Conference quark::human_relations-v1

From a recent study on relationships, if one partner commented on at least one
good thing each day in that relationship, has better odds at long and successful
friendship or marriage.

The examples were simple, ' you look really nice today', 'that was an excellent
meal', 'the lawn looks great', etc....

It seems we all forget the little things and take them for granted.

John

    Last December I was at a mall doing Christmas shopping.  I had, as
    usual, waited until the week before to finish up my shopping.  The mall
    was packed with people rushing all over the place - somehow the holiday
    spirit was not showing through on a lot of the faces I saw.  
    
    I was carrying some bags and looking at something in a shop window when
    I bumped into someone walking the other way.  I had just bumped his
    arm but I said, "Excuse me".  The man stopped, turned around and
    said "Thank you for saying excuse me, I haven't met many polite people
    today.  Have a nice Christmas."
    
    I was glad I had been polite to him, especially since it seemed to make 
    him happy. I appreciated his taking a moment to thank me and wish me a 
    nice Christmas.  It is funny how something small like this has a rippling
    effect.  I know that I was aware of using good manners the rest of that
    day.  He was probably watching his manners too.  The ripple probably went 
    on to others who I might have been a little nicer or politer to than usual.
    
    Regards,
    
    Mary
    
    

    Just a few weeks ago I was leaving a store and an elderly woman was not
    far behind me.  I held the door open and waited for her to exit.  She
    said "aren't you nice to hold the door for me" and she seemed
    surprised.  After, I thought how sad it was that she should be so
    surprised at what I always thought was common courtesy.
    
    Marie

    do we have to go back to last Christmas or a few weeks ago to remember
    something nice someone did?
    
    is it really that bad?
    
    
    tony

    No! Just at the Copy machine & let the gentleman who came by to use the
    machine to make 3 copies of one page use the machine first!

A couple of weeks ago in a parking lot, I unlocked the passenger side of the car
and open/closed the car door for my girl friend. At the same time a women two
cars over rolled down her window and said 'It's nice to see that chivalry is not
completely dead'.

I gather that her boy friend/husband does not extend her the same courtesy,
something that I do automatically.

On the other hand, I've had women who have frowned upon having a door opened for
them and gone out of there way to open another adjacent door. Seems like you
can't please everyone (at the local mall).

John

    ...just letting someone out into traffic gets weird looks...:-P
    
    B.

    	Little things go a long way.  I was home on sat night watching a
    video with my girlfriend when my X-nephew stopped by.  He brought a
    friend and both were quite drunk.  When I met them at the door I was
    greeted with, "How the F*k are ya?" and "F*k this and that" when they
    realized my girl was there.  They both turned red and apologized to her
    and I for their foul language and were 'truly' embarassed.  I know it
    doesn't sound like much but that apology meant a lot to me.  
    
    							George

    I guess little things do go a long way in making or breaking the day.
    If we do choose to do a little good act every day - it will make our
    lives richer as well as spreading happiness all around.
    
    We should also remember that a man gets the best treatment in the world
    at home - from his own folks; and where probably he puts forth his
    worst manners. Home is a good place to start with those little things.
    unfortunately, when we come to expect something in return, we come to
    grief. That's why being good to a stranger is easier becuase we expect
    nothing in return. Just a thought. Do you agree?
    
    vj

I had a really bad day yesterday.. late trains, lost season ticket, future 
lodger backing out two days before he was due to move in - and to top it all
I had left my diary at work so I didn't have my boyfriends weekday number on
me...

I phoned a friend of his to try and get the number, but he didn't have it 
either.

He realised I was upset and 20 mins later turned up to take me out for a drink..


Not a big thing... but appreciated.



Xtine

This week's Newsweek has an "guest opinion" column which tells the story of
a young boy who found an envelope containing $600 on the street.  He could have
kept it and nobody would have been the wiser, but he did the honest thing and
turned it in to the bank whose name was on the envelope.  The bank tracked down
the owner and returned the money.  Though the kid did not expect any reward, the
owner gave him $3.  Though the kid didn't mind at all, the parishoners at his
family's church apparently thought this was "not enough" and raised $150 to give
to the kid as a reward.

