|
Re - anon.
It sounds to me like she's in a lot of emotional pain, quite possibly
around the situation you described concerning her biological father.
People often turn to drugs as a way to self-medicate their emotional
pain; once "convinced" that doing drugs is effective - as in _It_doesnt_
hurt_as_much_when_I'm_"numb"_ - it can take a lot to convince someone that
there's a viable alternative.
Things you can do...there's something called a "family
intervention" that could have a positive effect on her attitude and
outlook. I know that they are often facilitated professionally by a
couselor who's well versed in "family systems" and addiction. I'd
suggest finding a professional, presenting them with this problem and
asking about getting something set up for everyone.
Joe
|
| Tell your sister to go to Alanon...they will help her to cope.
There are people there who have been through it. They know what works
and what doesn't work. Also places to go and things to try.
I know it isn't easy, but the girl is over 20 and she is going to do
whatever it is that she is going to do. If she is into drugs she
will lie and cheat to get them. Also you can't say it's someone else
to blame. They have influence I'm sure, but these problems started
way way way before now.
One other thing you can do is...pray for her...
There isn't an easy way out.
|
| Whatever happens from now on is not going to be easy. As was stated in
the previous note, there is not much you can do for someone who does
not want help. First off, make sure you and the others that are
in communication with each other are OK. The strength you find in each
other and in your faith in God(or your higher power) should be
reenforced and solidified. Only then can you begin to find peace
for yourselves and prepare yourself for the consequenses of this young
woman's life...if she ever comes back to you.
If she does, she will need to find unconditional love, but not
acceptance for What she has been doing. She must also find strength
and acceptance for her from several angles. It is possible that no
single person among you will be seen as having all the answers or will
be someone she might want to spend a lot of time with only...at first.
Getting to know her will be a whole different experience for everyone
because none of you will be the same and you cannot have it the way it
was.
If she doesn't come back, you need to have your strength to deal with
what comes. It is very difficult to deal with consequences when a
family member is involved. However, you are dealing with a person
who is intertwined with other people-all who are free to make their own
decisions, right or wrong. You cannot predict how or what will happen.
It is easy to think the worst, but even if that happens, you have to
have prepared yourselves to be dependent on each other and your faith
to get you through. Again, as a previous noter said, people at Al-anon
collectively have been there and are working their way through similar,
and sometimes worse situations. There is strength in sharing and
learning and listening. It is incredible what you can get through
when you find others to help.
Finally, intervention works in some instances, but it has to be
organized and you have to have some way of finding and scheduling the
person and the support professionals to be in the same place at the
same time.(Three Sunday's ago, in the Parade section of the Boston
Globe, they had a profile on Pat Summeral(sp?) and it noted that 9 of
his loving friends had surrounded him and gotten him to a retreat where
he resisted, but found freedom from his dependency and that it
saved/changed his life.) If you are not in contact with this young
woman, that could be difficult, but seek out a professional and find
one that has experience with this before contemplating it.
No matter what you do, remember, it is her life and she may be using
this to get back at something or to beg for love, or to run...or just
may be addicted and can't break it by herself. You cannot really tell
from a distance and if she is addicted, you cannot control it or change
it without some significant crisis or opportunity for intervention.
Until then, pray, and we pray with you.
Jim
|