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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

106.0. ""I" am the Best Lover, so is she..." by BLITZN::AIKALA (Big Boys Naughty Toy: Lamborghini) Fri May 22 1987 07:49

                                                                 
    Phil Donahue's show on Thursday more or less covered this topic.
    Quite surprisingly, there was very little "flaming" going on
    in the audience.  Out of a survey, it was deemed that Italians
    were the best lovers.  I think the French were second and the
    Spaniards were third.  Americans were nowhere in sight.  One
    question brought about by one female concerned the reverse.  Which
    female, of International influence, were the best lovers according
    to males?  I don't believe this was answered.
    
    Granted, nationality should not the basis of a good lover make.
    Intellectually, we realize that consideration and the ultimate
    unselfish desire to please your lover, tripled with sensitivity
    towards your lovers needs, along with uninhibited imagination
    makes for historic, memorable, bedroom dancing.  Also, two
    lovers who are very complimentary together, might be considered
    so-so if ever their talents were shared with another.
    
    So, now that I have stated the logical, on with the shallow
    perceptions. :^ )  It is my opinion, that English women are the
    best lovers.  To be fair, I speak from the experience of only "one"
    such relationship with an English woman.  I spent considerable
    time in Europe, Greece, France, England, Germany.  Leading a
    "charmed" life there, I never came across another to match the
    English woman's ferver behind closed doors.  She wasn't a
    one night stand, quite the opposite, but I must refrain from
    naming names.
    
    I was quite surprised and delighted to know such a person as
    her, who had a highly tuned sense of the erotic.  Her method
    was wholly unselfish, a method I discovered gave mine strong
    competition.  I am %100  afflicted to concentrating on my lover
    "first", totally absorbed in submerging her in an ocean of
    pleasure before any "real" act of swimming takes place.  This
    I found in the English woman and more.  I pride myself with
    having an overactive imagination, but once exposed to her
    imagination, to coin a phrase, I discovered unchartered territory
    that would take hours to explore.  She was very good, and if she
    was any indication of what the best lovers are made of, then
    this one came from England.
    
    Now for the ego statement.  I am Hawaiian, therefore, I will say
    that the supreme compatibility (personal experience, sorry)
    and coupling of lovers occured between a Hawaiian gentleman and an
    English Lady.
    
    BTW - I (just an opinion) disagree with the survey.  I think this
    Hawaiian could write a Volume of Standards on the issue. :^ )
    
    Sherman_who_now_dances_in_the_sheets_with_a_California_surfer_girl
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106.1RDGE00::SADATSocrates... GOO-OOO-OOL!! BraSILLL!!Fri May 22 1987 09:297
Well of course everybody *knows* that Englishmen make the best lovers...

But the Japanese make 'em smaller and cheaper.

Tarik.

Re: .0  You wouldn't have her phone number, would you... OH!! Sorry... :-)
106.2Smaller and cheaper? Hmph!RSTS32::COFFLERJeff CofflerFri May 22 1987 09:4424
    What a topic ...
    
    >Well of course everybody *knows* that Englishmen make the best
    >lovers...
    
    Really?  *I* didn't know that!  Not that I'd know personally, of
    course, but based on what I've heard, this isn't the case.
    
    Not to worry, Tarik.  I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule! :^)
    
    
    re: .0
    
    Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that Americans aren't on the list.
    
    I'd suspect that feelings on this would vary along with the overall
    stability of the relationship (watch me get flammed for this - sigh).
    What I mean is: I would suspect people would be much more sensative to
    needs of a partner in a stable, committed relationship (where the
    people love one another) rather than a casual or one-night stand. I
    wouldn't know personally, since I don't practice one-night stands, but
    it makes sense ...
    
    	-- Jeff
106.3SYSENG::MURDOCKFri May 22 1987 10:1612
    
    Interesting....., watching 'LA Law' several months ago there was
    an episode in which a man had committed bigamy with aprox. 200 
    women. The defendig lawyer obviously asked him for his secret for
    luring 'that' many women, the bigamist wispered in his attorneys
    ears "the VENUS BUTTERFLY". 
    
