| Review from MIS Week 4/13
Women are still taught to be sexually cautious until two to nine
conditions are met. On the other hand, men are socialized to want
sex as long as only one condition is met.
The first four conditions are attraction, respect, emotions, and
intellect. To these, they may add singleness and status/success.
And, beyond these, the men may have to take the lead in asking her
out, paying the tab and risking rejection by initiating the first
kiss, being the first to hold hands, and so on. For men, physical
attraction is the only condition that must be fulfilled.
Warren Farrell makes this statement in his book, "Why Men Are the
Way They ARe: The Male/Female Dynamic," (McGraw-Hill, $19.95).
He has been a college professor, a teacher of psychology and sociology
and is now at UCLA's School of Medicine, San Diego.
In over 20 years, the author, a PH.D. has formed more than 300 men's
and 300 women's workshops.
Accordiing to Farrell, "Women end up finding few men who have the
combination of qualities that leads to their total sexual fulfillment,
which makes them sexually powerless. Men feel as if their expectations
are so much lower than women's - for them, remember, there's only
one condition."
Farrel submits illustrations of "traditional sexism:"
Devious men are considered shrewd, devious women, scheming.
Angry men are called outraged; angry women, hysterical. Forceful
men are charismatic, forceful women, domineering. Obstinate men
are strong-willed, obstinate women, stubborn.
When men have pictures of children on their office desk, it's a
sign of a loving father. For women who do the same, it indicates
that they don't take their work seriously.
The author defines "the new sexism:"
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence;
when men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of comittment.
An unemployed mother is a dedicated parent; an unemployed father,
a bum."
Farrell asks men and women "not to judge the other sex until they
have walked a mile in the other sex's moccasins."
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