| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 183.3 | | CSSE::HAKIM | | Mon Nov 16 1987 16:51 | 16 |
| Funny you should ask...
NO!
Having initiated on numerous occassions, I have found that the response
varies as does the culture, the age, and the values of the men I
have asked. Men are no easier to figure out than women and vice
versa. It is also no more or less of a risk for a woman to be rejected
than a man. Since I have so much doubt about all this stuff (that includes
the game playing which does go on, but which no one dares admit....
remember now..we are all suppossed to be honest and enlightened)
the only way I know a man wants to be with me is if he asks. And
then we'll take it from there. In the event a good friend/relationship
develops, then I have no problem initiating my wanting to be with that
man.
|
| 183.4 | Are you serious? | VCQUAL::THOMPSON | Noter at large | Mon Nov 16 1987 17:06 | 8 |
| > the only way I know a man wants to be with me is if he asks. And
And can I assume that the only way a man knows if you want to be
with him is for you to ask? No, then how does he know? Are men so
good at reading you that they don't need you to ask? Or are you
so bad at reading men?
Alfred
|
| 183.6 | | GCANYN::TATISTCHEFF | Lee T | Tue Nov 17 1987 00:31 | 12 |
| I ask men out plenty, thanks. Yes I enjoy some aspects of it, and
hate other aspects.
The hard ones to initiate are where we are already friends and I
would like a little more... when he is accustomed to thinking of
me in a strictly platonic way (or get in hot water) and then I think
"well, isn't HE nice..." and try to test the waters for further
involvement, there is a dearth of signals. And sitting down and
saying, gee you know, I'd really like to get to know, er weel, I'd
really like, er, oh forget it. That's just a tad awkward.
Lee
|
| 183.7 | Learning how to play... | MARCIE::UPR | | Tue Nov 17 1987 00:52 | 10 |
| I'm learning to ask men out, no, it's not easy. A lot of times
it's more like encouraging them to ask me out (hitting them with
a brick, for example).
It really isn't so bad to ask them, but then, I only do when I
am fairly certain I won't be rejected. "Reading all the signals
right".
cj
|
| 183.8 | Ain't That The Truth | HPSCAD::WALL | I see the middle kingdom... | Tue Nov 17 1987 08:56 | 15 |
|
RE: .6
>The hard ones to initiate are where we are already friends and I
>would like a little more... when he is accustomed to thinking of
>me in a strictly platonic way (or get in hot water) and then I think
>"well, isn't HE nice..." and try to test the waters for further
>involvement, there is a dearth of signals. And sitting down and
>saying, gee you know, I'd really like to get to know, er weel, I'd
>really like, er, oh forget it. That's just a tad awkward.
You and I ought to get together and write a book with some really
trendy title about this phenomenon. :-)
DFW
|
| 183.9 | true true true... | STOKES::WHARTON | | Tue Nov 17 1987 09:26 | 6 |
| Lee, it is so true.
After a few dates of "hanging out with the guys" and I decide
that I want a little more, it's so much more awkward...
-karen
|
| 183.10 | How Do You Know??? | GCANYN::WILBER | | Tue Nov 17 1987 16:57 | 11 |
| Re .4
I agree with Alex. How the heck is a man **supposed** to know these
unwritten signals that we are talking about? I've tried initiating
many times lately and have come up sour feeling like I shouldn't
have even tried. I just don't understand this dating "game". I guess
I missed the meeting where "signals" were talked about.
Jeff
|
| 183.11 | | COMET::BRUNO | Beware the Night Writer! | Wed Nov 18 1987 22:41 | 9 |
|
Neither sex can know for sure. Males are, at the present,
accostomed to taking the risk (for the large part). The reasons
that some of the noters are giving for WOMEN not 'carrying the ball'
are equally good reasons for MEN not doing so. Luckily, men will
still do the job.
Greg
|
| 183.12 | How well did you want to know them? | OPHION::HAYNES | Charles Haynes | Mon Nov 23 1987 13:39 | 11 |
| Eye contact. Works wonders. If you look someone straight in the
eye and think to yourself, "Gee, I'd like to get to know you better."
they usually get the message. If you'd only like to know them a
little better, try doing things with them. I find that going to
a local cafe, coffee house, or bookstore, and just sitting around
talking is a great way to get to know someone better. Fairly
non-threatening as well.
Direct eye contact is risky of course. They may frown and look away.
-- Charles
|