    Has .0 ever heard of this 'technique', if so, can you explain it
    or any other to us...??  (careful NOT to insult the general audience) 
    
    BTW I am from Central America, and I've NEVER had a complaint.....hmmm
    were Central Americans mentioned in the program.....??
106.4warning - explicit material followsLEZAH::BOBBITTFestina Lente - Hasten SlowlyFri May 22 1987 10:4316
    
    ooh, what a giveaway....
    
    I have never seen/used one, but from what I've read (giveaway #2)
    a butterfly is a small (several inches or less) plastic/rubber device
    which straps around the woman kinda like underwear.  Ever seen a
    cowboy hat with a crease down the middle?  Well imagine it's shaped
    like that, with the female's ... sensitive part ... placed in the
    hat's crease.  And it's electric.  And it vibrates.  I can't imagine
    why a woman would be attracted to a man because of one - unless
    of course he was giving out free samples :-)
    
    any other ideas what it could have been?
    
    -Jody
    
106.5Careful - this topic can digress easilyRSTS32::COFFLERJeff CofflerFri May 22 1987 10:5012
    re: .3
    
    The "VENUS BUTTERFLY" has already been discussed in other notes files.
    Please don't rehash stuff here.  Besides, the writers of L.A. Law have
    already indicated that you can substitute your own term; they know of
    no "VENUS BUTTERFLY" technique, other than what is in your imagination.
    
    As moderator, I don't want to see this conference digress into a 'Sex
    Technique Handbook', and don't think the management of DEC would care
    much for that.  Use caution please.
    
    	-- Jeff
106.6VINO::KILGOREWild BillFri May 22 1987 10:527
    Re the infamous "venus butterfly":
    
    Someone directly connected with the show (producer, director, star...?)
    claimed that the venus butterfly was a purely ficticious sexual tactic,
    and that titilated viewers would have to use their imagination to fill
    in the blanks. (Hint: "Do you think you could do that again?" "I don't
    know - I'll have to call room service...")
106.7QUARK::LIONELWe all live in a yellow subroutineFri May 22 1987 12:3215
    Re: "Venus butterfly"
    
    See last month's (I think) issue of Playboy, which talked about
    this in detail.  (They asked for suggestions from their readers
    as the mention on the show came from the screenwriter's imagination.)
    
    Re: "Who is the best lover"
    
    Boy, talk about generalizations!  This question is so unanswerable
    that it is totally pointless to discuss.   Each country has its
    own wide range of people, and one's limited experience (such as
    ONE) in no way can relate to the purported "quality" of a nation
    as a whole.  What we are talking here is stereotypes, folks.
    
    					Steve
106.8LEZAH::BOBBITTFestina Lente - Hasten SlowlyFri May 22 1987 14:399
    
    re: .7
    
    >* blush *<   
    
    if you say so.
    
    -Jody
    
106.9clarification (ahem)LEZAH::BOBBITTFestina Lente - Hasten SlowlyFri May 22 1987 14:4413
    
    let me clarify my last note
    
    I guess this conversation is tending to digress
    
    but as everyone will have their own opinion, and will have gotten
    their information from *varying* sources - ....
    
    there is no right or wrong answer.  I expect I'll learn a lot more
    in this note than I had at first anticipated :)
    
    -Jody
    
106.11An International Surveyor ReportsRITZ::RKEYou can take your Vax and....Sat May 23 1987 05:4411
	Re .0
	I have over a long period of years now been conducting a survey,
	I have travelled far and wide, I have experienced many women of 
	many cultures, from many countries. It is my feeling that I can't 
	yet come to a definate conclusion about who is best, if I ever 
	finish the survey I shall post the report here. I'm sorry I can't
	be more difinite just at the moment, but you know how it is, a 
	labour of love and all that.

Richard.
106.12No suspense!BLITZN::AIKALABig Boys Naughty Toy: LamborghiniSat May 23 1987 06:106
    
    
    Re: .11
    
    But! But!...   I'd be curious to know your favorite up to this
                   point.  :^ )  Country?
106.13Venus Butterfly...Straight through my lovers heartCOMET2::AIKALADancing in the sheetsSat May 23 1987 08:2450
    
