Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    That ties in nicely with a recent realisation that I had....
    
    I've been feeling fed up with my work situation for a long time, and
    I've blamed it on the location, the commuting, the "bad management",
    the job. I thought I had lost the capacity to enjoy this job that I
    once loved.
    
    But I've just realised that it's the atmosphere with my work colleagues
    that I miss. I moved from a very warm, supportive work-group where I
    seemed to "click" with a lot of people to an environment where I
    don't seem to have as much in common with anyone and the atmosphere
    is a lot "cooler". If I could regain that, I could put up with the
    commuting etc etc.
    
    Your guidelines pretty much describe the general attitude of my
    old group.
    'gail
    

    
    	How, pray tell, does one "avoid emotional responses especially
    when angry or hurt"? Being angry or hurt is an emotional response.
    
    	Perhaps you mean "avoid acting inappropriately"? You can be
    angry, just dont overturn the table.
    
    	Joe
    

    
         to .2
    
         What is acting inappropriately other than turning over the table ? 
    
         I define emotional responses as the words you use, the way you use
         them, your response to conflict. I would consider an emotional 
         response as one in which someone or something angers you to the
         point where you feel the need to go for the throat immediately. 
         This intensifies the situation and causes more anger. 
    
         I agree with you regarding inappropriate action but feel that it
         is situational. For instance, if someone really fires you up, it
         is a good idea to go into a conference room or some private or
         semi-private area in order to alleviate the pain and stress that
         emotions can cause. That way you and the warring party can come to 
         some type of agreement rather than an open-ended impasse that is
         visible to the entire group and inhibits effective teamwork.
    
         DQ                                                         

    To .01
    
        Hooray for you !!  Is there a way that you can bring back the fun ?
    
        It seems that there are a lot of individuals out there that have 
        similar feelings. I for one enjoy what I do and always have because
        I always try to find the best in things and people. It is always 
        much harder to see the good things.  
    
        If you allow the bad to creep in it severely inhibits the way you 
        view the world around you and most certainly will translate into 
        your personal life. 
    
        Maybe when driving, you might try a different radio station weekly,
        notice the people in the cars that pass or that you pass, notice
        the cars, the road, the trees by the side. When was the last time 
        you noticed a particularly pretty tree or one at the end of it's 
        life cycle ? 
        To the "bad management" that we so often perceive and blame for
        problems. I think it is time for a change, we are in the beginning
        stages of the most astounding changes in every aspect of our lives
        for quite some time. It is up to all of us to help management
        identify where we want to go. As the ranks thin it will be up to 
        you, me, and all of us to determine the direction that we would
        like to proceed in. We need to promote the very thing that made 
        Digital the best place to be. The closeness, the culture, the 
        excitement. Promote it, it works !!
    
        DQ
            

     I liked it!  Our EIS group is considered to be one of the best around.
     One of the reasons is that when we get together in meetings, etc.
    there are occasional quips and laughter.  It makes everyone seem
    closer, so when team effort is needed, we're all a group and work
    together very well.  I agree with you whole heartedly that laughter
    and making work a "lighter" experience would really help to ease
    the doldrums and spark new life into employees.
    
    Have you got any great ideas on how this can be done?
    
    Barb

    
    RE .5
    
    Thanks !! 
    
    It's good to see you "brag" about your group. That is probably the 
    best way. Spread the message when possible. Try never to spread
    negatives or perpetuate myths. Speak of good things that happened
    frequently. Speak of unfortunate things as learning and value oriented
    for the entire work group. 
    
    Why not add your team to the "team day" in December ?  
    
    Is it easy for you to identify the leaders in your group or does the 
    leadership shift easily and frequently ? 
    
    I think groups that have a tendency to shift leadership more frequently
    are more often the fun groups. I use an archery target when considering 
    this. I identify the outer ring as the "circle of friends" or the point
    at which all are stretched from the bullseye. As an individual drifts
    away from the outer ring (usually toward the center) there is conflict 
    because the bullseye is much harder to hit. At the first ring in it is
    good to try and move the peers to alleviate the burden and "lighten the
    load" and when required allow a shift in leadership to occur. This will
    have the effect of re-establishing the "circle of friends". If the move
    toward the center goes to the next level I would as a manager provide 
    more of my time to alleviate the situation because this is the point at 
    which the peers begin to be affected. I may have to alter the current
    workload or situation by temporarily removing responsibility if
    practical or by locating additional (what's that??) resources and
    providing as much assistance as possible. For this analogy, it is quite
    possible to view the "circle of friends" as a balanced organization and
    therefore to stimulate teamwork, laughter, enjoyment and the natural
    tendency of humans to watch and wonder and learn.
    
    Please say more,
    
    Dq
    

    
    I like the positive tone of this topic.
    Just FYI, it contrasts drastically with a similar topic in
    UK_DIGITAL...some motivated person put a call for positivity into that
    string and immediately got jumped by cynics :-(
    
    This is far better :-)
    
    Promoting "lite" work-groups?
    - ask that colleague to lunch - the one you've never got around to...
    - praise teammembers when you can
    - phrase criticism as positively as possible
    - keep an "Ideas!" folder on your system, and put your ideas in it
    - forward some (or maybe all!) of them to your manager
    - implement the spirit of .0
    - take control of your own future - NO EXCUSES
    - get a good attitude (for your own sake, if not for DEC's)
    
    A little PollyAnna-ish? Maybe....but I'm sick of the alternative...
    'gail
    
    
    
    

    Great !!
    
       Please keep the ideas rolling, spread the word, it works !!
    
    DQ