| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 989.1 | | CSC32::GORTMAKER | Only 6 more sleepless days to go! | Wed Apr 18 1990 04:00 | 16 |
| A great example of this is currently in the Colorado Springs news where a city
offical(sorry I forget the name) has quit his job after 18 months to return
to Phoenix to be with his wife. The reason is his wife who is a lawyer was
unable to find suitable work here in COS. She would work in AZ durning the week
and commute to COS for the weekends causing considerable strain on their
relationship.
As I see it someone has to give in such situations which is difficult to do in
todays "me" society. If she gives she has bowed to male domination and if he
does the reverse is true. I sometimes wonder if we are not making marriage
obsolete with our so called new age thinking.
I think I like the "old ways" better when it comes to this.
-j
|
| 989.2 | ditto | DEC25::BERRY | Stupid People Shouldn't Breed | Wed Apr 18 1990 05:37 | 1 |
|
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| 989.3 | echo | PARITY::R_ELWELL | Dirty old men need love, too. | Wed Apr 18 1990 16:49 | 3 |
| I agree wholeheartedly with .1
....Bob
|
| 989.4 | Searching for a gentler time... | CSC32::K_KINNEY | | Wed Apr 18 1990 19:23 | 22 |
|
Well, I guess I was seeing that too. These kind of tradeoffs
are a bear to deal with. Companies lose because they have
time and $$$ invested in their employees careerwise. Employees
lose because of the time they have invested in their careers.
And, I do worry about the bottom line effect on the relationships.
The one who does the giving must not feel REAL good about it.
I heard last year about some news woman (real famous I guess)
who was married to a fellow on the other side of the US. They
went like this for a couple years and decided that they couldn't
do it anymore. There went the marriage. It just seems so "lose
lose" to me. I prefer going for "win win" myself. I would rather
be hanging out in my porch rocker (or wherever I am then) when
I am old and gray (I plan on being a cool, world traveler old
lady) looking at the same face I looked at every day for the last
40 years than just be holding my cat and having memories of
a great career if you know what I mean. But I sure wouldn't
mind having both. I would prefer it if I could figure it out.
kim
|
| 989.5 | | CSC32::GORTMAKER | Only 5 more sleepless days to go! | Thu Apr 19 1990 05:07 | 17 |
| Geez I think I'd give my career up in a minute if I could find me
a nice sugar mama that woulden't beat me too often 8^)
Financial prosperity is nothing without the wealth a happy personal life
provides.
I asked my mother about this today because I knew she had put her career on
hold several times to raise us kids and as my father transfered from place
to place in the air force. She said she never regretted it for a minute because
she knew that at some point she could return if she wanted. She also said
that being there for us growing up and having the love of my father was more
than enough reason to sacrifice a little bit. She did return to her career
by the way and has a collective service time of 37 years with AT&T not that
bad in my opinion.
-j
|
| 989.6 | No easy answers | CSC32::K_KINNEY | | Sat Apr 21 1990 18:33 | 15 |
|
Well, having raised my kids already, I am not willing to
give up my career. It was too hard to get started. People
still find too many reasons not to hire women for the kinds
of jobs some of us seek. I like working. I will probably
work until the day someone finds me mummified in the halls
and even then, they may use me as a doorstop so I guess I
never will have to quit, huh? *8^)
I guess the problem cited in the base note will have to
remain unsolved for now if I insist (and I do) on both
partners getting what they want/need in their lives both
personally and from a career standpoint.
kim
|
| 989.7 | ".... get creatrive ...", "..cheat on each other.." | AHIKER::EARLY | Bob Early, Transmission Products Support | Fri May 18 1990 14:17 | 35 |
| >Years ago, this was not a REAL big problem because lots of
>partnerships had at least one person who was the 'stay at
Years ago, while a member of the US Military system, separations
were frequent (every 90 days, for 90 days), sometimes for 180 days
to 2 years.
In the case one stayed home, while the other had to be someplace
where it either was impractical (children in school), unaccompanied
tour (temporary), or impossible (war zones).
About 50% managed, the other 50% got divorced.
>home partner'. At this point, I have heard that a recent
>count shows 70%+ of all partnerships have both persons at
>least working, if not in careers (indicating a longer term
The only unique reply that comes to mind, is that each person needs
to look within themselves and decide for themselves this question:
"What is THE most important factor to me, and HOW can we deal with
it together ?"
>commitment to some profession). So, have any of you dealt
>with this personally? Any creative ideas on how to work with
>this?
Get creative, make a business together, sacrifice, commute
alternately, make it an "open ended commitment" ..
BobE
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