    Sorry Jeff, one more on the Venus Flytrap.  I watched that L.A.
    Law episode with my current California obsession and found myself
    puzzled by the implications which only fueled the imagination
    as to what it could possibly be.  When I queried my girlfriend
    if she knew what a Venus Butterfly was, she answered, "Of course,
    silly, you've been doing it to me for two years."  ?????  Oh!-Kay!
    Not wanting to look "silly", I didn't pursue the matter, but I
    still don't know!  And I don't think the L.A. Law episode of the
    Venus Butterfly portrayed it as a device, rather a technique applied
    manually. :^ )
    
    Back to the Best Lovers issue.  On the Donahue show, other aspects
    were brought to light besides the influence of nationality.  Such
    as religion.  What religion tended to influence the best lovers?
    Would you (this is not asked in sarcasm) believe the Jewish faith?
    Jewish men displayed the ability to "care" the most about their
    mates.  Roman Catholics made for the guilty lovers.  Not during
    the lovemaking, but immediately after.  However, some the the 
    Jewish females in the audience debated the notion concerning the
    Jewish males as Best Lovers.  This was immediately rebuked by a
    Jewish male who stated simply, if one saw the Jewish women they
    had to work with, it would be no wonder if they weren't the best
    lovers.
    
    On the Astrological scale, it was presented that without a
    doubt, Scorpios made for the most (dare I say it?) inflammed, :^ )
    heated, passionate, up-tempo lovers, alongside with those under
    Sagittarius.  At this point I exclaimed, HEY! What about Aquarius?
    It seems this show only discussed the top three or two categories.
    
    There was a caller (female) who proclaimed Arabs as being the best
    lovers, a woman in the audience, from India, wished to know what
    the expert that Phil also had present (who was female), thought
    about India's male population under the best lovers heading.  But
    you know Phil, stick a mic in someones face, and then dash off to
    another face for another opinion/question without commenting on
    the previous person at times.  Sorry, there was no mention of 
    Central Americans.  It was only an hour show however.
    
    I am Aquarius, born February 14th under Cupids watchful eye, Hawaiian
    with Portuguese/Filipino mix, of the Roman Catholic faith.  I just
    want to know about this guilty-schmilty nonsense we of the faith
    are supposed to have immediately after lovemaking.  With all the
    ego inflating, big headed nerve I can muster, I am going to say
    that I can't possibly perceive any truer, more favorable conditions
    than the above that qualify in molding a true modern day Valentino
    lover. :^ )  Go ahead and flame, but heat is a by-product of my
    ardor. (Jeez, boy-oh-boy, a shoveler of fertilizer!) :^)  Bye now,
    Eros, the son of Aphrodite, leaves your presence.  
106.14I would hope he would say his new wife... :-)TORA::KLEINBERGERmisery IS optionalSun May 24 1987 12:2711
    Re: .11 and then ...
    RE: .12
    
    
    I would hope he will say "GKE"   :-)
    

    At least he should if he wants dinner tonight :-):-):-):-):-) and
    many more :-)'s...
    
    Gale_who_could_not_resist.....
106.15Gotta give credit where credit is due.BLITZN::AIKALABig Boys Naughty Toy: LamborghiniSun May 24 1987 13:198
    
    Re: .11, .14                  
                                   :^ (
    Ha! Great!  Naughty, naughty Richard.  Looks like that survey has come
    to an abrupt conclusion. :^ )  Where's GKE, so we know what country
    to credit with finalizing the International Surveyor's reporting? |^ )
                                       
    Sherman
106.16GCANYN::TATISTCHEFFMon May 25 1987 12:007
    re. heat comes from ardor...
    
    Pooey.  I like lovers who giggle before, during, and afterwards.
     It has got to be fun!   (nationality?  so far only americans laugh
    with me, but a limited survey has limited results...)
    
    Lee
106.17Remuons un peu la soupe de mes souvenirs...SHIRE::MILLIOTMimi, Zoziau, Vanille-Fraise &amp; CoMon May 25 1987 13:4422
    Pour ma part, mes amants les plus memorables furent :
    
    - Un Juif pur-fruit pur-sucre Francais (Rencontre d'une nuit...
      inoubliable)... je suis Juive aussi, et Belier;
    
    - Un petit Francais Scorpion (toujours mon ami.. tres patient et
      attentif; plein d'imagination...)

    - Un autre Francais (tout feu tout flamme... Dieu sait comme j'ai ete
      folle de lui !)

    
    A noter que je voyage peu.
    