Now tell me, what is the lesson here?  Are we supposed to do good deeds in
expectation of a reward, or because they're the right thing to do?  Parents today
bribe their kids for bringing home good grades, or sharing in household
responsibilities, they tell their kids they can have ice cream if they eat their
spinach (this was something the Newsweek writer mentioned).  Does everything
have to have a physical reward nowadays?

					Steve

    re: .11 (Steve)
    
         You should do things because you *want* to do things.  You
    should do things because you have certain principles and because
    you have enough character to implement those principles.  You
    should do things because you have enough of a dream of what an
    ideal reality would be like that you will work towards living
    that dream, integrating trust and honesty.  You should do things
    because you've met your needs and you are now anticipating 
    fulfilling your preferences.
         You learn to do things because you *can* have all you want,
    you *can* experience a world of abundance.  The world *can* be
    a positive, loving, and nurturing place and will express that
    in tangible manifestations.  You learn that manipulations and
    exploitations not only hurt others but eventually hurt yourself,
    so you learn to give because there is love attached to it.  
    Similarly, you learn that it is harder to receive than it is to
    give, but that if you open yourself up to receiving, the gifts
    and happinesses will be there...freely acknowledged without strings
    of guilt or compensation.  
         
          The parishoners were, in my mind, guilty of judgementalness.
    They would have been in line had they chosen to honor the child because
    of heroic principles...but not because he had been "slighted." 
    Nobilizing struggle (the child's "sacrifice") is not an answer to
    giving and receiving.  What they did was fine...their motivation for
    what they did was not.
                                                         
    Frederick
    

    Steve,
    
    Your story reminds me of an incident which happend to me once.  I lost 
    my wallet on a bike ride once in L.A.  a week later it turned up in the 
    mail with a note attached as follows.
    
    Dear Mr. Hogge,
    
    My son found your wallet on the street last week and as he did the
    honest thing and decided to place it in the wallet, I felt I would 
    enclose this note asking you to suitably reward him for doing what was 
    right.  I feel a reward of $25.00 would be worth the return of your 
    wallet.  His address is...
    
    Thank you for your considerations,
    
    and signed by the boys father.
    
    
    I was angered by the note, and wrote the father telling him so.  I also 
    broke down and sent the boy $5.00 for his troubles as I felt he may not 
    have turned the wallet it to make money.  
    
    I asked the father what type of values he was trying to teach his son
    by enclosing the note in the first place.  I still get angery when I
    think about it.
    
    But I'm getting off subject.
    
    The little things- I was walking to the car with several bundles the
    other day and it was questionable as to if I'd make it or not.  A guy 
    going into the store with a cart stopped and gave me his cart to use 
    even though I told them there weren't any available inside the store.  
    He insisted it would be okay and went his marry way.
    
    I think I was stupified by it.  
    
    Skip

    I think it is appropriate to thank people for help or a kind deed.
    
    People are motivated by a lot of different things...I am not going 
    to question why someone does something, if it is something I like
    and I think a gift is in order I am going to do it.
    
    A small nit around grades, a very wise noter when asked why her
    daughter was not responsible for more of the household chores
    responded "Her father and I feel that her job is to study and get
    good grades in school."  When their daughter performs her job well
    she gets rewarded and praised just as we do at work when we do a
    good job.
    
    The reward system is often put down, but it is clearly the motivation
    of the masses (IMHO).  How many of us can say that we act based on 
    real desire to do what is right?  Even in doing what is right there
    are rewards.

    I think we learn quite early about rewards.  It's how rats and animals
    are trained to do what we want them to do.  I don't think people,
    young, old or inbetween are much different.

    
    
    re a few back (sorry!!)
    
    You're right about the little things at home and how we don't seem to
    do enough thank enough.
    
    Yup. Makes me realize all of the 'little' things that my husband does
    and has always done that I never took the time to say thanks for.....
    like being late for work to gather the trash and get it outside so that
    I won't have to...
    or keeping the kids busy when I've had a particularly ucky day and need
    some peace...
    or listening (endlessly!) when I need to dump.  
    a
    so I'll take the time now!  Thanks Steve!! 
    
    Cat

I just have to add my .02 worth;


I just got off of 495 south, which I drive everyday to work, so this is fresh 
in my mind!  

