Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    My estranged husband and I definitely fall into that catagory. 
    He was in a wheelchair when we met, and, for some reason, most people
    don't think people who are physically challenged have any sort of
    love life, so when we kissed in public there were always stares.
    There were stares when I sat on his lap, or when we carried on a
    conversation when no one else could understand what he said, and
    I could.  At first I felt a bit defensive, but after while, we both
    found it rather amusing and would boldly stare back or do something
    a bit outrageous to embarass the other parties.
                                                  
    People are people and naturally curious.  If they should act shocked
    because a couple is different, it may be because they are wondering
    if they are lacking somewhere to *not* have that type of person
    with them, or even trying to determine the attraction factors. 
    Learn to either ignore it, laugh at it or both.  After awhile it's easy
    to shrug off such behavior.
    
    Barb  
           
    

    
    It doesn't matter what shape or size you are .......
    
    The only thing you need is love and a little bit of understanding!!
    
    Gordon.

One of the first things they teach you in Psychology 101, is that 
people are attracted to attractive people, but stick with similar 
people.

For that reason, it strikes us as strange to see couples where the 
two people are very dissimilar. We may be at a loss as to exactly
**why** we feel that way, yet we do.

While it is very possible for dissimilar couples to fall in love,
have a relationship and maybe get married, they do have this one
little strike against them.

-- Ron

    re:.2
    
    That is what we all say, or like to believe.  But when it comes right
    down to it....Does it really matter to YOU?  
    
    C.

It matters to me...


I used to pretend it didn't but it did...

I'm 5'9:" and my ex was about 1" shorter than me, but what with heels and the 
fact that mens legs are shorter and bodies longer it just felt (and looked?) 
wrong.

Him being smaller, and slimmer than me made me feel like some kind of giantess..
especially as I had the "stronger" personality...

Since splitting up with him I had gone out with men over 6' and what a 
difference... I feel so much more feminine...

I was dancing with someone  about the same height as me at a disco last week
and was acutely aware of it...

Guess it cuts my options down looking for men over 5'10" but you can't help the
way you feel...

Guess I'm just not as confident to carry it off as Christie Brinkley!




Xtine

    
    re .4
    
    I'm sure it must matter to a certain degree ....but when it comes right
    down to it ....it depends how much love you have in your heart!!!
    
    Gordon.
    

    I have met some people that to the 'eye' are very attractive.  Then
    they open their mouth and NOTHING comes out...or they are rude, 
    arrogant and egotistical.  They quickly become ugly in my eyes.
    
    On the other hand, I have met some people who are not - by society's
    standard's physically attractive.  But they are warm, loving, giving
    and sensitive and are truly beautiful.
    
    Personally I try to take the time to find beauty within. 
    
    Just my .02 cents.
    
    Marilyn
    

    I think that everyone would like to beleive that they would look beyond
    the outside shell... but in reality we are all subconciously affected
    by opions on things such as height, weight, colour...
    
    There have been psychological experiments to prove how quickly opinions
    and predjudices can affect a persons view of another...
    
    Over time, you can get to know the real person, but in my experience
    that only happens when something else is there to keep you "together"
    over the initail period.
    
    eg. If you work with someone, or are in a club with someone then you
    get time to get past the exterior shell, but if you meet someone for
    the first time in a one-off situation (ie pub or party or something)
    then unless they meet your sub-concious criteria you probably wouldn't
    get past that first encounter, and being a sub-concious thing you are
    probably not even aware that anything has (or in this case hasn't)
    happened.
    
    
    
    Xtine

    RE:  8
    
    I guess I interpreted the basenote to say that some COUPLES appear to
    be mismatched - not that people, in general, are affected by the
    curse/blessing of a 'pretty face'.   :-)
    
    That paragraph doesn't make a bit of sense...I know what I want to say
    but it isn't coming out right.
    
    I agree that we all have subconcious/subliminal feelings that attract
    us to other people...however my response was with regards to chosing a 
    mate (for life).  I would hope that I would take the time to get past 
    the outer attractiveness and eventually find their beauty within.
    
    Marilyn
     

    .8:  Hate to disagree with you, Xtine, but ALL people aren't as you
    say.
    
    Neither my husband (of almost 8 years) nor I took off for the high
    hills when we met face-to-face for the first time and neither of us fit
    each other's subconscious criterion.  I had always like the semi-tall
    (5'10"-6'2"), dark, and clean-shaven type of guy... my husband is 5'7
    1/2", blonde, blue-eyed and sports a rather nice beard and mustache. 
    While my husband says I fit his subconscious criterion with the
    exception that I was (and still am) overweight), he could have blown me
    off, and vice-versa, at our first meeting.
    
    Perhaps Daryl and I are the exception, but I have a little more faith
    in the human race to believe that there are more than two people on
    this planet who view other people the way we do.

    I am 5'2" and my husband is 6'4"...... yes we get an occasional
    stare....but I say...who cares what others think? ;-) ;-).
    
    
    Lynne

    I believe there is somebody for everybody.
    
    I once new a very odd older couple.  She was a very big woman, with a
    masculine physique, a lot of facial hair, would have to shave daily,
    balding severly and would wear the most outrageous wigs and hats, God
    love her, and to top if off, when she opened her mouth, she spoke with
    the most femine gentle voice I've ever heard.  
    
    He was a rather large man, carried his weight right around his
    mid-section and had very skinny legs to hold him up.   He smoked a pipe
    all the time and would cough terribly.  
    
    How they found each other, we never knew, but my family took them in as
    friends because they were always left to sit alone at church, or left
    behind all the time.  They latched onto us like leeches, and even though
    at times they were suffocating, we could never turn our backs on them. 
    We included them in the family activities..... then, one awful day, we
    got news second hand that this couple died one evening driving home in
    their station wagon.... he was driving, somehow, they hit a tree and
    both were killed instantly...  
    
    It was the saddest day of our lives.  Mostly because we had heard the
    news weeks after the funeral.... they had no family, no friends but us,
    and we weren't even there to pay our last respects...  They lived a
    very lonely life, and died a very lonely death.  So sad...
    
    But, the comfort came from knowing that as odd as they were, as terribly
    as they were treated by other people, they loved each other deeply, and
    thank God he took them together, because they never would have survived
    one without the other....  
    
    SO, I truly believe, that there is somebody for everybody.
    
    Judy