| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 111.1 | | TALLIS::NELSON | It's not the years it's the mileage! | Wed Feb 07 1996 09:39 | 55 |
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> I have always been curious to why people put such an emphasis on
> appearance ?
Some do, some don't. Regardless of how much emphasis someone does
or does not put on this, I *do* think a mutual attraction is necessary.
My guess as to why some folks put more on it is because those are the
same folks who are themselves considered "Very Attractive". Their own
looks are what is most important to them, so that's what they look for
in others. It's what they relate to and understand. Personality?
Most likely it isn't as well developed in themselves, so why would they
look for it in someone else? Of course, this is *not* universally
true, I've met some very attractive women with great personalities
(always married of course ;-)).
> For example...." Phyiscally Attractive " people seem to always be
> ' in- demand ', so to speak.
I suppose so. Although I've noticed as I got older that people are
more likely to wise up and look for other things as well. Myself, I
tend to shy away from those types. It's my theory that they never had
to develop their personality as much as the rest of us because they
could rely on their looks, by and large.
> While other folks who are average-looking are pushed away, in a sense.
Personally, I *like* the average type. They're the ones that
usually are the most fun to be around and the best personalities. If
someone pushes *me* away, and I feel it's due to something superficial
like looks, I just walk away secure in the knowledge that this isn't
someone that I would've wanted to be with for the rest of my life
anyway!
> Doesn't one's personality matter to ANYONE these days ? Or is it the
> way one " looks " that determines how well they'll do in life ?
No way, I don't believe that looks are the sole determinant for how
happy one will be in life. Develop a good personality, a great sense
of humor, and be a good person in general and you can always find folks
who are willing to overlook minor deficiencies (very few of us don't
have at least *one*!). I believe there's someone for everyone -- and
in fact multiple someones. You may need a pick-axe, compass, and
divining rod to *find* them, but that's another story. ;-)
Brian
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| 111.2 | | MAL009::RAGUCCI | | Thu Feb 08 1996 21:39 | 6 |
| yes they do
BR
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| 111.3 | | TLE::PHILLIPS | | Fri Feb 09 1996 14:52 | 9 |
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Obviously, if a person doesn't have the "problem" where looks is real important,
then they have more of a chance of finding someone they feel comfortable with.
Also, if you are "good looking", there is a better chance you will fall into
that window of acceptance of the person you are interested in.
I think most of us would agree that "looks" only gets your foot in the door
and it will not keep two people together who are otherwise incompatible.
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| 111.4 | | FABSIX::K_KAMAR | | Sun Feb 11 1996 12:01 | 8 |
| 111.5 | | SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI | He's no lackey!! He's a toady!! | Mon Feb 12 1996 16:40 | 14 |
|
As in the animal kingdom, looks do matter. You can take any species and
see that certain characteristics/traits/colorings are used in the
attraction of the opposite sex for the reason of procreation.
It is no different for man. Cologne, make-up, dress.. all are geared
to attract the opposite sex...
As with the lower animals, those with the brightest, most colorful,
handsomest/prettiest plummage get to have their genes carried on...
Same with man...
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| 111.6 | Depends on if you're 'visual' | CSC32::J_KILLA | | Wed Feb 21 1996 19:35 | 41 |
| I read a couple of books a while back on neuro-linguistics that talk about
how people perceive the world differently based on four basic methods.
Many (most?) are visual and so appearance is very important to them -
the physical appearance of themselves and others, their homes, their
cars. They tend to say things like "I see what you mean" to represent
understanding.
Some are auditory and more tuned into the sounds around them. To them
a person who has what they consider a sexy voice will be much more
appealing than someone who may have a better physical appearance but
an irritating voice. They tend to say things like "I hear you" to
signal understanding.
Some are what they called sensual in that they perceive and rely on
an inner sense (intuition). They are also more in tune with the sense of
touch. They will be more interested in how clothing feels than how it
looks and they'll tend to say things like "I feel I understand what
you say." There's one more but now I can't remember what it is. I
think its people who reply on logic.