I was in the far left lane when I realized that my exit was less than a 1/2 mile
so I begen to cut over so I could take my exit.  I put on my right directional 
and moved into the middle lane, then I looked to my right and saw a car beside 
me and another one a few car lengths back behind her.  So I waited for the car 
beside me to move up and then I began to cut over.  But as I was cutting over 
the car a few car lengths back sped up attempting to make me pull in behind her,
if I did, I would have missed my exit, so I just pulled in.  this lady then 
pulled right up on my a*s and followed me off the ramp.(this was her exit also)
I slowed down to take a left and she continued by me on the right with her 
middle finger high in the air!

All the way into the office I was thinking about this note, how little things 
mean alot, and at that time it hit me, not only do little nice things mean 
alot, but little crule things do also.

anyway, I just wanted to tell the lady who told me to FU*K OFF at 7:30 in the 
morning,  thank you! because the next time I think to do that to someone maybe
I'll think twice.  (or maybe not) ;^)


Joe

    Well, this is a new one for me.... DEC specifically the shipping
    department at Merrimack just purchased me a jacket and gloves because 
    I work in an "outside" environment what with having to open my bay
    doors for deliveries all the time.  The last company I worked for as a 
    shipper/receiver left it to me to take care of such needs.  It was
    kinda of nice to realize that they still think about the "small guy"
    and his environment.  They didn't HAVE to spend the money on the jacket
    or gloves.  It kinda restores my faith in the idea that DEC is a
    "people" company.  Especially what with all the problems recently with 
    lay offs and complaints.
    
    Skip

    
    Skip, how nice!   It was so nice to read - something positive - about 
	DEC.

	keep warm,

	Mikki

    re .11 and a few others in the same vein
    
    As an over-50 and having grown up before the "permissive generation",
    we were taught that there were duties for which there was no rewared. 
    Just do it because it's the price of admission to the human race.  I
    guess that kind of thinking is dead, now.  The answer to those who
    believe children have to be bribed is "Didn't you ever teach him or her
    about 'duty'?"

    This morning while I was on my way to work a *white* *male* driving a
    *Mercedes* stopped and let me, in my beat-up Chevy Sprint, in front of him
    in a long line of traffic.  
    
    First, I thought, that's encouraging when a white male driving a
    Mercedes will still take the time to be polite to somebody driving one
    of the cheapest cars on the road.  Then, I thought, well, he probably
    doesn't have to worry about getting into work late anyway! :-)
    
    But, whatever, the reason, it's always nice to get a small reminder
    that people are still capable of being civil to one another.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    well, this morning on my way to work a *white* *woman* ran a stop sign
    so that she could get in front of me, coming down a hill at about 40,
    and then proceeded to drive erratically at @20 mph *under* the speed
    limit all the way here to mr1. 

    and she let lots of folks out of side streets too.

    seriously, this is a great note, but i think bringing driving etiquette
    into it is gonna take it into a rathole. Something different happens to
    people when they are surrounded by a ton of steel. 
                

    I can't resist replying to this topic. My fiance is always doing the
    little things that help make our relationship fun to be in. One that
    sticks in my mind: 
    Jon is a private pilot and has his own plane. We were fly back late one
    night from his relatives house, it was going to be about a 90 minute
    flight. It was a cold night and I was very sleepy (it was after
    midnight). As we flew home I was nodding off with my chin propped in my
    hand,(there are no head rests). Jon took his leather jacket off and 
    slipped it between my head and the window, I smiled and fell asleep. I
    thanked him when we landed for his thoughtfulness, especially
    considering it was quite chilly. It would never have occurred to him,
    not to have done that. 8^)
    
    Gail 

>>      <<< Note 1212.20 by PULPO::BELDIN_R "Pull us together, not apart" >>>
                                   -< duty >-
>>    Just do it because it's the price of admission to the human race.  I
>>    guess that kind of thinking is dead, now.  The answer to those who
>>    believe children have to be bribed is "Didn't you ever teach him or her
>>    about 'duty'?"

	Just so you know, that "kind of thinking" isn't dead !!   At least,
	not in my house and not with my friends raising children.

