| I understand all to well how frustrating a workaholic husband can
be. For me it was to frustrating. My (soon to be ex) husband is
a very nice person. He worked very hard to start a business for
himself. He'd always worked 50+ hours a week in traditional jobs
but that shot up when he decided to go into his own business full
time. 6-7 days a week usually 14 hours a day. Talk about tired?
I was as understanding as could be for a long time, unfortunately
I never saw the fruits of his labor (he was loosing his shirt).
I could not deal with feeling alone all the time in the confinds
of a marriage.
The frustration of never being able to partake in normal activities
because your spouse is always working is something you either accept
or try to change. I found out it this workaholic wasn't going to
change.
I think anytime your spouse is away for extended periods be it travel
or work it creates quite a strain on the relationship. The person
left at home has to have an exceptionally positive and supportive
attitude. I guess I'm not that patient a person.
Sorry, no words of wisdom here, just understanding...
Gail
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| Hi Jackie .... it's amazing huh. Where will I pop up next ;-) I
was there too. My ex worked 36 hours a week in 12 hour shifts. She
went to school two nights a week for essentially pre-med. And she
taught a few classes at New England Memorial Hospital. Also she
rotated weekends. I was single without the legal right to date.
I had more company with the cats when she wasn't there. When she
was there, it was never for me. It was ALWYAS something else, but
never any time for her relationship. I did most of the cooking,
all my own clothes, the house cleaning, etc......I had all my own
friends I would go out with ... while they were having fun on the
dance floor I would get quietly stewed in a corner because I did
not feel that I had the right to start...I was afraid I wouldn't
be able to stop. You can talk to me kiddo ... we can relate on common
grounds here and besides ... you owe ME a game of backgammon at
the same place we played the last time. Don't you want to win this
time (challange!)? Lenny AISVAX::BUCUVALAS
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I just thought I would add a different point of view. For along
time and maybe even still to a degree, I was what one would
call a work-a-holic. I use to tell myself that it was because
I wanted to provide a good home for my family, you know the
story, do better then what you parents did. My ex use to
accuse me of being too competative. After all was said an done,
I think I finaly realized that I was a work-a-holic because
I found the acceptance and success there that I could never
find at home. Even when I was home (before and after I became
a work-a-holic) my ex found other things to do with her time,
anything it seemed to avoid spending it with me, or atleast
that's how it seemed, I turned to my work to satisfy those
needs that I could not get satisfied at home. Everyone needs
to have a sense of control and accomplishment in their life.
Some people can only find that in their work, and others are
FORCED to find that in other places, such as work.
One other point that I would like to make. Being a work-a-holic
is not unlike being a alcoholic, it becomes addictive, if it
satisfies a need, even slightly, that you are not getting satisfied
anywhere else, then even that is better then nothing. And I
think to a degree that most work-a-holics have very little else
in their lifes, if they did they wouldn't be at work. Even a
work-a-holic wants happiness.
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