| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 987.1 | Understanding | SLAVC::MAHONEY | | Fri Apr 13 1990 13:09 | 17 |
| <Help to recover mentally as well as physically
That operation is not the end of the world and should not affect her
mentally, and physically, at 34, there is no reason for an early
recovery. My syster had the same operation, she was 37 and her life
did not change after that... well yes, for a few years after it, she
was afraid that the growth would reproduce and become malignant, it
did not reproduce and she is 59 now. From what I've seen, there is no
reason to treat that surgery any different from any other. (True, a
woman cannot conceive, but she has 2 children and I bet she uses BIRTH
CONTROL presently, so... where is the concern of not being able to give
birth to more children?)
Assure her that she has children, a family, and her health. That is a
heck of a lot when we think about it.
Be supportive to her, help her to recuperate, I don't see much more
that you could do.
Lots of luck.
|
| 987.2 | | ICESK8::KLEINBERGER | A bee can sting a bear | Fri Apr 13 1990 14:55 | 6 |
| You may also want to look at the womannotes conference at
RAINBO::WOMANNOTES-V2.. This topic from a womans' point of view has been
discussed to great detail. You may gain a very indepth insight from
reading it.
G
|
| 987.3 | Both Mentally and Physically | USCTR2::DONOVAN | | Sat Apr 14 1990 01:53 | 5 |
| I don't know much about this but I'd like to send prayers for a speedy
recovery.
Kate
|
| 987.4 | ... just keep on caring ... | AHIKER::EARLY | Bob Early CSS/NSG Dtn 264-6252 | Mon Apr 16 1990 13:05 | 24 |
| >What can you share with me ?
I think it all depends on how your wife views herself. In my own
personal life, and living with two people who had hysterectomies,
and knowing a sister-in-law who had a hysterectomy ... there is
nothing any had in common. My SIL seemd to think the world had
ended, and degraded herself as ".. being a hollow woman ...", and
one of the other woman I knew (intimately well) considered it a
blessing after all the years of menstrual grief, pain, and anguish.
For whatever else your relationship might be, it sounds like you
still care for one another. Just keep caring, and doing those
things that people who really care do for one another.
Be sensitive to changes in her personality, and sensitive to what
may be new needs, wants and desires.
Major surgery of any sort can be the stimulis to persons creative
process in how they look at life.
-Bob
|
| 987.5 | From one who knows! | PCOJCT::COHEN | SHE'S A LITTLE BIT DANGEROUS! | Wed Apr 18 1990 10:24 | 15 |
| Make sure that she knows from you that she is still a woman...and still
the same woman that you married and cared for and loved......
SHe may feel like she is less of a woman now that she cannot reproduce,
but she must be told, over, and over, and over, and over, that she is
still a wonderful, desirable woman to be loved and cherished...
You might also be surprised....your marraige may turn around and start
to spark again...
Wishing her and you a speedy and painless recovery.
Jill
|
| 987.6 | LOTS OF LOVE! | WEDOIT::ROMANELLI | | Thu May 03 1990 16:45 | 4 |
| Let her know you still love her, she is not different, however she
will have many ups and downs because of the operation. The same
goes for the kids.....she will need love and support...not
smothering... treat her as person day by day....
|
| 987.7 | My perspective! | ICS::ANDERSON_M | | Wed Jun 19 1991 14:33 | 31 |
| Having had the surgery myself (at 37) perhaps I can give you a little
insight.
When I had mine I had been in a lot of pain, also had cancer elsewhere
and was basically to the point where I WANTED one...just so I could
feel better (physically). I always told myself that if I ever had to
lose a part of my body...that having a hysterectomy would be the
easiest as no one could tell (unless I chose to tell them) and I
had two healthy children and didn't want any more.
Denial.
Felt miserable. It wasn't that I didn't feel like a 'woman' - it was
more like something very vital of MINE was taken from me and I was
angry. It was something I could not control and being a very strong
and independent person....I felt violated. I felt alone.
I had a wonderful physician who said that NOTHING will change unless I
let it. I had good friends, family and a lot of love and support. (I
was divorced, by the way!) With time, and counseling, I have now put
that part of my life in it's proper place.
No more pain, no more mood swings, no more expense....and I no longer
have the feeling that I am not 'whole' anymore because without the
surgery - I wouldn't have all the other things that are much more
important.
I'm alive!
Marilyn
|