	I have an almost-7 year old.  He has his jobs around the house
	because he lives there too and is learning to help out and take
	care of his own stuff.  He doesn't get rewarded for making his
	bed, clearing the dinner table, folding his laundry - he's EXPECTED
	to do these things because this is his home too.  He doesn't get
	monetary rewards for grades because I don't think that's fair - if
	I give him $$ for A's, what do I do ? Take it AWAY because he got
	a D ??  As long as he's honestly doing the best he can and trying,
	that's what's important !

	Re : the monetary reward notes for turning back wallet/money, I would
	show the person (young or old, child or adult) my ** appreciation **
	for the return in some way other than monetarily - maybe a nice
	thank you note, an invitation to join us in some activity.....but
	it definitely would be in the terms of showing my appreciation, not
	in terms of a reward !

	just my $.02
	Debbi J
	

    
    re .21
    
    why how unusual that an evil whiteman could actually stoop to being
    polite... better report him pronto..
    

    I have a question:  why are we so AMAZED by decency (otherwise termed
    manners, courtesy, unselfishness, generosity, non-barbarism, etc.)  It 
    has long been known that those traits alone are what separates man from
    the beasts.  Sometimes, I have known nicer beasts then men (women)/no
    gender differentiation.  
    
    In times gone by, long gone by, I'm afraid, the above attributes were
    the norm.  Now, we SUSPECT the motivations of people who simply still
    possess those anachronistic manners!!!  
    
    Well, I'm taking my manners out of the closet and dusting them off.  
    Maybe they're coming back into style.
    
    Then again, maybe it's just the full moon causing this deviant behavior
    outbreak---next week we'll all be rude again.   

    re .25, I know, huh?!!!!  That's what *I* thought!  :-)
    And driving a Mercedes no less! (It was the combination that got me.)
    
    I met the enemy and he was polite! :-) :-)
    
    (Then again he knows he runs the show, he can afford to let me go ahead
    of him..he knows who's really the boss.  Now a woman or a minority in a
    Mercedes woulda probably run me off the road. Their grasp on success
    being so much more tenuous and all.)
    
    Lorna
    

    re .16  Cathy,
    
    You beat me to it again!! I was going to reply to your base note and
    thank you for all the "little" things you do. 
    
    Like giving me the only ripe strawberry from the garden. Then there are
    the big "little" things. Like buying me a new racquet when you need the
    money for other things. And .....    well, you know.
    
    Thank you Cat.
    
    Steve 
         

    
    well you oughta get out more. there are plenty of exec and entreprenurial
    wimmin out hereabouts...
    
    they all don't drive mercedes either, one i know drives a toyot..

    As a Boston driver, I think I might know of another possibility
    for the action of the Mercedes driver...
    
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Rules of the road:
    
    1. The bigger vehicle goes first...
    2. The cheaper car goes first...
    3. The one who doesn't see the other goes first...
    
    Maybe it was number 2...the other driver had more to lose and chose
    to let you get ahead so you wouldn't get upset and try to hit
    his car. 
    
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Oh yeah...:-) :-) :-) :-)

    This note is great!  It's time we did start looking at the good things
    in life instead of all the bad.  
    
    Driving is probably the most easiest way to get away with being rude to 
    someone you don't know and (hope) you'll never meet eye to eye.
    I have to admit I have done this just this morning, BUT, because of one
    reason and I believe the only reason I am pushy when it comes to
    driving, that is,, (AM I sounding like Joe Biding?) there
    are quite a few areas especially at 5:00 rush hour, where there should be 
    lights.  Otherwise I'm sure that there would be no problems with
    cutting people off.
    
    Well, everynight going home I hit this area and always someone stops
    and lets me cut through.
    
    Another thing that I appreciate is that my boyfriend never fails to
    open the car door for me.  And it feels good when other people notice
    and mention this it me.  
    
    Have a good day!
    
    

    you know another place where people get rude and pushy to each other,
    much more so than they ever would in person? Notes. sometimes it amazes
    me. sure, names are attached to replies, but its still anonymous,
    somehow. 
    
    of course, not THIS conference! 8*o

re: .32,

Of course, not here or any other notes file....

>          <<< Note 1212.21 by DELNI::STHILAIRE "it's just a theory" >>>

	Is it just me, or did I detect a frame of reference in the
	note above that would land me in personnel if I turned
	it around to read something like:

	*black woman* in a *rusting VW* 

	or some such ?

