone wrong. My favorite (makes sense
    to me) explanation, is that something is bothering your subconscious
    mind and the dreams are a way of working them out. On the other
    hand, it could have been the anchovie pizza 8-).
    
    Bob Mc

    Funny I should find this note. I had a nightmare last night. This
    same nightmare is reoccurring. I always dream that my children die
    or get hurt bad. Sometimes my wife has to wake me because i hyper-
    ventilate. These dreams are real scary. I can't figure why I have
    them. Another reoccurring nightmare is when I am a mercinary going
    to free some people. I always get bullet riddle by machine guns
    and I actually feel the bullets penetrating my skin. Again I need
    to be awakened because I end up hyperventilating. Must be a reason
    behing these crazy dreams but they are awful.
    
    Dennis

    	Wow, I don't think dreams like that are fun at all, and I would
    like to find out why we have them that bad.  Did you ever actually
    get shot before??  If so, then that would explain why you would
    FEEL the bullet penetrating your flesh (yech!)
    
    	Someday I'll know more about this stuff, but until then.....
    
    					-=*�Jason�*=-

	I have a re-occuring dream that happens about once a year.
	I dream that there is a giant spider in the back
	yard of a home in Dorchester (where I used to live as a kid)
	and my friend John is trapped in there.. Bizzah dream..
	It's been ongoing for about 15 years..

						mike

    RE:19
    
    No I've never been shot. I simply can't tie those dreams into
    anything related in my life.
    
    Confused!!!!!
    
    Dennis

    
    	freud could surely do a number on you, dennis....
    
    	bullets because of their shape are considered phallic...
    	and you said feeling bullets entering ....hmmmm...
    
    	

    not a chance.... it's more than that for sure.
    
    Phallic???? I never liked frued (SP) anyway

    re .22
    
    Entering my body would be - penetrating my flesh isn't.
    
    Bob Mc

    
    	re.  .24
    	penetrate & enter (in my dictionary) can be used interchangeably...
    	but i really don't want to argue semantics....
    	but perhaps point out that freud would *probably* think 
    	that his nightmares of being bullet-ridden may have something
    	to do with being controlled (in one form or another) by a man.
    	
    	denise

    re:22  yes that is penetrating the flesh ....... 
    
    never thought my nightmare were so deep.... what then about my 
    children always being hurt, Denise? What does what does freud
    have to say about that?

    
    	that all depends what the focal point of your dream is,
    	is it your children being hurt with you being bullet
    	ridden as a result of their rescue, or are you ALL being
    	bullet-ridden at the same time for whatever reason?
    
    	it makes a difference, ya know... 
    	anyways ....in defense of freud, he does make for some 
    	thought provoking discussion, does he not?
    
    	

    re .22, .27
    
    In all deference, if it were _my_ dream you were discussing with
    such glee, I would be extremely angered by the tone.  The man had
    a very bad dream, for goodness sakes!  To joke around implying that
    his whole way of [married] life is in contradiction with his inner
    [homosexual] desires is callous, totally inhumane, and maliciously
    cruel.
    
    Lee

>                                         To joke around implying that
>   his whole way of [married] life is in contradiction with his inner
>   [homosexual] desires is callous, totally inhumane, and maliciously
>   cruel.
    
    Not to mention awfully homophobic.  There's more than just one guy
    being insulted here.
    
    Steveg
    

     I for one think this went in the wrong direction. I merely was
    telling what i dream once in awhile. I never expected to be told
    that I have tendencies which I do not wish to discuss. 
    
    Re:: 28-29   Thanks

    
    	rushing to my own defense....
    
    	i was only making assumptions concerning the dream and freud's
	*supposed* analysis of it (based on his `dream interpretations'
    	....observe... no ph.d at end of name.... it was done to infuse 
    	a little noting exchange.
    	gawd you guys are touchy....
    
    	dennis, you ought to know better than that of me....
    
    	:-)

    I have had this recurring dream for a number of years of 
    being in World War 1, in the trenches, waiting for the
    commander to blow the whistle to signal "going over the
    top" to face a wall of enemy machine gun bullets. 
    
    I've seen the first two waves of soldiers try and make an
    attack, and seen them all massacred as they tried to
    rush the enemy's position. I am in the third wave of soldiers
    and there are dead and dying soldiers crying and asking for
    medical attention strewn all around me in the trench and just
    yards away from me. I am in a cold sweat, gripped with terrifying
    fear.
                                               
    I have my rifle in hand, and am just waiting for the whistle to
    blow. 
          
    The waiting and the anticipation is the nightmare.
                                
    When I saw the movie "Gallipoli" I felt I was there.
    
    -Arthur
         

    This is in reply to the memo from Dennis about his children being
    hurt.  I have had similar dreams about my daughter.  So has my wife.
    They either deal with someone trying to take her or for me, a criminal
    being in the house.  I think it has to do with the anxiety of being
    a parent.  I think many fathers and/or husbands feel as thought
    the security of the family rests on them. (As in fact it usually
    does)  I contributed it (in my own case) to being a fairly new father.
    And knowing that the safety of these people I care so deeply for
    rests mostly on my shoulders.  That, my friend, is a heavy load.
    I think it is interesting that there are others who experience the
    same anxiety.  Try waking yourself up in the case of a bad dream.
    I have been able to do this since I was younger.  When you try to
    yell and you can't, you are at a point in your sleep when you are
    bordering on concious.  Make a conscious decision to wake up.  Tell
    yourself you are dreaming.  Wake yourself up.  It will take a few
    times, but with practice it can be done.
    
    
    REPLY TO  DENISE: Freud is a horses *ss!  That man had so many sexual
    hangups that it's a wonder he wasn't found to be the sexual deviant
    his ideas showed him to be.  Anyone who prescribes to his way of
    thinking shouldn't be taken seriously.
    
    ON INTERPRETTING DREAMS: I think people try to look so deep into
    peoples dreams that they crawl so deep down a rathole that two things
    happen. 1) They miss the reality of the situation by looking right
    past it. 2) They screw normal people up by telling them (or suggesting
    to them) something which puts doubts in the persons mind as to their
    integrity.
    
                                              Hope this makes sense,
                                              Mike

    There was a period of my life, in my mid-twenties I think, when
    I was always having disaster dreams such as skyscraper fires or
    earthquakes. I never figured it out.
    
    I have had two recurring dreams over the years. In one I usually
    am in a social situation and everything seems to be going smoothly
    when suddenly I realize I am naked! No one seems to notice but I
    get *extremely* panicy.
    
    In the other dream (and this is the weird one) I'm going up in an
    elevator and it doesn't stop! It goes right thru the top of the
    building shooting up into the sky. I have time to look around but
    I always wake up before I start to fall.
    
    Right now my daymares are worse than my nightmares.
    
    Charlie