    A noter egalement que les Suisses sont des amants tres decevants,
    pour la plupart.
    
    

    
    Zoziau
106.18TranslationGCANYN::TATISTCHEFFMon May 25 1987 14:4125
SHIRE::MILLIOT "Mimi, Zoziau, Vanille-Fraise & Co"   22 lines  25-MAY-1987 12:44
                -< Stir a little the soup of my memories...>-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    For my part, my most memorable lovers were :
    
    - A Jew pure French fruit and sugar (One night... unforgettable)
      I am a jew, too, and a Ram [er, is that Aries??]
    
    - A little french Scorpio (still my boyfriend.. very patient and
      attentive; plenty of imagination...)

    - Another Frenchman (all fire and flame... God knows how crazy I
      was about him !)

    Note that I don't travel much.

    Note also that the Swiss are very deceptive [disappointing] lovers,
    for the most part.

    [Shouldn't say things like that in an international file, Zoziau]
   
    
    Zoziau
106.19well...STUBBI::B_REINKEthe fire and the rose are oneMon May 25 1987 18:398
    My own personal experience is that a man who is patient, and
    kind, and understanding, and loves me...(and who I have loved
    now for over 20 years) is the best lover for me. (and with a bit
    of a blush - a girl friend of mine who was for more adventurous
    than I am once told me that the thing she liked best in a man
    was a pointed tongue,) (ulp :-})
    
    BJ
106.20node node::userRITZ::GKEfrom a *new* side of the pond!Tue May 26 1987 12:2715
    
    .11
    cute!
    .12
    thanks Gale!
    .14
    American.. red, white and blue.. depending on where ya look!
    just doing my part to preserve the relations between the colony
    and the empire! ;-)
                       
    Richard dear.. do ya 'spose you could keep ya boastings contained
    to the pub where I don't hear them!
                       
    gailann
    
106.21I don't understand the title of the last note!RITZ::RKEYou can take your Vax and....Tue May 26 1987 12:488
>    Richard dear.. do ya 'spose you could keep ya boastings contained
>    to the pub where I don't hear them!
                       
 	One, of course, is forced to admit that the survey has been
	shelved, for a while.......however if there is enough interest 
	out there in the possible conclusions?

Richard.
106.22American for me.TRACER::FRASHERUndercover mountain manFri May 29 1987 13:0412
    I prefer American.  (And this from a Toyota owner)
    
    An American woman and I share the same feelings, the same culture,
    and no language barrier.  Of course, an American could be any of
    Japanese-American, Mexican-American, African-American, etc.  I do
    tend away from women from the coasts because of the differences
    in cultures, I.E. "What's a T?" or "When I said 'stud', I was talking
    about a horse." or "What in the hell did you do to your hair???"
    As far as the sexual part of it, ask someone else.  My survey consists
    of only one woman, an American.  Not very conclusive, eh?
    
    Spence
106.23Irish Eyes _ARE_ Smiling ;^}TOPDOC::STANTONI got a gal in KalamazooSun May 31 1987 18:176
    
    I ended my survey in 1979. I'm Irish-American, Aquarian, former
    Roman Catholic. The result: Irish-American spouse, Virgo, former
    Roman Catholic. We former RCs, knowing damnation, feel we have
    nothing to lose!
    
106.24MUNICH::CLINCHDon&#039;t just do something, be there.Thu Jun 11 1987 12:1521
re .0                                                                 
	What is meant by the best lover?  The person who can feel love the
	most effectively and beneficially to both parties,
	or the person who would get top marks for artistic and technical
	ability in a sort of sexual gymnastics event?  Or both?

	There are several jokes on the lines of "What is the difference
	between Heaven and Hell"  One of the answers is:
	"In Heaven you get a Japanese wife,  a French mistress and English
	children.  In Hell you get an English wife,  a Japanese mistress
	and American children."  I won't tell you some of the others!

re .13
	According to some authorities Chinese sign is dominant over zodiac sign.
	In other words the Chinese sign is coloured by the zodiac sign and
	neither should be considered in isolation.  If my memory serves
	me correctly,  Cats/Rabbits made the best friends,  Dragons the
	best lovers and Pigs the best long term partners.  (A chinese
	Pig is a very good sign and does not suffer from Western connotations).