	How about the follow up reply from the same author that 
	said something like:

	"maybe he just knew he was in charge" and "he knew who
	really made the rules."

	Steve H (who's not really offended, just puzzled at the double
			standard.....)

Re: .34

No, I see no double standard.  In my opinion, you could have "turned it around"
in the way you suggest with no problem.

				Steve

P.S.  Is it me or are people a lot touchier now than in the recent past?  I've
seen an alarming (to me) increase in the numbers of folk who seem to be
searching for things to take offense at.

I don't know that its so much taking offense...


my first thought when I read the note was - whats the reason behind pointing
out the driver was white....

I assumed it was to imply a stereotype... and I wondered if that was racist or
not... not being too up on these things I decided to see if anyone else would
question it - I'm surprised its took so long.




Xtine

    re .36, Xtine, I was making a joke...you know, humor...ha-ha.
    I was making fun of stereotypes.  In fact, I was making fun of *myself*
    for catching myself thinking in stereotypes.  Get it?
    
    Nevermind, I guess I'd better keep the day job.
    
    Lorna
    

I "got it", but I also know Lorna and I could easily see that it was meant
just how she described it.  Others may not have that advantage, but even so
I think that the reactions (I even got a complaint by mail) have been far out
of proportion to the "offense".

			Steve

I assumed (knowing the audience here is caring, non-racist etc) that it was 
a humourous thing rather than anything else, hence the reason I didn't say
anything...


but it did cross my mind it might not be acceptable to everyone... particularly
those who are "hot" on these issues...


as I said - I was surprised it took so long for someone to get offended and 
enter a note - the "you can't say that..." brigade are usually much quicker
off the mark... to the point I am always ultra careful to try not to say 
anything that might offend (difficult when you're as tactless as me!)



Xtine

    A few weeks ago my SO was sick. I stop at the drug store to pick up her
    prescription but there was none waiting. The doctor had called in to 
    another store. I went to the pay phone to called home and find out
    where to really pick up the prescription I had to wait for a business
    man that was making calls. He let me cut in to make my call and when he
    realized I was waiting for a return call he stayed off the phone till
    it came. Very kind of him!
    
    
    						Bob

	Hi folks,

	Just wanted to let everyone know I'm not offended.  It's
	nice to know Lorna was just teasing...

	However, I still find it odd that my remark generated a
	whole buncha eyeball-rolling, and yet similar remarks from
	"other groups" would result in sympathetic tongue-clucking.

	Curiouser and curiouser....

	Steve H

Re: .41

No offense, Steve, but what you're doing is what I call "Argument by fantasy."
You don't KNOW, do you, that "similar remarks by 'other groups' would result
in tongue-clucking"?  Maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't, but the context
is also important.

Besides, one could easily interpret a note of this nature as "I had previously
harbored some prejudices against people who were <whatever>, but now that I
see an example of how nice at least one such can be, my prejudices have
faded."   

				Steve

    Wayne,

    No, you are wrong, it was not 'male bashing pure and simple' it was, as 
    Lorna's later note confirmed, an example of a person dealing with their own
    stereotypes and being honest about it.

    The world could use a bit more of that sort of honest evaluation of
    personal feelings.
    
    Bonnie

     
    Ok, this is my first response in this note and I just want to say Thank 
    You.
    
    Thank you to all the Field Service Engineers who have made my short
    time here so enjoyable.  You guys/gals take time out of your busy day
    to be patient with a new (and not so new) person when calling in and
    also for trying to make the relationship between the FSE and CSR a
    little more "personal".  It really makes my day and make me WANT to
    come in to work each day!!!
    
    
    --raquel
    

Steve,

Just a quick comment, it seems to me you noticed the same thing I have recently
that for some unkonw reason lately people are starting to LOOK for things to 
get offended at.  I've been participating in another confrence and several 
of my comments have been singled out and refered to as being offensive to
various individuals when the intent was to illustrate a point being made,
by using an example.  In one case, several people twisted words around when 
I made a disclaimor about a comment as not reallying meaning to single a 
person out, but that there comment would work as an example all to well.
I was informed that, by making this disclaimor, I was in fact REALLY saying 
just the opposite.  