It used to bother me that it seemed like so many people rely more on
what someone looks like than who they are. But I really believe now
that it depends on how they sense the world and that its not really
something you learn, you are born with it. That's not to say that
visual people can't learn to like someone who is not a perfect physical
specimen but I don't think they can change something as basic as
physical attraction and what they find sexually appealing.
So I never notice what people wear (it's hard enough to remember what I
wore) cuz I'm more interested in how they 'feel'. I wear clothes that
feel good and don't really care if they are in style or not. My
husband, on the other hand, will not walk out of the house if a hair is
out of place. I've learned not to pick out clothes for him and that
if I'm concerned about how I look I need to take him or one of more
visual friends with me when I go shopping. Since I'm not visual I put
very little importance on what a person looks like but it doesn't
bother that someone else does.
My 2 cents,
Jane
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| 111.7 | | ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI | Your mind is in here and mine is also | Thu Feb 22 1996 10:26 | 5 |
|
The 4th one would be taste/smell. I dont know the proper word for
it.
Joe
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| 111.8 | y | TALLIS::NELSON | It's not the years it's the mileage! | Fri Feb 23 1996 10:55 | 23 |
|
>Obviously, if a person doesn't have the "problem" where looks is real important,
>then they have more of a chance of finding someone they feel comfortable with.
>Also, if you are "good looking", there is a better chance you will fall into
>that window of acceptance of the person you are interested in.
All true.
>I think most of us would agree that "looks" only gets your foot in the door
>and it will not keep two people together who are otherwise incompatible.
Yes, except I don't think the folks in Hollywood have figured this
out yet. ;-)
Brian
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| 111.9 | | TALLIS::NELSON | It's not the years it's the mileage! | Fri Feb 23 1996 10:58 | 18 |
|
> It prooves that there ARE still folks out there who are NOT
> superficial. 8-)
Superficial is a relative thing. No doubt by someone else's
standards I *am* superficial.
> I sure wish there were more people out there just like you. ;^)
I'm not sure this is such a great wish. ;-) Although in this area
I have no doubt there are lots of folks who share similar views.
Brian
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| 111.10 | | TALLIS::NELSON | It's not the years it's the mileage! | Fri Feb 23 1996 11:01 | 25 |
|
> As in the animal kingdom, looks do matter. You can take any species and
> see that certain characteristics/traits/colorings are used in the
> attraction of the opposite sex for the reason of procreation.
> It is no different for man. Cologne, make-up, dress.. all are geared
> to attract the opposite sex...
> As with the lower animals, those with the brightest, most colorful,
> handsomest/prettiest plummage get to have their genes carried on...
> Same with man...
Say *what*?! First of all, by the definition in your next to last
paragraph only supermodels and guys from GQ would be reproducing, and
this is clearly not the case (thank goodness)! Secondly, I always
thought it was man's ability to reason that separated us from the
animal kingdom. Yes, looks do have an effect but let's not carry it
too far.
Brian
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| 111.11 | | SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI | Lord of the Turnip Truck | Fri Feb 23 1996 11:10 | 16 |
| re: .10
> Say *what*?! First of all, by the definition in your next to last
>paragraph only supermodels and guys from GQ would be reproducing, and
>this is clearly not the case (thank goodness)! Secondly, I always
>thought it was man's ability to reason that separated us from the
>animal kingdom. Yes, looks do have an effect but let's not carry it
>too far.
"most" of course, in a descending order.. and "by definition", it
seems to me to be your extrapolation, not mine.
Secondly, reason has nothing to do with hormones and animal attraction.
For example, the "ability to reason" seems to be negated when looking
at the number of unwanted pregnancies around the world...
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| 111.12 | | FABSIX::K_KAMAR | | Mon Feb 26 1996 18:31 | 4 |
| 111.13 | | SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI | Lord of the Turnip Truck | Tue Feb 27 1996 09:52 | 8 |
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Can you say "anomaly"????
:) :)
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