Conference quark::human_relations-v1

827.0. " should i or shouldn't i?" by WLDWST::SHAW () Mon Aug 28 1989 12:40

    don't really know why i am writing this but i find myself wondering
    what would a majority of you would do.
    
    i began a relationship sometime in may and it happened to be with
    someone i went out with before and started having feelings for. we
    were very good friends for 5 months before getting involved. i saw
    alot of things about this guy that i really liked. the honesty and
    respect he had for others.  well this is the 3rd time around for
    us and i just don't know if i should confront him or leave it alone.
    i have never and i can't believe i'm going to say this, ever felt
    intimacy before until now. i've been married (for all the wrong
    reasons). it is a beautiful feeling. well any way there is this person
    we know and we both have seen the trouble she can make for others.
    she told him that i went out looking for him and finding him at
    her place so i think they went to bed. for some reason i need to
    say this. i don't think we ever needed to say how we felt because
    we could see it in each others eyes. a feeling that i felt. well
    he's the type where he just doesn't want any hassle so he goes on
    with his business and doesn't deal with the problem. a very easy
    going person. i trusted him because i'v seen him go through several
    relationships , so i knew how he was. and i know that he didn't
    sleep with her and i just want to know if i should let him know
    how i feel about him not giving me the opportunity to discuss this
    and let it hang in the air. i feel like he is waiting to see my
    actions and as long as i don't react it's going to be left unfinished.
    
    hope to hear from anyone at this point.
    
    

    okay i went for it and confronted him. thing here is that he's mad
    because i didn't go to him. well i told him that i didn't want him
    to know that i was feeling insecure so i went to someone who knew
    the situation and mainly just to talk and get it out and feel better.
    she twisted everything around and i just told him that he's the
    only one who can make the decision. that i was disappointed that
    i didn't get the chance but what it all comes down to is that my
    word isn't worth anything. so i left him with the thought. who's
    relationship is it and are we going to let them come between it.
    what is it worth to him and when he was done thinking about it he
    could let me know where i stood so i don't waste my time. i can
    let go because that's what he wants. i think i even surprised him
    by confronting him. something he's never knew i would do. 
    

    Hi!
    
    All I can say is give it a shot! And if it does not work out say as I
    say....There are other fish in the sea!!
    
    good luck
    
    Lynne :-)