I don't know, seems like lately people are just waiting to start a good 
fight and dislike session with anyone and everyone.  Is the the phase of 
the moon? The chaning of the seasons? Or is there something in the water
that's making people irratable and looking for a fight?

Skip

    	Hey...What did ja mean by that??!!  Pal!!
    
    					GGRRRRRRR!!!

As it happens, I was talking to our group's Personnel Consultant this morning,
and he said that there has been a definite upwards trend in "off the wall"
behavior in notesfiles, and that this was a hot topic for discussion among
Personnel staff.  He suggested that part of it may be due to increasing
stress due to "hard times" and the layoff program.  I also see, not just
here at DEC but in the US society in general, a surge in males striking out
at who they perceive to be their "oppressors", in reaction to the heightened
awareness of sexual harassment.  It's anger and frustration at not really
understanding what's happening in the world, an inability to keep up with
changing ideas of what's acceptable and what's not.  This has already
filtered back to some men being unsure what part of their behavior is just
politeness and what could be considered harassment.

Going along with this are the increasing of women willing to speak out; some
of whom overly generalize and put otherwise innocent men on the defensive.

All I can say is that there are a lot of things changing, and everyone is bound
to find some level of discomfort in it.  There may be a reduction in politeness
and courtesy, at least until the "rules" get nailed down (if they ever do.)
We may have to just raise our tolerance for pain for a while.

				Steve

re. -1

	I agree, Steve.  I think alot of changes are taking place and 
	frustrations around the recession and lay-offs.  I see alot of
	people on the nightly news that are just plain HURT emotionally
	from not being able to support themselves or their families.
	Last night they said 1 out of 10 Americans are on food stamps.
	There is a lot of hurt festering..


	8-\

    I think some of this phenomenon is covered in the George Will article
    I posted as 1027.0  
    
    Sometimes its advantageous to posture oneself as the underdog.

>	I agree, Steve.  I think alot of changes are taking place and 
>	frustrations around the recession and lay-offs.  I see alot of

	I think this thinking is akin to the following scenario:

	An arsonist who's been setting fire to people's houses
	during the night is talking with a schoolteacher.  The
	teacher remarks that fewer students are showing up for
	class each day.

	The arsonist suggests that the problem is all the fire trucks
	that have been racing down the street are scaring the kids !

	To call the growing resistance against: male-bashing, denunciations
	of differing opinions as "homophobia", and Eastern Liberal
	orthodoxy simply a result of "frustrations around the 
	layoffs" is incredible.

	Sorry, but I'm just getting fed up with being cast as
	the greatest evil the world has known because of my skin color,
	sex, and sexual orientation.

	I don't think I'm alone here, either....

	Steve H

Re: .51

Where I think you're wrong is your perception that you're "being cast as
the world's greatest evil."  But I can understand how you may have come
to think that - it's a common enough defensive reaction when one thinks
they have been criticized.  (Even though you, personally, are not being
criticized at all.)

I do think we're finding a lot of people overreacting and overcorrecting,
on all sides of the issues, and tempers are naturally going to flare.  Cool
heads are what we need right now.

					Steve

>    one let us stop the denial, it does exist her in DEC and in the country
>    as a whole. While rushing to be sensitive to minority issues white males 
    
    Sorry, but as long as I disagree that it exists, I intend to deny it.
    It still appears to me that the only REAL issue that's been come up
    with is unfair divorce judgments. I agree that something should be done
    about that, but it hardly seems equivalent to genocide.
    
    Otherwise, all I hear are complaints about being treated the same way
    everyone else gets treated.  I still don't hear men-as-a-group unfairly
    bashed the way that I routinely hear men bash women-as-a-group. 
    
    Even in the sort of media trivia that's been dragged in here, all I see
    is applied blindness. I mean, claiming that the guy in "Thelma &
    Louise" was shot because of a woman being in a bad mood without
    mentioning that he'd just raped her?  Compare that to the number of
    women routinely mowed down in movies -- but that's OK, they're usually
    BAAAAAD women, right?
    