Simon.
106.26sigh..so trueSTUBBI::B_REINKEthe fire and the rose are oneThu Jun 11 1987 23:513
    re .24 - I just read that to my husband and elder son.. they
    both laughed (taking time out from the Celtics)
    BJ
106.27sure was!VORTEX::JOVANliving on the edgeFri Jun 12 1987 14:045
.25

Great Year!

Angeline
106.28Employing techniquePRANCR::AIKALAOrchestral Manuevers in the DarkSun Jun 14 1987 08:5052
    re: .24 - answering your re: .0
    
    Best lover, of course, can only be rated by the lovee, not the lover.
    I know, I know, the topic title is "I am the Best Lover...", but
    that's what she told me :^ ).  That isn't me rating myself.  Of
    course, to be fair (I always am), she did say The Best Lover she
    has come to know.  I am not with her today, so I am sure that there
    have been many new soft, er, hardware version updates.  Unless she's
    married, then she has found The Ultimate Best Lover she has ever
    known.
    
    To answer your question, I would have to say both.  I disagree with
    the "trying to get top marks reasoning".  I do agree with comliments 
    however, and I do mean comliments that were unsolicited, (How was I?).
    I'll labor (labor of love) for a comliment anyday.
    
    Technique would play it's own role in a lover's attributes.  I was
    once involved with a woman who bestowed her type of preference
    on me when dancing in the sheets.  She would not relate to any
    position where she could not see my face.  This was a thorough set
    back for me, because think about it, how many variations can there
    possibly be where you will remain face to face with your lover?
    She also did not want any type of body separation, i.e., she
    wanted body pressed to body, ankles, knees, pelvis, stomach, chest,
    etc., all had to touch.  Very restrictive.  However you have to
    understand, as she made me understand, she was a fanatic for closeness.
    
    Okay, as far as positions go, I will relate that under the title
    of Artistic, as you mentioned.  You can get very creative and almost
    make artistic statements when it comes to positions.  So when you
    have positions yanked out from under you as it was for me with the
    above woman, you have to compensate with technique.  Now I don't
    mean to sideline the feeling of love throughout all of this.  That
    should always be present during sex in order to enhance your
    dimensions.   So by removing the aspect of artistic ability, I was
    able to double the technique aspect, benefitting her and me simul-
    taneously.  I benefitted more so than her since I had to make up
    for a gap I was not used to, and I learned a few things I hadn't
    known before.  But maybe, just maybe, she did benfit from our time
    together.
    
    During the course of our relationship, we pursued the "open mind"
    philosphy.  And it was through this avenue that I was able to
    open her up to a whole new world of "Arthur Murray at Midnight". :^)
    I was able to help her understand, that to disappear from before
    ones eyes during lovemaking does not lower the intimacy level.
    Rather, it might even elevate, by causing one to use the minds eye,
    the sense of touch, hearing, and smell.  All which brings you on
    a closer cosmic relativity to the rythm of your lovers heart.
    
    Sherman
    
106.29BSS::BLAZEKA new moon, a warm sum...Fri Jan 01 1988 21:2624
    re: .17 (Zoziau)

    >>  Note also that the Swiss are very deceptive [disappointing] lovers,
    >>  for the most part.
    
    	Er, um, my boyfriend of 2.5 years is Swiss!!!  You'll have to
    	take my word that he is one of the exceptions to your statement.  
    	=8*)  The majority of Swiss men, though, are very reserved.
    
    	I'd like to do a personal role reversal for a moment and say 
    	that from an "observational" standpoint only, Italian women (in
    	Italy, not America) are definitely the sexiest, most alluring.
    	(And no, I'm not Italian, I'm Czech.)
    
    	Sweeping Statement:  I think Americans (generally) are overly
    	concerned with their own looks, and spend too much time trying
    	to cover up themselves in makeup and "fads."  Sexuality is
    	inherent, not applied!!  The *best* lovers are people who are
    	confident and happy with themselves and who allow me to be with 
    	*them* instead of with an image or an icon.  In my experience, 
    	western Europeans are the best (using this criteria).
    	
    						Carla
    
106.30CEODEV::FAULKNERGOD, drives a camaro.Sat Jan 02 1988 16:472
    re.29
    Wrong!