| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 100.1 | | QUARK::LIONEL | Free advice is worth every cent | Sat Jul 29 1995 13:10 | 3 |
| We don't all agree.
Steve
|
| 100.2 | | WRKSYS::MACKAY_E | | Mon Jul 31 1995 16:07 | 17 |
|
re .0
To me individualization means - I was born with different
talents\aptitudes, I was raised in a different family setup,
I was given different opportunities, I was faced with different
life choices, all this and more made me a unique person, ie.
an individual, with unique likes, dislikes and priorities.
I don't see why an individual cannot be part of a family.
If two individuals have similar values and life goals, then
there is no sacriface. The big thing in being part of a
family (here as partners and parents) is the committment
and the consideration of others' needs.
Eva
|
| 100.3 | | TP011::KENAH | Do we have any peanut butter? | Mon Jul 31 1995 16:28 | 14 |
| >>We all agree that we cannot change the dynamics
>>of our family, but would like to so we all
>>can live in harmony.
Sounds manipulative, and controlling;
sounds like the only harmony you want
to live in is yours.
Is that selfish, when individuation is suppose(d)
to be celebrated?
Individualism has nothing to do with
what you're describing.
|
| 100.4 | no: | MAL009::RAGUCCI | | Mon Jul 31 1995 20:45 | 16 |
|
No, reply.3
I don't want to push my life on anyone, & I don't
want theirs pushed on me. How is that selfish?
And Yes, I do want to live in harmony with myself
and others as well.
How is that controlling?
please, explain.
thank-you!
|
| 100.5 | | ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI | Your mind is in here and mine is also | Thu Aug 03 1995 15:37 | 18 |
|
You can change the dynamics of your family. Leave - that'll upset
the 'ol mobile considerably! It'll be swinging all over the place as
everyone adjusts and recompensates for ...the fact that *you're not
there anymore*!
You can also do it by changing yourself, which is much harder than
a simple abandonment, BTW. You can change your reactions to responses
that no longer "fit" the dynamic - when it's wide open for something
that never comes. Hangs the whole machine.
You can also "learn to live with it" otherwise known as acceptance.
While that wont affect any change into the family dynamic it will
afford you the "harmony with yourself" you're seeking.
This is from the "Accept it, Change it or Leave" choice model.
Joe
|
| 100.6 | | MAL009::RAGUCCI | | Thu Aug 03 1995 19:55 | 8 |
|
Joe;
how true that is, thanks.
BR
|
| 100.7 | A way. | VAXSPO::HAMILTON | | Thu Aug 17 1995 18:10 | 15 |
| Brian,
When I felt the need of changing myself, I looked for a psychologist.
(This was about three years ago.)
This was the better thing I ever did to myself and I do believe that
everybody should go through terapy.
Reg. MY family, I left, but with no hard feelings as I can see both
sides of an emotional situation, I mean, I can imagine or feel the
same way other people do, instead of fantasizing.
Good luck,
Ham.
|