    And I note once again that Wayne has to resort to "whites are being
    bashed by minorities!" and "hets are being bashed by gays!" (two other
    statements I'd deny) to fill out his argument, while continuing to
    insist that he's only asking all males to band together against the
    common enemy, the great Satan, the mother of all evils -- WOMEN.
    
    (Except for Mom and the waitress down at the bowling alley. I mean,
    THEY seem OK...)
    
    Ray

Now that this topic has gone down a rat hole, the other day I picked up my girl
friend to take her out for some dinner. There is a place near where she lives
that knows what service is all about, and the staff understand the little things
which make your dining experience different.

Upon your arrival, a person opens the double door for you, your escorted to
your table, they ensure you are comfortable. You have your drinks taken care of
quickly, then your order is taken and arrives at just about the right pace. Your
not kept waiting nor are you rushed. Your wine glass is kept full and your
personal comfort and enjoyment are checked at each step. At the end of the meal,
you feel very comfortable and have really enjoyed the evening. It has always
been a great experience to dine in this place.

Not too many places know how to treat and make you feel like somebody, and get
service in which you are paying for. By doing the little things they do, the
whole experience warrants a return visit.

re. -1

	Please tell us the name of this wonderful place.....hummm
	sounds delicious

	thanks

re. -1,

The place is call the Olive Garden, located in Peterbourgh Ontario. There are
other locations, but not sure if they extend the same type of service in all
places. I am not even sure if this a Canadian only franchise or they are also
in the U.S..

re. -1,

	Oops, oh..ok.  The next time I am in Ont...;')

	thanks, anyway.  It's sound nice.

	Mikki

    
     The Olive Garden seems to be popping up all over the place. Two, that
    I know of, have opened in Colorado this past year.
    
     As an aside: except for opening the door, the service at these
    restaraunts was nothing that I wouldn't expect from any other
    establishment.
    
    TC
    

    re .57
    
    Th etwo Olive Garden's I know, Atlanta and Fort Myers, Fla are both
    also excellent.  Highly recommended.
    
    Dick

When it comes to resturant chains, service can vary from place to place. I
guess it all boils down to the staff and management of the place. There are good
ones and there are bad ones.

    Re. the base note
    
    Any of you noters ever been in the Boy Scouts?  I have.
    
    The Boy Scout slogan was (and presumably still is) "Do a good turn
    daily."  This means not a "duty" with expectation of a tip, fee or
    reward, but something above and beyond the call of duty.  I still try
    to live up to this slogan as best I can, having received MUCH
    encouragement from the Scoutmaster (who, coincidentally, was my father
    .....;).......) I still think it's a good idea.
    
    Re. resturants
    Granted that it's good business to be courteous, it still comes as a
    pleasant surprise when you find a resturant where the staff really give
    their best for you.  Every time I dine at Charley's in the Greendale
    Mall (worcester MA), I have gotten the absolute "red carpet" treatment
    from everyone.  The food is fine, the atmosphere great, but the service
    is 10 stars out of five!
    
    						--Eric--

    The point on the boy scouts is very true.  Unfortunatly, that is
    "in the olden days" when it wasn't 'geekish' to be a scout or even
    to do something nice for others. 
    
    I think it's great when someone says "sorry for bothering you" when
    they call the wrong number. 
    Seems the "thing to do" these days is to just hang up after verifying
    that they DID dial incorrectly.....
    
    Cathy 
    

    Cathy, you just reminded me of a nicety(sp?)...someone left a message
    on my answering machine saying just what you mentioned, they said,
    "Sorry, I dialed the wrong number", instead of just hanging up.  I was
    amazed and thought, that's great!
    
    -Dotti.

From the Who-Says-People-Don't-Do-Good-Deeds-Anymore Department:

I was expecting a FAX from someone the other day.  The sender got the
number right, but he used the wrong area code and didn't realize it.

Surprisingly, the number he mis-dialed is *also* a legitimate FAX number. 
The guy (in Wisconsin) who got my FAX forwarded it on to me (in New
Hampshire), with a note attached:

	Cathy

	I believe this was sent to me by mistake.  Our FAX numbers
	are very close.  I thought you would want to get this.

		Dave

I have no idea who Dave is, but it was very nice of him to do that, and it
brought a smile to my day -- so I sent a thank you FAX back to him.... :-)

-- Cathy

    
    .65
    
    great story!